Jim's a Greedy Dirt Bag!

(This is going to be stupid, probs short, and honestly I paused all my wips, that will be MUCH longer than this, just to write Turg Fanfiction, I paused my wwe fanfics for this, ....For T u r g, so naturally it'd be worth it, this isnt going to be like spectacular or anything tbh, its just short and maybe even for practice but either way I hope y'all enjoy... this.)

Turg looked up at the building and tilted his head "Turg in right place?" Jim came up beside him and looked at the building as well, a grin spread across his face "Yes Turg, yes we are! Now remember, here's the deal... You get in there, do all the work for me and win the mon... er... Green paper... And then I promise you'll get the jelly or whatever it was you wanted" Turg suddenly had a goofy smile on his face "Turg win! Turg want jelly!!" He exclaimed, running into the building, Jim chuckling and then quickly sprinting after him, so far so good, hopefully Turg could remember the plan just long enough to win him the money prize.

Turg had headed backstage and one of the employees walked towards him "There you are! You were almost late! And... Oh good lord, you are even more terrifying than I thought..." They sighed and just began walking off "I don't get paid enough for this..." They muttered, meanwhile Turg was just idling in his spot, he didn't really understand what they said but either way, he was more so fixated on the jelly... Jim wanted the green paper stuff and then he'd give Turg some jelly! Speak of the Devil, Jim had appeared behind Turg and placed a hand on his shoulder "Now, just remember the plan... You got this Turg!" Turg had a dopey smile plastered on his face "Believe in Turg?" Jim rolled his eyes, but he put on a smile and nodded "Yeah yeah sure, whatever, now get out there and win me the green paper!"

Turg nodded and before he headed onto the stage, Jim had placed an earpiece in Turg's ear, he had explained this part to Turg who seemed to understand the very basic hopefully, it was just a little... Insurance policy, he of course didn't mention the whole... Cheating part to Turg, otherwise then the other wouldn't have agreed to wear it more than likely, and of course Jim had made the earpiece himself so it was small enough so the host wouldn't see it... Well unless the host got very close and just looked directly at Turg's ear... But it was unlikely they'd do anything like that! And besides, he was going to make one hundred percent sure that he was NOT going to get caught, he needed that money and he'd do anything to get it!

Turg then headed out, waving at all the audience members who gasped in horror at first but then they slowly began clapping, they... They really didn't... Know what to think of this man, er... Monster? Whatever it was coming onto the stage, even the host of the show looked a little... Nervous, they began whispering something into the ear piece, just sighing afterwards and then looking back at Turg and smiling "Hello hello hello! Welcome Contestant Number One! May we have your name please?" Turg walked behind the little table in front of him and looked at the host, still having the dopey smile spread across his face, it seemed like he didn't even really know what was going on "Turg!" The host looked even more confused than they already were "Erm... Is Turg your name?" The other nodded "Turg Turg!" The host didn't want to know, they didn't care about asking, they'd just roll with it "Well uh... Welcome Turg Turg!" The host then moved to the other contestant Turg would be competing against "Annnd Contestant Number Twooo, what's your name?"

"Peyton!" (listen, they dont need a last name its fine and if thats your name by any chance reader, well, im very sorry to put you in this nightmare asjdfklsjhdfksla) The host grinned "Welcome Peyton! Alright audience, now that we've gotten acquainted with our contestants now we can begin the game! Noooww... The rules are simple! Very simple! We'll have fifteen questions, whoever buzzes in and guesses the correct answer wins a point! The person with the most points by the end of things will be the winner! And of course, the prize will be One-Hundred Thooouussaannd Dolllllaaaarrrssss~! Or, if the winner is feeling PARTICULARLY lucky, they will be given a bonus round where they can win even more money! In fact, they'll be winning Four-Hundred Thousand~!" The host glanced at Turg and looked towards the audience "Although... If I could, I'd just pay t h a t thing whatever it wanted just to get out of the building!"

(Jim's not gonna care much bout the host insulting Turg now if it were him o h b o y- hahaha n o- but in this case like always- he wants money, who cares bout Turg)

Turg still had the smile on his face, as he heard the audience laugh he clapped even though they were technically making fun him, and then the music had cue'd, the host looked down at their paper "Alright! First Question~!" There was a pause before they continued "Can you name the THIRD largest freshwater lake in the world?" Turg had buzzed in, he honestly just pushed the button because it was glowing red, the voice in his ear piece had whispered the answer to him and surprisingly Turg understood "Turg says... Lake... Superior?" The host was surprisingly shocked and so was the other contestant and the audience, there was a dinging noise as the host spoke "Th...That is... Correct...! One point goes to a Mr. Turg Turg~! Wow... You are smarter than you look! And you look... Unholy... Eugh..." Turg just smiled and clapped "Turg do good!" The host nodded "Uh riiight... Anyways, next question! What is someone who shoes horses called?" Turg had managed to buzz in again before Peyton could, maybe it was because Peyton was still stunned at the other's intelligence.

Once again, the voice whispered the answer into Turg's earpiece "Turg think it... Farrier?" A shocked gasp resonated within the building, he was actually getting these correct... The host blinked in surprise "That is... Also... Correct, another point awarded to Turg, bringing him to a total of two~! C'mon Peyton! You should step up your gaaame~!" Peyton nodded, this time they'd buzz in, they were going to be prepared and focused...! "Third Question~! What kind of weapon is a falchion?" This time... Peyton had managed to buzz in "A Sword!" The host grinned and uttered out a correct and the audience and even Turg cheered despite them being correct meant they were one step closer to catching up, Jim was a little bit upset at that... He couldn't let them catch up! He'd think of something if he needed, after all he was one of the smartest people around! The host then cleared their throat before continuing "Alriiighty~! Fourth Question~!"

"What is another word for lexicon?" Turg had once again failed to hit the buzzer before Peyton, he seemed to be distracted at the moment much to Jim's dismay... "A Dictionary!" The host seemed delighted now "Cooorrreect~! Another point for Peyton, its a tie so far ladies, gentlemen, and all non-binary folks!" (yes, the host included nonbinary folk, why? Bc I can and am supportive, thats why) Jim grew angrier at this by the second, not by the host including non-binary folks, no, that's actually progressive and smart, and more game shows should do this, if he ran a game show he would do that ...That'd actually be a good idea, hosting his own game show, he should do that some time, he shook his head, he was losing focus! Anyways, he was angry because the other contestant was slowly catching up, it was almost break time so he had a backup plan already in the works just in case he needed to put a stop to that potential threat, then the host looked at both Turg and Peyton "Fifth Question and then we'll go to a commercial break~! Can you name the seventh planet from the sun?"

Peyton buzzed in "Uhh... Ve-Venus...?" They... Didn't really know much about planets sadly... A noise played and the host shook their head "I'm sorry but that is iiinnncorrect~! Turg, its onto you~!" Jim once again whispered the answer into Turg's ear "Turg say it Uranus!" A resounding 'ding ding ding!' played "Coooorrreect~! So far, that leaves Turg at three and Peyton at twwooooo~! We'll be right back after these messages folks, stay tuned you don't wanna miss this~!" And with that, commercial break began, the host going off somewhere to get a drink, honestly despite one of their contests looking like a horrific monstrosity, he seemed smart! ...A little too smart for his own good, something was going on... It just didn't add up, how could something that seemed so... Out of it, something that seemed to be lost in its own little world be so smart?! The host would find out the truth soon enough, meanwhile backstage Peyton was sitting down and just thinking, they were unsure now if they could beat Turg... He was smarter than they give him credit for, and speaking of him... Peyton noticed that Turg had sat beside them "Oh, uh, hi Turg!"

Turg gave them a little wave, he seemed to notice their expression and he tilted his head "Turg make sad? Turg make... Uncomfortable?" Peyton shook their head "No no! You uh, didn't make me sad or uncomfortable, I was just thinking... You're really good at this game! I didn't expect it, if I'm being honest... While I would like to win, its been an honor competing against you!" Turg smiled "Turg think you good too! Turg need win though... Jim promise Turg jelly if he wins Jim the green paper stuff! Turg hope you understand" Peyton looked at Turg and blinked, they were a bit confused by that, but it wasn't really any of their business... The host however had overheard their conversation, well... At least they knew he had a motivation now as to why he's doing this, they then walked on back stage, time to look for this... Jim fellow... Maybe chatting with him would give them the answers they seek... They knew spying on others wasn't particularly... A good thing but they needed answers before they continued.

Eventually they had heard someone laughing backstage, that laugh unnerved them immensely, it sounded... unhinged... They crept up and hid behind one of the objects laying around backstage, meanwhile Jim himself was absolutely delighted, he seemed to be on the phone with someone from what the host could tell... "My plan is going so well! And I don't even have to do any of the work either, I'm tellin' ya Grim with the little earpiece I placed on Turg, m y victory is guaranteed~! ... What do you mean you don't think it'll work?! Well what do you know anyways?!" Jim hung up on this... 'Grim' person and sighed "I'll show Grim... I'm gonna rub it in his face when this works and I win the money" The host grinned and whispered to themselves "Not if I have anything to say about it... You greedy dirt bag...~" The host flinched as something fell over, this caught Jim's attention and immediately the host had crept away, didn't want the other to catch them in the act! Unbeknownst to them however, it was a little too late, Jim had spotted them right before they could get out of there, he'd definitely have to keep tabs on this one...

(I know the chance im taking by saying you greedy dirt bag but I can assure you I know what im doing by referencing even just a s m i d g e of that)

Meanwhile... The show was coming back on, everyone had gotten back into their places, and then after a countdown from five, the music played and the host had a big grin on their face, they would let the game play out until the end... But they knew what they were going to do, they were gonna expose Turg and Jim like the frauds they were! "Aannnnd we're back ladies, gentlemen, and of course can never forget the non-binary folks out there as well~! Alrighty, so once again, we have Turg in the lead with three buuuut... Peyton's not far behind folks~! They're only a little behind with only two points but they still have a chance to catch up~! From here on out the questions are going to be m u c h harder~! Onto the Sixth Question~! In "Thunderbirds", what was Lady Penelope's chauffeur called?" Peyton buzzed in immediately "Parker!" The audience clapped as the host spoke "Coorrecttt~! Oooh its a tie now~! Turg three and Peyton three! C'mon now Turg, don't let them beat you now, you've come sooo far~!" There was a pause before the next question "Seventh Question~! On "Blue Peter", what was John Noakes's dog called?" Turg buzzed in this time and listened as Jim whispered the answer "Turg says Shep!"

More clapping from the audience "Cooorreecct~! Turg four, Peyton three~! Eighth Question! What is sushi traditionally wrapped in?" It was Peyton's turn now to buzz in "Edible Seaweed!" Another one correct, despite the host knowing that Turg was cheating, this was still all so exciting! "Correct again~! Nineth Question! What is the oldest surviving printed book in the world?" Turg buzzed in this time and took a second as Jim once again helped out "Turg think it... The Diamond Sutra!" Another round of applause and cheers, the audience as loving this! "Correct! Tenth Question~! How tall would a double elephant folio book be?" Peyton buzzed in now "Fifty Inches!" A ding ding ding noise sounded but it was a little drowned out by the audience's cheers and applause "Cooorrrecct~! Alrighty folks, it looks like Turg and Peyton are once again tied! Five to five! Oh the suspense is killing me! Who will win this game and the prize~!" The questions went on and on... Each contestant buzzing in and getting them correct, eventually they came to the final question, the music got much more dramatic than before as the host's voice echoed throughout the building.

"Allriighty! Time for the f i n a l question folks! Among land animals..." The host paused before continuing, just adding to the dramatic flair "What species has the largest eyes?" Both buzzers went off but the host had been paying close attention to whose buzzer went off first and it was... "Turg! Do you have the answer!" Turg nodded, waiting for a few moments, he was a little confused as to why the host was coming in so close to him and looking at the side of his head, the host had seen the earpiece, just like Jim said was there... And they even heard a faint voice now that they were close enough give out the answer "Turg says... Ostrich!" There was a pause, the air was tense with suspension before balloons came floating down, confetti popped and cheery music played "Aaannnd cooonngraaatulations Tuuurrrrrrg! You arree the winner!" Jim immediately came out from backstage, walking up to hug Turg who immediately hugged him back and began clapping.

(lemme tell y'all when I used google to literally fact check every question I got off this one site, I was committed to getting this right, who knows google probs lied on some of them but I did my research as best I could just for this one lil fanfic and its more like a crack fic at this point just thought I'd point that out)

"But wait hold on! There's more folks!" The host immediately grabbed the earpiece from Turg's ear "I was waiting for this for the remainder of the show! Lookie here, lookie here! Turg is no winner folks! But a fraud, this man uh... Jim... has placed a little earpiece device on the ma.. er... monster... thing, whatever he is! He has been whispering the answers into Turg's ear! Their nothing but cheaters the both of them!" The audience along with Peyton had gasped, and then the audience started booing, Turg was confused however and just tilted his head until he heard the word cheater and looked back at Jim "Turg... cheat...? Turg do bad?!" Uh-Oh... Now Jim was caught, he didn't want to have to do this but his hand was forced ...Oh who was he kidding, he would LOVE to do this any day of the week! He brought out The Book of Chaos and began reciting something from the book, meanwhile the host was just speaking out towards Peyton and the audience "Sooo it looks like Peyton's the winner folk-" They paused as they looked back towards Jim, eyes widening in horror as they saw the man... Floating...?

His eyes looked demonic as he kept chanting the words from the book in an entirely foreign language, and just then... Fires consumed the host and began spreading rapidly, the exits were engulfed in flames in no time, and the screams of everyone echoed throughout the building, people trying desperately to find a way out, or the others who caught on fire trying to put themselves out, meanwhile Jim was casually whistling as he walked over and swiped the money, he should have just done this in the first place, it would have been so much easier! It's always easier to murder and steal than to... Okay well he didn't really play by the rules either he pretty much cheated at that too, either way! He got the money, and now he was happy, he grabbed Turg by the arm and just like that they were teleport-ed out of the building, Jim had only teleport-ed them a good bit away, he DID want to watch the building burn to the ground at the very least.

(listen, Idk how many powers Jim has- but if he can set people on fire, give them death kisses, and god knows what else he can teleport if he wants)

Turg was sitting on one of the parking blocks away from Jim, looking down at the ground, he was... Awfully quiet for once which made Jim look over and raise a brow "What's wrong with you?" Turg didn't speak, he just kept his gaze on the ground, he didn't want to watch the building burn unlike Jim, who blinked in surprise... This was the quietest Turg had been pretty much ever, so Jim was confused before he realized, was Turg... Angry with him...? "Look, Turg, I had to do what I did, I needed the green paper, the money! I needed to insure we won! Otherwise I couldn't have gotten you jelly!" There was a long moment of silence before Turg spoke up "You make Turg cheat, you make Turg do bad thing... You make Turg e v i l... Turg not forgive Jim... Nuh-uh..." Jim rolled his eyes "Come on Turg... It's not THAT bad! I could've made ya do w o r s e you know..." The sound of the entire building beginning to collapse took Jim's attention and the pair sat in silence, watching the building begin to fall in on itself, not a soul seemed to make it out of there...

Except... Oh no wait! There was somebody crawling out and away! Turg seemed to stand up at this and squint, he could see... It was Peyton! "That Peyton! Person Turg was competing against!" Jim looked ahead "Well, what a surprise! They made it out alive! ...A witness I'll have to make sure doesn't tell anybody who caused this..." He whispered the last part to himself, watching as Turg rushed off in Peyton's direction, once he got there he helped Peyton up who looked back at Turg "Ugh... Tu..Turg...? What... What are you doing here? Why did you come back...?" Turg looked at Peyton as he helped them to their feet "...Turg have something to say... Turg sorry... Jim made Turg do bad, Jim made Turg do evil thing... Jim... Lied to Turg..." Peyton looked at the other, they felt... Rather bad for him... He was manipulated into doing someone else's dirty work... "It's... It's alright Turg... Honest, I forgive you... You were tricked into doing something you would have never if you knew what it was, right?" Turg nodded "Turg never want to cheat, never want to be bad! Turg want good! Turg do good!"

Peyton nodded and smiled "Yeah... That's what I thought..." Before Peyton could say anything else, Jim had came over and immediately they backed away, Turg noticed this and stood in front of Peyton "Jim you go away! Turg protect new friend! They good, they kind!" Jim sighed "Turg, I'm not going to hurt them, I... eugh... I promise, and I would n e v e r break a promise!" That was a lie but... Turg was extremely gullible and he seems to believe this luckily for him... "I just need to talk to them for a second..." Turg slowly nodded and stood out of the way, but he was still going to stick close by, sure, there was no way he could or would hurt Jim, even if he did make him do a bad thing... Turg was a pacifist! But he would protect his friend in... SOME way... Jim had grabbed Peyton and pulled them close "Look, you can't tell anybody who did this... If you do, I'll kill you too, understand?" Peyton looked at Jim, and sure, that threat was terrifying but... They wanted to try something "...I'll keep quiet about this situation... Under one condition, just... hear me out..." Jim was silent, staring at Peyton in confusion "Go get your friend, Turg, some jelly... And APOLOGIZE to him...! He's very upset with you and rightfully so...!"

Jim groaned in frustration "Ugh, f i n e...! Fine...! If it'll make you and him get off my case about it and if it'll keep you quiet I'll go get him some damn jelly but I swear, if you go tell anybody after this... I'll-" Peyton cut him off "I won't, I swear it... Just if you do this ONE thing..." And with that Jim was off, and then Peyton sighed deeply, they were so thankful he was gone now... And he wasn't that close to them, after all, being near that man considering he just set the building on fire, killed multiple people and almost killed them as well, it was terrifying to even look at him... Turg though, they just wanted him to be happy, and not be sad or upset about this... Turg tilted his head "Jim... go away...? Just like... that?" Peyton nodded "He'll uh, be back soon... He needed to do something I think... For now let's just... Sit here, and talk for awhile..." and so both Turg and Peyton sat there, talking away and getting to know each other, it was almost nighttime when Jim came back, a large plate of jelly which made Turg's eyes light up, however, this could just be another trick, he turned away and kept his eyes away from the plate.

Jim looked at Peyton who encouraged him to go on... He took a deep breath and came closer to Turg "...Turg... Listen... I'm... I'm sorry about earlier, I'm sorry I lied to you and used to in order to gain profit, I shouldn't have done that ...To you anyways... So I uh, bought you some jelly... Just like I said I would... So uh, yeah..." Jim realized how... Awkward he sounded, he had never really apologized for anything before so this was a weird... Thing, either way, all he needed was Turg to forgive him and that was it... Turg was silent for a few minutes, his eyes slowly drifting back toward the jelly, no matter how many times he tried to resist he just couldn't help it, he grabbed the plate and immediately started consuming the jelly, he was about to consume the plate as well but Jim took it back from him "No no, let's uh, n o t eat the plate in front of your little friend there! That's uh, impolite or whatever!" Turg nodded and there was a long pause before Turg smiled "Okay... Turg forgive Jim...! Jelly was good!" Jim might not be... The best... But he at least honored his word of getting him some jelly!

It was a win in Turg's head at least, meanwhile Jim was just thankful that mess was over with, now he wouldn't have to deal with Turg being mad at him, and of course more importantly, Peyton wouldn't tell a soul now, it was set in stone! "We uh, should be getting home... It's late and some of us want to sleep" Turg nodded and turned back to Peyton "Turg's friend want stay? With us?" Peyton looked at Jim and then back at Turg "Aha no... No thank you... I've got my own place but don't worry Turg, I'm sure we'll see each other, I can uhhh... Come visit, whenever you'd like!" This made Turg smile and let out a series of... weird noises, but they sounded like happy ones! He looked thrilled which Jim immediately ruined the mood "Alright, alright, very touching, we're going now" Turg waved bye before being teleport-ed away with Jim... While Peyton didn't like Jim at all in the slightest, they would however be more than happy to visit Turg whenever he wanted...

The End.

I swear I tried my best y'all, you can tell happy endings eugh, arent my strong suit, but oh well no matter

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