Doors of the carriage opened to show me beautiful Yildiz Palace. Palace my father gave to build, but didn't have a many time to spend there.Residance of Ottoman Dynasty. Place where Sultan held his politic meetings and place where he lived with his family, Harem.

Palace where I was supposed to live, but never had ability to be there, because since my birth I was unfortunate.

My name is Melike Turhan Sultan. Daughter of Sultan Abdulaziz and his consort Raziye Fatma Sultan. Melike meaning queen or angel, and Turhan meaning of mercy.

I was born on 19th December, excatly six months and fifteen days after my father died. I never had oportunity to meet my father. I never even knew how he looked alike, only thing I had from him was a photo of him, and necklace he gifted my mother with when she became pregnant.

My mother Raziye Fatma Sultan was of Caucasian origin. She was sent to Palace and she was sixth wife of my father. She gave birth to a son, named Mustafa three years before I was born. Unfortunatley, my brother Mustafa died when he was only one year old due to health problems. My mother lost hope in everything, and two years later she became pregnant, with me.

Everything seemed perfect, but when she was in her second month of pregnancy, they dethroned my father and he died very soon. My mother was banished from Dolmabache Palace and she was sent to live in Çigran Palace.

She gave birth to me on that cold December night, being all alone, without anyone loved next to her.

My mother knew that in Çigran I would have no peace, because at that time my father's cousin get to the throne, and only three months later he was dethroned. He was locked in Çigran Palace where whoever goes away from, could never return again. At that time, Sultan Murad's brother and my father's cousin Abdulhamid ascended the Ottoman Throne.

I would always remember the words I heard: If you leave Çigran palace, you will never be able to return there.

In my young age, only persons I remember were Hatice and Fehime Sultan, daughters of Sultan Murad who was together with us in Çigran Palace after he was dethroned.

I never saw my mother happy, always I would see only tears on her face. As I was young, I never understood why couldn't my mother be happy even for a moment. When I was six years old, she sent me on education in Paris. She sent me with my nanny Gülbahar and Sultan gave me a lot of maids to take care of me.

Twelve years I have been living in Paris. Fourteen years only communication with my family I had with my cousin, Seniha Sultan. Fourteen years I haven't seen my mother.

Until I was 12 years old, my mother would usually send me letters to check how I am. But after that, she stopped writing me. She didn't send me even a word in those six years.

Gulbahar nanny told me my mother fell in deep depression and she had no will for life. I couldn’t believe my mother who was only one to me wouldn't send me even a word. I couldn’t believe how she could do this to her only child, making her feel like she is orphan.

I felt like a orphan for almost six years. I had no father, and my mother didn't even care about my existance. I tried to give all of myself to understand my mother and her pain after the death of my father, but none reason to abandon your child like this is suitable. None mother could do something like this.

Only for one time I saw someone from my family, from Ottoman Dnyasty. That was my cousin Seniha Sultan, but I prefered to call her aunt, since her son was my age, not her. She visited me in Paris three years ago, and she begged me to return in Istanbul with her, but I didn't want to. I wanted to continue my education in Paris. I had no will or hope to return somewhere where I would also have no one.

But everything changed in my life this year, I ended my education in Paris and Sultan Abdulhamid Khan invited me to return to Istanbul. He wanted me to be there, as we were all one family. After lot of thinking, I finally agreed. I knew I actually had to return to Istanbul, because I couldn't be anymore in Paris all alone. It was place to gather education, but an Ottoman Sultana couldn't live there alone for no reason anymore.

I will return to Istanbul, I will return to place which was supposed to be my home.

" Melike Turhan Sultan, I am so glad to see you. From now on this is your home as it should have been. We are one family and you should feel free here. I hope you will be happy here and find your peace." my cousin Sultan Abdulhamid said when I entered the Yildiz Palace. Sultan awaited for me with a smile, together with his whole family.

"I am glad to be here, Your Majesty." I said as I kissed his hand in front of everyone. Even though he was my cousin I had huge respect for him because he was the age of my father not mine. All of my cousins were the age of my parents and it was all because I was born even after the death of my father.

"My dear Turhan, I can't explain how happy I am to have you here. My heart is full now when you are here with us as you should be." Seniha Sultan said and hugged me. Out of all people, I was happiest to see her here. She was the only one who cared for me for real. She was the only one who came to Paris to see me at least. She was the one who paided for my education and made me this way I am.

" Turhan, this is my family. Those are my wives Bidar Sultan and Fatma Pesend Sultan." Sultan Abdulhamid said as he showed to me two women. Bidar was the elder one, while Fatma Pesend was young and she was pregnant at the moment.

" This is my son, Şehzade Abdulkadir." Sultan said and showed me young boy who was my age. I bowed to him a bit but only thing I could see is him smiling to me for the whole time.

"This is my daughter, Naime Sultan, and those two you already know, Sultan Murad's daughters Hatice and Fehime." Sultan said and I couldn't help but have a warm smile to Hatice and Fehime.

" Sultana, I am so happy to meet you. First thing I saw is your fashion style, I love it a lot." Naime said measuring me with a smile. It was obvious my fashion style was really different from their, as I used to live in Paris where another traditions were.

"Paris had a lot of influence on Turhan Sultan, you can see in newspapers and magasines those styles." Şehzade Abdulkadir said while smiling to me for a whole time, which made me feel bit embarassed, as I think everyone saw it.

"If you like it, Naime Sultana, I can help you find some like these. But I love your style even more." I said trying to make her feel nice as she was really beautiful young Sultana. Naime, Hatice, Fehime, Abdulkadir and I were all the same age. It made me glad I will finally have opportunity to have someone my age here, as my only friend during these years was my nanny Gulbahar.

"Sultan, if you would allow it, I would like to guest Turhan Sultan in my Palace first. I haven't seen her for years, and I have so many things to talk with her about, and I don't want to bother you here in Harem." Seniha Sultan said with a smile to Sultan, but I could see Bidar Sultan is rolling her eyes.

" We can prepare you chambers here so you can be closer to Turhan Sultan." Bidar said and I could see at the first moment there was some kind of rivality between them.

"You can guest her in your palace, Seniha." Abdulhamid said and made both Seniha and me happy about his decision.

"But before that I organised a feast in harem where we could meet each other more. I really want to know more about you since I heard a lot about you," Bidar Kadin said and smiled as Abdulhamid approved her decision. In Paris I've heard a lot of things, since I wasn't the only member of our dynasty being there for the education. I knew Seniha and Bidar didn't like each other, and for sure I wanted to find out why don't they like each other.

Sultan and Abdulkadir left leaving only us women in harem. We all went to the main room which was very elegant and beautiful. There was big sofa where Bidar sat as the queen and all of us others joined her there. Seniha looked at me few times and I knew she was making sure how would I behave to Bidar, but since I didn't know Bidar I didn't want to judge her before I find out what is it.

"I am so happy someone our age will be here now. There is four of us Sultanas now and I know we will have really fun time," Naime Sultan said and Fehime smiled to her same as I did, but I saw Hatice putting some fake smile on her face. Sometimes I hated how I would see every detail in people.

"That would be better if Turhan would stay with us here in palace so you girls could grew closer," Bidar said and Seniha sighed immediately and I knew she didn't want Bidar to persuade me to stay there. But no matter what I knew I would prefer to stay at Seniha's because she was close to me as no one else in this whole family and my whole life.

"I know that would be good, but I am sure I will be good at Seniha Sultan's place," I said knowing how Seniha was feeling more relaxed about my answer.

"Ah, you girls need to enjoy your young age as you don't have many more time. Seniha and I at your age already gave birth to our first children, right Seniha?" Bidar asked Seniha who obviously couldn't stand her so much but everyone pretended to be well in front of me since I was the new one here.

"Turhan, come with me I want to show you around the Palace," Naime said and I followed her as I knew this would be better than to listen here Bidar trying to act like queen because she was the main one in harem.

We went through the whole Palace which was so beautiful and I really thought how my life would be different if they haven't assassinated my father. He would be still alive today and we would live like a happy family and I would get to know him.

Naime saw I wasn't feeling well so we went into the gardens which were so beautiful and made me relax so much. Scents of flowers could be felt everywhere and Naime showed me to go with her on the Sultana's tent which was placed in the middle of the gardens. What surprised me here was that men also crossed here where women would go, because how my nanny Gulbahar has said to me, while she was in Harem this wasn't allowed to happen. But I knew modern times bring more open things.

"This is the place I like to spend time, it makes me relaxed so much. I can't stand when there is some drama in harem, and previously there was a lot of it, so I enjoy here," Naime said and I knew she was so good in her heart and she had nothing bad in herself.

"I was used on peace while I was in Paris, but sometimes I wish I lived here with my family not being all alone in Paris," I said. I hated saying my problems to other people but I didn't know her well yet and none serious topic could force me to talk with anyone, because I didn't believe no one.

"Who is that man?" I asked her as I saw a man, who was actually good-looking, looking at us for the whole time and it made me feel really awkward.

"Oh, this is Kemalettin Pasha. Why do you ask?" She asked me as I heard some kind of nervous into her voice when I mentioned him.

"Nothing, he just keeps staring at us so I wondered," I said and looked back at her.

"Do you think he is beautiful?" She asked me as I saw she couldn't stop looking at him and her pupils of the eyes widened when she looked at him.

"I don't have an opinion on him, but I see you have," I smiled to her as I knew she might like him but this only made her ashamed in front of me.

"Turhan, no, I didn't mean it like that," she said but her face was turning little bit of red and it was so cute how she was trying to hide that.

"Your secret is safe with me, don't worry," I smiled to her before we left the gardens as I should meet with Seniha since I would move into her palace for some time.