So.. I've been gone for a pretty long while, I apologize. 😭 ❤ I haven't had much motivation to post or write much, but I do have a few drafts I'll probably finish off soon for my main fic rn, ' Last Of Spirit Bear'! But I don't want to leave the few tsb fans starving, so I dug up this short fanfic I made back when I first read tsb, so a pretty long time ago. It's quite a bit angsty so I apologize if it's cringe or out of character!! Enjoy, even for a old story</33

(also, this is kind of based off what Peters mother says during one of the circle justice meetings, that Peter would wake up screaming like someone was still attacking him often)

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Cole awoke to a sudden blood curdiling scream coming from Peters bed. He sprung up, quickly rushing to Peters side and cupping his face.

"Peter? Are you okay!? What the hell happened!?" He said all in one quick hushed sentence. Peter just pushed his hands away, screaming louder and kicking at Cole. "Peter-" Peter kicked him right in the gut, causing Cole to stumble back a bit and wince from pain. He wasn't as strong as he was before, after the mauling. Perhaps that was a good thing. Peter just curled up into a small ball, pushing his back as far as he could against the wood wall, as if he was trying to escape from Cole.

"Peter, your okay. It's just me."

Peter just sobbed, mumbling something about his head. He screamed, covering his head as if someone were attacking him. Realization hit Cole as he choked down the tears and took a step back. "I won't ever hurt you again, Peter. I promise. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry," He pleaded quietly, but he knew this wouldn't fix anything. No matter how many sorrys he says- at the end of the day, Peter is forever going to suffer from these meltdowns, his speech problems, his own thoughts. He barely even walked anymore, just stumbled around and refused any help.

"I can do it myself, I'm not a baby." He'd say grimley when anyone tried to reach out a hand when he'd fall.

After a while of sobbing, Peter eventually fell silent, still protecting his head. Cole stepped closer, hesitating for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Peter and touching the back of his head gently. "Its okay, it's okay. No ones gonna hurt you again. I promise. I'll make sure of it," Cole couldn't help but tear up. Seeing someone this depressing and hopeless- because of Cole himself. It was all his fault, and he knew that. "I'm so sorry," He sniffled. Peter leaned into his touch, as if this was someone he trusted. Someone who he wanted to be around. But Cole was not that. There was just no way.

"I just want the headaches to stop. They get so bad, I can hardly remember where I am. Its like my minds collapsed in on it's self. I'm so fucked, Cole." He whispered quietly.

Cole tightened his embrace. "No, your not."

Peter started crying again. "I am," he whimpered. "What purpose does a crippled retard like me serve in this world, Cole?"

Coles blood ran cold. "Peter.. Don't say that. Don't say such harsh words against yourself." He said in a quivering voice. Seeing Peter cry made him want to cry.

"I can't even walk without stumbling, my brain shuts down and it's like I've forgotten everything about myself, about the people I care about. I can't even talk without stuttering or my words slurring. What purpose do I serve here, Cole." The question had turned into a statement. Cole couldn't even respond, he just squeezed Peter tighter.

"Why couldn't have the other two attempts worked? Why does God hate me?" His voice cracked at the last part, as he buried his face into Coles shoulder.

Cole took a deep breath. He knew exactly what he was talking about. "Peter.. " He brought his good arm, his left arm, up and gently stroked Peters ginger hair. It felt soft. Like the spirit bears fur, he thought.

"Peter," He squeezed his scrawny body. "I don't know what much to say," He glanced at his bad arm, just barely being capable of hugging someone, the scars that ran through it.

"When I was attacked by the spirit bear," He started, "I felt.. So angry. Like my mind didn't have any room for sadness, or for rational thoughts. Only after I'd layed in my own blood, feces, vomit, and self pity for almost two days straight did I really think about things. I thought about my mother," He paused. "My father, my life, and you. I think I only survived that long because of my dedication to survive. I wanted to change. I wanted to be a better person, to fix things with you. My mother. Garvey. Edwin." He took a deep breath and let the tears flow. "I  found a will to live, for once in my Life I thought of others and not of myself. It hurt so bad, the scars are proof of that. But I still wanted to survive. Peter, you need to find your reason for living. Your own motivation to keep you alive. I completely deserved being mauled by that bear. In fact, I'm so grateful for it. Without that incident, I'd still be my delinquent and trouble making self. I'd be sent to prison for the rest of my life, I'd never know true happiness. So maybe your story is different then mine. You didn't deserve anything I did to you," His voice broke. He pulled away slightly and put his forehead up to Peters. His face was red and his eyes were puffy, he'd been crying for so long.

"Nothing will ever fix your headaches, or your slurring, your walk, your nightmares. Nothing will ever fix the pain in my chest anytime I cough, the scars that burn so much when barely touched, or the lack of mobility in my right arm. But we can find something, anything to make life worth living, can't we?"

Peter sniffled and kept his gaze down. "Your life is worth living, Peter. Your way more then some disabled kid. You cant change unless you want to change." He said softly. "I'm so sorry for what I've done. I'm so sorry for who I once was, I'm so so sorry. Ill never forgive myself, for as long as I live I'll always hold regret inside me." He hugged Peter once again, as they both embraced each other and let their emotions out.

They cried for a few hours, until eventually Peter couldn't squeeze out any more tears and slept, still cuddled up next to Cole. "It's okay," He mumbled in his sleep. "I forgive you."

Cole couldn't help but sniffle and smile, before eventually falling asleep himself in that position. Although Peter was always a scrawny kid, His body had warmth that calmed Cole. Almost like the spirit bear. Maybe the spirit bear and him were not so different from him and Peter. The spirit bear hurt him, bad. But Cole forgave it. Cole hurt Peter bad. But he forgave him as well.

And for once, for both of the boys, there dreams were no longer interrupted by nightmares or regret.