"Every cell in the human body regenerates on average every seven years. Like snakes, in our own way we shed our skin. Biologically we are brand new people. We may look the same, we probably do, the change isn't visible at least not in most of us, but we are all changed completely forever. When we say things like "People don't change" it drives scientists crazy. Because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy, matter, it's always changing. Morphing. Merging. Growing. Dying. It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication, that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change, that's up to us. It can feel like death, or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again" 

"sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough. i don't know why"

Meredith and Derek got out of the elevator and fell into step with Cristina and Lucy. "Derek got arrested again", Meredith stated. "Reckless endangerment". "How have you not lost your licence yet?" Lucy asked.

"Oh, he won't because they don't charge him because the cops worship him"

"Because I saved some of their lives", Derek said. "You're too privileged for your own good", Lucy said.

Aurora, Beck and Kelly were leaning against the nurses station, looking through a bridal magazine. "Alright, out with it, what are we picking?" Beck said. "Right now, I'm looking at dresses", Aurora replied. "I'm thinking a nice ivory. No veil. Something simple. No big venue. No big spectacle. Simple. Meredith offered up her house. After everything that's happened, I think I need simple. Kelly, what do you think?" Kelly snapped out of her daze. "Huh? Yeah, sounds good", she said. Aurora and Beck shared concerned looks.

The doctors were gathered in the main area of the hospital when Derek entered with April and they all applauded. "Thank you all very much", Derek said. "First of all, I'd like to thank Dr Webber for stepping up in my absence. Thank you. I'm grateful for all of you, for all of your support during my recovery. Thank you. It's just so great to be back as chief. I'm grateful for the... I'm sorry. That's a lie. It's what people say and the truth is...I hate being chief. I hate it. Chief Webber. Chief Webber is our chief. And I'm sorry, but this giant... Sorry, I've got to go look at this chordoma. I'm sorry, but...I quit". Everyone looked shocked but Bailey started laughing.

Lucy was with Alex as Teddy checked his bullet wound. "How is it?" Lucy asked. "The bullet's at the surface. That's good. I can take it out now", Teddy replied.

"Oh, that's great"

"No, I mean, if it's not infected, I'm gonna keep it", Alex said.

"What are you talking about?"

"It's my war wound"

"Your war wound?"

"I just wanna keep it, ok?"

He got up and left. Lucy sighed. "Give him time, he'll come around", Teddy reassured.

"Yeah"

Beck was with Dr Perkins. "So, did you hear about the wedding?" she asked him.

"I did"

"Cool. Did you hear Dr Shepherd isn't the chief anymore?"

"And how are you, Dr Jacobs?"

"We don't need to talk about me. I got shot, I was sad. Now I'm not. The end"

"Don't you think there is a little more to it than that?"

"Not particularly, no"

"Do you always handle trauma this well?"

"I'm a foster kid, sir, my whole life's a trauma"

The residents were in a group therapy session. "Does anyone have anything to say?" Perkins asked. "I know that a lot of you are only here because this has been mandated. "So, let's talk. Anything at all?" "I ate a really good taco,'' Cristina said. "From one of those trucks by the side of the road". "When?" Meredith asked.

"Last night. You were asleep"

"Which truck? The one on Seventh?" Lucy asked. "I want to go. I like tacos", Alex added. "Me, too", Aurora said. Kelly stared into space. "I told that guy everything about myself", Beck said. "Before he shot me. I told him things I haven't told Kelly or Aurora. And he still wanted to kill me just for doing my job. He shot me". Tears filled her eyes as she tried to catch her breath. "He tried to kill me, he shot me", she gasped. "I have to get out of here". She scrambled out of her chair and rushed out. Aurora got up and followed her. She found her sobbing on the floor outside the room. She pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry", Aurora whispered.

"He should've killed me"

Lucy was with Perkins. "So, your husband was shot. Was that hard for you?" he asked her.

"Yes. Very, um, we were separated at the time. When he got shot, I helped him into the elevator. I laid on his chest because I thought it was going to be the last time I ever got to touch him. He won't talk to me about any of it. He won't even let Dr Altman take out his bullet. I don't know what to do anymore"

"It's a trauma response. He's in denial of it ever happening"

Lucy was holding Alex's hand as he slept in his room at Seattle Pres. He slowly opened his eyes to see a teary-eyed Lucy smiling at him. "You're here", he whispered.

"Of course, I'm here"

"I love you"

"I love you, too. I'm never gonna leave you again, ok? We're gonna be ok"

"Yeah, we're gonna be ok"

Kelly was with Perkins. "I lost a friend that day. Kate, her name was Kate", Kelly whispered.

"And how was that for you?"

"Pretty shitty. I mean, how does someone like her die? She's so sweet and kind and...good. She didn't deserve that"

"Do you think you did?"

"No. No, I don't. None of us deserved it. Mark and I had just gotten back together. I was so happy that day"

"And how are you two now?"

"I don't know. I'm not really feeling anything at the moment. I feel numb to everything. It's like the shooting was so big, I can't imagine much worse happening"

"What about the incident last week?"

Mark and Alex were working on a patient when Kelly frantically rushed over. "My patient didn't bring her meds", she said. "And she doesn't even know their names. If I give her albuterol and she's on propranolol, then she'll stop breathing. If I give her warfarin and she's on ibuprofen, then she'll...then she'll bleed out. If I give her diphenhydramine and she's on doxepin, then she'll die. Do you think she wants to die?" "Is she kidding?" Mark's patient asked. "Karev, what's going on over there?" Mark asked. "I think she wants to die. I think she wants me to kill her", Kelly said, before turning to her patient. "Do you... Do you want me to kill you? Because you could just get a gun and it would be a lot faster. You know what? Why doesn't somebody find a gun?"

She started knocking things over. "Bring her a gun and just shoot her because she obviously wants to die!" she yelled. "She wants to die! Somebody find something!"

Mark burst into Dr Perkins' office during Alex's session. "You cleared Kelly Ripa for surgery?" Mark asked. "Dr Sloan, I'm in session", Perkins replied.

"I had to check her into psych last week. I had to check my girlfriend into psych. I had to commit her against her will. And you just clear her for surgery? What the hell kinda doctor are you?"

Kelly appeared behind him and Mark turned around. "It's ok. You can talk to him", she said. "I'll come back", Alex said, before leaving. "She got snowed", Perkins explained. "Psych put her on heavy doses of antipsychotics and benzos and then she slept for almost 50 hours straight. When she woke up, she was no longer a risk to herself or others. I mean, she has PTSD. Most of you do. For her, it caused severe sleep deprivation and led to a breakdown. All she needed was sleep. So protocol is that she goes back to work". "I told you, I'm fine. I'm back", Kelly said.

The residents were having lunch in the tunnels. "I dig weddings. I do a mean chicken dance", Jackson said. "There will be no chicken dance", Beck replied. "It's my wedding", Aurora said.

"I'll make sure there's no chicken dance, trust me. And no conga line. I will make it my business to throw out anyone who starts a conga line"

April came over with her lunch tray. "I just went to the cafeteria and some nurse called me Reed and then said, "I thought you died", she said. "Yeah, you don't go to the cafeteria for lunch. They just point and stare", Beck said. "They stare because we should've died". Alex came in holding something behind his back. He pulled out a yellow piece of paper and laughed. "You are kidding me! You got cleared?" Meredith exclaimed. Lucy hugged Alex and looked at his paper. "It's down to you, Cristina and Aurora now", Lucy commented. "Well, Perkins is no dummy", Cristina said. "He can see the crazy right under the Meredith Grey surface".

"Cristina, that's not funny. You mightn't get cleared either"

"And us and Aurora are gonna be serving slushies at the multiplex", Meredith added. "I'd choose dermatology over multiplex,'' Cristina said. "Me, too", Aurora agreed. "No, I'd go gynecology over dermatology", Jackson said. "Of course you would, perv", Beck said, shoving him playfully. He shoved her back. "Ugh, get a room", Cristina exclaimed. "I think I'd go with psych", Kelly said and everyone stared at her. Kelly sighed. "That was a joke", she said. They all fake laughed. "Anyway, I don't know what Perkins' problem is with me", Meredith continued. "Maybe he saw your file", Lucy said. "Maybe he knew your mother", Alex added. "Maybe he heard how you told the shooter to shoot you", Beck said. "Not funny", Meredith said.

"Not a joke"

Bailey approached them. "Dr Bailey", Lucy greeted. "Welcome back". She stared at them for a few moments. "You ok?" Alex asked. "I'm happy to see you all", she said. "Karev, Shepherd! There's a patient in 2304 that needs an endoscopy. Grey and Yang, surely your paycheck covers more than stuffing your face in the basement. Get to the clinic, now. And you guys...I'm awfully sorry about the loss of your friends". "Thank you", they all murmured. "2213 has a bowel impaction and I'm sure as hell not about to stick my hands in there", she continued.

Aurora was fidgeting with her bridal magazine as she and Perkins sat in silence. "Well, Dr Sloan, if you don't feel ready there's no pressure", Perkins said. "The hospital is prepared to work with you in whatever way...".

"I'm sorry. I'm getting special treatment? Because, why, I had a gun to my head. My boyfriend got shot. What is it? Because one of my friends actually got shot and another died so... If you don't want to clear me, don't clear me"

"You didn't show up for your appointment last week. You were very late today"

"I'm getting married"

"I heard that. Congratulations"

"Thanks. Are we done here?"

"No"

"The women in these magazines. All smiling. Like the only thing that matters is that they find the perfect show to match that dress. The simple life. I've never really thought about if I wanted the simple life or not? It never even crossed my mind until a gun was held to my head. Now, I know. I want the simple life. I want to be simple. I want to get married to a simple guy. And have some simple kids. And live in a simple house with a simple garden. I just want everything to be simple. Because no one holds a gun to the head of a simple girl"

Owen tried to open the door of Kelly and Aurora's apartment but it was chained. Aurora, who was on the couch, jumped at the noise. "Who is it?" she asked.

"It's me. It's Owen"

She came to the door and unlocked it. "You're late", she said.

"I'm sorry"

She turned around and sat back on the couch. "Hey", he said gently.

"It's not ok"

He sat down next to her. "Aurora, what is this?" he asked.

"I don't want to be alone"

"You don't ever have to be alone again. I'm not going anywhere, Aurora. I won't ever leave again. You hear me? I'm not going anywhere. Aurora"

He held up an engagement ring. "If you'll let me stay", he whispered. She took the ring and slipped it on. "Thank you. I love you", she whispered.

"I love you too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was late"

She hugged him tightly.

Kelly and Mark were walking home, hand in hand when suddenly, her eyes filled with tears. Mark noticed and they stopped walking. "I'm sorry", she whispered.

"Don't be sorry. It's okay, I know you're struggling"

"That's not why I'm sorry"

"Kelly, no, don't..."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I am barely holding on right now and I don't know how, but you're fine. I can't deal with fine. Because I can't keep making you stay up all night with me while I have a panic attack or cry about the fact that everything has gone to crap. I can't let you do this"

"Kelly, I want to do this"

"I know, that's why you're so great. But it's not your decision and I say you're not doing this. I'm sorry"

Beck was charting at the nurses station when Jackson came over to her. "Come with me", he said.

"What?"

"Come with me"

He grabbed her hand and led her up to the roof. It was decorated with fairy lights. "I kept remembering what you'd told me after you got shot and I decided after all that I think you need to feel invincible", he said. She suddenly started crying. "Beck, I'm sorry", he whispered, touching her shoulder but she shrugged him off. "Can you just leave him alone, please?" she whispered. He nodded, put his jacket over shoulders and left.

Lucy was in the kitchen dressed up for the wedding when Alex came in. "You look great", he smiled.

"Thank you. So do you. Look, about the bullet..."

"Lucy, come on..."

"We're gonna talk about it later. For now, let's just enjoy the wedding, ok? Come on, I'll get you a beer"

Beck approached Owen who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "Are you ok?" she asked him.

"Yes. I'm feeling good"

"Good. Listen, I am not sorry for the things that I said to you but I am gonna be nice to you from now on because I know that she loves you"

"I appreciate that. Is she ready?"

"Kelly and I are gonna go check on her and get this show on the road"

Beck and Kelly entered Meredith's bedroom where Aurora stood on the bed in her dress. They stepped onto the bed and joined her. "You ready?" Beck asked. "Of course", Aurora smiled. "How's Owen?"

"Ready as well. Let's do this"

Aurora grabbed both of their hands and smiled.

Owen watched with a smile as he watched Aurora come down the stairs with Beck and Kelly following behind her. Once they got to the bottom of the stairs, Beck and Kelly both kissed Aurora's cheek and retreated into the living room. Owen and Aurora smiled at each other before taking each other's hands and walking into the living room. They made their way to the minister and looked at each other as he started talking. Mark stared at Kelly who watched the wedding tearfully. Jackson let his knuckle brush off Beck's and she grabbed his hand, interlocking their fingers. Alex stared at Lucy who looked at him and then looked away. Owen and Aurora turned to each other, smiling. They slipped the rings on each other's fingers. "I do", Aurora said. They kissed and everyone clapped.

After the wedding, Alex and Lucy were cleaning up in silence in the kitchen. "I think it's bullshit", Lucy blurted.

"What?"

"You, keeping that stupid bullet in your chest. It's bullshit"

"Come on, it's badass"

"That is such a lie and you know it. I think you are completely in denial of it ever happening. I think you want to pretend it never happened but Alex, it did. It did"

"You're not my therapist, alright? You're my wife so try acting like it"

"I am! I am trying to help you"

"I can handle it by myself. It's you who can't handle it"

"I can handle it just fine. If it was me, the bullet would be gone by now"

"Well, if you can handle being shot so well, maybe it should've been you at the other end of that gun instead of me"

Her face fell and she stormed out of the house. He sighed and put his head in his hands. He heard a knock at the door and went to answer it. He opened the door, revealing Lucy. She hugged him. "I'm sorry", he whispered into her hair.

"I know. I know you are"

She pulled away. "But you're just not ready for this", she said, holding his face. She sighed before walking away.

Lucy knocked on Callie, Beck and Cristina's apartment door. Callie answered it. "Hey", she greeted.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course"

Lucy nodded tearfully and Callie pulled her in for a hug. 

hope you enjoyed! comment your opinions! song is born to die by lana del rey