Author's pov

Raavi stood there looking at shiva who was looking at her with so much emotion that she can't even name it..

It wasn't that she didn't wanted to give him a chance but before all these raavi wanted to know about his 8 months that he was away...She wanted to know what he did in these months..

She got of the bed and walked towards the window , looking at the rain outside..

Shiva felt hurt seeing her walking away like that but he knew he deserved it..

He too got up and was about to leave when raavi said

Raavi- mujhe un 8 mahino ke baar main janana ha shiva ,tune kya kiya kaha gaya tha sb janana ha..
Ek ek cheez , ek ek detail..

Shiva was stunned hearing that, no one asked him about these 8 months , surely his family asked him about the scar that was on his forehead but not exactly about these 8 months and he was somewhere or the other relaxed about this because maybe he hasn't done a lot of things in these 8 months but what he has done will surely leave few people furious..
And specially raavi..
He have spent all these months just thinking about her but there was something he did which he realised he shouldn't have..

Shiva looked at her who was although still looking outside the window but shiva knew she was waiting for him to speak..

Shiva gathered a lot of courage and said

Shiva - raavi main uske baare main baat nhi krna chatha hu please...

Shiva said with a heavy heart...

Raavi's heart skipped a beat on that ,
He wanted to avoid that topic , she turned towards shiva and in a fraction of second she was standing infront of him..

She looked at shiva who was avoiding eye contact with her..

Raavi- aisa kya tha shiva ?
Aur tu mujhse nazre kyu chura rha ha

Shiva still didnt looked at her and this broke raavi more, than anything..

She stumbed on the bed tears streaming down her face while shiva stood still just standing away from the bed..

Raavi couldn't believe it her shiva , her SHIVA could do anything like that , how can he , how can he do something like that...
She looked at him and when she found him still avoiding her gaze she lost it..
Getting up from the bed she walked towards him and grabbed him by his collar and said

Raavi- kar kaise skta ha tu aisa kuch shiva , kaise kr skta ha ek bhi mera khayal nhi aaya tujhe , mera chehra terr samne nhi aaya jb tu wo krne jaa rha ha..
Kaise kr skta ha tu aur phir bolta ha ki tu mujhse pyaar krta ha ye pyaar nhi ha shiva...
Tune kaise kr diya wo sb..
Bol mujhe..

Raavi was literally shaking him while still shiva stood there avoiding her gaze...

Raavi- kyu shiva kyu kiya tune ye , batana mujhe ,bol teri chuppi bardash nhi ho rhi ha mujhse please bol ki tune kuch nhi kiya ha please...

Shiva just kept looking at nothing in particular completely avoiding her gaze...

Raavi went silent for 2 second before she said

Raavi- tune mauka manga tha na , nhi de rhi main tujhe mauka , nhi de rhi hu, suna tune nhi de rhi hu main tujhe mauka..
Jaa rhi hu main shiva aur is baar sach main kabhi nhi aaungi..

Raavi started walking towards the door but shiva hurriedly grabbed her hand and said

Shiva - nhi raavi please I m sorry , main dobara kabhi aisa nhi karunga pata nhi us din mujhe kya ho gaya tha kaun se weak point pe tha main life ke mujhe wo krna pada , par I am sorry I am.really sorry please mujhe maaf kar se ki maine suicide krne ki koshish ki kabhi nhi karunga phir I m sorry...

Shiva said in a hurry , the thought that raavi was walking away made him confess the things we was hiding for so long...
He never wanted anyone to find out that he commited suicide...

Raavi firstly got stilled hearing him but when she digested his words her head skinned towards shiva who was looking at her hand ...
Did he just said that he attempted suicide - raavi thought

Raavi- tu suicide ki baat kr rha tha ?
Raavi asked him unsure.

Shiva was scared to look at her but still said

Shiva - haa .. Wo.main...wo main..sui....
Ek min toh tujhe kya laga main kis baare main baat kr rha hu

Shiva finally looked at raavi who too was looking at him..
her eyes said everything which she taught making shiva looked at her wide eyes..

Shiva - raavi tujhe sach main lgta ha main aisa kuch karunga , pyaar krta hu tujhse , tune soch bhi kaise liya ki main tere alawa kisi aur ke baare main soch skta hu kuch karna toh bht dur ki baat ha...
Tune ye soch bhi kaise liya...aur ye faltu baat soch ke tu mujhe wapas chod ke jaa rhi thi ?

Shiva said angrily which made her scared..

Raavi didn't say anything for some time she knew she was wrong in coming to a conclusion just like that , he was talking about suicide while she though something else only...

Somewhere raavi was relaxed that what she though was not true , but suddenly she realised what shiva has actually said and that made turn towards him in utter shock..

Shiva who was looking at her angrily till now saw her changed expression and got sacred...
Now it was his turn to get scared..

Raavi stepped towards him and said
Raavi- tune suicide krne ki koshish ki ha ?

She said in such a voice which shiva has never ever heard before and that made him shiver..

Raavi- bol shiva ,tune suicide krne ki koshish ki thi

Shiva nodded his head lightly only to receive a tight slap on his face...
He looked at her in shock while raavi eyes were just portraying fire..

Is that just his imagination or actually her eyes were burning in fire...

Raavi again slapped him , while shiva held both his cheeks in his hands..
But that didnt stop raavi as she started throwing punches on his arms , stomach and everywhere she could punch him..
Shiva let her did what ever she wanted to , he had imagined her reaction to be somewhere similar but this was more violent then he imagined..

And after what felt like lifetime  to shiva raavi backed out still funning in anger , even before shiva could recover from the buries that raavi has given him he found her again throwing things at him, he knew he needs to stop her..

Shiva - Raavi I am sorry , I am.really sorry please maar mat

Raavi- sorry , you are sorry , tujhe pta bhi ha tune kya kiya ha..
( she said again throwing a vase at shiva which shattered right beside him at the wall resulting him getting hurt..)

Ahhhhh- shiva screamed

Raavi suddenly came out of her anger and looked at him...
She ran towards him and dragged him towards the bed making him.sit on the bed , she looked at the wound which was fortunately not that deep..
Shiva used this opportunity toh confront her so he slowly wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled her closer...
Raavi looked at him and was about to pull herself out when shiva said

Shiva- please baat sun le please...

Raavi didn't said anything just kept a blank face which made shiva realise that he should speak..

Shiva- ha ye sach ha ki maine suicide attempt kiya tha pr ek reason tha uske peeche..
Main jis din yaha se ja rha tha kuch nhi socha tha ki kaha jaunga, mujhe bas nikalna tha aur maine wahi kiya..
Mujhe bas aisi jagha jana tha jaha main apne dard main jee saku bas aur phir kab main shimla ki.bus main chadha , kab main waha gaya mujhe kuch nhi yaad ha..
Waha jane ke baad main bas hotel ke room main band rhta tha , din bhar bas ye sochta tha ki kash tujhe rok leta kaash tujhse mil leta..Main apne hi gusse main tha , guilt maim tha aur ye sb bht bhari pad rha tha mujhpe.
Kab din hafto main beete aur hafte mahino main mujhe pta nhi chala...
Ek din yuhi teri photo dekhte dekhte pta nhi mujhe kya hua aisa lga jaise main aab aur nhi jee skta hu , terese dur toh ho hi chuka tha laga ki aab jeeke bhi ky hi karunga..
Is liye maine wo kiya jo nhi karna chaiyea tha main pahad se kood gyaa..
Asan nhi hota ha raavi apni jaan lena aur ye baat us din samajh aai...
( Raavi's body still at that, she knew what it fells like when you are at the lowest of your life and want to just end it)

Par unfortunately mujhe bacha liya gaya , jb ankh khuli toh hospital main tha...
I am sorry , I really am sorry.. Main janta hu maine jo kiya ha wo kisi bhi surat main sahi nhi ho skta ha , par raavi wo dard itna tha ki main bata nhi skta hu..
Us din bas mujhe apne dard ko.khatam krna ha  bas...
I know tareeka galat tha par I am really sorry....
Please mujhe maaf kr de...please....

( shiva completed he deliberately didn't wanted to tell her about his visit every months here because that would just add fuel to the fire..)

Raavi and nothing just traced his scar ,her tears did wanted ti escape her eyes but she swollen her lump trying very hard not to cry...

Raavi- kb kiya tha tune suicide

Shiva - yaha aane ke ek mahine pehle (Shiva said in a deep voice)
he can never explain the things he felt that day, the fear , the pain , the heartbreak everything was too much to take..
And that lead him to all those..
He knew that suicide can never be a solution but the pain was something which never wanted to leave his body...

Raavi kept looking at him , her shiva has attempted suicide.
Her shiva..
How can he
She knew that even she did something like that because of dev but at that point she didn't have someone to love her like this person does.
But he had her, and still he took that step..

Shiva - main terese dur rhna bardash nhi kar paa rha tha raavi aur bas is liye mai....

Raavi: toh tu aake mila kyu nhi mujhse...haa bol aur kisne tujhe right diya ki tu apne aap ko hurt kare , tu mera ha ,mera right ha tujhpe...
Who gave you the right to hurt something that belongs to me....
Kaise shiva kaise kar liya tune..
Mana ki maine bhi aisa kuch kiya tha aur aisa nhi ha ki main teri feelings nhi samajh paa rhi hu ki tu kya feel kr rha hoga aur kitna mushkil hoga wo step lena par tune ek baar bhi mere baare main nhi socha , tujhe khayal nhi aaya mera, dhara di ka suman kaki ka, gaumbi ka ,dev ka, krish ka kisi ka bhi khayal nhi aaya tujhe..
Agar tu nhi bacha toh main kaise zinda rhti shiva  kaise...
Tujhe andaza bhi ha ki in 8 mahine main kitna roye hu , kitna tadpi hu kitni baar mari hu..
Jab pata chala tha naa ki tu chala gya ha toh aisa lga kise ne dil bahar nikal ke rakh diya ho, zinda lash ban gai thi main
Kyu shiva kyu , kyu tu ek baar bhi milne nhi aaya ,kyu tujhe rishta todna zyada asan laga ,kyu tujhe suicide krna asan laga
Ek baar shiva ek baar tu aake mujhse mil leta , pyaar se raavi khe deta toh main chal deti tere saath..
Kyu shiva kyu kiya ,agar tu nhi bachta toh, main tujhe kho deti toh, kya karti main shiva bol na...

Raavi started crying , the fear was very big , she had literally lost him....
The thought was itself so heartbreaking for her..
Shiva hugged her , trying to confront her..
Raavi too wrapped her arms around his neck while her legs got wrapped around his torso..
They both hugged each other tightly...
Not wanting to let go of each other...
Tears were streaming down their eyes..

They both wanted to apologise
Shiva for doing all those things for leaving her to attempting suicide
While raavi wanted to apologize for not even once trying to contact him for not being there with him when he was hurt..

Will it ne too late if they apologize now (they both thought )

But alas..

I am.sorry - they both said at the same time and hugged each other more tightly...

They sat there for how many hours they dont know but shiva did realised that it was somewhere around mid night..

He tried pulling away from raavi so that he can go and bring them food ,but raavi didn't bugged infact her hold tighten around him..
Not wanting to upset her shiva let her stay like that, they both needed this feeling of each other after what all they have gone just because of their mistakes...

Shiva wanted to ask raavi about giving him a chance...
So he cleared his throat and said

Shiva - raavi , I know meri galti ha aur main accept bhi krta hu , and I promise main kabhi kisi aur ki baato ko dil pe lagne nhi dunga..
Par please ek mauka de de mujhe..
Please meri sorry accept kr le aur mujhe ek muka de de..
Maine jeena hi nhi seekha ha tere bina, tu baat nhi krti ha ya samne nhi hoti ha toh lagta ha mar gaya hu mai..please..

Raavi pulled away from him, looked into his eyes and said

Raavi- agar dobara kabhi mujhe chodne ka khayal bhi aaya naa toh aaj ke saare maar yaad rakhna.
Aur rhi baat suicide ki toh shiva tere upper tujhse zyada haq mera ha , aur main ye bilkul bardasht nhi karungi ki koi unko thes pahuchaiye jo mere ha..
Is liye ainda ye baat yaad rakhna..
Agar tune aisa kuch kiya toh tujhe jaan se maar dungi main...

Shiva nodded his head..
They both kept looking at each other , while shiva pulled raavi little closer , raavi too wrapped her arms around him and within a second their lips met each other...
They both felt alive , it felt like they have reborned again , it felt heaven...

They kept kissing each other like there was no tomorrow..
Shiva didn't even realised when raavi pushed him on the bed and hovered over him, still kissing each other...

Suddenly they heard the thunderstorm which made them pull apart...
Shiva kept looking at raavi who was looking at him with so much hunger...

Raavi moved forward to kiss him again when shiva turned his head , raavi eyed him at that's nd punched him lightly..

Shiva - aayo ,kitna marne lagi ha tu...
Raavi- mar khane wale harkate kyu krta ha tu..

Shiva laughed at that and pulled her closer making her lay her head on his chest..
Raavi too closed her eyes filling home..
It was not that she was not angry on him , she still was somewhere angry but she also realised that what ever he has done it was because he was hurt..
People might say that actions hurt more  ,but the truth was words always hold more power than actions , your action might hurt someone just physically which gets cure with time, but words always hurt people mentally, words hold power to destroy people mentally and thats what happened with shiva , people's words have destroyed him mentally , his thinking sense..

Raavi realised that anita was right shiva was still a child from inside who was afraid and now she wanted to protect him at any cosy..
He belonged to her and will always belong to her..
He was her shiva...
She knew that she is going to destroy the people who have filled his head with nonsense.. She is going to stand infront of him being his sheld..
She swear that from now on nothing is gonna hurt him..

Where as shiva also realised that how wrong it is if you let people talk shit about you and let that effect you..
He had literally lost this girl because of his own stupidity..
He has hurted her a lot but now he will win her he will do everything in his power to make his queen happy make his raavi happy...

They both held each other tightly, promising each other...

They even thanked god that finall finally they were home...

Author's note..

Heey guys..
Another update..
So yaa raavi has forgiven him...
Finallyyy..

Also the next chapter will be a surprise...

And I will be ending this story in the next chapter...

Thank you , everyone who was a part of this journey...
Everyone's comment just use to make my day so thanks a lot..

Will try to upload the next chapter as soon as possible...

Till then
Take care
Stay safe
And
Enjoy the story