A/N: "Mistakes are the portal of discovery."-James Joyce

***

The words floated in my head like a flutter of butterflies.

As Gab recalled the events that happened that fateful New Year's Day in 2015, I willed my mind to concentrate but couldn't.

Not remembering anything was disconcerting and Gab noticed it too.

"Do you want me to continue?" he looked worried and puzzled at the same time.

"Jade?" Paul touched me on the elbow.

"Do you want to talk about this with Jose Cuervo as our witness?" he interjected.

Gab frowned in disapproval but Paul was only trying to make light of a tense situation.

"I'm sorry, guys." I smiled weakly to both of them.

"It's difficult when my mind is not able to put two and two together," I confessed.

"I feel like I'm in a movie theater watching someone else's life unfold in front of me," I explained.

I massaged my temples as the beginnings of a headache made itself known.

"We have Biogesic here," Gab stood up and went to the kitchen.

When he came back, he handed me the tablet and a glass of water.

"I think it's safe to take on an empty stomach,"

I opened the blister pack and took the orange pill.

Normally, I would suck it up and endure the pain but today was an exception.

"Start over," I told Gab as soon as he was seated back in his chair.

He nodded his head.

***

New Year 2015 was the worst time for the Tanchingco's.

"Both the regular New Year and the Chinese lunar year," Gab began.

"The morning you returned to the house, I was in our room when a commotion prompted me to get up and check what was happening."

"I could hear you screaming at the bodyguards and Dada."

"When I got out of the room, I saw that you were being restrained by two heavy set men I don't recognized."

"You looked furious, Jade."

"I approached Dada and demanded to know what was going on but he told me to leave."

"I chose to stay."

"I could tell that you were sick because your eyes were watery, your face and nose were red and you kept coughing."

"I was angered at how Dada was handling the situation." Gab's jaw clenched, as if the memory of that day uncovered a raw emotion he had been hiding for a long time.

"When I tried to come closer, Dada pushed me away and I lost my balance and fell on the floor,"

"It was at that moment when Ma came out of her room,"

"She was shocked to see what was happening but even more astonished to see you, Jade."

"Why?" I asked, curious.

Gab looked at Paul.

"You have been gone for a long time when you chose to be with Althea," was the answer.

"It infuriated Dada that you chose her over our family,"

"What angered him more was your stubbornness to come back despite the fact that you were almost living in poverty,"

Gab looked away.

"I admire that about you, shobe" he revealed.

"No matter how Dada persecutes you or Althea, the two of you managed to weather every storm,"

"That is until he decided to forcefully take you away from Althea," Paul commented.

"I learned that they found you in Baguio after months of tracking your whereabouts,"

"When they brought you back to the mansion, you were like a raging animal,"

"You kept screaming at Dada to let you go but of course, he would hear none of it,"

"Ma begged him to at least let her take care of you because you were very sick and he allowed it."

"With one condition," he paused.

I waited for him to continue.

"That from that day on, you will confined at the basement in a locked room with security keeping an eye on you 24/7." Gab swallowed hard.

He shook his head and his lips quivered.

When he looked at me, his eyes were heavy with remorse.

"I'm so sorry, Jade" Gab's expression was repentant.

"For months, you were imprisoned in that room."

"None of us were allowed to see you or talk to you except our Uncle George,"

Paul scoffed and Gab and I looked at his direction.

"That only goes to show you how even a man of the cloth will go to great lengths to cover the madness of our father,"

"But why did Uncle George consent to it?" I replied in disbelief.

"Because he agreed with Dada that you need intervention," Gab answered.

"One way to do it is to separate you from any human contact especially Althea,"

"Did they really think they could de-gay me?" I asked again, incredulous.

Gab sighed.

We were interrupted by the arrival of Angeline.

She was carrying grocery bags and boxes of food and Gab stood up to help her.

While they were at the kitchen, I kept trying to wrap my head around the fact that my own father kept me a prisoner.

That the other members of my family were helplessly watching as I went through the ordeal.

The thought made me sick so I excused myself from Paul to go to the bathroom.

***

I stared at my image in the mirror.

There were no traces of the torment I went through in the hands of my own father.

The woman I saw looking back at me showed no scars because I was protected by my memory loss.

Now that I allowed myself to revisit the painful memories, my mind instinctively went on protection mode.

The information was too much it seemed unreal.

I imagined my father's face.

I know he could be ruthless but I was his little girl.

I would always be his baby, that's what he always told me.

For my brothers to paint a different picture of him shattered my ideals.

I choked and began to cry.

I sat on the toilet seat and gave myself the freedom to release my emotions.

My shoulders shook as I recalled the story of what happened on that day.

I thought of Althea and how devastated she was to learn that I wasn't there anymore.

Despite the fact that she might never see or hear from me again, she waited.

Althea never gave up hope and that conviction fired my determination to do the same for her.

This wasn't how I thought the search for the truth would turn out.

But with no recollection of my life, am I going to doubt my brothers' revelation?

They have their own issues with my father that much is true.

But I know how they would go to the ends of the earth to protect me.

Did they do that by following what my father told them to do against their will?

I unrolled the toilet paper and blew my nose.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Jade," it was Gab.

"Are you alright, shobe?"

I told him I'm okay.

I stood up and washed my face.

My eyes were red from crying.

When I got out of the bathroom, the three of them were at the table waiting for me.

"Let's eat first, Jade." It was Gab.

I nodded and took a seat beside Paul.

***

I was quiet as we ate.

Angeline bought three large size Pepperoni pizza, cinnamon buns and garlic bread.

The three of them engaged in conversation.

Paul asked the couple about their lives as I listened and ate my food.

Years ago, Angeline quit her teaching job to help Gab in their buy and sell business.

"Isn't it strange that I was doing the same thing that Angkong and Ama did when they got married? Gab asked.

"But that's what I know how to do," he added.

"It's also something he's very good at," Angeline declared proudly as she lovingly smiled at her husband.

Gab returned her smile.

I could see how much they love each other and I thought of Althea.

The way she looked at me was the same as Gab and Angeline's.

There was an unspoken understanding between them.

A silent promise that they would always have each other's back no matter what happens.

"Jade are you okay?" Paul was looking at me.

"Uh huh," I replied.

Gab turned to look at Angeline.

"Jade wants to know what happened to her years ago," he explained.

Angeline looked at me.

She had the same look of worry in her face.

"Are you sure of this, Jade?" her voice was filled with genuine concern.

"Yes," was my brief reply.

"Do you remember any of it?" she asked again and I shook my head.

I put down the slice of cinnamon bun I was eating and reached for a tissue.

"How did I escaped?" the question came out of my mind in an instant.

The three of them stared at each other.

It was Paul who answered the question.

"Ama,"

The puzzled look on my face told him I needed details.

"She wandered into the basement that time," he began.

"No one knew how or why but she was there,"

"The guard was taking a leak and Ama opened the door and found you awake,"

I stopped him.

"I thought the room was locked?"

"That's what we thought too," Paul answered.

"I went to the basement countless times to spy on the guard," he admitted.

"I wanted to know his routine, what time he usually go on break or when he goes to the bathroom to piss or whatever, and I studied his behavior for weeks."

"One time, I had the chance to sneak in but when I tried to open the door, it was locked."

"That mistake cause me a beating from the guards as instructed by Dada,"

"So it was just pure luck that when Ama got there, the door was unlocked?"

Paul shrugged his shoulders.

Gad replied that it would have been a blessing in disguise if it weren't for the succeeding accident that would follow after I escaped.

"That night was like a scene out of an action movie," he told us.

"The roads were treacherous since it's been raining the whole day,"

"When you lost control of the car, we thought it was not only from the bad condition of the road but also because you were exhausted or impaired."

"It's not impossible because you've been in the basement for months," Angeline added.

"You weren't allowed to go outside, there was no sunlight aside from the light coming in through the small window," she added.

"The only time you get to talk to the guard was when he brought your meals."

"Or when Uncle George visits you twice a week for your therapy or confession and whatever bullshit they call it," Paul told me.

I drank the water in front of me.

"So in a way, the accident was my liberation?" I concluded.

The three of them had a confused look on their faces.

"Look," I began to explain.

"If that accident didn't happen, then I would still be locked up in the basement right?"

"That's possible," Gab replied.

"Or in one of my drunken stupor, I could have called the police to tell them what's going on," Paul remarked.

"Not that I have the best chance of being taken seriously since Dada would probably play the alcoholic card to them,"

"But since I almost died and had an amnesia, it offered a new option for Dada to carry out his plan," I told them.

They all nodded in agreement.

"Isn't it strange?" I mused.

"How an incident that almost claimed my life gave me a new beginning?" I said to all of them.

They all looked befuddled, unsure as to where I was leading the conversation.

"What are you getting at, Jade?" Gab asked.

"As pathetic as it sounds, having an amnesia may have given me my second chance," I replied.