Winter vs. Winter (J.W.)
A/N: So, my friend and I made a video of us cooking 'Pasta with Jam Sauce' from Cooking Fast and Fresh with West (great cooking show on Youtube, y'all should watch it). The recipe was in Misha Collins's cookbook, so if you're interested in watching me make a fool of myself, it's the video above.
Rainkeeper: Guys, this is part 150.
Joy: Wow. Where did book 2 go?
Seashell: To infinity and beyond, duh.
Air: To HELL.
Nightflyer: No, to Hogwarts.
Kelp: I wonder what will end first- Truth or Dare book 2, or Supernatural?
Air: *smashes Kelp in the face with a keyboard*
Kelp: JOY HELP.
Joy: No, no. You dug your grave on this one, sweetheart.
*players appear*
Winter: CHANGE. ME. BACK.
Nightflyer: Are you enjoying being a girl?
Winter: CHANGE ME BACK!!!!
Amber: Winter, I waited YEARS for this, and you got it for free so STFU.
Winter: Yeah, well I DIDN'T WANT THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE SO YOU SHUT UP.
Amber: Whatever, let's go Carnie. *flips invisible hair and struts out with Carnelian*
Kinkajou: Their marriage is going well.
Qibli: I assume whatever dare this is is the start of Winter's 15 dares of female?
Winter: *growls*
Air: YUP!
Joy: We're not even sure if this was a dare or just a comment, but we're running with it because it sounded awesome.
Moon: What did it say?
Nightflyer: *unfurls dare paper*
Nightflyer: Bring in badass Winter to kill the non-badass one.
Winter: Excuse me?
Moon/Qibli: *start laughing*
Winter: I AM ALWAYS BADASS!
Moon: SUUUURREEEE
Qibli: You're such a softy under than cold, dark, thick ice layer of fury.
Winter: *scowls*
Rainkeeper: So how exactly is this gonna work? It's not like we can zap another Winter in here.
Seashell: Well-
Air: But badass Winter and non badass Winter are both apart of Winter, soooo.... What if we just... split him?
Joy: In HALF? *revs chainsaw*
Nightflyer: Joy, NO.
Joy: You're right. It would be much more appropriate to use my new life sized paper shredder instead.
Kelp: Your....what?
Joy: It's a paper shredder. Just big enough to fit a person in. And it's VERY slow, so basically you are slowly fed into and sliced into strips over the course of six very painful days.
Nightflyer: Who would you put in THAT thing?
Joy: The scavenger that GirlWarriorX asked me to torture, and who shall remain nameless BECAUSE EVEN THEIR USERNAME WARRANTS DEATH, I HOPE THEY SUFFER FOR ALL ETERNITY IN HELL.
All: *slowly back away*
Kelp: So going back to non badass Winter,
Winter: I! AM! VERY! BADASS!!!
Qibli: *pats him on the head*
Qibli: Sure you are darling, go back to your tea set.
Winter:....IS THIS HOW WOMEN FEEL ALL THE TIME?!?
Moon: Occasionally.
Kinkajou: Ummmm
Carnelian: Not in the Sky Kingdom. Men rightfully cower before us.
Winter: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU IDIOTS SAY, I'M A BADASS.... I CAN RIP A PHONE BOOK IN HALF!
Winter: *takes phone book, pathetically tries to shred it*
Winter: OH COME ON.
Moon: Don't worry Winter, we still think you're strong.
Winter: *throws down phonebook in anger*
Winter: That's STUPID ANYWAY, NOBODY CAN RIP A P-
Carnelian: *rips phone book in half*
Joy: *rips two phone books in half*
Winter:.......*scowls*
Nightflyer: I vote we just do what Adam did in Good Omens for Winter.
Seashell: Which wassss?
Nightflyer: Why are you two people at once? You should go back to being two separate people. *snaps*
*Non-badass Winter is ripped out of Winter*
Winter: *screams*
Winter: Wait....WHY DOES NON BADASS ME GET TO BE A BOY?
Joy: Because you're only a girl because we said so. Pieces of your soul are still male.
Winter: DID YOU JUST RIP MY SOUL APART?!?!
Nightflyer: Think about it this way- we just made the weakest part of you a Horcrux and now you're stronger and invincible until it's destroyed.
Winter: Well.... that's actually awesome.
Joy: Yeah, now destroy it.
Winter: WHAT!
Rainkeeper: Joy, you have to say it in words he can understand.
Rainkeeper: TEAH, now kill a piece of yourself for our own personal entertainment.
Joy: WILL YOU STOP SAYING TEAH, NOBODY THINKS IT'S FUNNY!
Air: Killing pieces of yourself happened on Supernatural once.
Nightflyer:.....WHAT DRUGS DO THE WRITERS OF YOUR SHOW EVEN TAKE?!?!?
Air: Imma guess all of them.
Air:....Don't do drugs kids.
Kelp: Unless it's one that keeps you alive. Like a vaccine.
Air: *takes out the keyboard and hits Kelp with it*
Air: STOP COMMENTING ON CURRENT ISSUES!
Joy: You get free range of my weapons for this Winter.
Winter: Can I kill you with them afterwards?
Joy:.....
Joy: What do you flippin think?
Non-badass Winter: Wait....What's going on?
Non-badass Winter: I'm scared.
Moon/Qibli: *screech and hug non-badass Winter*
Winter: Seriously?
Moon: SHUT UP THIS IS THE PART OF YOU WE LOVE MOST!
Qibli: CAN BADASS WINTER DIE AND WE KEEP THIS ONE INSTEAD?!?!?
Non-badass Winter: Aww, you're sweet. And so WARM *smiles*
Moon: Oh my moons he SMILED. WINTER NEVER SMILES.
Qibli: WHERE HAS THIS SWEET BEAN BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!
Nightlfyer: In a cupboard under some stairs!
Winter: Yeah well, don't get too attached. He's gonna die now. *revs chainsaw*
Non-badass Winter: W-what?
Moon/Qibli: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
Moon: THIS IS MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD AND I REFUSE TO LET YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME
Qibli: IF WINTER WANTS TO KILL WINTER THEN HE HAS TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST!
Winter: Okay. *kills Qibli*
All: *screams*
Turtle: WHAT THE HELL?!!?!?
Air: Uh oh.
Seashell: I guess in addition to taking out his non-badassness, we also removed his emotions towards Moon and Qibli...
Moon: THEN YOU CAN'T KILL HIM! *hugs non-badass Winter protectively*
Kelp: Moon, he'll come back!
Moon: BUT IT'S NEVER THE SAME! *wails*
Kinkajou: *drags Moon away*
Winter: *kills non-badass Winter*
Moon: *cries*
Winter: There, dare done.
Winter: NOW MAKE ME A BOY AGAIN!
Hosts: NOPE! *disappears*
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