"So, have you decided?" My mother asks me for the fourth time in one week. "Are you coming, or are you staying?"

I'm sitting outside the Gehry building, just a few steps away from where Daniel encountered me crying just a few months back.

"I don't know." I stare at the screen where my progenitor stares back. "If I go now, I don't think I can afford to go for Christmas. And I definitely don't want to spend Christmas here."

"I can always..."

"No!" I know exactly what is coming next. "You're not paying for me to go either for my birthday or Christmas!"

My mother chuckles. "You will spend it with some of your friends there, right? Daniel?"

Hearing his name makes me dizzy. After the night where he poured a whole spiel in German, I barely laid eyes on him. He left for Berlin two days later, and despite the odd conference call at work, we have been exchanging weird text messages that mostly comprise of polite pleasantries as if we are merely acquaintances.

"I just don't want you to spend your birthday alone." Mom says with a frown.

"It's your birthday?" Marie asks while standing behind me.

"Hi Marie!" My mother waves enthusiastically at Marie. They both have been corresponding through Facebook since Marie has found out that my mom curates art, which includes some of the most prominent Japanese artists which Marie is obsessed with. "Why you didn't tell me that Marie was there?"

I glare at the wintry sun that is blinding me. "Should I give you both a moment?"

Marie sits next to me and flips me the finger while lighting a cigarette and offering me her sunglasses that are on top of her hair. "Today is your birthday?" she repeats the question.

"It's next week!" my mother responds.

"Mom!" I admonish.

"Can you please ensure that she gets out of the house?" she asks Marie, pointedly ignoring me.

Marie exhales the smoke from her mouth, making an enormous bubble. "Naturlich." she responds. "Where do you want to go? Clubbing?"

"I don't want to go anywhere. Can both of you back off?"

"Take her clubbing. She enjoys dancing, or karaoke. She loves karaoke!"

Marie gives me a side glance of disgust. "Ich kann nicht glauben, dass du einer von diesen Karaoke-Leuten bist." (I can't believe you are one of those karaoke people.)

I laugh, although I don't really understand her comment. My phone rings. My face contorts and I decline the call.

"What happened?" My mother asks after being cut off momentarily.

"Sorry mom. I got a call."

"It was the ex." Marie helpfully clarifies.

I give her a stern look, admonishing her candour.

"Harry is calling you?" mom asks me surprised.

"He's been calling me more often now that we broke up than throughout the entire relationship..." I rebut, annoyed.

"Maybe he wants to make amendments..."

"Mom..."

She stays eerily quiet. The same way she knows me by a simple tone of voice over a phone call, I also know when she's hiding something from me when she stares at the oblivion at the oddest times.

"Mom..." I repeat. "What you're not telling me?"

She sighs. "You know I don't keep things from you..."

I frown. "What are you trying to say?"

"Harry has called me..."

My eyebrows raise in response. "When did he call you?" I ask angrily.

"Well... He has been calling me almost every day, really."

"What?" I shout at the phone.

"That's something...." Marie responds.

"I think he's trying to reach you somehow. Maybe you should just listen to what he has to say," my mother responds.

I huff. "Not in the mood for this conversation. Listen, I'll call you later. My break is almost over."

"Okay, but just think about your birthday." Mom looks at Marie. "Marie, please help me with this stubborn girl!" mother screams at the top of her lungs as if Marie is not sitting right next to me.

Marie gives her a thumbs up and a look of relief washes over my mother. I hang up. Thoughts of Harry calling my mother cloud my better judgement.

"I need to meet your mom. She's cool... unlike her daughter. Who on this earth wants to spend their birthday alone?"

I give an unamused look to Marie. My phone buzzes with another of Harry's texts. I sigh, looking at another apologetic message.

"How many times does he call you per day?"

I shrug. "Honestly, can't keep track. Sometimes my battery goes flat with all the calls and text messages."

"You don't seem very bothered about breaking up with him..."

"I'm not?" I raise my voice more than I expected.

"You have been moping around since you've been back and at first I thought it was because of the breakup..."

"I've not been moping," I contest her assumption and turn off the internet on my phone so the phone can stop buzzing every waking second.

Marie exhales a sarcastic chuckle. "Some men are so stupid. Can't see the good thing in front of them..."

I look down at my feet. "I think Harry appreciated me once, it just that we grew apart..."

"I couldn't give a fuck about Harry," she snaps.

"Okay Marie. That's a lot of passive-aggressiveness for someone you never met..."

Marie throws her cigarette to the ground and steps on it to put it out before picking it up again and throwing it in a rubbish bin nearby.

"Why you want to spend your birthday alone?"

I get up and shake the pebbles from my rear. "Not sure."

"I can take you out. We can go out with the other friend you talk about..."

"Emily? Yeah, I guess we could do something. Maybe we can have a drink or something after work?"

"When is your birthday again?"

"The 24th..." I respond. 

Marie quickly opens the calendar app on her phone. "But your birthday is on Saturday. You want to have a drink when?"

"Friday after work?" I say deflated. 

The fact is I'm not in the mood to celebrate anything at all. Is it because of Harry? Maybe. I guess so. It would only make sense this is all an emotional response to our break-up. 

"Your birthday is on Saturday." Marie reiterates.  

"Marie... I know this..." I huff. 

"So, we go out on Saturday. I'll take you to the karaoke."

I snort. "You don't need you to take me to the karaoke." I enunciate, mimicking her accent.

"So, why you don't want to go out?" she insists. "There must be a reason."

"There's no reason." I look down at the ground and start walking back to the building. It is Harry. It must be because of Harry.

"What happened in Munich?"

I stop walking and turn around to look at Marie. "Nothing happened in Munich. What would have happened in Munich?" I repeat and my face flusters at the mention.

"Because you are acting stranger than you usually do since you're back. It's not Harry. So what happened in Munich?"

"Nothing happened..." I utter. 

She knows what I'm denying. It's not about Harry. It's about Daniel and his drunk spiel. 

"Something happened alright." She smirks and walks past me. "You will tell me, eventually. Männer sind blöd." (Men are stupid)

Marie's insistence was not an isolated event. Emily asked me at least ten times why I was so upset about going back to Dusseldorf. She enquired at least thirty times if I was mad at her. I had to do an actual pinky swear to assure her I was not upset with her. Emily was easier to deceive. The German goth is proving a much harder task.

I sit at my desk and stare at my latest assignment. I hate having writer's block. To numb my mind, I count the seconds on the clock. The light on the phone flashes for the umpteenth time. I steal a glance at it and notice a different name on my WhatsApp notification. I open it enthusiastically.

"Hey,"

His greeting lights up my heart.

"Hey" I text back.

I wait eagerly for the three dots.

"How are you, Kleiner?"

His use of my pet name brings a smile to my face.

"I'm good. How are you?" What I actually want to ask is when he will be back, but I don't allow my naughty fingers to play about. Not after the unspoken moment between us in Munich.

"I'm okay," he responds. "Buried in work. Can't wait to get back home."

I sigh. He gave me the opening I wanted. "And when is that?"

Three dots appear, but then they disappear. I wait eagerly for a message. One minute goes by and the three dots don't reappear. I frown. I put the phone on the side and quickly pick it up again. He left the message on read, but the response is absent.

I huff in frustration and go back to my task.

Markus approaches the desk speaking to someone on the phone. He gives me a nod and a small smile. I smile back and steal a last glance at my unresponsive conversation with Daniel.

"Ich bin gerade dabei, das Budget fertigzustellen, Daniel." Markus says. (I'm completing the budget, Daniel)

I lift my eyes at his name. I smile, relieved at the explanation of why Daniel ceased our conversation. With a sense of renewed inspiration, I type away to complete the blog. My phone doesn't taunt me any longer.

Within ten minutes, Markus finishes his conversation with Daniel and I smile and start stealing glances at the device that sits at my desk anxiously. Within a minute, the phone lights up and I pick it up in one fell swoop.

"Sorry. Your boss called me. :)"

I giggle, and Markus lifts his eyes at me.

"I figured :)" I type back.

"She actually smiles. Didn't think I would see that this week." Markus says.

I stop typing, and glance at him, puzzled.

"You've been in a terrible mood for a few days now. Most of us noticed. Even Lukas." he continues. "So whoever in that box got you to light up again, please tell them I really appreciate it."

My cheeks turn red at his comment. "It's no one," I respond and glance at the message and hesitate if I should continue to reply to Daniel or not. 

But Markus has already moved on from his comment and he's back to his business mode. "I'm going to present tomorrow this budget to Lukas and Daniel, and I would like you to be there with me."

I nod and put the phone down. "Is Daniel back?"

Markus doesn't lift his eyes from the computer. "No. He's still in Berlin. He will spend much more time there if all goes according to plan."

I stare at Markus. "He is?"

Markus continues typing away at the computer. I'm always marvelled at his ability to multi-task so well. "It's been in the plans for a long time. Daniel actually was trying to delay it, but Markus told him we need him there to set up our second office. Besides, his girl is there too. It was never the plan for him to be here for long."

My breath catches at his words. His girl. I repeat to myself. Suddenly, I feel like a star being pulled into a black hole that is sucking all light from within.

The phone buzzes. I look at it hesitantly and see another message from Harry. My wounded ego does the speaking for me. I pick up the phone and open all the unread messages he has been leaving for me. Strings of love declamation and regret.

I fire a quick text message in response. "At work. Will you call you later."

His response comes within seconds. "I'll wait."

I stare at another text message that pops on my screen.

"I miss you, Kleiner."

My heart aches and with a prolonged hesitation I mute Daniel on WhatsApp and leave him on unread while my brain repeats the damned words. His girl.