The morning, after you made an absolute fool of yourself, is always a joy to everyone else that experienced your fall from grace. And George is basking in full glory at my drunkest night ever. 

I wake up in the middle of the afternoon with a throbbing headache and a detailed memory of what happened the night before. I groan at my pillow loudly. Why can't I get a brain that blacks out awkward memories with excessive alcohol consumption? 

I hear a merry whistle outside and I know it's George. A very sober George... the worst kind there is. I push myself to leave the comfort of the bed and trudge slowly to the bathroom to immerse myself in cold water. 

The feeling of the water on my body helps with the headache, but doesn't do much to ease the frail condition of my heart. Tears run down my cheeks with memories of words I exchanged with Daniel. I wanted closure. I got it now. Although no one told me, it would hurt like a bitch. 

I get out of the shower and change into some fresh clothes. I walk towards the kitchen and see George sitting down on his phone. In front of him is a mug with black coffee and a pastry. Not any pastry. A blueberry muffin. 

I sit down and gulp the coffee. George continues typing on his phone, ignoring me completely. I'm not sure if he's peeved off with me or just his indifferent self. I look at the muffin and peck on it. It feels that with each small bite I take, I'm relieving a different life. I'm tired of living in the past. I sigh. I guess louder that I intended seen as George stops typing and stares at me. 

His face is dead serious. He is definitely angry. Angry sober George. Now that's a combination that I've never expected to see. 

He stares at me for the longest of time. Not saying a word. Barely moving a muscle. 

I finally crack. "I'm sorry..." I say like a child apologising to her parent. 

"Sorry? How stupid were you last night? Do you know how much you drank? How worried I was? I couldn't wake you up in the fucking car when we arrived. I almost rushed you to the hospital!"

I look down at my muffin. I can't believe George of all people is telling me off. Shit, this means it was that bad...

"I'm really sorry..." I repeat with contrition. 

George gets up and runs his hands over his head. I can see the frustration pouring out of him. "You fucking scared me. Please don't do that ever again. Everyone is freaking out..."

I raise my eyes from the plate. "What do you mean everyone?"

"When I couldn't wake you up yesterday I had to call Emily. I had no idea what to do. She came here with Gunther..."

"Oh, fuck!" I get up. I didn't want to ruin Emily's night. Not Emily... "I'm really sorry. I was an ass. Shit!" I look around for my phone. "Where is my phone?"

"In your room. We left it there." 

"Let me just give her a call..." I look at George and run to him. I squeeze him as hard as I can. "I'm so so so sorry. Please forgive me..." 

George pats me and gives me a soft kiss on my head. "Always. Who else will put up with me? Just... please don't drink yourself stupid like that ever again?"

"Noted," I respond. 

"After all you are the responsible kid in this weird family dynamic we have got going between us..."

I smirk and give him another tight hug before going back to my room to retrieve my phone. I notice it immediately as soon as I enter the bedroom. I pick it up and sit on my bed and unlock the device. 

The string of calls and messages alarm me. I see calls from Emily and Marie with concerned messages. I see some messages from my mom too but these are more general which makes me feel relieved she has no clue about my stupidity. 

I scroll for Emily to give her a call first. Outside I can hear the doorbell ringing. 

"I'll get it!" George announces. 

I look at my messages again and notice Daniel's name. I open his contact and notice that some messages were typed on What's App but have been deleted. I sigh and look down at my sheets. It's for the best, right? 

Marie's voice interrupts my thoughts. She enters the room without knocking and stares me down. 

"What are you doing?" Her German accent accentuating the w like a v. 

"Hey... I was going to call Emily..." I respond. "You know to apologise..."

Marie dismisses me with a waft of the hand. "No need for that. It was a party. We all had a bit too much fun. Just send her a text saying you are alive so she's not panicking about it all the way back to New Zealand." She walks around the bed and over to the curtains and opens them up. "The Idioten over there tells me you had something to eat?"

I nod and look back at the phone. I should be thinking about texting my friend but instead I'm thinking about the deleted messages. 

"And, you're feeling reasonably human?" Marie continues her inquisition. 

I nod again with my eyes glued to the screen. 

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure..." I respond with my fingers typing rapidly a message to Emily with a long string of apologies. 

"I heard what you said..."

I look up at her and frown. What I said?

"I wasn't eavesdropping. I promise. I was going to the bathroom and heard loud voices... You were tearing Daniel a new one..."

I slump on the bed with my face down and grunt. "If only earth could open now and swallow me whole..."

I can feel Marie's weight on the bed. "Don't be over dramatic..." She pats me amicably on the back. 

"I made such a fool of myself. To Emily and Gunther. To you. To him..." I release a guttural scream. "Ich bin so ein Idiot!" (I'm such an idiot!)

Marie chuckles. "More than he did back in Munich?"

I look at her sideways with my hair covering my most of my face. What on earth is she talking about?

Marie smirks. "You don't know?"

I shake my head in response. 

"In Munich when you guys were there. Daniel was with you and Gunther in one of the Oktoberfest parties, ja?"

"Yes..."

"Well he got so drunk that kept screaming your name and telling everyone that passed by he was in love... Apparently made a scene at the hotel that got even Lukas involved..." Marie chuckles. "I wish I was there or at least that stupid Gunther had taped it... He even told me he caught him doing a whole love declaration to you in German..."

I open my eyes and get up. Is that what he was saying? I mean today I would be able to understand him but memory has a funny way of working. Can't retrofit language understanding on conversations held so many months back.

Marie gives me a small pat on my hand. "I thought you knew. That's what precipitated the whole birthday party, you need to tell her how you feel, affair." 

I slump. I'm not sure what is the purpose of this disclosure but it's not making me feel better about last night events or make me move on from Daniel. Maybe that's the point. With Marie you never know. 

"I'm just saying you don't have to feel bad. We all do stupid things once in a while and yours was fully deserved." 

"Hey, I'm ready."

I lift my eyes to George and look at him sideways. Ready for what? 

"One minute..." Marie responds. 

I open my eyes when I realise it's not for me. 

"Are you two going out on a date?"

"Yes!" George says enthusiastically. I've never seen him so happy before. 

"Nein!" Marie admonishes him. "We are all going out. As friends..." She glares at him. 

"I'll win her over..." George smirks and makes me chuckle. 

"We would invite you but I think you need to fully recover from last night. Besides the wedding is in a few days..."

"Yeah, I think is best if I stay put. Besides, don't want to run into Daniel until the wedding to be honest. Could not take the shame..."

George huffs. "Face the music, player!" He gives me a sideway glance. 

I raise my middle finger in response. 

"I think is best if you stay for today," Marie intervenes. "But, do go out and get some fresh air."

George takes a piece of paper and looks at it intently. "There's this exhibition I saw this morning close by. You should check it out."

Marie gives him a frown. 

"She loves art stuff. Drags me to her mother's events all the time..."

"You stuff your face with free canapes and booze and now you're complaining?" I defend myself.

He puts his hands inside his pockets and shrugs. "I'm just saying you might like it and the warden here thinks is a good idea if you get some fresh air, sunshine."

I groan and slump in bed again. "Can you just take him away from here, please?" I mumble on my pillow. 

Marie chuckles. "My pleasure. Let's go, Idioten."

George shuffles his feet on the wooden floor. "I've left it on your bedside table in case you change your mind." 

I raise my hand in acknowledgment but honestly I couldn't care less about an art show. 

I hear the click of the door and take cover beneath my duvet. Marie's words still ringing in my ears. My head hurts. My heart aches. My stomach roars. 

"Can everyone just leave me alone!" I scream. 

And by everyone. I really mean my inward scarecrow, tin man and lion that can't seem to leave me in peace.