the thought of episode 11 creeps me out ok peace
I'll  be writing a pd101 horror!fic soon so stay tuned for updates ppl

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you're all over my head, kim yeonjoo.

doyeon sighed, but she was not surprised. "yeonjoo i swear, if you're late once again-"

"you'd still love me." yeonjoo cut her sentence without a doubt.

"... yes, that's true, but in addition with a few bowls of ramen would do so."

when she was there, i wanted to hide myself behind sanha's tall figure because i knew i was the last person she'd want to see, especially in an atmosphere she's most familiar of. the girls stood up to start the random play dance, and she almost saw me-

wait she looked at me,

shitshitshitshit

and there is no point of denying that because she clearly saw me behind sanha, and i don't think she was happy about that. no, i couldn't see her expression because i barely had the time to gather myself so that i could look at her. um, okay. you're okay.

you'd be experiencing this for the next few months, so chill.

minhyuk took the role of choosing the song randomly, connecting doyeon's phone to the speaker and he played a couple of songs from her playlist. it started with a couple of girls generation songs, followed by bigbang's classics, tvqx, rainism (a concept i could never pull off with, yet yeonjoo could do it perfectly, swaying an imaginary stick and i knew it'll be an honor for me to get hit by her with it), bangtan sonyeondan's i need u (we had to stop yesung from screaming the lyrics because he was so loud and there is a reason why he's a rapper), and it ended with exo's growl. their dance line is certainly no joke, and i could see that yeonjoo is definitely one of their lead dancers.

perhaps it's because i kept staring at her.

but i can't stop myself from looking at her because she's just.. her. even she looked beautiful by just standing there. she obtained heavy short breaths after dancing, sweat rolling down her cheeks so majestically.

what is she doing to me?

it's not like i want to date her, it's more like me appreciating the beauty that she didn't knew radiates from her. i was so engulfed by everything that she does. i didn't need to expect anything from her, even the thought of seeing her everyday makes me happy, though it sounds creepy in some way thinking about it.

and because of that, i have made up the conclusion that i have fallen in love with kim yeonjoo; with no necessary means of wanting to date her.

"before we start with the boys, i am very curious about our new friend's special talents." doyeon started, her eyes shifting on me. "park jihoon, right?"

i nodded. yeonjoo was staring at me, but i didn't gave her a reply.

"can you please stand up and show us something?" doyeon continued, as the other trainees gave me a subtle cheer. "i heard that park jihoon was a trainee in sm."

i nodded and stood up. "yes i was." i wouldn't be surprised if they all suspect me to be a robot who answers things systematically because i sure do look like one.

"oh, so you're the same like yeonjoo-unnie." hyejin called out, which brought everyone's attention to me and yeonjoo.

kim yeonjoo, former sm trainee for around 3 years, left at the summer of 2015. one of the best trainees, the best of friends with red velvet's yeri. the goddess of dancing, the visual of sm, the underappreciated rookie.

that was kim yeonjoo, and i actually had the tendency to forget about her.

before i could have the chance to answer, yeonjoo was the one who took the chance to explain first. "yes, we were labelmates back then." she said with a sincere smile, at least it looked like it. my eyes were locked unto hers, and for a split second she had her eyes trailing over me while giving a nod as if she was saying 'ha, that's not what you expected.' "he was actually one of their best trainees."

i don't know why was she sugarcoating my past, because we all knew that taeyong-hyung and mark were the best trainees of sm. even i felt like i have lost all my talents on dancing when i see 4d chittaphon-hyung's hipthrusts that could burst everyone's nonexistent ovaries. so yeah, why was she making me feel special?

"really?" doyeon tilted her head. "why did you leave, then?"

"the same reason everyone leaves sm." i shrugged. "because they were treating us like we weren't human."

hyuntae's eyebrow flinched. "what, did they treat you like giraffes?"

"haha, very funny."

"i feel offended already." sanha poured as he puts his head on yesung's shoulder.

"but they didn't deserve you, jihoon." yeonjoo continued, which left me speechless because i didn't expect that to come out from her mouth. "you'd be more appreciated here."

how can someone be so different in two different places?

i smiled. "yeah, you too."

"so now let's see what jihoon's got!" doyeon cheered, which increased my heartbeat by 50 percent by i clearly did not prepare anything. i stood up awkwardly, all eyes on me and how i am going to do.

maybe that's why yeonjoo was hyping my presence; she was making everyone exceed their expectations, just like the nature i am usually in; pressure and high expectations.

maybe i could perform the baby don't cry choreography, but that's not my preferred concept. bangbangbang? sorry sorry? replay? 10 out of 10?

"i'll just connect my phone here, okay?" i head to the speaker.

"okay." they said altogether, so in synced that i had to stop for a while to think what just happened. i connected my phone to the speaker and started playing the song.

now playing: lionheart - girls generation.

i don't know if that was the best or the worst decision i have ever made, but i was sure it was not in between. but with this song, i was able to give the best facial expressions as i knew the choreo all too well. even minhyuk and doyeon joined the fun at the end.

and i don't know about you, but i think i definitely impressed kim yeonjoo, and that is the best thing i could've ever done.

after that we had a couple of training while using iteen boys' sample songs like spring up and hide and seek, than it was time to get home. i believe i had made a great first impression and that i have secured my friendship with the trainees and of course, kim yeonjoo.

oh wait; did i say kim yeonjoo? yes, she's heading to me now. there's no one here, everyone's either still in the practice room or have already gone home. why is she-

"hello." she greeted warmly, her voice is now sincere, not like how she usually talks to me.

"hi," i smiled before taking a deep breath. "so you were a sm trainee."

"yeah."

"god, i feel so relieved now. i have finally remembered you."

she wheezed. "took you that long."

"so you have no grudges right? no problems with me?" i asked honestly, because i didn't want her to feel uncomfortable with me anymore.

"no, never." she looked at me. "i thought you were the one who looked at me strangely."

"so you knew me all that time?" i scrunched my nose. "even when i asked your name?"

she shrugged. "i was just playing with you."

"yeah, and you scared the hell out of me." we both share a friendly laugh, that surprisingly wasn't all that tense anymore.

then it was left with silence. i opened my mouth to speak. "you never told me why you left sm, though."

"i.. i knew i won't be debuting soon enough." she sighed. "even joohyun-unnie and seulgi-unnie took a lot more than five years, and they're the most talented people i have ever met. but me, i wouldn't say i was favored by them, and i don't think i'd be happy there." she looked down. "they weren't paying attention to female trainees either. so everyone left, including me. and honestly, it was the best decision i have ever made."

"yeah, you look happy here."

she nodded along. "how about you?" she returned the question. "why did you leave?"

"i explained it already."

"yeah, everyone knows sm treats trainees like shit but-" she paused. "why did you leave? you had a big chance of debuting."

"with mark, jisung and haechan along the way? i don't think so."

"what was that concept that they were planning? dream?" she recalled the memories i expect she has ignored after leaving sm, "that unit with 99% percent aegyo? i think you'd be great in that."

"nah."

"especially with that visuals."

i wheezed. "everyone keeps overestimating me because of my face."

"because you are that good, jihoon."

"who are you and what did you do to the heartless kim yeonjoo?" i joked as she playfully hit my arm.

"i wish you all the luck in fantagio," she smiled. "you'd be needing it."

i nodded back. she was about to leave when i called her again. "by the way,"

she turned around. "hm?"

"can i ask for your number?"

she grinned. "wouldn't be fun if i told you, right?"

i swear, this girl will be the death of me.

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- yuehwa