Chapter Twenty-One

It did not come as a surprise to the Irfan household when Ammi and Dadi brought up the subject of Walid and Mahrosh' wedding after the siblings had returned home.

Abbu was not as eagerly on board till Dadi showed him a piece of her mind. "If you're waiting for that boy to come across a gold mine before you marry Mahrosh off, Irfan, you've reached the height of stupidity. He earns well enough to support his wife, and I am not going to sit here and watch you keep the couple separated for absolutely no reason at all."

Even for a man who considers himself as big as Irfan did, a mother's words are final and leave no room for debate.

The wedding preparations began in full swing. Over the years of the lengthened nikkah period, Ammi had planned everything to the tiniest detail and she was more than eager to jump into the preparation without a moment's hesitation.

Aleena automatically became her partner, allowing Mahrosh the little freedom to pretend she was a bystander. It was her wedding, but she felt more like a spectator. No one asked for her opinion in choosing the dresses or planning the function, and the few times she tried to voice it, she was told that she had never taken interest in such topics and she should leave them to those who actually knew about it.

Mahrosh was put off, but she bore through it, until one subject came up that she could no longer remain silent upon. It crippled her insides, and made her fists clench by her sides. It became a subject of her duas after every salah, and while she asked her Rabb for help in this matter, Mahrosh knew that sooner or later, she would have to bring it up to her family.

The chance presented itself at breakfast one day. Abbu was reading his newspapers and Dadi and Ammi were planning a trip to androon Lahore for shopping.

Mahrosh' heart trembled within her chest. HasbunAllahu wa ni'mal wakeel; the words kindled a small candle of bravery that allowed her to raise her head.

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

They did not hear her the first time. Abbu did not look up from his newspaper and Ammi and Dadi did not stop talking.

"I do not want to take any jahez* with me."

And then, all faces turned towards her. Mahrosh' heart pounded profusely against her ribs at the sudden change in everyone's expression.

Ammi was appalled at the sudden declaration. "What do you mean you don't want to take jahez? Every woman who gets married takes her dowry with her."

"Not every woman, Ammi," Mahrosh implored, her voice low, "Yes, when a woman marries she should take her necessities along; the things she may need, but the entire furniture of the house she's moving into? Trunks upon trunks of items? Is she only worthy if she brings those material items? Is she, herself- not enough?"

Something flickered across Ammi's eyes. Dadi frowned. "It is a part of our culture, Mahrosh."

"It is a part of the culture that we have adopted from the Hindus - and it entirely goes against what Islam teaches us. Islam honors women, Dadi, but we force dishonor upon our women instead by leaving its teachings."

Abbu observed Mahrosh, his silence deadlier than the words of both Ammi and Dadi. The two of them did not understand what Mahrosh was talking about, but Abbu had an inkling.

"Did Walid feed these thoughts into your head?"

Mahrosh' eyebrows drew together. "No-"

"It's the books she has been reading that is teaching her such things. Walid wouldn't say something so irresponsible," Ammi shook her head.

"He has," Abbu leaned back, his jaw ticking, "He came to me yesterday with the same request. That he will pay the mahr before the wedding and that he doesn't want Mahrosh to take anything more than her necessities."

Ammi was shocked, and despite herself, Mahrosh felt the love and respect for Walid in her heart expand. "Walid is asking for the same thing, Abbu. A simple wedding -"

"A simple wedding?" Abbu's eyes narrowed, and Mahrosh' lips clamped shut. "Have you even thought about what people would say when word gets out that I gave my daughter no dowry?" He got to his feet, the strictness of his expression crushing Mahrosh' hopes. "We will not talk about this anymore."

Albeit Abbu's refusal to hear a single word regarding this topic, Mahrosh did not give up. She took Dadi to the side, and then Ammi. She held their hands in hers, doing anything she possibly could to try to make them understand.

Dadi was a harder nut to crack. All her life it had been Dadi who had taken her side without question but in this matter she remained as unwavering as Abbu. She was older in age, and the cultural roots were too firmly planted in her; she had been married off with jahez, and jahez had been a part of all of her children's weddings. Dadi brushed aside Mahrosh' statements as immaturity, telling her that even if they were faulty, one simply could not avoid such cultures and Mahrosh would understand when she was older.

But to Mahrosh' surprise, Ammi did not brush off her words or pull her hand away when Mahrosh took her to the side to talk to her.

"Don't you see? Abbu can afford it - so he will give me a truck full of jahez to take along when I wed, but won't Sidra and Shahbaz Uncle see it? Won't those people see it who cannot afford doing the same for their daughters, so when the time comes to wed them off - their daughter's in-laws will demand the same from them. Can you imagine the struggle they will go through to wed their daughters? And then, when those families will give birth to daughters, they will think of them as burdens - wishing instead for sons, and forgetting that our Rasul too had four daughters."

The glimmer of understanding in Ammi's eyes kindled the flicker of hope inside Mahrosh' heart. She kept going. "And what if a girl is too poor to bring the amount of jahez her in-laws expected? Oh, Ammi - imagine the way the poor girl would be treated because her worth had been reduced to the dowry she brings over to her in-laws. Her parents gave away their precious daughter - is she so low, so unworthy that her in-laws would only accept her with all of the goods she comes with?"

"But you don't have to worry about these things, Mahrosh. I am sure you trust Walid and Aleena to treat you well -"

"But it's not about me, Ammi, is it?" Mahrosh' eyes glazed. "How can I play a part in something that is so damaging to society and to women? I fear Ammi that one day, women will turn away from Allah because of this - they will curse themselves for being born as women, they will associate their Muslim society with this and they'll turn away from Islam. How can I play a part in something like that when I know it is wrong?"

Ammi was rendered speechless. In her daughter's teary eyes, she saw the reflection of a familiar young girl. A girl who had once been so like Mahrosh herself - so full of dreams. But she had been the eldest of three sisters; and her mother was constantly put down for not birthing a son. At the time of her marriage, her father was struggling financially and she could only take as much jahez as she was able to - not knowing, then, that even a room full of jahez was not enough and she would hear mockery from her in-laws over it. Her marriage hardened her gentle heart but at the birth of her son, she let out a sigh of relief. When happiness finally seemed to have knocked at her door in the role of a mother, fate was cruel to her and it took away her son. She was blamed for it, forced to question why her son had not survived in place of her daughter - so much so that the self-hatred that had been inflicted upon her made her tough and unfeeling towards her daughter.

Ammi's glazed eyes reflected her daughter's. Because Ammi herself was a victim of the society Mahrosh spoke about.

When another tear trickled down Mahrosh' face, Ammi drew her arms around her. "Bas karo*," she muttered, the gentle words so alien to both mother and daughter.

In her embrace, Mahrosh did not miss her mother's shaking shoulders. Mahrosh knew her mother's story - and even if she had sometimes been the victim, Mahrosh saw now more than ever that her mother had once been a girl just like her. That Ammi was not just her mother but a woman, too. A woman who had suffered because of society.

Ammi's tears tore through Mahrosh' heart. She pulled away slowly and gently wiped Ammi's tears away.

There was so much Mahrosh wished to say, then.

"It wasn't your fault", "I'm sorry for what you had to face", "You are an epitome of strength", "I'm sorry if I didn't understand you before and I forgive you for all of the petty grudges I had against you -" but her hands gently grazed her mother's cheeks and she only whispered, "I love you."

Sometimes, the world breaks you. It shatters your heart till you think you are broken beyond measure -

But there is One whose name is Al-Jabbar. He is the One who puts together again the pieces of your broken hearts - He is one who joins. He makes you whole again. He joins the distant hearts of a mother and a daughter and makes them a source of comfort for each other. He connects. He connects you to Himself; He brings you back to Him.

So carry the broken shards of yourself to His court. He is waiting for you to turn to Him. Turn to Him and be whole again.

Having Ammi on her side turned the tables a little, but it was not enough to convince Abbu. The conversation was brought up again during dinner one day, and Abbu was beginning to get riled up. The voices rose - till finally, Dadi, who had been quiet all along, spoke up.

"If the kids want a wedding like that, Irfan, then it won't hurt to listen to them."

Mahrosh was surprised to see the sudden change in Dadi's stance.

"What do you mean, Amma? You know just as well as I do why I cannot and will not do that -"

"What's the worst that will happen, Irfan? People will talk? They will comment over how you wed your daughter regardless of if you give jahez or not. Logon ka kaam hi bolna hai*. And if they ask you, you can just tell them that the bride and groom wished to wed like this - we may not understand these 'progressive' ways but it is Walid and Mahrosh' special day. We shouldn't ruin it by forcing something they are so passionately against."

Dadi's speech was the needed push. Ammi and Mahrosh beamed when Abbu fell silent, passing each other secretive smiles. Abbu left the table eventually, muttering under his breath about the women in his family - but Mahrosh knew that she could hope for the best now. Abbu was not the only one who could have his way with things when his mother got involved. He had learned this from Dadi, after all.

"What changed your mind, Dadi?" Mahrosh asked her later that night, snuggling up with her on her charpai.

Dadi stopped knitting. "Walid came to visit me."

Mahrosh straightened up. "Walid did? When?"

"When you were gone to the bazaar with your Ammi and I was alone at home. He brought gol gappay (I wanted to leave some for you but we ended up eating all of them together - don't look at me like that, one sacrifice is enough, okay?) He was very polite when he asked me to speak to your Abbu."

Mahrosh' heart fluttered and she rested her head against Dadi's shoulder. "Wait-" her smile dropped as she straightened up again, "You're telling me that you weren't convinced by my constant requests but agreed to him when he asked you once? Dadi! Don't tell me he's gaining more favour than I am!"

"It was hard to resist him, Mahrosh. He didn't grab my knitting needles like you do or say 'Listen to me with your eyes, Dadi' when you think I'm not paying attention -"

"Dadi!"

Dadi chuckled, "I listened to you too, Mahru, but it's not my fault if I can't always take you seriously na. You'll always be a child to me. But the love and care in Walid's words when he spoke of you made me realize how serious and solemn he was about this matter. I may not agree with the two of you, but it's clear that you both know what you want from life, and the least I can do is support you."

Mahrosh drew a slow breath, kissing her grandmother's shoulders. And your support is all we need, Dadi.

A few seconds passed in silence before Mahrosh spoke up. "Dadi?"

"Mhmm?"

"What did Walid say about me?"

Dadi grinned to herself as she resumed her knitting. "That's what you got from the entire thing? This generation, Astaghfirullah. Why should I tell you?"

The night filled with laughter as Mahrosh fought between defending herself against Dadi's teases or accepting them so she could hear what Walid had said about her - before eventually deciding that she would have to ask Walid herself.

The full moon peeked down at them, and Mahrosh felt her heart grow fuller. In another week, she would be married. She thought herself prepared for the next chapter of her life, not knowing of the challenges that waited ahead.

jahez - dowry

bas karo - stop it

logon ka kam hi bolna hai - it is the job of people to speak/gossip

assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh!

twenty-one chapters in, and the kiddos are finally getting married. *cue dramatic, happy tears*

on a side note... how important do you guys think wedding scenes are? I may or may not be planning on showing that, but wanted your input first.

jazakAllah khair!