~Avni~

       I still can't believe. Finally we are married. Neil is my husband now. I'm excited for our new life.

       I came out of my thoughts after I heard the knocking on the door.

" Avni ji kya hum kamre ke andar pravesh kar sakte hain " Neil asked from outside of room.

    God, what I'll do with him ? This was his room and now it's ours. Why he is asking for my permission ?

" Neil, it's our room. You don't need my permission to come inside " I shouted from inside.

" hume gyaat hai parantu humne apki aagya lena uchit samjha " he was still out side.

" would you come inside or stay outside of the room whole night " if he wouldn't come inside  within a minute, I swear I'll drag him inside.

     looks like he got the hint and came inside within a minute. He locked the room and came near me. I was sitting on the middle of the bed, in my wedding helenga and all the jewelries still on me. He smiled and sat in front of me but at one hand distance. I frowned.

 
    Come on, Neil, I'm your wife now.

  I noticed his expressions. He wasn't looking at me and had a shy smile on his face.

 
     I'm the bride, right ?

  But he is the shy one. You have to take the first step, Avni. Okay.

" Neil, are you happy "

" Hum atyant hi prasann hain Avni ji. Apko hamari dharma patni ki rup main dekh kar hum kitne prasann hain aap uski kalpana bhi nehi kar sakte "

" me too, Neil. I so so soooo happy " I said and literally jumped on him. He held me securely in his arms.

" I love you, Neil " I whispered in his eyes.

" hum bhi aapse bahut prem karte hain, Avni ji "

" then show me how much you love me, Neil " I whispered in a sexy way.

         Neil looked at me questioningly, perhaps wondering how he could show his love for me. I frowned. He is such a Tubelight. But mine. My Tubelight tillu.

I cupped his face with my palms and looked into his eyes " mark me, Neil. Mark me as your. Make me yours in all sense "

     He was surprised by my words. He wasn't expecting this.

" aa....aap poornatah prastut hain ? Hum jante hain vivah ki pratham ratri ek nav vivahit dampati ke liye atyant hi mahatvapoorn hota hai aur wo apna sarvasva apne jibansathi ko samarpit karte hain parantu hum aap pe kisi bhi prakar ka dabaav nehi dalna chahate. Agar aap poornatah prastut hain tabhi hum hamare iss vivah bandhan ko aage badhayenge. Hum apki sahamati ke bina kuch nehi karenge  " He said calmly. I was amazed with his words and respect for me. I'm really lucky to have him as my husband.

" I'm more than sure, Neil. I want you. I want we to become one in all sense. I want you to show me your desires for me " I assured him that I want it. I want to consummate our marriage.

    He smiled and kissed on my forehead. I know he want it too but he is nervous. It's hard for him to express his feelings because of his shy nature.

I came out of his embrace and got up from bed " I'll back in 5 minutes " I didn't wait for his answer and ran to bathroom. I have a surprise for him.

               
                                ~☆~

      I checked myself in mirror for one last time and came out of bathroom. He was sitting on bed and waiting for me. He looked up at me and was shocked to see my new look.

     I was wearing a red lingerie and a mid thigh shrug over it. He was watching me with widen eyes and opened mouth. I giggled at his reaction and started walking towards him.

" Avni ji aapne apne bastra kyun badal diye " he asked nervously.

     I got on the bed and sat directly on his lap. This was not the first time I'm sitting on his lap, but still he wasn't habitual of it. I grabbed his hands and placed on my hips.

" That lehenga was very heavy so thought to change into something comfortable and I thought it will be easy for you as well " I said leaning closer to him. I watched him gulping his saliva down in nervousness.

" hum bhi apne bastra badal kar aate hain " his words came out as whisper.

" I can do that for you "

" hum...." I didn't  let him to say anything and kissed on his lips.

      I started undoing his sherwani's button without breaking the kiss. He wasn neither pushing me away nor pulling me into him. His hands were just resting on my back. I undone his sherwani's all button and threw it on floor. I pulled out of kiss and started at his bare chest. He have a sculptured body. My fingers automatically started to roam over his abs. I could feel the fire in me. I pulled off the shrug and let him to see my body, which was only covered in two pieces. His heart was beating so loud that I could hear that. I could feel him growing underneath me as I was sitting on it. His eyes was fixed on me but he was hesitating to do anything.

" I'm all yours, Neil. Claim me " I whispered in his ears and started giving hickey on his neck and chest. He grabbed my waist and moaned my name.

    I continued doing my work and by now his neck and chest was covered by my hickey, a few on his abs and v-line also.

   My hand reached to his pant and I was about to take it off but he stopped me.

" Avni ji, hum..hum....." he stammered

" what happened, Neil "

" wo...hum...hume snanghar jana hai...hum bas kuch hi samay main wapas aajayenge " he said stammering on his words. He wasn't looking in my eyes.

" you don't want to do it, right " I asked to confirm my doubt.

" Avni ji, hum aapse kshama chahate hain par hume kuch samay aur chahiye. Hum poorna rup se prastut nehi hain swayam ko aapko samarpit karne ke liye " he said without looking at me. 

     I felt embarrassed, guilty, ashamed, heartbroken and angry at same time. Embarrassed because my husband don't want me. He don't want to consummate our marriage. Guilty because I didn't ask what he want. He also have his own choice. I can't force him to do anything. Ashamed because of the position I'm in right now. Sitting on my husband's lap in half naked position without his consent. Heartbroken because he rejected me on our wedding night. He didn't have any desire for me. Angry because he could have say it earlier. He could have stopped me at starting. Let me to go to high and then pulled me back doesn't make any sense. I'm feeling like a s**t at this moment, who failed to seduce. I'm disgusted of myself.

I'm not enough for him ?

Or

Am I not beautiful ?

      I couldn't able to look at him. I got out of his lap, took my shrug from floor and ran into bathroom wiping my tears.

     I heard him shouting my name, but I didn't stop. I locked the door from inside and sat under the shower and let my tears flow freely.

    I didn't want it. I didn't want my wedding night like to be this.

My husband rejected me on our wedding night.

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