Nightflyer: So, Air's in a calm environment now.

Joy: Calm how?

Nightflyer: Think of a room stuffed full of super soft blankets and pillows that plays nothing but soft, calming music and feel good, happy movies. You also get a puppy upon entering, and desserts are delivered regularly, along with tissues for when you remember why you're there and start crying.

Seashell: I......I need this room.

Rainkeeper: Me too.

*players appear*

Kelp: So it's ABOUT TIME we did this dare!

Joy: Apologizes for the wait.

Winter: What is it?

Rainkeeper: YOU ALL HAVE TO LIST YOUR FAVORITE STAR WARS CHARACTERS!

Starflight: YES!

Rainkeeper: HELL YEAH! *high fives Starflight*

Kelp: Clay, you start.

Clay: I like the Ewoks. They're like little teddy bears.

Peril: Darth Maul.

Riptide: Han Solo

Deathbringer: No way Han Solo's MY favorite!

Rainkeeper: Let's  just agree that Han Solo is awesome.

Riptide: Done.

Tsunami: Rey.

Glory: Leia.

Starflight: Obi-wan.

Fatespeaker: Maz Kanata.

Sunny: BB-8

Umber: POE DAMERON.

Carnelian: Darth Vader.

Turtle: Mace Windu

Kinkajou: Chirrut Îmwe, I'm one with the force, the force is with me.

Turtle: I'm one with the force, the force is with me.

Kinkajou: I'monewiththeforcetheforceiswithme.

Turtle: I'MONEWITHTHEFORCETHEFORCEISWITHME

Qibli: Dude. YODA.

Moon: Jyn Erso.

Winter: Count Dooku

Seashell: Great, only one overlap.

Joy: Deathbringer, pick someone else.

Deathbringer: Chewbacca.

Nightflyer: Wonderful.

Rainkeeper: All great choices.

Joy: And now for the catch.

Starflight: Wait what-

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*All players shrink to the size of a bear*

Kelp: You have to fight the character you picked.

All: *screeches in rage*

Glory: MAKE ME BIG AGAIN, I HATE YOU.

Winter: I HATE BEING SMALL!

Deathbringer: Is that-

Glory: *clamps talon over Deathbringer's snout*

Glory: CHILDREN READ THESE, DEATHY.

Deathbringer: Still? I thought we made it obvious that they shouldn't.

Nightflyer: Mature ratings only go so far.

Joy: True.

Rainkeeper: Now, FIGHT TIME.

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*Everyone appears in Gladiator arena*

Nightflyer: Now, a word to the wise everyone. DON'T GO ON ANY BRIDGES.

Riptide: Wait, why-

Rainkeeper: Pretty much everyone in Star Wars who has gone on a bridge has either died or lost a hand.

Kelp: True,

Nightflyer: So just STAY OFF THE BRIDGES!

Qibli: Got it.

Joy: And with that, LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE!

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*Everyone's opponents appear*

Darth Maul: *unleashes lightsaber*

Peril: Welp, time to see if these things can kill me.

Clay: EWOKS!!!!

 Ewok: *hisses*

Clay: *hugs them*

Tsunami: Sorry Rey. You gotta go. *cracks knuckles*

Rey: *cracks Tsunami in the skull with a stick*

Tsunami: OW!!! BITCH!

Riptide: *being chased by Han Solo with a blaster*

Riptide: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Kelp:Riptide, you have to fight him!

Riptide: With WHAT? I HAVE NO DEFENSES AGAINST THE GREAT HAN SOLO!

Nightflyer: Cause I'm Kevin Freaking Solo.

Rainkeeper: Who?

Nightflyer:....Sorry, Air's usually the one who makes the Supernatural references. I felt the need to fill the gap....

Rainkeeper: Oh, okay.

Glory: *sighs*

Glory: I don't want to do this.

Glory: It's such an insult. Both to Princess Leia, and late great Carrie Fisher.

Glory: But I'm not going to get my ass beaten by some wannabe Jedi, so she's gotta go. 

Glory: *unleashes magical death spit*

Rainkeeper: My mother just insulted Princess Leia.

Joy: Are you sad or proud?

Rainkeeper:........Both.

Deathbringer: Yeah Glory! Kick her ass!

Chewbacca: *roars*

Deathbringer: Oops.

Chewbacca: *raises crossbow*

Deathbringer: Look buddy, I'm good friends with Han! We're all pals here, right?

Chewbacca: *fires crossbow*

Deathbringer: *snatches the arrow*

Deathbringer: Well now you've just pissed me off.

Starflight: *running away in terror*

Starflight: WHY DID I PICK OBI-WAN, WHY DID I PICK OBI-WAN!?!?!?!? 

Obi-wan: *raises lightsaber*

Fatespeaker: *chatting and swapping gossip with Maz Kanata while their boyfriend's get slaughtered*

Sunny: *kicks BB-8 like a soccer ball*

Sunny: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay-

BB-8: *zaps her with a laser*

Sunny: OW! You little-

Carnelian: *is in an epic lightsaber battle with Darth Vader*

Umber: Oh, just kill me. You're too cute to die.

Poe:......Okay.

Umber: Wait, no-

Turtle: *force battling Mace Windu*

Moon: *has been annihilated by Jyn Erso*

Winter: *fighting Count Dooku*

Kinkajou: *walking through the battlefield unharmed with Chirrut Îmwe*

Chirrut Îmwe: I'm one with the force, the force is with me.

Kinkajou: I'm one with the force, the force is with me.

Kinkajou/Chirrut Îmwe: *keep chanting*

Qibli: *screaming and running circles*

Yoda: *perched on Qibli's head with his lightsaber, waiting*

Hosts: *sit back with popcorn and watch the battle unfold*

Seashell: I still haven't seen Solo yet.

Nightflyer: And I still haven't seen Crimes of Grindlewald. Life is unfair.

Rainkeeper: I still haven't seen the second Guardians of the Galaxy.

Joy: I have seen NO Avengers movies. 

Kelp: Psst, forget that. Have you seen the new Stranger Things trailer?

Joy: HELL YEAH.

Seashell: See, that's what's important.

*Qibli's head randomly lands in the stands*

Hosts:...........

Joy: Remind me to recruit Yoda for the Squad.