Wonder Duck Spoons (Both)


Air: Did you know that when it's 2:00 pm in Eastern Standard Time, it's 2:00 AM in China???

Rainkeeper:....Yes, that is how time zones work-

Air: SO LIKE, CHINA IS A WHOLE DAY AHEAD OF US????

Nightflyer: Not in the way you're thinking, they don't know the future, it's just 2 am there instead of pm.

Air: BUT WHY?!?!?!

Nightflyer: Well because the Earth is constantly rotating-

Air: Yeah, I know about THAT science stuff, but I thought everyone was on the same time, and people in places where there's sunlight at 2am treated it like it was 2pm, so they went to school at midnight instead of noon.

Nightflyer:......So instead of time zones existing, you just thought half the planet was nocturnal?

Air: Yes, exactly.

Nightflyer:........*screams into a pillow*

*players appear*

Glory: Deathy.

Deathbringer: Glor-Glor.

Glory: Murderbasket.

Deathbringer: Gloria.

Glory: *gasps*

Nightflyer: There was a mention of a Lumineers song?

Glory: You CANNOT call my Gloria. I'm not some zoo hippo.

Deathbringer: And YOU can't call me Murderbasket, but here we are!

Glory: I WILL SICK A SCAVENGER ON YOU.

Deathbringer: Oh no! That's the thing I'm sensitive about!

Winter: Please. Get to the dare before I stab myself to avoid hearing their voices.

Rainkeeper: *flips open notebook and clicks pen* 

Rainkeeper: Are these voices telling you to hurt people?

Qibli: I hope you didn't do that thing where you sit in your living room and talk to yourself for half an hour.

Winter: The voices are telling me to kill Qibli.

Rainkeeper: I see. *makes note*

Kelp: Today we'll be playing my favorite game of all time.

Peril: Is it Clue?

Kelp: No.

Kinkajou: Pictionary?

Kelp: No.

Turtle: Cards Against Humanity?

Air: He's in love! With HUMANITY.

Air: If by humanity you mean Dean Winchester-

Kelp: No.

Carnelian: Saw?

Deathbringer: The Hunger Games?

Tsunami: *punches Deathbringer*

Tsunami: Sorry?

Qibli: Poker?

Kelp: No. 

Kelp: It's Spoons!

Players:..........

Sunny: What's Spoons?

Qibli: One of the many games I used to play in order to get food.

Kelp: Spoons is simple. All you need is a deck of cards and spoons.

Amber: I have a deck of rainbow cards!

Rainkeeper: *empties a suitcase full of spoons*

Joy: Why do you-

Rainkeeper: I keep them in case I need to make a spoon related reference.

Rainkeeper: *raises spoon* I will CUT YOUR HEART OUT WITH A SPOON.

Joy: Here's another list of people who outta be lured into the woods and disemboweled with a wooden cooking spoon.

Kelp: Since we're all playing, we'll need 21 spoons.

Air: But there's 22 of us.

Kelp: Exactly.

Clay: Does this game involve eating something with a spoon?

Joy: Not even close.

Kelp: Here's how you play, for those who don't know.

Seashell: Everyone sits around the table. There are spoons in the middle of the table, always one less spoon than number of dragons playing, like musical chairs. One person has the deck of cards and everyone had four cards in their hand. You must ALWAYS have four cards. The person with the deck draws a card and decides if they want to keep it. If they do, they exchange it for another card in their hand and pass that card to the person next to them. If they don't want the card, then they pass it to the person next to them. This continues until you get to the last person, who decides if they want to keep the card, and then places it in the discard pile if they don't. The goal of the game is to get four of a kind first, so like four 6's, four jacks, etc. Everyone moves rather fast at the game. Once you have four of a kind, you grab a spoon and keep playing. If you don't have four of a kind, but you notice someone has grabbed a spoon, you grab a spoon. If you don't get a spoon, you're eliminated. Last one standing wins.

Joy: Seeing as it's his favorite game, Kelp will be the one with the deck. 

All: *circles around the table*

Kelp: *draws a card and the game begins*

All:...........

Glory: This is stupid.

Sunny: What happens if no one gets four of a kind?

Rainkeeper: Then we've failed and we try again.

*game continues*

Joy: *grabs a spoon*

All: *keeps playing*

Kelp: *notices Joy has a spoon, grabs one*

All:.....

Fatespeaker: JOY'S GOT A SPOON!

Players: *scream and lunge for the spoons*

Winter: *punches Qibli in the face and takes a spoon*

Glory: I WILL SPRAY VENOM AT ANYONE WHO TAKES A SPOON FROM ME

Sunny: *Shoves past Glory to grab spoon*

Sunny: IT'S MAGICAL DEATH SPIT, GET IT RIGHT

Deathbringer: Magical Deathy spit?

Glory/Sunny: SHUT UP MURDERBASKET!

*all the spoons are gone*

Nightflyer: who doesn't have one?

Air: Me.....

Nightlfyer: Aw, sorry Air.

Air: It's fine.

Air: I'm just going to loudly sing the wonderball song while you all keep playing

Air: *takes a spoon away and leaves the table*

*next round starts*

Air: THEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WONDER BALL GOES ROUND AND ROUND-

Winter: We're not even playing Wonder Ball, what the hell?

Air: TO CATCH IT QUICKLY YOU ARE BOUND,

Joy: Since you're singing, I know you can't make the reference so here. *puts Bound by Radio Company on the boombox*

Air: IF YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HOLDS IT LAST,

Deathbringer: *grabs spoon*

Air: THE GAME FOR YOU HAS SURELY PAST,

Players: *freak and lunge for spoons*

Air: YOU! ARE! OUT!

Turtle: Yes I am. *doesn't have a spoon*

Kinkajou: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tsunami: YOU WERE MY BROTHER ANAKIN.

Nightflyer: I said Seagulls, MM, Stop it now.

Joy: You see his blood, it drained into the floors and had to change em!

Kelp: We all got a chicken duck woman thing waiting for us.

*next round starts*

Hosts: Every day I worry all day, 
About what's waiting in the bushes of love
Yes something's waiting in the bushes for us
Something's waiting in the bushes of love

*several rounds later*

*Sunny, Deathbringer, Joy, and Clay are left*

Joy: I'd just like to point out that we used the wheel for this, and it picked Moon six times.

Moon: I was already out-

Joy: The wheel likes you, it's weird.

Rainkeeper: Maybe that's why it also ships Qinter

Hosts:........*looks at the wheel*

*round starts*

Joy: I hope you know this is serious now.

Clay: Okay!

Deathbringer: Suuuuure it is.

All: *humming the Wonder ball song*

Winter: Dammit Air.

Air: Would you prefer it if I played my Destiel Mixtape?

Nightflyer: She- She actually made one *covers face in talons*

Air: A MIXTAPE IS A SYMBOL OF LOVE, YOU KNOW.

Nightflyer: YOU NEVER GAVE ME A MIXTAPE!

Air: I'm WORKING ON IT.

Deathbringer: *grabs Spoon*

Clay: *screams and grabs spoon*

Sunny/Joy: *reach for final spoon*

Joy: *stabs Sunny and takes spoon*

Sunny: *screams*

Starflight: JOY WHAT THE HELL?!!?!?

Joy: Oh, did I mention I cheat at games?

Kelp: It's not entirely her fault, Spoons is definitely a rage game.

Nightflyer: Not as bad as flappy bird.

All: *screams at the memory of flappy bird*

*new round starts*

Rainkeeper: Somebody pick a new song to sing.

All:........

Fatespeaker: The duck walked up to the lemonade stand,

All: AND HE SAID TO THE MAN RUNNIN THE STAND, HEY BUM BUM BUM, GOT ANY GRAPES?!!?

All: *screeching the Duck song*

Deathbringer: *doesn't get a spoon*

Deathbringer: *screams and flips table*

Joy: And then there were two.

Clay: *fixes the table and puts one spoon on it*

Joy: Geez, you put down spoons like it's a revolver in Russian Roulette.

Clay: What?

Joy: DI DI MAU!

Clay: That sounds like a great Thai food dish.

Joy: *facetalons*

All: AND HE WADDLED AWAY, WADDLE WADDLE, AND HE WADDLED AWAY, WADDLE WADDLE WADDLE, TIL THE VERY NEXT DAY BUM BUM BUM BUM BADA DUM

Joy: *gets four eights*

Clay: *gets four twos*

Kelp: Dead man's hand.

Joy/Clay: *lunge for the spoon and flips the table again*

All: THE MAN SAID THAT'S IT DUCK, IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY, I'LL GLUE YOU TO A TREE AND LEAVE YOU THERE ALL DAY-

{Pause for dramatic effect}

Clay: *rises with spoon*

Clay: I won?

Clay: HAAHAHAHAH!!!! I WON!!!!! I WOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! I NEVER WIN ANYTHING!!!!

Joy: Congrats, buddy.

Clay: YAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!! *kisses Peril*

All:.........

All: THE DUCK WALKED UP TO THE LEMONADE STAND AND HE SAID TO THE MAN RUNNIN THE STAND, HEY! BUM BUM BUM, GOT ANY GLUE?

https://youtu.be/MtN1YnoL46Q

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