Chapter #1: The Watch

Simmons: Tex, see what you can do about that gun!

Tex: You got it.

Tex shoots the Lopez head off his gun.

Tex: Hyeah, headshot!

Grif: Nice shooting, Tex.

Simmons: Tucker. You and Tex head up across that bridge. Try to take out that other turret. We'll head in to the base and see if we can find O'Malley.

Tucker: Why do I have to go up against a machine gun, and you guys get to go play hide and seek?

Simmons: The guy we're seeking has a rocket launcher.

Tucker: Oh, right. Uh, have fun doing that.

Cut to Sarge and co.

Sarge: Caboose, we'll hold them off from up here. You take the bomb and try to sneak in the front of the base.

Caboose: Okay.

Donut: Wow, Sarge. You actually decided to sacrifice yourself for someone else!

Sarge: Quiet Donut! I'm gonna need your help. When the turrets kill Caboose, I'm gonna need you to carry the bomb in to the base.

Cut to Tex and Tucker at the big windmill thing.

Tex: I can't see him from here. Let's move out. (runs across the fan)

Tucker: Okay, but jus- (falls down behind the fan) Whoahoa! Ah!

Tex: Tucker! Are you okay?

Tucker: Yeah I'm okay, I dropped down into some kind of hole. Can you give me a hand?

Tex: Oh. Let me take out this turret. I'll be back for you later.

Tucker: What is that? Hoaho, what the hell is this?

Tucker grabbed the sword. However, he also saw some kind of advanced futuristic watch. When the moment he touched it, it was able to latch onto his arm. 

Tucker: hey yo, what the hell is this shit!?

The aquamarine Soldier of booty tried to pry the watch off but decided not to seen that it seemed to be permanently attached to his armor.

Tucker: asked if they couldn't get any fucking weirder..

Simmons and Grif at the other giant fan thingie.

Simmons: Okay Grif, we just need to jump through here.

Grif: Okay, go for it.

Simmons: Me? Why me first?

Grif: Because, I don't wanna die?

Simmons: But this thing's moving super slow. See?

Ten seconds later the fan blade goes by, complete with huge WHOOSH sound.

Grif: Nice knowing you Simmons.

Cut to Sarge.

Sarge: No, shoot the guy with the bomb! You're ruining the plan!

Tex: I'm pinned down, I need assistance!

Tucker: (arriving next to the Red Zealot) Hey asshole. (flips out some glowing blade thing)

Red Zealot: Heuh?!?

Tucker steps forward and slices the Red Zealot in the groin, sending him flying off the base to land on the ground below, on his face.

Red Zealot: My quest is over... I can see the flag... It's so, flappy... Hegh-bleahhhh

Tex: Hey, where'd you get that?

Tucker: I dunno, I found it in the hole. Pretty cool. Look what I can do. (swings it in the air)

Tex: Hey, you wanna trade it for the sniper rifle?

Tucker: No thanks, I'm good.

Cut to Caboose wandering around aimlessly.

Caboose: X. I'm looking for an X. (He sees the X that Tex made) That, is a plus sign. Not an X. I need to find an X.

Church: (from nowhere) Hello? Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me?

Caboose: Church?