On the way back to the mansion, my mind was occupied with only one thing: the kiss.

I touched my lips lightly as I gaze outside the window.

The taste of Althea's sweet lips lingered in my memory.

Her hunger for me was dizzying and I realized I was the same.

It's strange how I never wanted it to end.

But it had to.

When Althea called my name, the truth dawned on me and it was painful.

Why did I kiss her when I know very well that I shouldn't?

I was looking for an answer.

Did I find the answer?

Yes.

For someone pragmatic, a non-believer of esoteric beliefs, I realized that Sally was right about her theories about The One.

Am I losing my mind?

Maybe I was.

But I made a choice and the decision was something I didn't regret.

During that moment when her lips touched mine, I was lost.

There was no explanation to what I felt when I connected with Althea.

I wanted to freeze that moment in my memory but it kept repeating in my head like a song I couldn't shake off or an image I couldn't erase.

With everything going on right now, with my world turned upside down, Althea was the only one I'm sure of and it terrifies me.

It's scary as hell.

As if I'm riding a rollercoaster or climbing a mountain and looking below to check how high I've climbed.

***

The elderly driver glanced at me through the rearview mirror but I ignored him.

It was nice that he didn't engage me in any conversation because I didn't feel like talking.

The radio was playing a slow song, Don't cry out loud by Melissa Manchester.

When the refrain came on, it made me melancholic.

I thought of Althea.

Despite my misgivings about her confessions, I saw the truth in her eyes.

The tears were not orchestrated.

I don't think she's a pathological liar, a psychopath, or a good actress.

She is lovelorn, that much I can say.

I was the reason for her misery and for now, I am clueless on how to help her or myself.

***

The taxi stopped in front of the address I gave the driver.

I looked at the taximeter and gave the man a thousand pesos.

"You can keep the change," I told him when he reached for change.

The driver thanked me and I smiled in return.

My mind was filled with conflicting thoughts as I got out of the taxi and entered our house.

I buzzed the doorbell and the security took a peek before letting me in.

"Ma'am Jade, they're looking all over for you." Bernard, the head security told me as soon as I was inside.

I nodded my head then proceeded to enter the mansion.

Although I am older now, it doesn't stop my family, especially my father from getting his nose on my business.

It irks me to think about it.

But then again, I was the one who insisted on coming back so I could be with Ama.

With the consent comes the intrusion into the decisions I made with my life.

Yaya Nanay relieved when she saw me.

Instantly, I knew that something was wrong.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Yaya told me about DJ and how she was rushed to the hospital.

"Why?"

"What happened?" My heartbeat went on overdrive.

"It could be food poisoning, Jade." She explained.

I rushed to our room and took my purse.

"Be careful," Yaya Nanay told me as I hurriedly walked to the garage.

"Let me drive, Jade." Bernard told me but I brushed him off.

"It's okay," I told him and he didn't argue.

He opened the gate and once I was outside of the mansion, I drove like crazy.

***

The first person I saw at the waiting area was David.

My mother was talking to Paul, with her back turned to me.

Paul saw me and gave me a look that said I'm in trouble.

David approached and like Yaya Nanay, he was also relieved to see me.

"Jade, where have you been?" he asked.

I ignored his question.

"Where's DJ?" I asked him, eager to see my baby.

My mother and Paul approached us.

"Where have you been?" was the same question from my mother.

"We've been calling you but you weren't answering." She added.

"What is going on?" Her face was a mixture of confusion and fear.

I searched my mind for an alibi but couldn't find any.

Paul, sensing that I needed help, told my mother to give me a break for now.

She looked at him, annoyed.

"Ma, she just got here."

"Why don't you let her see DJ first then you can ask her again later."

He ushered her to one of the chairs in the waiting area.

I turned my attention to David.

"Is she alright?" I asked him.

"Yes, Jade." He answered.

"Can I see her?" He nodded his head and led me to the room.

David told me that it could have been the pizza she ate yesterday when they went to the mall.

"The doctor said DJ didn't digest the food that's why she was vomiting and in pain."

He gently touched the small of my back as he opened the door to let me in.

***

DJ was asleep when I entered.

A dextrose tube was attached to her right arm and I slowly walk over to the bed.

She looked peaceful.

Her chest rose steadily while she slept.

The dimples on her cheek showed even when she wasn't smiling.

I kissed her on the forehead but she didn't move.

"She's probably tired," David stood behind me.

I took a deep breath, thankful that DJ was okay and resting.

When I turned around, David's eyes were filled with questions.

He opened his mouth to speak but I stopped him.

"Why don't we talk later?" I told him, my tone stern, concealing the nervousness I felt.

Honestly, I didn't know what to tell him.

I need time to make up a good story.

David nodded in understanding.

"Did you eat?" he asked.

I answered yes.

"Can you leave me alone for a bit?" I asked.

"I just need a moment with DJ," I explained.

He nodded again but before he left, he kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm glad you're here," he said to me.

***

When David left, I stared at DJ who was sleeping peacefully.

The serenity of her existence was a direct contrast to the turmoil I felt in my heart.

"I'm sorry baby," I whispered to the sleeping girl as I lightly squeezed her hand.

"I promised Gab I will take care of you and I would like to think that I did," I paused to check if I was truly alone in the room.

Once I was sure that no one was there, I kept talking.

"There are things that's bothering me booboo and I am afraid," I confessed.

"I don't know what to do or how to deal with the situation," I choked on the last statement.

I felt the sting of the tears rolling down my cheeks and I wiped it with the sleeve of the hoodie I was wearing.

DJ stirred and turned towards the left side of the bed, her tiny hand dangling on the edge.

She didn't wake up.

***

As I continued to watch DJ, I thought of the time David and I tried to have a baby during the early

years of our marriage.

He was devastated when we learned that I couldn't bear any children.

There was a big tumor in my right ovary and it had to be surgically removed to prevent it from

growing.

The situation wasn't surprising to me because I've always had difficult periods when I reached

puberty.

The problem was, I let it go undetected.

I never realized that my negligence would affect me late in life.

DJ moaned and I gently stroked her soft, black hair.

"It's okay baby," I whispered.

"Mommy's here,"

She opened one eye and then closed it again.

A few seconds later, she was back to sleep.

I am at a crossroads on how to handle the revelations from Althea.

I thought of how it would affect my family, especially DJ.

If the things she told me were true, I would like to find out for myself.

There is no one I can talk to so I have to take matters into my own hands.

If I have been living a lie for the past eight years, I need answers.

And then what?

The inner voice resurfaced.

What are you going to do with the answers if you ever find one?

Are you ready to handle the truth Jade?

Are you ready to accept the consequences of your actions?

I took a deep breath.

The truth was, I have on idea.

***

The door opened and I turned around to see my mother coming in.

She looked tired, older.

The lines on her forehead could never be concealed with make up.

She gave me a wan smile.

Although initially upset, her expression was kinder.

"I'm sorry, Ma" I began.

She sat on the brown leather couch opposite the bed.

"Are you going to tell me now where you've been?" she asked.

I walked away from the bed and sat beside her.

"I just went for a walk," I lied.

"A walk?" Her eyebrows arched in disbelief.

"You've been gone the whole day," she exclaimed.

"Did you join a 50 kilometer walk that's why it took you forever to come back?" she retorted.

"We've been calling you but your phone was out of service,"

"What is going on with you?" she sounded exasperated.

"I forgot my phone Ma," I replied and this was the truth.

She sighed, clearly annoyed at my excuses.

Her face hardened and she clenched her jaw.

"Why does this always happen when you're in the country? She blurted.

When she realized what she said, she bit her lower lip.

"Tell me Ma," my tone was challenging.

"What happens when I'm in the Philippines?" I stared at her, unable to hide the fire

slowly building in my veins.

For a moment her face turned pale.

When she regained her composure, she dismissed my question by telling me to ignore that careless

remark.

"I'm just tired Jade," she replied.

"That's why I don't know what I'm saying,"

I wanted to keep pushing her buttons but I know I am setting a trap for myself.

In doing so, it could derail my plans of uncovering the truth.