Kids

Are                                                      (Not)

Alright

Stuck in the jet wash
Bad trip I couldn't get off

To say that the kids weren't alright would never be able to express just how messed up today's teens were. Teenagers had always been a messy terrifying specement that didn't know how to be civil but at that time,things had gone too far.

There are a bunch of rules when it comes to young people that apply to pretty much every time and universe. They are pretty simple to understand-yet one girl managed to fail them all.

Most important one is talking and it's not like Quinn couldn't talk but rather didn't want to. She didn't have something meaningful to say, therefore she chose silence.

Quinn could never just bark random words just to make herself be heard.

And maybe I bit off more than I could chew
And overhead of the aqua blue

But Quinn was also ambitious to a certain extent.

Not as much as that sophomore girl who participated in every school club and ranted about how she would eventually make it to Broadway. Quinn's goals were just as big as the younger girl's but they were to never be expressed at loud.

She learned that the hard way.

"I'm sorry honey."her mother whispered softly when her application for Yale was declined. She did the same when she failed to get into her school's cheerleading group. Quinn was indeed a very ambitious person but the world took her future goals and spitted out in the trash can.

But did she mind?

Not really.

She was a fighter who dreamed of a glorious life and would eventually get it.

Fall to your knees bring on the rapture
Blessed be the boys time can't capture
On film or between the sheets

Quinn spent her days with small activities that gave her pleasure. That meaning that she either watched Doctor Who or plan her future life and anticipate what was to come.

Quinn was young and careless regarding the real cruelty that the world hidden despite the faint bullying she got from time to time.

"One day,"she whispered to herself as she scrolled through the blogs of her classmates. Such an activity made her feel miserable to a certain extent-watching all these people posting pictures with their oh so dear friends made her envious of their happiness. "I'll have that too."

Quinn did have friends.

She just didn't have any real friends.

To be called a friend by Quinn Fabray was an honor no one had and that was simply because of Quinn's trust issues. She never opened up to someone and despite the pointless talks she would do with Santana Lopez and Kurt Hummel from her spanish class, she would never consider them her friends.

(They begged to differ.)

Quinn always chased the idealistic part of life and she craved a meaningful messed up friendship. If she had someone to fight for, she would do it in a heartbeat.

I always fall from your window
To the pitch black streets

Some months later, she finds what she wants in the form of Rachel Berry. The short brunette isn't like Quinn in many things but she has that spark in her eyes and the fire in her lungs that made Quinn feel different.

She makes Quinn feel alive.

It all starts with a little outburst that the tiny diva had with quarterback and golden boy Finn Hudson. Finnkenstein-as Santana likes to call him-was leaning against Rachel's locker and because Quinn needed some notes from Kurt whose locker was nearby, she happened to be there at the time of the incident.

"So, do you?"Finn asked with a cocky flirtarious smile"Not many girls like you have the opportunity to go out with me."

"I'm not interested. I have a girlfriend." Rachel told him very sweetly and closed her locker. If it was any other guy from the jocks-because her half-brother Puck was one if the popular guys and if someome messed up with Rachel, they would be in trouble-they would have dropped it. However, Finn was not only freakishly tall but also the least sharpest knife in the drawer.

(He had even called Kurt the f word.)

"Weren't you dating Jesse St. James last year?"

"Your point?"

"Did you suddenly become a lesbian?"

"No, I'm bisexual."

"So you like boys?"

"I like boys. And girls."

"Oh." and with that single word Rachel smiled to herself as she was finally able to escape this conversation. But joke was on her because Finn really wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. "So why aren't you interested then?"

And that's what makes Rachel explode and explain with every single detail what bisexuality means. Which makes Quinn smile too, because she finds Rachel's arguement fascinating.

Then Finn makes a horrible mistake.

"Sounds like you're a whore."and perhaps the words came out way before Finn could realize them but either way, Rachel punches him in the nose.

Quinn laughs.

Kurt had never seen her laugh.

And with the black banners raised as the crooked smiles fade

She watches Rachel a lot.

Well, according to Santana, she stalks Rachel everyday. But Quinn doesn't mind her comments because looking at Rachel makes her happy. As if Rachel's own ambitious and self-confidence(which she had loads of) was somewhat sent to Quinn in a telepathy form.

Quinn Fabray had always been a fighter but at the moment she felt as if her knife had been upgraded to a sword. She prefers a gun to kill her enemies in the real world and that's exactly what she goes after.

"I'm going to speak to her."

"Hallelujah!" Santana shouts a little too excited and pats her at the back. Kurt fixes her hair a little and whispers a You go tiger! to her. When Quinn starts walking towards the other girl sitting in front of the salads, she feels self-consious.

She thinks over the worst case scenarios and decides to just return to her seat.

"You're Quinn,right?"

But timing is a bitch and Rachel has already seen her, let alone aknowledge her presense.

"Um yes! And you're Rachel."Quinn pulls off her best awkward smiles until she realizes that they are silemt for way too long. She thinks about it and says the first thing that comes up to her mind. "I'm Quinn."

"I know, I kinda said so a while ago."

"Oh yes sorry!"

But Rachel laughs at her and smiles and for the first time in forever, Quinn has something to say.

A lot to say.

Former heroes who quit too late
Just wanna fill up the trophy case again

Quinn and Rachel become unseperable.

They have the same traditions, feelings and fears. Many found their friendship odd since Rachel was that girl who always had something to say and Quinn was the quietest person in the world but opposites always tend to attract.

But no, the two girls don't bond just to fill up the silence but are rather connected due to same ambitions. So when Rachel chockes at her NYADA audition and cries about her singing career that would never happen, Quinn remembered her own Yale failure and tried to comfort her.

"You have a bright future ahead of you." Quinn whispered softly while examining the trophies from singing competitions in Rachel's desk. "Never forget that."

"As long as you don't either."

And in the end
I'd do it all again
I think you're my best friend
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright

A month later, Rachel breaks up wiith her girlfriend Brittany. Brittany was a very innocent and happy girl but not in any way monogamous. Quinn figured out that it was bound to happen.

However, that didn't mean she could describe her point of view to a heartbroken Rachel.

"It wasn't the only girl with who she had slept. It had happened a lot of times, though with most people she just sticked to making out because kissing is not cheating."and she whispers the last part with a sad chuckle and Quinn only wishes for her best friend's pain to go away.

"Why is everyone so mean in this world? Even the ones who just don't seem like it."

"The kids were never alright, Rachel."Quinn whispers before planting a kiss to Rachel's hair. Rachel whimpers and she bears a strong resemblance to a puppy that got kicked which makes Quinn heart break in a million different ways.

That moment Quinn knows that she never ever wants to see Rachel sad again.

That moment Quinn knows that she wants Rachel to be happy and she wants to be the reason gor her happiness.

That moment Quinn knows that she's in love with her.

I'll be yours
When it rains it pours
Stay thirsty like before
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright

And one day Quinn lays on her bed and thinks.

If her thoughts were able to be expressed as words, she would never stop talking. Yet she chooses to remain silent.

(She always ignores how violent silence is.)

She glances at her phone screen and how she received a new message. Rachel was senting her goofy gifs in Kik which made a small smile form to her lips.

She takes her phone and types a reply, but typing a reply for Rachel was never easy since she was bound to be talking to her for at least three more hours and it was already midnight.

Exactly five hours later, she feels her phone burning her palms but she does not care.

(The phone freezes and shuts down twenty minutes later.)

Quinn takes it to a professional the very next day but they tell her that it would take about a week to get it fixed. She gives it to them despite her doubts and decides to use her old phone.

This unfortunately meant that she had to use her old number too and wasting an hour trying to convince Santana thay it was Quinn speaking and not some perv.

She doesn't even want to think how long it will take for her to convince Rachel.

Anonymous: Hey

Rachel☆: Hello, do I know you?

Anonymous: Yes

Quinn thinks about it for a while and an idea comes to her mind. It's a stupid plan but a plan that had a chance of working and that was enough. She looks at the phone screen for some more seconds before starting to type once more.

Anynomous: I'm from your school

Rachel☆: I figured it out. But who are you? :-P

Anonymous: A secret admirer

And Quinn takes a deep breathe while hoping that Rachel won't block her.

I'm not passive but aggressive
Take note, it's not impressive

Quinn and Rachel speak all the time.

Rachel speaks to her secret admirer with such goodness and kindness whereas she later rants to her best friend about it. Rachel doesn't know but she speaks with Quinn all the time.

Quinn doesn't mind.

Sometimes she does though. She does mind how Rachel empties her sadness to her behind the screen but not in real life. She minds how Rachel keeps things hidden from her.

She also minds how Rachel openly flirts with Quinn's other account and when Quinn rants about her problems-because she really doesn't want to talk about it with Rachel in real life-and her low self-esteem, Rachel calls her beautiful and it hurts.

It hurts because Rachel has called Quinn pretty a thousand times but never beautiful.

What did Rachel find so attractive to the person behind the screen?

Was it the sweet words that Quinn typed and boosted the diva's own ego? Were the empty promises for the future that she found thrilling?

Was it this persona Quinn had behind the screen that made Rachel's heart beat?

And did that mean that Rachel could never love Quinn in real life because these two people were opposites?

Anonymous: Have you ever wanted to disappear?

Rach♡: And join a monastery?

Anonymous: I understood that reference
*anonymous is typing*
But I'm being serious. Haven't you ever felt that if you disappeared, no one would care?

Rach♡: That's ridiculous! Never think like that! Life is wonderful and there are people out there who care about you, I am sure <3

Quinn smiles to herself and acts as if Rachel is sending this to her real self. She turns off her phone after looking at the clock and drifts off to a peaceful slip.

(She doesn't see the message Rachel sents after that.)

Empty your sadness, like you're dumping your purse
On my bedroom floor
We put your curse in reverse

Quinn doesn't really understand how it happened. She only knows that at one moment, Rachel is complaining to her-as one best friend to other-about not having a date to the prom and the other Quinn has already been too deep.

She easily comes up with a lie-which is also technically a truth-about being socially awkward and really hating parties in all their forms. Rachel doesn't suggest that they go together (because she's great and respects Quinn's own preferences and insecurities)and just continues being sad.

Quinn, eventually, finds the perfect opportunity to take out her other phone and text her.

Anonymous: Hey, do you by any chance have a date to the prom? I mean you most likely have because who wouldn't want to go with you...

Rach♡: I actually don't. People find me annoying.
*Rach♡ is typing*
Except Quinn <3

Quinn ignores how Rachel casually brags about her to her own self and continues typing.

Anonymous: Would you like to go with me?

Rach♡: I don't even know who you are XD

Anonymous: Time to find out

Rach♡: Okay then <3

And Quinn smiles, for this could all end in pain and tragedy or become the most romantic modern day fairytail.

And it's our time now if you want to to be
More the war like the carnival bears set free

The day of the prom arrives and Quinn has everything planned. She has taken some cards-like in Rachel's favourite movie Love Actually-and prepares herself for the revealation.

It's exactly ten minutes before their date and Quinn finds herself just one block away from Rachel's house. She doesn't get to register what is happening because only before she makes a turn to Rachel's house does she see a bunch of seniors beating up a smaller kid.

It's a blonde boy with girly clothes and Quinn sees this as his first mistake. But this didn't mean she would let these assholes injure the young boy.

"Hey! Leave the kid alone!" She yells at them with fury and as the guys lift their gaze to look at her, the boy makes a run for it.

"Come back here tranny!"one of them yells and grabs the boy by its collar. Quinn runs towards him but two other guys get a hold on her before she reaches him.

"You really should have minded your own damn business."one of them snarls to her ear. Quinn holds her tiny purse closer to her chest and prepares herself for the worst.

Quinn Fabray is a fighter and therefore she slaps the guy holding her and spits on his face.

(Horrible mistake.)

And your love is anemic and I can't believe
That you couldn't see it coming from me

Rachel waits for too long.

Longer than anyone would have.

She continues waiting for either her secret admirer or a sign sent from the universe telling her that no one would come. Until her phone rings and her world is filled with happiness once more.

She looks at the caller ID and hopes that her admirer will have a really good excuse for being so late. But she's sure that instead, she will get a bitter laugh and a cheap explanation about all this being a prank.

That was what she feared the most.

"I've been waiting for almost an hour and twenty one minutes."she simply states hiding her pain and sadness"Where are you?"

"Excuse me,miss"a female voice replies instead of the laughing Rachel expected."you're the emergency contact of Quinn Fabray."

"Quinn"Rachel breaths as the world suddenly stops"w-where is she? What's going on?"

"She's been in an accident and is severely beaten. Her situation is critical."

Rachel's world stops forever.

(She doesn't even bother connecting the dots regarding Quinn being her admirer.

She just runs.

Runs until she's there.)

And I still feel that rush in my veins
It twists my head just a bit too thin
All those people in those old photographs I've seen are dead

Rachel hates hospitals.

Maybe it's the scent of quarantine wings in the hospital or the lack of a conventional and pleasant space in general. She knows for a fact, however, that at that moment she can only think of the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor.

She watches the I.V and Quinn's hospital bed while hot tears are streaming down her face. The doctors tell her that she will be okay and just needs to rest but Rachel still worries.

She worries because she found the cards.

She worries because she found the phone too.

Rachel Berry understands how deeply in love she's with Quinn and knows that if anything happens to her, she will fall apart. She curses herself and wants to apologize for being so blind.

She hates herself because Quinn was in love with her and she didn't know.

Or she did know, deep inside, but only figured it out when it was too late.

If Quinn dies, Rachel decides that she will too.

And in the end
I'd do it all again
I think you're my best friend
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright
I'll be yours
When it rains it pours
Stay thirsty like before
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright

"Hey."

"You're awake."

"I got my beauty sleep." Quinn just laughs sweetly. Rachel always admired how strong Quinn was even at times like that. But soon enough she remembered all these depressing-and sometimes suicidical-thoughts Quinn had(when posing as a secret admirer)and she shakes that thought off.

Quinn Fabray is a fighter who should no longer being forced to fight.

Rachel plants a soft kiss on her temple  and smiles to her universe and stars. Quinn smiles back, unaware of Rachel knowing the truth.

"I'm sorry I ruined your date."

"You were my date."Rachel simply replies and it takes exactly fifty four seconds for Quinn to realize what she had just heard.

"I was--"Quinn struggled to find the right words in order to explain what had truly happened. What if Rachel thought it was a prank? What if she thought that Quinn's love confession was weird and creepy?

What if she laughed at her face?

"For how long?"

"For how long what?"

"For how long have you been in love with me?"

"I think from the very first time I laid eyes on you."Quinn replies sincerely"But I only came to accept it when you broke up with Brittany."

"That was almost a year ago."Rachel does not say it to make Quinn feel bad, she is just surprised. To say at least. What had she done to deserve a person like Quinn?"It must have been awful."she whispers before realization hit her. All these times she would talk about someone she found attractive to Quinn came rushing to her mind.

How could she not have seen it coming?

"You never reacted to my words. Or that time I hooked up with Jesse again and told you all about it."

"I wanted you to be happy. You're my best friend. I don't want to lose you. Ever."

"And you kept it all in?"

"I know what I did was odd"Quinn decides that the words she picks to describe the event will most likely whether their friendship would end"but I was never normal anyways."

"None of us are."

They sit in silence for some time while staring at each other's eyes.

And sometimes I just want to sit around
And gaze at my shoes yeah
And let your dirty sadness fill me up
Just like a balloon

"You said you love me in one of our messages."Rachel suddenly blurts out.

"I do."

"Do you mean it?"

"I thought it was clear enough."

"I love you too."Rachel whispers as she sits to her bed and holds her hand tight"I'm sorry."

"You did nothing wrong."

"I did. I did everything wrong."

And in the end

"Rach?"Quinn tells her softly before Rachel can let her tears fall down. She lifts her chin and looks at Quinn who still has some scars on her forehead."Can you help me get up?"

"I don't think you should."

"My arms are hurting. My legs, however, are fine. The doctor said it too."

I'd do it all again

"You never really told me what happened, you know. Why didn't you mind your own business that night?"

"For years I remained silent around things that bothered me."Quinn begins while Rachel wraps an arm around her to help her get up"That day I was brave. That day I would have told you the truth."

"Apparently that day you were also reckless and stupid."

"Perhaps"she smirked"but in the end, I'd do it all again."

I think you're my best friend

"You truly are a fighter,Quinn."

"I only fight for those who are worth it." Rachel smiles softly and lets her stand on her own. "Can you put on some music?"

"Why do you need to stand in order to listen to music?"

"No one said anything about listening."

Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright

Rachel raises an eyebrow but does as she's told. Before she can put Defying Gravity, Quinn snatches her phone. She holds her hand up to keep Rachel from looking at the playlist.

Then she presses play and the music starts playing softly in the backround.

"Dance with me."

And Rachel dances.

She dances and she smiles.

Meanwhile Quinn whispers romantic words to her ear.

For the first time in forever, Quinn never wants to be silent again even if the kids around her want her to be.

And I'll be yours
When it rains it pours
Stay thirsty like before
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright