Seashell: So, um, this part might be a little drunk.

Air: But only cuz the author is sick.

Joy: And thinking is... it's like being underwater or something.

Air: NO.

Nightflyer: Oh, here we go again.

Air: BEING POSSESSED BY MICHAEL IS LIKE DROWNING AND CHUCKDAMMIT CAN'T IT JUST BE THURSDAY AND HAVE THE NEXT EPISODE COME OUT YET?!!?!?!?!

Joy: In other news, we finally got around to watching A Star is Born, and Kelp cried.

Kelp: I DID NOT.

Joy: OH YES YOU DID.

Rainkeeper: It was a great movie.

Joy:........

Kelp:..........

Joy: Tell me something, boy.

Kelp: OH MY GOSH, I CRIED SO HARD, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SHOW THE DOG WAITING OUTSIDE THE GARAGE I WAS DYING.

Joy: There it is.

*players appear*

Starflight:....Dude.....coke....

Fatespeaker: He's such a druggie.

Riptide: How much longer is Starflight a drug addict?

Rainkeeper: Just one more dare after this.

Nightflyer: Then he'll go to rehab and be normal again.

Starflight: NO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO REHAB!

Joy: They try to make me go to rehab, but I said NO, NO, NO! 

Air: Yes I've been black, but when I come back, you'll

Joy/Air: Know, know, know!

Starflight: *does cocaine*

Umber: So, what's the dare?

Rainkeeper: Oh, Joy has to purge you all and only one of you can survive.

Players:........

Clay: Um....what's purge mean?

Joy: It means I get to murder you all. *slips on mask*

Rainkeeper: So, Kelp, let me know how much you like Joy after you watch her murder sixteen dragons.

Kelp: Got it. Still gonna love her.

Air: I'll put on the murdering song.

Nightflyer: We have a murdering song?

Air: Oh yeah, they used it in Supernatural before they killed somebody, and I still think it's the best song to play before you kill somebody.

Joy: I agreed.

Deathbringer: Wait-

Hosts: *disappear*

Joy: *revs chainsaw*

Joy: This is gonna be fun.

*White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane starts blasting*

Umber: SHIT.

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small

Joy: *kills Carnelian with a chainsaw*

And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all

Joy: *grabs knives and stabs Turtle*

Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall

Joy: *stabs Riptide*

And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall

Joy: *leaves a knife in Sunny's head*

Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call

Joy: *starts humming along to the song*

Winter: Screw this, I'm not just gonna sit back and die. *lunges at Joy*

And call Alice, when she was just small

Joy: *has a length of barbed wire, strangles Winter with it*

Joy: *kills Moon*

When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go

And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low

Joy: *loads revolver and shoots Peril*

Go ask Alice, I think she'll know

Joy: *shoots Clay*

When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead

Joy: *shoots Qibli*

And the white knight is talking backwards

Joy: *shoots Umber*

And the red queen's off with her head

Joy: *shoots Fatespeaker*

Remember what the doorknob said

Joy: *goes on murderous rampage*

Deathbringer: I refuse to let you kill Glory!

Joy: Okay. *kills Deathbringer, then shoots Glory*

Starflight: *is completely tripping and just watches Joy murder everyone*

Feed your head, feed your head

*last note echoes*

Joy: *takes off mask*

Joy: That was fun. *wipes blood off weapons*

Kinkajou: *curled up in a ball, shaking in fear*

Kinkajou: W-why me?

Joy: Eh, you're too peppy to kill.

Kinkajou: O-okay.

Hosts: *stare wide eyed*

Air: You murdered them.....

Joy: That's what I was supposed to do, remember?

Air: Yeah, but....

Rainkeeper: Wow.

Kelp: Yep, she's crazy.

Rainkeeper: FINALLY, you realize this!

Kelp: But she's MY crazy. 

Joy: See Rainkeeper, even as a mass murderer, he still loves me.

Air: It's a strong bond, but not as strong as others.

Seashell: Do I have to resurrect them all now?

Air: Not all of them, wait for it.

Seashell: Wait for wha-

Qibli: *wakes up and screams*

Joy: *points knife at him* I thought I killed you.

Qibli: WINTER! 

Winter: *wakes up*

Winter: WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?

Joy: Why-

Air: Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day.

Joy:......

Nightflyer: Where did you even hear that?

Air: It's an ACTUAL LINE FROM SUPERNATURAL. Honestly, you can't say that in a show and then NOT want people to think everybody's gay.

Seashell: Weird. *snaps talons*

*Everybody revives*

Deathbringer: JOY WHAT THE HELL.

Joy: What?

Deathbringer: YOU KILLED ME!

Joy: Yeah.

Deathbringer: I THOUGHT WE WERE COOL!

Joy: We are!

Deathbringer: THEN WHAT THE FUCK?!?!!?

Joy: *shrugs*

Deathbringer: I thought you'd never hurt me like this.

Joy: What can I say? I'm a bad liar.

Hosts: *gasps*

Glory: Oh you did that one on purpose.

Joy: Uh, DUH.

All: SO LOOK ME IN THE EYES, TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE. PERFECT PARADISE, TEARIN' AT THE SEAMS!

I WISH I COULD ESCAPE, I DON'T WANNA FAKE IT.

WISH I COULD ERASE IT, MAKE YOUR HEART BELIEVE!

BUT I'M A BAD LIAAAAAAAR! BAD LIAAAAAAR!

NOW YOU KNOW, NOW YOU KNOW, 

THAT I'M A BAD LIAAAAR, BAD LIAAAAAR

NOW YOU KNOW, YOU'RE FREE TO GO!