The Rhine Tower is a spectacular edifice, that stands on its own, near the walking bridge. It's a marvel to look at, all 168 meters of it. We take the elevator that leads us to the bar M168. The view is breathtaking.

"Wow." I'm speechless when I walk close to the window and take in the view.

"I thought you would like to see this. It's pretty amazing."

I turn to Daniel, astonished. "This is a beautiful view."

"Just wait until it's night. It's even better. Ich verspreche es."

I glance at him inquisitively.

"I promise," he repeats in English.

Daniel leads me to the inside of the pub and walks towards a table with two other men, one that looked slightly older that Daniel, with black hair and bushy black beard to match, while the other sported platinum blonde hair and blue eyes, but was significantly shorter than his companion. 

Daniel greets them. "Guten Abend Jungs." (Good evening boys)

 "Daniel!" They return an over enthusiastic cheer until their eyes land on me. They eye Daniel curiously. 

"Sie ist eine Freundin aus England, die sechs Monate hier bleibt." (She's a friend from England that is staying for six months)

They smile at me politely. 

"Und sie spricht kein Wort Deutsch, also musst du heute Abend dein Englisch polieren." Daniel continues. (And she doesn't speak a word of German, so you'll have to polish your English tonight)

The dark-haired man looks at me with interest. "Wie heißt sie?" (What's her name?)

"Natalie."

He gets up and stretches his right hand to me. "Pleasure to meet you, Natalie. I'm Gunther."

I shake his hand and smile. "Pleasure to meet you."

The blonde man also gets up. "I'm Jonas, please join us."

I smile and sit down. Daniel takes his bag and places in the seat next to mine. 

"What do you want to drink?" he asks.

"I should be the one asking you this. Let me buy you something." I ask rising from my seat.

Daniel pushes me back to my seat softly. "You can get the next round. Do you like beer?"

I nod.

"Okay, großartig." (Great)

He looks at the two men. "Bier?"

Gunther shuffles in his seat. "Ja, natürlich."

Daniel heads to the bar, leaving me with Gunther and Jonas.

"So, how do you know Daniel?" Jonas enquires almost immediately. "Sorry for asking, but we've known him all our life, and we never heard of a friend from England until this very moment."

He called me his friend?

"We work together. I just joined his company. I'm doing an internship and he was kind enough to help me get a place to live, and he is helping with my German, too."

The men exchange a knowing glance and swallow the remaining of their beers. Daniel brings two of the beers and places one in front of me. I gasp at the size of the glass and the amount of beer inside.

"This is massive."

Gunther laughs. "You English don't drink this much?"

I shake my head. "Maybe the Scots, but definitely not me. I can barely handle a pint."

Jonas frowns. "Pint?"

I hesitate and take my phone to google the quantity of a pint. "One pint is 568 millimetres."

Daniel brings the other two glasses and hands it to Jonas and sits with the other. "That's small. This is the Maß, it's one litre." He says, amused.

I hold my phone to take a picture and the men laugh.

"I might not get back home tonight after one litre of this." I say jokingly to Daniel.

"Kein Problem," He smiles. "I'll make sure you get home! To new friends, prost!" And lifts his mug, followed by Gunther and Jonas.

I also follow suit and echo, "Prost!" and take a sip.

The sweet, bitter taste of the beer hits me immediately, and I realise that if I don't use the restroom now, this will be interesting later on. I get up and make my way to the restroom, and check the amazing view once again and click some photographs. Five days I've been in a foreign country, and I have clicked no photograph or really enjoyed myself. I sigh and think how I really need to learn not to be so uptight.

My phone buzzes and I light up to see the name flashing on the screen. 

"How is Cologne?" I ask. 

The cheery voice on the other side responds. "Honestly, a drag. It's too quiet around here. Dusseldorf is better."

I laugh. I miss my early days companion.

"Which is why I'm spending my Friday evening in town. Was hoping you a) have found a place to live, b) that it's close enough to town, and c) that you're still around so we can see one another."

I look at my feet and cheerily reply. "Well, to answer your questions. I have found a place. It's 30 minutes away from Dusseldorf, and I'm in the Rhine Tower with Daniel and some of his friends having a drink. How far away are you?"

She squealed in delight. "Daniel? The sexy hunk of a man that is, oh no, your boss? That Daniel?"

I laugh at her cringe description. "It's not like that."

"The hell it ain't. Doesn't matter. I'll be there in 10."

I hang up and decide to hang around near the entrance, so I don't miss Emily. In the few days we hung out together, I gather she will definitely be a contender to the boys and the Maß. While waiting for her arrival, I take my time to look at the sights, take some selfies with the background and write this wonderful feeling of newly discovered freedom in my priceless notebook.

It takes Emily 12 minutes and her squeal once she steps outside the lift, awakes the room full of conservative Germans that cast her side glances. She embraces me as if we haven't seen each other in over a year and we make our way to the table. When we approach the table, the three men are engrossed in a conversation. Gunther and Jonas seem to interrogate Daniel about something.

"Was ist mit Ada?" (What about Ada?)

Daniel seems upset with the question. "Was ist mit ihr?" (What about her?)

Jonas spots me returning and gently signals to the other two men. "We thought we lost you."

Daniel stares at me for a split second before realising I bring company. 

"Emily, you remember Daniel."

Emily smiles broadly and shakes Daniel's hand. "Of course I do."

I turn my attention to the other two men. "And this is Gunther and Jonas. Emily is in Dusseldorf for a few hours."

Gunther nods and Jonas gets up to allow Emily to sit next to me, while pulling another chair for himself. 

"The more the merrier. So, how do you know each other?" Jonas asks.

Emily comes closer to the table. "We are former lovers, turned friends."

I open my eyes in shock and Emily laughs out loud.

"Em!" I scold her.

She beams and glances at the mug of beer on the table and gets up. "I don't know what that is, but it looks great."

Gunther laughs and also gets up. "Let's get you one and a refill for everyone else."

Daniel drinks the remaining of his beer, unsettlingly quietly.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

He nods but avoids looking at me. I sip on my beer while Jonas rambles about a stain in his suit. My ears are with him but my eyes wonder to a now distant Daniel.

When Gunther and Emily return with the beers, I sigh in relief. I'm feeling uncomfortable with the sudden mood shift from Daniel.

"So, where are you from, Emily?" Jonas asks.

She shifts in her seat to reach for a fry. "You guys have the best fries. After the Brits." 

I chuckle. 

"I'm a Kiwi."

Gunther roars in delight. "I love New Zealand!"

Emily takes a few more fries and munches on them.

"How did you two meet again?" Daniel enquires, finally breaking his silence.

"We met here. Emily was in the same hostel as me and had my back when I needed the most."

She smiles and gives me a side hug. "Honestly, she is awesome. A bit uptight but still cool. Even if she doesn't want to accept we are former lovers."

I chuckle at the old joke and elbow her slightly on her right arm.

"So, do you ladies have a boyfriend back home?" Jonas asks.

I'm taken aback by the candid question. I steal a glance at Daniel that looks at me with an almost expectant look.

"Yes, I do." I respond softly. 

Jonas raises his eyebrows, but Emily stays silent. 

"Why do you ask?" I ask Gunther. 

Gunther takes a sip of his beer before responding to me. "I was just wondering if any of you were available to go out on a date." He eyes Emily, that is still silently devouring her fries. "Clearly you're not."

I smile awkwardly. "Well, I can't speak for Em here."

She raises her eyes at us with a hint of deviousness. "I don't date. I only fuck. Easier that way."

Jonas coughs awkwardly and sputters his beer all over his suit. "Scheisse!"

Daniel smiles awkwardly at Jonas' uneasy response to Emily's candid response. "He's a fucking idiot. Forgive us."

"That's ok, kein Problem." I say.

Emily stares at me and Daniel for a split second. "What about you guys? It's only fair we get to ask next," she probes.

Gunther laughs out loud. He is clearly infatuated with Emily. "I'm single, but Jonas and Daniel here are taken, been dating each other for years now."

I stare at both of them in surprise.

"Arschgeige." Daniel spits. (Asswipe) "He's joking. We're obviously not in a relationship." Daniel doesn't dare to look at me and circles with his hand on the Maß handle.

Jonas smiles mischievously. "Are you saying I'm not good enough for you?" and throws him a kiss.

"Nicht du auch." (Not you too)

Emily and I laugh amusedly at the exchange. 

Jonas sips his beer. "I have recently gained a significant other. If you come next week, he will be here."

I smile. Jonas feels like someone I could relate. Much calmer than Gunther's loud personality, that seems in perfect sync with Emily's own grand persona.

"But Daniel here is another story." Jonas says, while sipping his beer. "He has been in a doomed relationship for the last ten years."

Daniel's face disapproves of the remark.

"But he is the only one that still can't see it."

Daniel gets up abruptly. "Ich bekomme noch eine Runde." And heads to the bar. (I'm getting another round)

The table stays still with his outburst. Even not understanding a word of what he said. I could feel his anger directed at his friend.

"Maybe we should check on him?" I enquire after a moment of silence.

"I'll go." Jonas gets up and walks towards the bar.

Gunther drinks the rest of his beer and stares at me amusedly.

"What?" I ask, feeling the alcohol in my system breaking down my inhibitions.

"How long are you here for?"

I don't understand why is he so curious about me.

"Six months."

Gunther nods and rubs his beard, but keeps silent.

"Why?"

He smiles. "Nothing." He then turns his attention to Emily. "Where are you staying, Kiwi?"

Emily has a glint of mischief in her eyes. She is as interested in Gunther as he is on her. "I'm staying in Cologne for now. Talking about that, when is the last train back?"

He takes his phone and checks it. "00.35, we'll get you there so you don't miss your train or you can always stay with one of us."

She rests her head on her left hand and stares intently at Gunther's eyes. "Why don't you give me your number and maybe while I'm still around, I can stay at yours? But tonight I'm here with my girlfriend, and I'll be heading to Cologne after this."

My mouth hangs open. I'm starting to look up to this girl. Her assertiveness, her fire sure certainty about life and her easygoing attitude. She is everything I wish I could be. Gunther smiles at the proposition and holds his hand out for her phone, which is promptly given.

Daniel and Jonas get back with another round of beers. Their earlier riff seems forgotten or at least forgiven, when they share candid smiles while chatting.

Daniel places another Maß in front of me.

"I won't be able to finish this. I barely finished this one." And point at the empty mug in front of me.

Daniel leans to me and whispers, "Drink slowly. I ordered some food too."

He is warmer again to me.

The hours pass by and night creeps in, with several rounds of large Maß for the men and Emily, and two for me, along with some water. By the end of the night, I barely can stand on my own.

Emily glances at her watch. "Time to get the Chu Chu back to snoreville. Hey, Porter you good?"

I nod and try to get up, but lose my balance. Daniel quickly catches me and holds me in his arms.

"Hey, do you want to come with me? You can stay over at my hostel tonight." Emily volunteers.

"She'll be fine. I'll make sure she gets home safe." Daniel says protectively.

Emily stares at Daniel for a beat, but turns to me again. "Is that okay? You trust him?"

I smile at my friend and hug her. "I trust him very much, and I trust you!"

Emily rolls her eyes. "Oh boy. How you getting home?"

"We're also getting the train back to Meerbusch. Opposite platform from yours."

Emily nods and gathers both hers and my stuff.

"I'm fine," I slur.

"Right... Let's get the last train and get you home."

Gunther gets up. "Willst du eine Autofahrt nach Hause?" (Do you want a ride home?)

Daniel shakes his head. "We'll be fine. Right, Kleiner?"

I nod in return. Emily stares at me and Daniel for a moment and chuckles. I join her in my drunken stupor.

"Why are we laughing?" I ask in between an intoxicated fit of giggles.

"Nothing... Kleiner..." She eyes Daniel amusedly. "Now say goodnight to the two friendly lads."

"Tschüss." I say over enthusiastically and Jonas chuckles and waves me goodbye.

Slowly, we make our way to the train station. The air outside awakens my senses a bit. Daniel supports me with his right arm and Emily walks beside me on my left.

"Will you be okay going by yourself to Cologne?" Daniel asks.

Emily snickers. "I'll be fine. Just take care of this one."

We enter a tunnel, and suddenly the light goes from bright white to a shifting rainbow. I stop and wonder for a moment if I'm drugged.

"It's just some kids doing an improvised party. It's quite common." Daniel says.

I laugh and start dancing to some techno beat and pull Emily, that dances along with me while Daniel looks over us protectively.

"Kleiner, it's time for us to go. If we miss this train, we are stuck in Dusseldorf for the night."

I nod and embrace tightly Emily. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Nice to see you out of your shell, even if its means this only happens with some alcohol in your system," she whispers. 

I snicker, and Daniel pulls me away so we can make way to our platform. Once we reach upstairs, Daniel gets me a bottle of water while I wave enthusiastically to Emily while she boards her train.

Our train arrives exactly at 00:23 and we board the train. Daniel makes me drink the water. I feel the buzz of the alcohol in my bloodstream and I stare at the train occupants.

"You are a lightweight," he chimes. "Next time, only one."

I chuckle and lean my head on his shoulder. "Only one next time," I repeat.

"Hey, don't fall asleep or I won't be able to carry you home."

I sigh and nod. "No sleeping. Talk to me."

I feel his shoulder vibrate with his laughter. "Don't you think we've done enough of that tonight?"

My eyes are so heavy.

"Nat, are you listening?"

I blink once trying to fight my eyelids that keep resisting me in staying open. "No one ever calls me Nat."

He gently removes my hair from my face. "You don't like?"

I hum. "I do. Just no one calls me that, except my mom and now you. Keep calling me Nat."

The train takes off. I can hear the soft rumble of the engine pulling us away.

"We'll be home in half an hour. Just stay awake."

I hum, but my eyes are stubborn and want to remain shut. "Daniel?"

"Ja?" he answers mechanically.

His hands are crossed on his legs as if he is restraining himself from doing something.

"Do you really have someone?"

He takes a deep breath. "Ja, a girlfriend back in Berlin. Her name is Ada."

"Is she angry that we're hanging out?"

He rubs his chin and returns his hand to the initial position. "Of course not. Is yours?"

"I haven't spoken with him since Wednesday and before that since the week before I left here. He doesn't know about you."

"I'm sorry to hear that." His hands rub one against the other. "Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. I like to keep you as my secret."

"What's so secretive about me?"

I hum softly. The sandman is winning the battle.

"Nat?"

I snuggle next to him, "I wish you didn't have a girlfriend." I say before blacking out.