"The human body is a highly pressurised system. The blood pressure measures the force of blood, pulsating through the arteries. It's important to keep this pressure regulated. Low or inadequate pressure can cause weakness or failure. It's when the pressure gets too high... that problems really occur. If the pressure continues to increase, a closer examination is called for... Because it's the best indicator that something is going terribly wrong. Every pressurised system needs a relief valve. There has to be a way to reduce the stress, the tension, before it becomes too much to bear. There has to be a way to find relief, because if the pressure doesn't find a way out... it'll make one. It will explode. It's the pressure we put on ourselves... that's the hardest to bear. The pressure to be better than we are. The pressure to be better than we think we can be. It never ever lets up. It just builds and builds and builds" 

"if it didn't kill me then i'm half alive"

Cristina and Beck were sitting in their new apartment surrounded by boxes.

Teddy was giving a presentation on her patient Roy in the lecture room. "When a heart wasn't available, I opted to continue Roy Henley's lung transplant...", she explained. "It's all in your head", Kelly said from beside Jackson. "My name isn't on the OR board", he replied. "I checked the schedule, nobody wants to work with me because I'm not on anybody's service".

"It's an oversight. Just ask around"

"Do you know how many things I've screwed up in the last month?"

"Stop it. I'm serious. Just ask around, and get on someone's service and get back to work", Meredith snapped. Alex came in in his regular clothes and sat down next to Lucy. "You smell like you're sweating booze. Where have you been?" Meredith asked. "I want the weekend you had", Jackson commented. "What happens in Vegas, you know?" Alex said. Lucy caught his eye and he looked down. "Hey, who's Stark? I'm supposed to be on Stark's service today", Alex said. "Me, too! He's the new Peds attending, since Robbins left", April said. Lucy squinted her eyes at her. "Crap. I can't handle a bunch of sick kids today. I can't do it", Alex sighed. "Well, maybe you should go back to whatever you're doing in Vegas", Lucy said. "So was it a bachelor party?" April asked but Meredith shushed her. "They're talking about Cristina", she said. "It became clear to Dr Yang that they were gonna need to switch modalities", Teddy continued. "The patient was put on ECMO...". "And why did Dr Yang opt to use the intra-aortic balloon pump over an RVAD?" one of the doctors asked.

"I can't answer for Dr Yang"

"And why isn't she here?"

"She... She quit. She left the program"

"I'm sorry, what? She what?" Mark said, leaning forward in his seat.

"Dr Yang cleared the balloon pump with Dr McQueen, who agreed that it was the best..."

Mark stood up. "Go back. Go back", he said. "Yang quit the program?" "Where have you been?" Derek asked. "If we could just finish the presentation...", Teddy said. "I have a question", Derek said. "Can you tell us about your decision to put Dr Yang in charge of this patient?"

"Sorry?"

"But she didn't "quit" quit, right?" Mark asked. Aurora sunk down in her chair in embarrassment. Mark turned around. "Grey? Shepherd?" he asked, causing everyone to turn around and look at them. "Oh, goodie, they're all looking at us,'' Lucy muttered.

"You're joined at the hip, what'd she say?"

"She hasn't really spoken to us about it", Meredith replied. They all continued to stare. "Stop looking at us. Look up there", Lucy said, and they all turned back around. "Does Torres know anything about this? Where's Jacobs, Aurora?" Mark asked. "She quit, too", Aurora replied.

"What? I'm calling Torres"

He left the room. "Can we please just...", Teddy said. "I guess I'm asking you, why did you choose to put Dr Yang under so much pressure that day?" Derek asked.

"I didn't. I intended the opposite. I gave her a simple pre-op checklist on a stable patient"

"Stable patient? The patient almost died twice"

"I couldn't have seen that coming. I'm sorry, is this a patient presentation, or a post-mortem on Dr Yang?"

"Well, you saved the patient"

Holly appeared in the doorway of the residents lounge where Alex was. "Hey, stranger", she smiled, causing him to turn around. He laughed as he picked her up and spun her around. The minute he put her down, she smacked his arm. "Idiot!" she exclaimed.

"What was that for?"

"You and Lucy broke up?"

"Oh, right"

Jackson, April, Kelly, Aurora, and Lexie were at the nurses station. "Grey, who are you with today?" Jackson asked Lexie. "Shepherd", Lexie replied.

"Damn it! I've already blown it with Shepherd, I can't ask him. Bailey, I haven't blown it with her yet"

"He thinks no one wants to work with him", Kelly explained. "Are they saying that, or are you saying that?" Aurora asked. "Who are you with again?" Jackson asked April. "Karev. I mean Stark", April said.

"No, you meant Karev. And you don't want to go there"

"You don't know where I'm going"

"He's right, you don't want to go there", Aurora added.

"I'm not going anywhere!"

"He's not the guy for you. Ok? Trust me", Lexie said, before walking away. "Plus, he's married", Aurora stated. "Yeah, you definitely don't wanna go there", Jackson said, taking out his phone. The three women peaked over his shoulder to see him checking to see if Beck had called him or sent him any messages. "Oh, but it's ok for you to go there?" April asked. "I'm a guy, I live there", he said, typing "I hope you're ok", and sending it. "Yeah, well, it's never gonna happen", Kelly said. "You need to let it go". Aurora nodded along. "I gotta find Bailey", he sighed before walking away. "Never gonna happen", Aurora said. Kelly murmured in agreement.

"What the hell happened?" Holly asked Alex.

"First of all, she left me with a letter"

"Ok, not great"

"Then she came back and I said no"

"Right"

"Then I got shot"

"I remember"

"So we decided just because I almost died, we should get back together. And we had a fight and long story short, I told her it would've better if she got shot because she told me I couldn't handle it"

"Well, you couldn't"

"I know that!"

"Then she broke up with me"

"What's stopping you now, then?"

He was silent.

Callie entered Cristina and Beck's apartment. "Hello? Cristina? Beck?" she called. She found them dancing around to very loud music. "Oh, hey. Hello?" she called again. "Hello! Hello!" They turned around and saw Callie. Beck turned off the music. "What are you doing here?" Cristina asked. "I'm not back until next week", Callie replied. "So it's true? You guys broke up? She's in Africa?" Beck said.

"Ok. Sloan told me that you both quit"

Beck faltered for a moment and started to lose her breath. Cristina noticed and turned the music back on. They both started dancing. "Hey! What are you doing?" Callie yelled. "This! Go away!" Cristina yelled back.

"Ok, this is disturbing. Hey, stop!"

Beck sighed and turned the music off. "Look, we were unpacking, but then we didn't enjoy it", Beck explained. "What are you doing?" Cristina asked Callie. "What do you mean?" Callie said.

"You don't have a job to go to. You don't have a girlfriend telling you you have to go to Africa. You're completely free, do whatever you want"

"The world is your oyster. Make lemonade!" Beck exclaimed. "I'm trying. I was gonna get my hair cut today", Callie said. "Like, make a radical change. But then I thought...maybe you shouldn't do radical things right after a blond woman has ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it". Beck grabbed the scissors out of Cristina's hands and went behind Callie and cut a chunk of her hair off. "What are you...? Oh, my God! What are you doing?!" Callie exclaimed but Beck and Cristina just giggled. "Are you insane?!" "Let's make lemonade", Beck said, holding up the chunk of hair. Beck and Cristina laughed and Callie started to smile. "Oh, my God", she muttered.

Callie was sitting in a chair with Beck and Cristina behind her while Beck cut her hair. "How's it going?" Callie asked. "Can I see?" "Fantastic, shut up", Cristina replied.

"Ok... You know what you need? To get this place done? You need to throw a housewarming party. Put a little pressure on yourselves"

"We should throw a housewarming party!" Beck exclaimed. "Yes!" Cristina said. Cristina and Beck ran over to Cristina's phone as Callie checked her hair in the mirror. "Oh, my God! No!" Callie said. "Tonight! I'll text everyone!" Cristina said.

"No!"

"Yes! I have several credit cards and nothing to do"

"And I would love to watch you spend all your money", Beck added. "This is not what I wanted", Callie said. "I look... I look injured. Do you even cut hair?"

"Ooh, we need furniture!"

"Look at my hair!"

"Yeah, I sort of can't believe you let me do that"

"Beck!"

"It's ok, we'll go to the mall!" Cristina suggested. "You might want a hat", Beck said to Callie.

Callie, Cristina and Beck were at a furniture store in the mall. "How can you not talk to Meredith and Lucy about this? They're your best friends", Callie said. "And you with Kelly and Aurora?" "I love that lamp", Cristina commented.

"You can't just cut yourself off from a person, pretend your whole relationship never happened. I mean, you can, but it makes you a heartless, soulless monster who I thought I knew, but I really didn't"

"With wheels on her shoes", Beck added.

"Oh, God, how was I ok with that? I used to be a lot cooler than that. I was a lot cooler when I was single"

"You were hardly ever single", Cristina said. Callie started laughing. "I know. I know", she chuckled. "I'm actually excited to spend time on my own". She looked in a mirror and sighed. "Ok, I thought we were going to a hair salon", she said. "Next. We're doing apartment decorating now", Beck said. An employee approached them. "Can I help you find something?" he asked. "Yes. I will take that", Cristina said, pointing at the living room display in front of them.

"That sofa?"

"That room. All of it. I'll take it. You do same day delivery, right?"

He nodded.

"Great"

Alex, Jackson, Lucy, April, Lexie and Aurora were in the cafeteria for lunch. Alex had a ping-pong ball shooter. Kelly came over to the table and Alex shot her with a ping-pong ball. "Ow!" she exclaimed. "Ok, since when is it ok to shoot people in this hospital?" "Now, Bailey's given up on me, too", Jackson complained. "You're on her service", Kelly said. "Why are you still freaking out?"

"No, Bailey's in surgery. She trusts me to watch a post-op drip fluid in a bag every ten minutes"

Alex shot a ping-pong ball at Alex. "Inappropriate! You need to relax", Aurora said. "You get an easy day, you take it". Alex shot her with a ping-pong ball and she groaned. "Give me... Give it to me", she said, ripping it out of his hands and shooting him. "Jerk-face", he muttered. "He's having a rough day", April defended. "New Robbins is no Robbins". "Why do you care what kind of day he's having, April?" Lucy asked. Meredith came over with a yoghurt and a security guard following her. "Check this out", she said. "Armed escort to get a yoghurt". "Ok, who is it? Is it Bono?" Lucy said. "It's totally Bono. It's all over the hospital", Kelly said. "It's not Bono", Meredith said. "Are you going to Cristina and Beck's tonight?" Lucy asked.

"I don't know"

Lucy took the ping-pong ball gun out of Aurora's arms and shot Meredith. "Hey!" Meredith reprimanded, picking the ball off the floor. "Not ok". She threw it back at her. "Ok, that's addicting", Lucy giggled. "Put it away before my guy wrestles you to the ground", Meredith said. Alex picked up the fallen ping-pong ball and rushed off. "What's his problem?" Meredith asked. "He's having a rough day", April replied. Lucy rolled her eyes and shot her with a ping-pong ball. The security guard cleared his throat behind Meredith. "Jeez, I'm coming", she said. She walked off with him following behind her. Lucy shot the security guard and he turned around. Jackson pointed at her. Lucy put her hands behind her head and he walked off.

Callie was in the salon chair with a hairdresser behind her and Cristina and Beck were waiting on a bench nearby. "I want it sort of like bad-ass, you know? A little dangerous, unpredictable", Callie explained to the hairdresser. "Did you bring a picture?" he asked.

"It's more of a feeling"

"What do they do all day, the mall people? Look at them", Beck said, watching the people around them as she and Cristina ate frozen yoghurt. "They move so slowly. They all mosey", Cristina added. "Look!" "Yeah, I can't turn my head", Callie said. "Do they just eat things and buy things and complain about their breakups?" Beck wondered. "Yes", the hairdresser answered. "Fantastic. Look at that lady", Cristina said. "She's just gonna eat that pretzel. That's all she's gonna do". "So, what are you gonna do? You're just gonna become a mall person?" Callie asked. "Shop and eat?" "This yoghurt's pretty good", Beck shrugged.

"I'm serious"

Beck started fidgeting with her fingers. "We're getting pretzels", Cristina said, dragging Beck away.

Cristina and Beck were now sitting in the newly-furnished apartment drinking wine while Callie set up for the party. "We are awesome", Cristina stated. "I can't believe we did all this". "I did all this. You opened one bottle of wine", Callie said. "Can you find where the napkins are, please?" "Hello?" Derek called, entering the apartment.

"Not ready!"

"Hi"

"Hey, if you're here for the party, you're like way too early", Beck commented.

"I'm not here for the party"

"Are you here to tell me to come back?" Cristina asked.

"No, but a bunch of other people are coming to tell both of you to come back"

Beck shook her head. "They can't... They can't do that", she faltered. "Tell them not to. Please. I can't do this". She put her head in her hands.

Jackson was drinking in the kitchen. "You got room for one more?" Beck asked, standing in the doorway. "Always", he smiled, handing her a glass and pouring a drink. "Cheers", she said, clinking their glasses and throwing the shot down her throat.

Mark was waiting at the door when Meredith, Teddy, Owen, Aurora and Lucy entered. "Welcome. Wine's on the table, beer's in the fridge", he said. "Why are you hosting?" Aurora asked.

"Well, since you're such an expert, I'll hand over the hosting duties to you"

"Where's Cristina?" Lucy asked.

"Haven't seen her. Which is sort of rude. Torres might know, hang on"

"I'll come with you"

Mark and Lucy went over to where Callie was lying on a bed. "Callie, Yang say where she was...", Mark began, but stopped when he realised how drunk she was. He and Lucy sat on either side of her. "Can I move in with you?" Callie asked Mark. "That might be the rebound talking", Lucy commented.

"Not like that, not that. Just till I can get rid of the sub-letter in my place. I'm starting from scratch. And I don't want to do it alone. Can't we be alone together? Isn't it easier to be single in pairs?"

"How about in threes?"

"What about you and Karev?"

"Yeah, that's not happening anymore. He's probably gonna screw Kepner or something"

"Fine, we will be single in threes"

"Is this a riddle?" Mark asked.

"No, I'm drunk. Come on. Can I?"

"Sure"

"Yay!"

"Your hair is hot"

"Right?"

"It really is", Lucy agreed. Callie shook her head, showing off and laughing.

"You need to stop being so hard on yourself", Beck said.

"I've messed it up on almost every service I've been on"

"But you haven't quit yet. That's gotta count for something, right?"

"Why did you quit?"

"I'm not talking about this with you?"

"Why not?"

"'Cause no. We're not talking about it. Let's talk about something else"

"Fine"

"Ooh, I've got a good idea"

She grabbed his face and kissed him. They continued kissing until they heard someone crying nearby. They pulled away and turned around to see April crying in front of Owen. Jackson went over to her and brought her to the kitchen.

Alex and Holly entered the apartment and saw April with Jackson and Beck. April looked down and Jackson turned to Alex with an angry face. "Jackson, don't", Beck said. "Listen. Just let me talk to her", Alex said but Jackson punched him. Lucy stood up in shock. Jackson knocked Alex to the floor, breaking the coffee table and continued punching him. Owen and Mark pulled him off of Alex. Alex tried to lunge at Jackson but Holly and Meredith pulled him back. "Let's go. Outside", Holly said, dragging him by the arm.

Beck was in the kitchen with Jackson, icing his hand. He stared at her for a few moments. "Was it hard for you? To quit, to just walk away?" he asked.

"I told you I don't want to talk about this with you. Why are you asking?"

He looked down.

"Oh, please, you're not quitting. Besides, you might have just gotten yourself fired. Or arrested. Probably both"

"Yeah, well. April is the only friend I have left here. So..."

"Don't be stupid"

He smiled.

Alex and Holly were outside talking. "What the hell were you thinking? That is my sister. She is a virgin", Holly ranted. "Why would you do that?"

"I know. God"

Lucy came outside. "Can I borrow him for a minute?" she asked. "Of course", Holly replied, going back inside. "So, you tried to sleep with Kepner", she commented. "If you wanted it that bad, Alex, you could've just gone back to Vegas. There's a whole industry there".

"I didn't go to Vegas. I went to Iowa"

"You went to Iowa?"

"I went home. My brother, remember Aaron?"

"Yeah. Doctor said... He got diagnosed schizophrenic. Just like my mom. You know how they figured it out? He tried to kill our little sister. She's 16. She's a kid. And her brother tried to kill her. And my mom didn't do anything 'cause she's off her meds and... Anyway, I was in Iowa. That's where I went. To my brother's commitment hearing. I had to commit him. Whatever"

"It was good that you were there"

"I wasn't there. I wasn't. I showed up, I held my sister's hand in the hospital for like ten minutes, I shoved some pills down my mom's throat, I signed my brother into a nuthouse. Then I got the hell out of there as fast as I could. I wasn't there. I'm the ass who can't stand to be there"

They stood in silence for a few moments. She walked over to him. To be closer to him. She intertwined their fingers. "I've really missed you", he whispered, touching their foreheads together.

"I've missed you, too"

They rubbed their noses together once, twice before their lips met. 

hope you enjoyed! comment your opinions! song is something's gotta give by camila cabello