He passes out as he hits the ground.

At least, he thinks he does.

A numbness begins and ends as reality restarts, welcoming him with a harsh flare of pain that seeps under his plastron, setting fire to every nerve. His eyes snap open and he grits his teeth, waiting for his watery gaze to clear. He wonders if letting Donnie make the final blow hadn't been a good instinct.

He hasn't exactly been making any good choices as of late.

Leo painstakingly forces himself to rise, fighting to breathe as his throbbing arm is pulled protectively to his chest, world spinning when he sits up.

He remains on the floor as his vision settles, wincing when he spots the purplish-gray blotch on green skin.

Donnie definitely hadn't been pulling his punches.

He looks up at his younger brother, the abandoned katana lying untouched and unnoticed at his feet. Donnie's face is blank as he stares at him with the bo still outstretched, as though unable to comprehend what his older brother is doing on the ground.

Silence thickens around them and he tests the waters. "So... Feel better?"

The staff clatters to the floor. "Leo!" 

Donnie rushes to him and drops to his knees. Leo allows his doctor of a younger brother to lay a hand on his plastron, examining the new crack of his own making.
It's visibly nothing more than another scar to add to the collection, but Donnie fretfully examines it anyway. With an air of understanding, Leo allows himself some time to breathe, getting his thoughts together.

Once he comes to the same conclusion Leo has, Donnie's hands slowly stop trembling and he wordlessly turns his attention to Leo's arm. He doesn't lift his gaze as he probes the area with careful fingers, gingerly pushing down to check on the bone.

Even though the touch stings and his plastron throbs, the gentle examination has Leo's buzzing anxiety settling, the pain barely a concern. He's snapped out of it. It actually worked. Donnie seems to be his clear-headed self once more.

Leo's grateful beyond words, and he's not about to waste his chance. There's so much to talk about, too much plaguing his younger brother, and he's going to get to the root of it.

He has to focus on the task at hand; everything else can wait.

Donnie has no such dilemma. "No broke bones- I'm honestly shocked. Relieved, too, obviously, I- Does it hurt? No- wait, of course it hurts! By Darwin, Leo, I can't believe you let me do that! What were you thinking!?"

When he finally looks up to meet his eyes, his gaze is worried and mortified, completely void of the previous anger.

Leo offers a sheepish smile. "You said it would make you feel better."

Donnie stares at him incredulously before shaking his head. "You're insane." He releases his arm. "And this needs an icepack."

Leo grabs Donnie's hand before he can fully stand. "We're not done here."

Donnie frowns. "But-"

"It can wait." Leo nods to the floor in front of him. "Sit down."

After a few seconds of hesitation, his younger brother obediently sits, but not without making his opinions known. "This could be serious. The bone could be fractured and I'd need to work on a cast. For now, an icepack should calm the swelling."

Leo has a suspicion that he's exaggerating, but whether or not it's true, he knows for a fact that Donnie's only fishing for an excuse to get as far from him as possible. "The minute we're done talking, we can do whatever you want."

Donnie sighs, and now that the adrenaline from the spar was wearing down, Leo can see the exhaustion that has been smothered under anger. "I'm not sure what there is to talk about."

"Don." He waits until Donnie warily meets his gaze. "I'm sorry."

The genius appears taking off guard, his annoyance bleeding into confusion. "What?"

"I'm sorry." Leo repeats sincerely. "I've been unfair about... Well, everything."

Donnie shakes his head. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Blowing up? Injuring you? Talk about launching things out of proportion!" His shoulders slump in defeat. "There's no excuse."

Leo tries to interject but Donnie doesn't let him. "I guess I'm just- I'm frustrated and taking it out on you. I- You were right. Are right. Nothing I'm trying works." His voice cracks as he seems to fight to press on. "I-I'm failing Splinter, you, the guys- but I just- I just can't figure this out."

Leo's heart sinks. "You're not failing anyone, Dee."

"Yes, I am." His little brother's voice trembles. "All sensei wanted was his daughter back. I'm the only one who could do that. And if I couldn't give that to him, what kind of a son does that make me?"

"At least you tried-"

"Just trying isn't enough, Leo!" Donnie snaps, though there isn't a fight in his tone. It's more like a question, a desperate plea, as if he was asking his older brother why it had to be that way. "It will never be enough! You guys need results and I'm supposed to be able to give them to you!"

"You're not supposed to do anything." Leo sets a hand on his kneepad and Donnie abruptly scoots back from him, shaking his head and unconsciously raising an arm as if readying to defend himself. "You said it yourself! This is my role! It's my responsibility!"

"Donnie, I was worried and I wasn't thinking." Leo closes his hand into a fist, hating his brother's withdrawal. "I didn't mean it that way. I just thought you were giving up and I wanted to remind you why you were doing it, but I went about it all wrong and-"

"I know why I'm doing it, Leo. It's impossible to forget!" The passive-aggressive anger is back, but now Leo can see the raw pain that it's trying to shield. "I'm so tired of this! All of this! Working on the cure, having to solve the impossible again and again. I'm tired of trying harder and hard and still never being good enough and- and I'm tired of failing you- all of you over and over and over and I'm just- just tired!"

Donnie wipes at his eyes in a fruitless attempt to stop his tears and Leo can only watch helplessly as they're soaked by the purple mask. He wants to do or say something, but he doesn't want to risk upsetting him further.

His younger brother can't even look him in the eyes. "It's just so hard sometimes- knowing that everyone is counting on you and that lives could be in your hands, that the second you mess up everyone could- could look at you different because you've been able to provide other miracles in the past so why can't you pull off this one? And they'll always expect it again and again and again no matter how impossible and- and you just- you can't mess up, you can't fail, so your only choice is to-"

"Try harder and harder and pray you never do?"

Donnie faces him, the wetness of his mask turning the fabric under his eyes a darker shade of violet, and Leo softly finishes, "So you just keep pushing yourself because you know the moment you don't pull this off; they'll never see you the same again. You could have failed that one time that they needed you most, and now you'll only ever be a disappointment."

"I didn't want to be a disappointment." Donnie chokes as he curls in on himself, hugging his legs to his chest as he barely holds himself together. "First with Karai's retromutagen at the docks and now the brain worm- I-I've failed you and the others and Sensei- oh, Leo, you were right. I should have spent more time on the cure, should have tried harder, but now Karai's gone and I'll never get the chance to fix this, and everyone blames me and they have every right to, because it's my fault-"

"What!? Donnie, no!" Horror floods in Leo's chest as his mind races to catch up with everything flooding out. "Nobody blames you-"

"You do." Leo clamps his mouth shut when his little brother looks at him like a kicked puppy.

No, worse than that, he looks like an kicked puppy having been abandoned in a storm overnight by his owner, unable to understand what he'd done to deserve that treatment. Leo can barely hear him when he whispers, "You were in here almost every hour before- everything, to check on my progress with the brain worm. I-I haven't even seen a glimpse of you since we got back."

"I've been busy-" Leo catches himself before the familiar excuse can escape, forcing himself to take a minute and admit a selfish truth. "-avoiding... Everyone..."

Leo looks towards the door, fists clenching on his lap. "Not just you. I've been trying to figure out what happened that night. Where everything went so wrong. Maybe if we hadn't been arguing, we could have gone together when you thought April called, you know? Karai wouldn't have been able to separate us... Lure Splinter... She wouldn't have fallen."

His eyes harden when Donnie turns away shamefully. "But that doesn't mean she's gone and it's definitely not your fault."

The desperation returns. "You don't know that!"

"I do!" Donnie shakes his head, getting to his feet, and the leader blurts, "I do because it's my fault, Donnie!"

Donnie seems taken aback and the leader allows the guilt that he's been holding inside to come flooding out. "I'm the one that started the argument and got you riled up enough to leave! I'm the one who didn't stop Mikey from leaving to be poisoned! I should have suspected something, but I let my feelings blind me and put my team and family at risk! I'm why our father had to face Karai alone and why she ended up falling! It was all because of me!"

Donnie's denial is immediate. "You couldn't have known any of that would happen!"

"A leader is supposed to foresee bad events!" Leo argues in exasperation. "He's supposed to prevent them, not be the cause of them!"

"You can't be our leader all the time, Leo!"

"Anymore than you can be team genius for four nights straight!?"

"But you said-!"

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID!"

Donnie recoils violently and Leo places his palm on his forehead, forcing himself to breathe. "I know what I said. Okay? I know. I do. But I was wrong. I was worried about Karai, and I forgot to think about my little brother. You already have enough pressure on your shoulders and it was a jerk move for me to demand more from you."

Donnie is silent so Leo forges on. "I didn't want any of this. I didn't mean for you to take it this way, and it was stupid of me to say in the first place. There's no situation where your best isn't enough, and I'm sorry if we've- I've made you think otherwise."

Donnie slowly sits back down, and Leo's relieved to note that it's closer than his earlier position. "It's just..."

Leo waits patiently for him to sort out his thoughts. Donnie takes a steadying breath and then mutters. "It's... Difficult not to wonder if you were right, you know? Like, maybe I wasn't trying my hardest. Maybe... Maybe there was something I wasn't doing, and I still had more I could give."

"Donnie, you've always given your all for this family." Leo rubs the back of his neck. "Sometimes I'm surprised you don't just let us figure our own problems out."

Donnie rolls his eyes. "Like you guys could survive without me to solve the impossible."

"You don't have to."

Donnie offers a grateful smile, but Leo doesn't miss the way his body subconsciously slumps, tired eyes burdened with a realm of knowledge that Leo may never be able to comprehend. "We both know I do."

"Donnie-"

Donnie doesn't let him finish. "Do remember that phrase Splinter has about when things get hard? You know, the one-"

"It doesn't matter that the burden is heavy; it only matters that you carry it."

"Yeah." Donnie looks at the ground. "I hate that."

The leader doesn't respond because it feels disrespectful to their father, and Donnie cracks a hollow smile, peeking at him. "We're both seriously messed up, aren't we?"

Leo blinks. "What?"

"This whole self blame game between us." Donnie shakes his head. "Can we both just agree to share the blame? Or, I don't know, throw it all at Shredder? I'm sure he isn't losing any sleep over all this."

Leo actually likes that idea. "We need a bucket of bricks and a sharpie."

Donnie releases an airy laugh and Leo's stomach twists because as far as he knows, a laugh isn't supposed to sound sad. "Not exactly what I meant, but it would be satisfying. At the very least we could dent his precious kabuto."

Leo summons his courage and gets up, moving to settle on his knees in front of his little brother. Before he can figure out how to ask, Donnie's lurching forward to wrap his arms around his shell, leaning into the hug as if scared Leo will be the one to pull away.

Leo's position leaves him at the taller height and he's able to tuck Donnie's head under his chin, returning the embrace with his good hand. His other hand rests on Donnie's side, and he can feel the light trembling under his touch.

He can see the burns on pale skin clearly now, scars from Karai's trap that would take weeks to heal.

His vision blurs and he closes his eyes, trying to keep a semblance of control. He did this- at least, he was a part of it. All his younger brother wanted to do was help and he'd yelled at him for it. Even upset and furious, Donnie was still doing as he asked. What would have happened if he'd never come in here? How badly would he have hurt him?

He opens his eyes. "Dee?"

Leo receives a curious hum, something tired and content that makes his plaguing emotions soften their attack. "I'm sorry we've been putting so much pressure on you. You don't always have to have the answer, or the cure, and I'm sorry that we- I made you think you do. You're amazing, everything you do is amazing, and I'm grateful for everything you've done for this team and our family. I shouldn't have made you feel like your best wasn't good enough, because it is, and you've never been a disappointment or a failure, little brother."

Donnie's grip becomes as tight as his voice. "I'm sorry I can't figure out Karai's cure."

"You will." Leo mutters confidently. "At your own pace and during your own time."

"But what if-"

"And-" Leo interrupts, keeping his tone gentle, but firm. "When we find her again, if a cure isn't present, then we'll all figure it out from there. We're a team, and a family, so we'll handle this together. Okay?"

There's a long silence before Donnie finally whispers. "Okay."

His voice abruptly grows stronger as he lifts his head slightly, nudging his forehead against Leo's chin. "And you better believe that same goes for you, big bro. Just because something goes wrong, doesn't make it your fault. Being leader doesn't mean you can prevent every bad thing. You got us all out of those traps, didn't you?"

Leo nods, afraid to speak lest the emotions crumpled in his guts are to pour out, and Donnie seems to understand. His voice softens into something sheepish, hiding a secret to be shared only between them. "Splinter chose right when he made you leader, you know. I've never doubted that. So stop putting so much on your shoulders."

Leo can't help the wry smile. "You first."

Donnie scoffs and Leo chuckles, steadying his grip when he feels his younger brother lean a bit more weight against him. He's more then happy to help carry the invisible load, and they remain in the embrace, dwelling in the peace of the moment.

Eventually, the younger sighs and pulls away.

Leo gives him a worried look as he rubs at the wet area of his mask. Donnie offers a flimsy smile. "I think we need therapy. Actually, I think we all might need a therapist."

"We don't have a therapist, but we do have leftover pizza." Leo suggests as he returns the smile. He rubs the throbbing area on his arm. "And I wouldn't mind that icepack now."

"Oh, shoot!" Donnie's upright instantly and moves to examine the area. "It's discolored and swelling. Ugh, I knew this couldn't wait-"

He carefully pulls the leader to his feet and Leo allows his younger brother to tug him from the lab. He sends a curious look in the direction of the pit when he realizes the tv's off and their brothers are missing. Puzzling over where they might be as Donnie leads him into the kitchen, he allows himself to be practically shoved onto a stool.

An obedient patient to a point, he crosses his legs, throwing a thoughtful glance behind him and to the dojo. He can hear Donnie opening the freezer clearly, but not a single grunt or war cry from the dojo, so they aren't there.

Bedrooms are a possibility, but not a likely one considering that Mikey would have opted to take the alone time with Raph to spring some kind of prankenstien trap by now. Considering the lack of death threats and screams, his next conclusion is that they must have left the lair.

Wherever they currently are, Leo seriously hopes that they aren't doing anything stupid, or at the very least, they're keeping their stupid within the safety of the sewers. Too much had happened recently for any of them to risk another disaster.

His team had been laying low, and Leo thinks that he wants to keep it that way, if only for a few days longer.

A frigid pressure against his skin and he flinches, unconsciously placing a hand over his brother's as he recalls what they were in the kitchen to do. Donnie permits him to hold the icepack, brow furrowed. "Did it hurt?"

Leo shakes his head sheepishly. "No. Just startled me."

Donnie studies him for a moment and then accepts this, turning to drop on the stool across from him, palm coming up to smother a yawn. Leo frowns Donnie he proceeds to massage his forehead absently. "Headache still here?"

Donnie lowers his hand but doesn't look up, eyes closed. "Mhmm. Comes and goes. Probably just my body rebelling against my recent case of sleep deprivation."

A fine track record of self-care his shell. Luckily, this seems like an easy fix. "So go to bed."

Donnie waves the idea away. "Can't."

"Can't or won't?"

"Can't." Donnie reiterates with a sigh. "Too much going on in my head. I'd just be laying in bed going over formulas and feeling useless for hours. It's pretty pointless to waste more energy trying to sleep then it would be staying awake."

Leo muses over an argument for this bit of logic, but his train of thought is interrupted by the sound of turnstiles spinning. He straightens instinctively, but the familiar, joyful, over-the-top cry puts him at ease. "Dude! The doors are open! He actually did it!"

The following swack and grumble reassures him that both brothers are home safe and he relaxes again. Donnie looks up as Mikey sprints into the room with four pizzas, greeting them and talking a mile a minute as an irritated Raph trails behind.

Leo guesses it's his usual irritation until he catches his eye and their grumpy brother looks away, subtly crossing to the other side of the table.

Wondering if he somehow upset yet another brother, Leo watches as Raph plops on the stool, looking him and Donnie over before his gaze shifts to the icepack. He tenses upon seeing the ugly grey that taints the skin and then shoots Leo an accusing look, as though demanding to know what he'd done to end up that way.

Leo nods towards Donnie and Raph's brow furrows as he looks between them again. His eyes widen as the pieces click and he grins wickedly, clearly more than happy with that turn of events.

Leo rolls his eyes as his hotheaded brother's love of conflict and turns his attention back to their younger brothers when Mikey suddenly abandons the pizza to dash to Donnie's side and cup the sides of his face.

Staring into the startled, red rimmed eyes, he finishes. "-were you crying!?"

Leo and Raph glance at the genius as he shoves Mikey back a bit, his cheeks tinted pink now that all eyes are on him. "Uh- well, I- I just-"

"Leo!" Mikey circles Donnie's head into a hug. "You made our Donnie cry!"

The pink darkens and spreads until his face is more tomato than turtle. "It's not a big deal! Crying is a completely healthy way to release stress!"

"Shhh. Shhh. It's okay, Don. We won't let mean old Leo hurt you anymore." Mikey pets his head and Donnie responds by shoving him off, refusing to make eye contact with anyone as he buries his burning face in his hands.

"Don't worry, Mike." Raph announces cheekily, waving towards Leo's arm. "Looks like Donnie can take care of himself against mean ol' Leo."

"Dudes!" Mikey groans. "You were supposed to talk! I got rid of Raph for you and everything! It's like I can't leave you alone for five minutes!"

Leo chuckles as Raph sends the youngest an affronted look. "Sorry, Mikey. If it makes you feel better, we did talk." He pauses. "Well, there was a lot of yelling and, uh, a little sparring, but we talked."

"Sounds like it was a one heck of a talk." Raph sounds like he would have liked to be around to witness it, and Leo's suddenly grateful that Mikey had stolen him away for a pizza run. They definitely didn't need a hardheaded spectator during all that.

"It was." He replies easily, exchanging a look with the younger brother who's peeking his head up. Inspired with an idea, he causally adds, "And me and Donnie agreed that it's about time he gets some downtime, isn't that right, Dee?"

Donnie straightens. "What? But-"

"You have been working for four days straight and it's about time you took a well-deserved break. Right?"

Leo's tone warns that no is not an acceptable answer and Donnie hesitates before offering a bashful smile. "...Right."

The leader turns back to the youngest turtle who'd cut and organized the pizzas so the four kinds were split evenly between the boxes.

As Mikey slides them across the table to his respective brothers, the leader gets up from his seat to put away the icepack. "How about we take this to the couch? We haven't sat down to watch a movie together in a while and a little team bonding never hurt anyone."

He hands it to Icecream Kitty as he adds, "And, no, Raphael, that was not a challenge." Not bothering to turn and see Mikey rubbing his hands together, he gives her a quick pet of thanks, "And whatever pranks you're planning can wait until tomorrow, Michelangelo."

"Oh, alright." "Fine- but I get to pick the movie!"

Leo closes the freezer and glances at the quiet genius, noting that he's already devoured two pizza slices and is halfway through his third. "Sound good, Don?"

"Mhmm." Mouth full, Donnie obediently stands, not bothering to look up from the first actual food he'd probably had in a while.

Leo makes a mental note to keep a better eye on his meals. Junk food probably isn't the best meal to start back on, but at least he's eating. Constant intakes of coffee are definitely not cutting it.

Leo shifts to the cabinets and grabs a prepopped popcorn bag with his good arm, tossing it over his shoulder and to Raph as their younger brothers exit the room, Mikey enthusiastically tugging the smiling Donnie after him. Raph catches it without looking up from the drink stash in the fridge.

"Think Don's outta coffee."

"It's for the best." Leo grabs some individual candies and drops them on his pizza box to carry out. "Who knows how many he's already had today."

Raph grunts and Leo notices his attention shift to the uncaffeinated sodas. The leader hides a smile as his younger brother straightens, and then turns to head into the main room.

"Leo?"

The hesitation in his tone causes the leader to pause and look back. Raph stares down at the four sodas he's collected with stiff shoulders. "Karai's not a lost cause. Never was. I just... Thought believin' that was easier than always wonderin' if... If she could be fixed, you know?"

It takes Leo a reasonably long time to process the unexpected apology before he snaps back into the moment, his younger brother's discomfort making him soften. "Yeah. I get it."

"Oh. Uh, good." Raph sets his sodas on his pizza box. "Let's go watch this dumb movie then."

Leo rolls his eyes fondly. "You don't know that it's going to be dumb. You don't even know what it is yet."

"Mikey's picking it." Raph elbows his way past the leader. "Of course it's gonna be dumb."

This is the kind of logic Leo can't honestly argue against, so he just smiles and shakes his head, following the hothead into the main room. Donnie and Mikey are lightly bickering as the youngest digs through the VHS bucket, but it stops when Donnie lays eyes on him.

Like a moth to a flame, Donnie darts to his side and tugs him to the couch, sitting him down and resuming looking over his arm. He has bandages and cream now, and despite having full ability to do so himself, Leo allows Donnie to take care of it.

Donnie's brow is furrowed and there's a visible guilt trying to worm it's way to the surface, so Leo waits until he's finished to take his hand, keeping his voice low. "This is on me. Not you. Okay?"

Donnie squeezes back and then pulls away as Mikey unleashes a triumphant, "Aha!"

Raph looks like he's preparing himself for a particularly horrid piece of bad news. "Alright. What is it?"

"I present to you-" Mikey brandishes the VHS over his head like it's baby Simba. "THE GROWLING!"

"Is a horror movie really what we want to go with tonight?" Leo questions. "How about something with a lighter tone?"

Mikey looks dissatisfied, but searches for a new show. "My Granny is a Zombie?"
Raph waves dismissively. "Try again."

Mikey taps his chin speculatively, scanning titles. "Ooh! Vengeful ninja!"

Donnie shuts the idea down with a curt, "Seen it."

Mikey huffs and Leo points out, "We've seen all of these at least once."

"Let me rephrase." Donnie crosses his arms. "We are ninjas. Surrounded by evil ninjas out for vengeance 24/7. Ergo, seen it and lived it."

"Everyone's a critic." Mikey mutters as he continues his search. His expression lights up. "Okay! How aboouuut-" He slips the movie from it's case and shoves it in. "The-Legend-Of-Man-Fist- ooh, look! It's already in. Guess we're watching it."

Raph throws a soda at Mikey and the youngest laughs as it bounces of his shell. Donnie opens his mouth for a long-winded complaint and Leo responds by opening a chocolate bar and strategically slipping it in his mouth.

The genius shoots him a irritated look before quieting to eat the candy, so Leo counts it as a win. Raph tosses them their sodas before settling onto his beanbag and Mikey accepts Leo's offering of gummies.

Trailers come and go as snacks and pizzas are opened and partly devoured. Leo slips a pizza slice into Donnie's box when he isn't looking, raising an eye ridge when they witness three explosions within the first five minutes of the movie.

It soon occurs to Leo that his brother is stiff, fidgeting uncomfortably, sitting next to him while somehow also being a million miles away. He wonders if it's all in his head, but in his head or not, Leo doesn't like the imaginary distance between them.

He studies his face, and he recognizes that absent stare. It warns that whatever's going on in his mind is not what's happening around him, and something tells the leader that the thoughts lodged in his big brain are not ones that his intelligent brother wants be dwelling on.

The leader is subtle to prevent drawing attention from their brothers and scoots closer to him, wrapping his free arm around Donnie's shoulders.

He doesn't remove his gaze from the tv, but he feels as Donnie tenses at the touch, turning to look at him. Leo doesn't look at him, nor does he acknowledge the uncertainty in his stare. He ignores the twinge of discomfort in his arm when he reaches, taking his younger brother's hand and squeezing it.

Donnie relaxes then, curving into his hold and leaning his head on his shoulder. Something in the leader unknots. He wonders how he could have ever forgotten that the turtle beside him was more than the team genius, or when that title made him nothing more than a tool used to supply what they needed the moment they asked.

He was the nerd of their tight-knit group, a stubborn mutant who spent his days trying to better the lives of those around him, and a little brother who knew more about the weight of heavy burdens than Leo ever realized.

He hates himself for never seeing it, and he's relieved for that, because now he knows that he won't be forgetting it.

They remain that way for the rest of the movie, and Leo fully realizes when Donnie dozes off, allowing him to rest until the very first credits begin rolling on screen before giving his shoulder a warning squeeze.

Donnie jolts slightly and looks around to gather his bearings, glancing at Leo when the leader pulls away to scoot back and stretch, sparing the both of them from teasing remarks. Mikey wastes no time in rushing to bed to avoid cleaning the mess on the floor, and Raph sticks around long enough to be as irritable as possible, forcing the leader to kick him from the room.

Donnie's attention is still distant, but his eyes are brighter now, and that's enough.
He doesn't try and pull him out of his shell as they quickly tidy up, but he does pull him into one last hug before heading to bed himself.

He's more than relieved when his little brother returns it. He pulls away to look him in the eye. "Think you can sleep now?"

"Maybe."

Donnie's eyes are soft and sheepish, and Leo sends him a playful glare. "Well, you better remember that you're taking a mandatory chill day tomorrow. Movie marathons, video game championships, the works."

Donnie feigns frustration. "Well, since I clearly don't have a choice in the matter..."

"You don't." Leo pushes him towards his room and Donnie bats his hands away, starting to head towards his door before he pauses.

He turns back apprehensively. "What... What about Karai?"

"Karai..." Leo hesitates. "Karai was on her own before Shredder got his hands in her. She can handle herself. If she is back in his hands, then we know where to find her. For now, my team needs to be my first priority."

Donnie nods and then opens the door, offering Leo a tired smile. "'Night Leo."

Leo returns it. "Night Donnie."

Donnie disappears into his room and Leo heads to his own, surprised to find his youngest brother on his bed, a comic held above him as he hums a tune under his breath.

The moment he steps into the room, Mikey looks up. He grins a welcome as Leo walks over, sitting up and patting the bed beside him. Leo raises an eye ride curiously, but obediently sits down beside him.

The smug tint in his grin is undeniable. "I told you."

"You did." Leo huffs. "I don't have to like it, but you did. You were right. I really should have talked to him sooner."

Mikey sets the comic down, crossing his legs and rocking a bit. "Nah. You were too grumpy, and angry Raphs don't use their heads. Just insults and fists."

Mikey peeks at the door. Once he reasons that he's safe, he gives the amused leader a cheeky grin, "But you didn't hear that from me."

"Not exactly something that needs to be said." Leo's quiet a second and then carefully prods, "I was wondering. Was it really coincidence that Raph apologized after you and him went on your little pizza run?"

"He apologized?" Mikey's whole face lights up and then he realizes what he said, quickly adding, "Oh, uh, good for him, because, like, he does a lot of things that could use a sorry all the time, so he really should be giving us those more often, you know?"

"Uh huh." Leo shoots him a knowing look and Mikey's smile grows. "Things Raph says and things Raph means are totally different, bro. Like when he says Shut up, idiot! and he really means Stop talking, I'm totally freaking out but playing the macho man and don't want you to know."

Mikey mimics a few Raph expressions and the fact it's concerningly close has Leo snickering before he can stop himself. Mikey winks and Leo socks him in the arm, stating, "At least I'm not the only one you do impressions of."

"The Leo one's my favorite."

Leo rolls his eyes and looks away so Mikey can't see the grin he's attempting to hide. His gaze falls on the door, his thought turning to the siblings he'd failed. The sibling that he might never get to save. A new invisible weight drops.

"Mikey?" Leo looks at his hands, trying to put his thoughts into words.

He doesn't know why he's asking, if there's a certain answer he's expecting, but he presses on anyway. "Do you... Think we'll find Karai again? That she'll be willing to come home?"

"Sure, dude." Mikey's so confident that Leo feels some hope stir, looking at him in surprise. "Really?"

"She's under Shredder's control. She doesn't want to be with him." Mikey replies as if nothing could be more obvious. It occurs to Leo that this is a pretty blatant fact that he somehow missed. "When we help her, she'll probably be too feral to stick around, but she's Hamato. Family sticks with family."

When. Leo can suddenly breathe again, and he smiles. "Yeah. She's just lost."

"But we'll find her. We're real good at that by now." Leo chuckles as he leans back, taking a long and easy breath. It was nice. This was nice.

He looks at Mikey and sees his brother frowning. He feels his own form. "Mikey?"

"Hmm?" Mikey glances at him absently and he gently presses, "What's on your mind?"

"...I keep thinking about how Donnie got taken first."

Leo considers it, unsure what significance that held. "She probably knew baiting him with April would make him an easy mark. Plus, as team genius, getting him out of the way would make good sense strategically-"

Mikey's stakes makes him feel like he was missing yet another obvious piece of information, so he trails off to let him fill in the dots. Mikey's happy to oblige. "Think like our big bro. Not our leader. He ran off after we fought."

Leo's quiet as he tries to find the relevance. "Still not following."

"He was all upset and angry with you. And us. If Shredder had been there, if Karai'd wanted him gone instead of taken..." Mikey brings his knees to his chest and shudders. "We wouldn't have been able to fix it. He would have just been... Gone."

Leo sucks in a pained breath because he certainly never thought about it that way.
He can still see the stubborn fury in Donnie's glare and the way he was more than happy for an excuse to get as far from them as possible. "...Oh."

"You think he would have known you didn't mean it?" Mikey's voice trembles as he avoids his gaze. "All that stuff about him not doing good enough?"

Leo knows he wouldn't have.

He sits up, keeping all traces of this knowledge from his expression. "'Course he would. We're family, remember? Just like Raph, we just... Say things we don't mean sometimes. He's a genius. He'd know."

Mikey's voice is uncharacteristically quiet. "It kinda messes with my head. We were all so- so mad and everything went so wrong, you know? It's like- we can fix things, until we can't. I hate thinking about it. The whole... Hearing you're a failure being the last thing your brothers ever say. It's... scary."

"Guess we'll have to thank our lucky stars Sensei came through." Leo isn't sure why he's whispering, but his little brother's atmosphere is throwing him off.

"Yeah."

Mikey faces him, something both timid and haunted in his gaze, and in a split second, everything seems to click.

He scoots closer and pulls him into a side hug, something Mikey immediately curls into, hiding his face. Leo runs a hand along his carapace. "You're right. It is a scary thing to think about, but that doesn't make it true. Everyone in this family contributes something. Sensei, he took us in and taught us everything we know about honor and battle."

He pauses and closes his word carefully. "Raph's our strength, in more ways than one. He keeps us safe and does what needs to be done, no matter how heavy the weight is. Donnie's our brains. He's always around with exactly what we need when we need it, and if he isn't, he's not afraid to make sacrifices to get it to us. And then there's you."

Mikey's breath hitches and Leo can't help the smile. "The heart that keeps the team together. Revealing the brighter side to our darkest of hours. Keeping us together when an argument threatens to tear the family apart. Master of distraction and a bundle of potential who could probably beat all of us if he'd take training seriously."

Mikey pulls away to scan his gaze, hopeful baby-blue eyes watery. "You mean it?"

"Well." Leo pretends to reconsider. "Maybe just Raph and Donnie then. I'm a pretty tough egg to crack."

Mikey giggles, the sound spreading a familiar warmth through the leader and setting his world right again. His younger brother wipes at his eyes. "That why Donnie was able to bruise you?"

Leo puts a hand over his heart in mock offense. "Low blow, little brother."

Mikey smirks and points out. "You forgot someone."

"I did?" Leo's brow furrows. "Who-?"

"Then there's Leo, team leader extraordinaire." Mikey's grin widens when Leo flushes. "The biggest bro of our awesome foursome who keeps us "Quiet!" and "Focused guys!"." Leo raised an eye ridge when the distinct Leo-voice creeps in and Mikey gets to his feet dramatically. "Master of healing hands and endless mother-henning! Mushy-hearted turtle who'll do anything for his family and friends! A-"

Leo clamps a hand over his mouth, laughing at the teasing look in his brother's eyes. "Okay! Okay, I'm pretty great! Thank you."

He removes his hand and Mikey beams.

Leo shakes his head and sits back on the bed, watching as his younger brother picks up his comic and then heads towards the door. "Mikey?"

Hand on the knob, Mikey glances back curiously. Leo rubs the back of his neck. "Seriously, thanks. Don't tell the guys I said this, but you're a smart turtle. I don't know what we'd do without you."

Mikey's entire expression lights up, genuine and pure, and he offers a flourished bow. "You are very welcome, my good turtle. It's what I'm here for."

With a quick wave, he turns off the light and slips out of the room with the comic in hand, humming a new tune under his breath before Leo hears his door shut behind him.

The lair descends into a peaceful silence and Leo dwells in it, suddenly realizing that the chaos that had been plaguing his mind has quieted. He lays down on the bed, rolling over and taking a steadying breath, allowing the familiar serenity to wrap around him.

It's gentle and reassuring, wiping away thoughts of his failures and making him feel like a teen again, able to sleep without worrying about the weight of the world crushing him.

He doesn't know when he falls asleep or when he wakes up again, but he's dimly aware of a presence when he does. It's deemed safe and so he keeps his eyes shut and allows his drowsy mind to float, the soft hand cupping his face causing his own hand to twitch.

There's a voice talking, the voice of his father, and this recognition causes him to stir. "Se'sei?"

The tone is gentle. "I did not mean to wake you, my son."

"I's okay." Leo reassures through half lidded eyes, peeking up at him. He can see the sorrow in the wise gaze and worry flushes through him, trying to recall why he looked that way through the density of beckoning sleep. "Wha''s wrong?'

"Nothing." His father's gaze relaxes as he uses his free hand to tuck Leo's blanket a bit further up over his shoulders. Leo blearily reaches up to grab the wrist of the hand that still cradles his cheek, never breaking eye contact as he enters further into consciousness.

His father smiles. "Really, Leonardo. I was only checking on my sons. There has been much tension in the air as of late."

Leo releases his wrist, relaxing once more. "Oh. Fixed that. Everything's 'kay now. We're going to find her."

Splinter's eyes widen as he pulls back his hand. "Nani?"

"Karai." Leo answers as buries his head back into the pillow, letting out the yawn that threatens to interrupt him. "We- We're gonna find her, and bring her home. Then you'll have your family back."

"Oh, Leonardo." Splinter traces a hand down the side of his face and Leo feels his eyes fall shut. "With or without Karai, you four will always be my family. I have done nothing to deserve you, and I am grateful every time you return to me. Karai is my daughter, but you are my sons, and this family cannot be whole without you in it."

A warmth flows through Leo as he sinks further from reality and he hears a distant voice mumble, "Love you, papa."

"I love you too, my son."

When he leaves, Leo is barely hanging on a thread of consciousness, and his spirit reaches out without trying, locating and connecting with those of the three around him. They flow bright and fluid, one eagerly mingling as the other two hang back, one of the pair a bit more faded then the rest. It's weak, but he knows it will strengthen in time.

Then all is black again. With his heart full and his body worn, he surrenders to the safety of sleep.

Somehow, Leo knows that everything's going to be okay.