Air/Joy: *looking at a computer and giggling*

Rainkeeper: What are you guys doing?

Joy: Nothing.

Nightflyer: Joy, if you're corrupting my girlfriend, I think I deserve to know about it.

Air: We're looking up swear words in the dictionary!

Nightflyer: *facetalons*

Joy: Wait a sec....

Joy: When did the word BAE get in the dictionary?

Seashell: Around 2014-2015.

Joy:......Huh.

*players appear*

Winter: Uh, what now-

Nightflyer: *slaps Winter*

Moon: Hey!

Qinter: Ow! Wha-

Nightflyer: IT'S MY TIME, BITCHES!

Air: Nightflyer, control yourself.

Nightflyer: NOPE!

Joy: Eh, it's about time he got it out of his system.

Air: Very true. HAVE AT IT, NIGHTFLYER!

Glory: Have at wh-

Nightflyer: YOU'RE HARRY FREAKING POTTER!

Nightflyer: *marching around* HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS HOGGY WARTY HOGWARTS, TEACH US SOMETHING PLEEEAAAASE!!!!

Rainkeeper: Oh boy.

Nightflyer: You can't just GO to Pigfarts. You need a ROCKETSHIP. DO YOU HAVE A ROCKETSHIP POTTAR!!!?!!?!?

Starflight: He's finally gone completely insane.

Nightflyer: NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!

Nightflyer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seashell: No, he's just finally releasing all the Harry Potter References that he's been keeping locked away until today.

Nightflyer: POTTAR!  Potter, it's good to see you. HARRY POTTAR!!!!! HARRY!!! DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYA?!!?!!?- Dumbledore asked CALMLY.

Air: You're never gonna get over that, are you?

Nightflyer: NEVER!!!

Glory: So, why is he releasing all the Harry Potter stuff today?

Joy: Because today, you'll all be dueling against HP characters!

Deathbringer: Yes! Duels!

Nightflyer: DUEL? SCARED POTTER? YOU WISH!!!!

Nightflyer: THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING HP AND DEATHLY HALLOWS PART ONE AND YOU REALIZE THAT THE GOLDEN TRIO HAD THE CHANCE TO KILL DOLOHOV, BUT ALL THEY DID WAS WIPE HIS MEMORY AND REMUS ENDED UP DEAD BECAUSE OF IT! *sobs*

Rainkeeper: That being said, here's your pairings-

Nightflyer: SNAPE, SNAPE. SEVeRUS SNAPE!

*silence*

Air: duMBLEDORE!

Nightflyer: THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU!

Air: I know.

Nightflyer: DOBBY NEVER MEANT TO KILL- DOBBY ONLY MEAN TO MAIM, OR SERIOUSLY INJURE!

Rainkeeper: Clay and Ron.

Joy: KICK HIS ASS, CLAY.

Clay: Okaaaay.

Nightflyer: RON. RON. Ron weASLEY.

Rainkeeper: Peril and Umbridge.

Peril: Permission to melt her?

Nightflyer: GRANTED. SOOOOOOOOOO GRANTED. MAKE HER SUFFER.

Peril: Yay!

Rainkeeper: Tsunami and Ginny

Tsunami: Awww, but I LIKE Ginny!

Joy: Then you die, and she lives!

Tsunami: NEVER.

Rainkeeper: Riptide and Neville.

Riptide:......I'm so dead.

Rainkeeper: Glory and Bellatrix.

Nightflyer: BELLATRIX! THAT BITCH! SHE KILLED SO MANY PEOPLE I LOVE- TORTURE HER WITH MAGICAL DEATH SPIT, GLORY, I BEG YOU!

Joy: Do it.

Glory: Okay. You don't have to ask me twice.

Rainkeeper: Deathbringer and Sirius.

Deathbringer: .......You want me to kill my idol....

Deathbringer: BUT HIS HAIR IS SO FABULOUS- I CAN'T HARM HIM!

Rainkeeper: Starflight and Cho Chang.

Nightflyer: CHO CHANG! DOMO ARIGATO, CHO CHANG!

Starflight: Okay?

Rainkeeper: Fatespeaker and Colin Creevey.

Nightflyer: *gasps*

Fatespeaker: Is....Is that bad?

Nightflyer: FATESPEAKER YOU HARM ONE HAIR ON COLIN'S PRECIOUS HEAD AN I'LL-

Air: *grabs Nightflyer*

Air: Shhhhh, Colin'll be okay....

Nightflyer: *growls*

Air: Everybody'll be fine unless you want them dismembered....

Nightflyer: *calms*

Rainkeeper: Sunny and Luna.

Sunny: LUNA! WOOHOO!

Rainkeeper: Winter and Draco.

Winter: I'm deling somebody named dragon?

Rainkeeper: Yes.

Rainkeeper:  Umber and Dean-

Air: DEAN!?!?!?!

Rainkeeper:.....Dean THOMAS.

Air: Oh.

Rainkeeper: Qibli and Blaise.

Qibli: Kay.

Rainkeeper: Moon and Hermione.

Moon: RIP me.

Rainkeeper: Kinkajou and Fred.

Kinkajou: Cool!

Rainkeeper: Turtle and Remus.

Turtle: Poor Remus....

Rainkeeper: And finally, Carnelian and Lavender Brown.

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*everyone appears in an arena*

Joy: NOW FIGHT!!!!

Nightflyer: I'll provide that music.

Nightflyer: GOTTA GET BACK TO HOGWARTS. GOTTA GET BACK TO SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. GOTTA GET BACK TO HOGWARTS, WHERE EVERYBODY THINKS I'M COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! 

Players: *dueling*

Air/Nightflyer: BACK TO WITCHES AND WIZARDS AND MAGICAL BEASTS! TO GOBLINS AND GHOSTS AND INCREDIBLE FEASTS!  ITS ALL THAT I LOVE AND IT'S ALL THAT I NEED AT HOGWARTS! HOGWARTS!

Rainkeeper: I'm sorry, what'd you say?

Nightflyer: HOGWARTS! HOGWARTS!

Joy: I can't hear you kids.

Air: HOGWARTS! HOGWARTS!

Nightflyer: MAN I'M GLAD I'M BACK!

Hosts: *glance towards arena*

*Ron, Lavender, Umbridge, Bellatrix, Fred, and Dean are dead*

*Riptide, Tsunami, Sunny, Moon, Fatespeaker, Starflight, and Turtle are dead*

Joy: Who's left?

Seashell: Qibli and Blaise, Deathbringer and Sirius, and Winter and Draco.

Air: Ooooooh, Sparkly dragon versus Sparkly dragon.....

*several hours later*

*Qibli and Sirius are dead*

Deathbringer: *very upset*

Draco: *kills Winter*

Joy: YAAASSSS!!!! GO MALFOY!!

Nightflyer: WE KNOW YOU'RE WEARING A DIAPER!

Draco: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!!

Nightflyer: A VERY POTTER MUSICAL TOLD ME AND THOUSANDS OF OTHERS!

Draco: YOU *raises wand*

Joy: Okay Nightflyer, the Harry Potter universe has delicate rules about magic and stuff, right?

Nightflyer: Yeah.

Joy: Well, I'm about to shatter everything you love.

Draco: AVADA KE-

Joy: *shoots Draco*

Nightflyer:.........

Joy: See, if they were REALLY smart, they'd bring muggle items into the magical world. Cell phones, oxygen tanks, guns, etc.

Nightflyer:.....*mind shatters*

Air:........Joy, you broke him.

Joy: I do that a lot. I'm like Rhysand, but I don't need mind control powers.

Air: YOU BROKE MY BOYFRIEND JOY HOW COULD YOU?!!?!?

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*everyone respawns-*

*Nightflyer is fixed*

Nightflyer: IT'S JUST A LITTLE MAKE-UP, DRACO WAKE UP!!!

Nightflyer: I COULD BE......

Draco: FALLING IN LOVE, FALLING IN LOVE, FALLING LOVE.... WITH HERMIONE GRANGER!

Hermione: WHAT?

Nightflyer: GRANGER DANGER EVERYBODY RUN!!!