I never want to talk about love
because love never wants
to talk about me

Red thread// Zeno

.

15th January 1951
The temporary South Korean headquarters.

RAIN DROPS repetitively hit the small windows, as the deep voice of one of the soldiers echoed in the room, waking up for the last time the few people who were still daydreaming.
The glitching pendant lamps kept swinging from left to right, their light being, at this point, useless.

All the men's attention was on the speaking male, well... everyone's except Jaehyun's.
The boy's eyes were glued on the dirty, yet wet glass, that offered a mediocre view of what was outside the small building.

Lost in the poor scenery, he couldn't help but to be strayed in his thoughts. It's been a while since he grieved the loss of his lover, but he actually felt like time was never enough to recover fully.
An aching pain in his heart, that didn't want to disappear anytime soon.

He finally decided to leave the dying nature and focus back on his fellow, who stepped back a bit, smiling in the process

«Some of you may not be happy, some may not even care, but I'm glad to introduce you a person I really look up to... He'll be with us throughout the war and he'll do his best to grant us reassurance and emotional support.
Father Lee...»

A man suddenly made his appearance, startling some of the soldiers, as his imponent steps filled the silent room.
Dressed as a priest, the male analyzed the small crowd in front of him with attentive eyes. His hands firmly holding an old scratched Bible.
A little sincere smile then appeared on his face, while introducing himself and bowing down deeply.

Jaehyun curiously looked at the man's figure, wondering what was the need of a priest's presence in a place like the borders. He didn't have anything against Christianity tho, he was a believer himself. It's just that the two things really couldn't match up together in his mind.

«I am here to help you guys as thamks for all the hard work you put into the protection of our great nation..!»

Father Lee said happily, receiving nods and cheerful exclamations from very few soldiers.

His gaze then met Jaehyun's one, who literally froze on his seat. It was hard to maintain the contact, but he still kept trying. A mix of emotions slowly crawled into him, making him feel sad and pitiful.
He tried not to cry, as the older male eventually shifted his attention to another person.

Why did the eye contact with the priest made him feel in that way?
The young man really didn't know and that kind of scared him.

Jaehyun then noticed that someone just sat next to him, he quickly turned around only to see Taeyong cutely waving at him. The younger waved back, raising his eyebrows and waiting for the latter to speak

«He looks like a good person to me.»

He calmly confessed, while the two peacefully watched Father Lee cheerfully chatting with their mates.

The brown haired boy nodded in agreement, breathing deeply

«Yeah, but what are you trying to say exactly?»

He nonchalantly asked, knowing that his friend actually wanted to say more, but without hearing his opinion first.

He knew Taeyong too damn well to not be able to understand certain behaviours or certain attitudes.
They were just like a couple of brothers now, after all.

«Well, maybe you should try speaking to him... About her, you know...»

The shorter shyly whispered, as if he was afraid of the other's reaction.

Jaehyun on the other side didn't say anything, he instead kept staring at the group of people in front of him.
He wasn't angry. He wasn't offended,
but his silence meant nothing good and Taeyong knew that.

He was about to apologize for not minding his own business, when the younger finally decided to reply bitterly

«If I did, would that even make me feel better?»

«Yes, Jae. Trust me.»

«Yeah sure, that's easy to say...»

Jaehyun whispered to himself, bringing his legs to his chest and crossing his arms on them.

Burying his face, the male cool down, while the other one softly rubbed his back.

He hated being weak.

[...]

Father Lee solemnly went through the dark alleys, whistling an unknown melody, as his hand rested on his sides - his steps echoing.

The man knew perfectly where he was going, although it seemed like he was just wandering around, without a specific destination.
He walked past many opens doors, looking straight ahead, still not finding the room he was really searching.

Few more meters and then the middle-aged male came to an alt, in front of the bedrooms section of the small building.
Facing one of the entrances, the priest adjusted his clothing and finally cautiously entered the big allowance.
He looked at all the empty beds, looking for a particular one.
Once he found it, he approached the guy laying down on it, sitting at the edge.

Jaehyun immediately sat up, surprised by the sudden appearance of the man, as he gasped loudly, making him chuckle.

«I'm not that ugly, c'mon.»

Lee whined laughing, his head hanging low while the younger apologized to him giggling as well.

Soon the laughs ceased, as the priest's smile faded in a straight line and his face softened a bit. He placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, ready to say something

«When we were all in the other room, I saw that you were quite down and sad... What's the matter?»

Jaehyun felt tears forming at the corner of his eyes the same moment the man's soothing voice reached his ears. He hesitated on answering his question, but then he remembered Taeyong's suggestion and he eventually decided to give it a try

«My lover lost her life in a terrorist attack... She was just twenty-five years old, she had a beautiful life to live, but still, death decided to meet her so soon. She didn't have the chance to live like she deserved...»

The soldier's voice cracked, as he started crying loud like a baby, slowly falling into Father's Lee embrace.

«I will never be able to see her again... How am I supposed to live now?»

The male's desperation hurt the priest, who tried to calm hi down by whispering supportive words and by gently stroking his fluffy hair.

«You know Jaehyun, I would lie if I told you that this pain will vanish one day... Someone's death is an issue that can't be ignored so easily, it is a scar on our heart that will always hurt. Maybe sometime it will hurt a lot, maybe other times it'll hurt less. But what I'm trying to say Jaehyun, is that as long as you won't forget this person's existence, you have the right to carry on with your life. You must carry on with your life. Your dear one won't be mad at you if you do so, trust me.

I know this is not easy, but faith can help you. With God all things are possible, even recovering after a great loss like yours. So Jaehyun, let's join in prayers and let's hope Reira will rest in peace as she deserve.»

Faith? Jaehyun had always had faith.

Recover after such an issue? That, in his opinion, was impossible.

unedited.

Author's note:

Guys, if my christian ass bothers you, then I must ask you to live :')

The first part of this book will contain some parts related to religion and since I don't want people to feel uncomfortable, I decided to advice you!

What will you think will happen in the next chapter?