A/N: "A single feat of daring can alter the whole conception of what is possible."-Graham Greene

***

Nothing could be more painful than for the love of your life to be taken from you.

I am not talking about myself.

I'm talking about my brother Gabriel.

***

For years, he endured a loveless relationship with Pearl which bore them a beautiful girl name Deborah Jade.

The choice to use my second name was fraught with conflict mostly because Pearl hated me.

But my mother insisted because she thought Deborah looked just like me when she was born.

Pearl was left without a choice but to consent to the wishes of her mother-in-law.

DJ, as everyone called her, was the love of Gabriel's life.

She brought him happiness, a new purpose.

For a while, Pearl thought that their daughter would strengthen their union and make Gab forget about the woman who almost ruined their married life.

It didn't.

Gab was still pining for Angeline.

He may not see her or talk about her but there is a cloud of loneliness that followed him wherever he goes.

Work became his mistress and if it weren't for DJ, he may have chosen to spend his time at the office.

Through a chance encounter, Gab and Angeline met again.

The meeting confirmed what both of them knew.

That through the years of separation, the love they have for each other still holds.

Angeline was ready to leave him again but Gab didn't let her go.

Not this time.

A few weeks later, he told the family of his desire to annul his marriage to Pearl.

The declaration shook an already fragile relationship, driving Pearl to the edge of her sanity.

But Gab stood his ground.

My parents saw the determination in his eyes.

DJ was barely a year old that time.

Pearl gave Gab and everyone a warning.

She told us she would do everything for him not to have custody of DJ.

The threat sent him hurtling to desperation.

He pleaded for her to be fair but it was asking for the same thing he couldn't give her.

Once the annulment was done, Gab never saw his daughter again.

He left to be with Angeline but despite getting what he hoped for, there was a big hole left in his heart--that of his daughter's.

***

Gabriel lived in the outskirts of the city.

The drive took more than an hour and on the way to our destination, Paul and I decided to stop at a McDonald's Drive-Thru where he ordered a BigMac value meal for himself, a chicken burger meal for mine and two large size vanilla milkshakes.

I glanced at him as he was taking the orders and noticed how happy he was.

"What?" he asked as he placed the drinks on the holder.

"Nothing," I replied.

"Your smile tells me something else," he remarked as he opened the box of Big Mac.

"Would you like to stop for a bit so we can eat?" he said in between bites,

the words inaudible.

I agreed and we found a spot close to a nearby Cinnabon store.

"Hmmmm...Cinnabon," Paul said as soon as we caught a whiff of the sweet scent.

This time, I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Is it wrong to love cinnamon?" he stuck out his tongue at me.

The situation reminded me of the time when we were young.

How delighted we'd be when our parents took us to McDonalds or Jollibee.

Paul and I loved ice cream.

We enjoyed the treat with decadent excitement and it intrigued Gab how such a simple dessert could make us lose our minds.

"You're just jealous," Paul would give him a good ribbing whenever he'd question us endlessly why we're so crazy for ice cream.

"Among us, you're the one without a sweet tooth,"

"You are missing out bro," he would grin at our oldest brother who brushed off the remark, cool as a cucumber.

Paul licked the ice cream, closing his eyes for emphasis, as Gab stared in amazement.

I would watch in awe at the funny exchange between my brothers.

Those were the days.

Back when a simple thing as an ice cream brought so much happiness to our lives.

If only this treat could be the panacea to our problems, I don't think we'd have to beat the heat and travel all the way to the south to see my brother.

We didn't even call to check if he'll be there.

"You're not eating, Jade" Paul pointed towards the untouched chicken burger.

"Day dreaming?" He teased as I took the box and started eating.

"I'm just thinking how easy it would be if there was a simple solution to our problems," I replied.

Paul sighed.

"I'm sorry shobe,"

"But I lost my will and my courage to fight," the sadness was obvious in his voice.

I reached for his hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"Don't be too hard on yourself," I comforted him.

"I know it's not too late for us to correct our mistakes."

He nodded in agreement.

I put the half-eaten burger back in the box and wiped my mouth with the tissue.

I quickly drank the water he bought for me and started the engine.

"We should get going," I reversed out of the parking lot and resumed our way to our destination.

***

Less than an hour later, we stopped in front of a quiet gated community.

A guard was standing in his post and he motioned for us to enter as he opened the gate.

I unrolled the window and told him we are visiting Gabriel Tanchingco.

He nodded his head and handed me the visitor sheet.

While I was signing it, I asked for the house number and instructions on where to find it.

The guard willingly answered the question.

Once I was done, the guard didn't even bother to check my information.

He bid us goodbye and allowed us entry to the subdivision.

The heat of the sun was beating down on us and I looked at the clock on the dashboard.

It was almost 1:30 in the afternoon.

No wonder it felt like we were travelling in the dessert with the intense heat.

The air conditioning was helpless in fighting off the temperature.

I drove slowly as we got closer to Gabriel's house.

Paul checked the house number and pointed towards the right when he found the address.

The house was a two-story structure similar to all the others in the subdivision.

It was painted in a combination of baby blue and white.

In front of the house was parked Gab's old bimmer.

I stopped behind the vehicle and shut off the engine.

"Do you think he's home?" I asked Paul as I unfastened the seatbelt.

He only shrugged his shoulders but took his phone from his pocket.

"I guess we'll find out," he replied as he dialed the number.

***

A few minutes later, we were standing in the front door.

I clutched the Manila folder closed to my chest, like a prized possession.

When the door opened, a surprised Angeline opened the door but smiled at both of us.

"Come on in," she stepped aside to let us enter.

I apologized for coming in unannounced but Angeline said it was okay.

She offered us a seat in their small living room and proceeded to the kitchen to get us a drink.

"You must be very thirsty," she opened the fridge and took a pitcher of water.

"Gab will be downstairs in a moment," she was holding a bottle of lemon iced tea and coke.

"What would you like to drink?" she asked.

Paul stood up to take the coke while I settled for water.

As we waited for Gab, I couldn't help but noticed how well kept the place was.

It's a small house, definitely not even close to the size of our dwelling but there's a calming aura to the place.

The curtains were white, giving a natural brightness and a peaceful air.

The furniture was mostly wooden from the living room chair to the dining table.

What struck me was the absence of TV in the living room.

Underneath the stairs was an iPod dock on top of a dark brown bookshelf, overflowing with a variety of books.

Beside it was a framed photograph of Gab and Angeline, smiling happily at the camera.

I could see the Golden Gate Bridge behind them.

I heard footsteps coming downstairs and my heart quickened.

When Gabriel saw me, he stopped midway and stared at me.

His hair was now peppered with white and he had a five o'clock shadow on his face.

He looked contented and happy.

It showed in his eyes and the relaxed manner he carried himself.

He walked quickly as Paul and I stood up to meet him.

Once he was close, Gab didn't say a word.

He embraced me and when he pulled away, he was crying.

I was crying too.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Angeline wiping the side of her eyes.

Paul sniffed as Gab hugged him.

"It's been a long time," was all Gab managed to say.

***

Angeline left us alone in the house.

She said she would go to the grocery to pick up food.

"We haven't done some shopping," she sounded apologetic as she took the car key from Gab.

He kissed her on the cheek before she left.

When she was gone, the three of us just stared at each other.

Gab kept shaking his head.

"I can't believe you're here," he told us when he spoke, his voice brimming with excitement.

"How have you been?" I asked him.

"I'm at peace, Jade" he smiled at me.

"I still have pain, I still carry the memory of losing DJ and Pearl but I made a choice." His face turned serious.

"What brings you here though?" he asked frankly.

I looked at Paul before answering his question.

I opened the Manila folder and handed it to him.

Gab stared at the documents, puzzled.

"I want to know the truth about what happened eight years ago, Gab." I explained.

He took a deep breath, unsure of what to say next.

"Please Gab," I pleaded.

"You found your peace." I told him.

"Help me find mine," my voice almost broke as I said the words.

"Jade....." he paused.

He leaned on his chair and bit his fingernail.

A habit he had when he was thinking.

"What brought this on?" He asked.

"You have built a life with David and DJ,"

"Why now?"

For someone who had to annul his marriage and leave his daughter behind to follow his heart, I was disappointed at his reaction.

He sensed that I was unsettled and he took my hand in his.

"Shobe, I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean it to come out that way,"

"But I'm shocked, that's all."

Without waiting for me to answer, Paul spoke.

"Althea," he remarked.

Gab sighed and nodded his head in understanding.

Suddenly, a smile formed in his lips and he scratched his temple.

"I knew it!" he exclaimed.

"You came back to the country and your past haunts you the minute you set foot in the Tanchingco mansion," he remarked.

"True love is relentless," he pondered.

As he was talking, I scanned the document, searching for clues that would unlock my life mystery.

I flipped the pages but there was nothing in the information to confirm that I had amnesia.

I slammed the papers on the wooden coffee table and slumped on my seat.

"Nothing!" I exclaimed.

My reaction surprised my brothers.

Paul put one arm on my shoulder.

"Jade, calm down." He comforted me.

"You don't need those documents," he pulled me close and I lay my head on his shoulder, the tears falling in frustration.

"Dada, made sure that any information about the accident would be erased." Gab explained.

"But Jade, it's true what Paul said."

"You have us,"

"We know what happened,"

"We hold the answer to your questions"

His eyes were filled with sadness and guilt.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything back then," he confessed.

"All of us are imprisoned by guilt because we couldn't do anything to help you,"

I pulled away from Paul.

"So help me now by telling me everything that happened," I demanded.

"If the past eight years of my life was a lie," I looked at both of them.

"Give me a chance to make my future the truth,"

***