Rainkeeper: Alright, I want you to give me your best 'shower thought'. Go.

Nightflyer: If the government really is watching everyone in the world, then that means there's one agent for every person in the world, which means that there's a whole nother 7 BILLION people that the government have hidden from us.

Nightflyer:......Where do they live?

Joy: If Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel all marry an Archeron sister, then they'll be brothers through marriage and actual family, rather than just saying they're brothers and having no proof.

Air:....Where DO the ducks in Central Park go in the winter?

Kelp: What happens to the famous people that suddenly stop appearing in movies or putting out music? Are they okay? Are they dead? Will we ever learn?

Rainkeeper: what if the conspiracy theories are right and Doritos DO cause cancer? *eats dorito thoughtfully*

Seashell: If I hit myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Joy: *punches Seashell*

Seashell: OW!!

Joy: You're weak.

*players appear*

Kinkajou: *drops*

Kinkajou: *starts crying*

Kinkajou: I WANNA GO OUTSIIIIDEEEE!!!!!!

Turtle: *curls up in a small ball in the corner*

Turtle: No. Indoors.

Joy: Take it away Penny!

Turtle: I know of a place where you never get harmed! A magical place with magical charms! Indoors, Indooooooors, INDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORS!!!!!!!

Qibli: I'm ugly and I'm proud!

Winter: So that's what he calls it.

Kelp: So we've been doing a lot of song related dares lately,

Moon: So we're going to do something different and unique today, right?

Amber: Moon, I need you to shut the hell up.

Joy: Nope! It's another song.

Air: And another Winter dare, cause we're trying to finish his girly 15 before this ends!

Winter: *braces self*

Winter: Alright. I'm semi-ready. Hit me.

Nightflyer: Just sing I Like Boys by Todrick Hall to your family.

Winter: Doesn't it defeat the purpose of singing a song about being gay if I'm a girl?

Hosts:........

Rainkeeper: No.

Amber: Do my skittles jokes suddenly mean nothing because I'm technically a straight girl now? NO.

Winter: But-

Amber: *throws skittles at Winter like it's glitter*

Amber: Ssshhhhhhhh

Amber: Tassste the raiiiinbow.

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*Hailstorm, Icicle, Narwhal, Tundra, and Glacier appear*

Winter: Oh, you brought the extended family in and everything.

Joy: No, we just want to do Blacier stuff in the background while you sing.

*Blaze appears*

Blaze: *loud shriek, runs over, hugs Glacier*

Narwhal: Glacier-?

Glacier: Not a word, brother, or I'll have you demoted to seventh circle. *kisses Blaze*

Narwhal: *horrified but silent*

Rainkeeper: Happy Earth day by the way.

Nightflyer: Oh, and while we're mentioning important upcoming days, April 24th is a Day of Silence in order to protest and 'highlight the silencing and erasure of LGBTQ people at school' so if you want to participate, wear black and don't talk all day. I'm pretty sure the day for it is April 24th worldwide, but correct me if I'm wrong.

Tundra: I don't understand. WHY are we here?

Rainkeeper: Because Winter's going to sing a song for you.

Hailstorm: *looks around* But...He's not...here...

Winter: I'M RIGHT HERE YOU ASSHOLES.

Icicle: Oh my moons, he's a chick.

Narwhal: WHAT IS THIS?

Winter: Hell. This is my hell.

Amber: *slaps him for complaining*

Joy: Just sing, Winnie, because us hosts just listened to this song for the first time like five seconds before you got here, and I love it.

Air: It's beautiful. And very Winchester worthy.

Winter: *sighs*

Kelp: *clicks play on boombox*

*music starts*

Winter: Mama come, come doll, take a seat
There's someone you know that you've got to meet

Tundra: *sits* Okaaaaay

Winter: So brace yourself for the big reveal
He's about my height when he's not in heels

Tundra: Wait what?

Winter: Some boys play basketball
He played house with ratchet dolls

Icicle: Ha, loser.

Winter: It's not Santa Claus, it's time for applause
It's comin' out the closet

Air: *opens closet door and shouts into it*

Air: I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE DEAN! 

Winter: Mama, I like boys, 

Tundra: YOU WHAT?

Winter: I like pecs
Like them arms when they flex
Like that print in them sweats
Tell them girls, "Thank you, next"

Winter: I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em
Like them abs when there's six of 'em
Tell them girls I'm sorry
I like boys
Mama, boys like me (I like boys who like boys)
Mama (I like boys who like boys)
Work (I like boys who like boys)
Mama (I like boys who like)
Boys like me, yeah (boys like me)
Yeah, they do (boys like me)
Ooh (boys like me)
Motherfuckin' boys like me (bitch)

Air: He likes boys, finally now it's all makin sense....

Nightflyer: Wrong song, Air.

Air: Dang.

Winter: I like when they shake it, shake it

Joy: Who doesn't? *looks at Kelp*

Kelp: *goes very, very red*

Winter: I like when they grind real slow (real slow)
I like when they almost naked (damn)
Tell dad I'm so homo

Narwhal: Excuse me?

Amber: HE SAID HE'S SO HOMO.

Qibli: *flips open FBI badge* No homo.

Qibli: Full bi. *kisses Moon*

Winter: Lights off, doors shut
Tall, dark, clean-cut
Thick with a bubble butt, yup
Mama, I like boys, I like pecs
Like them arms when they flex-

Seashell: Have- Have you SEEN the arms?

Winter: Like that print in them sweats
Tell them girls, "Thank you, next"
I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em
Like them abs when there's six of 'em
Tell them girls I'm sorry
I like boys

Mama, boys like me (I like boys who like boys)

Mama (I like boys who like boys)

Winter: Work (I like boys who like boys)
Mama (I like boys who like)
Boys like me, yeah (boys like me)
They do (boys like me)
Haha (boys like me)
Motherfuckin' boys like me (bitch)
Style like they name Harry
Chocolate like Tyrese
I pick him up at Barry's
Crunch, Planet Fitness

Rainkeeper: Oh my moons, everything about the planet fitness where we live makes sense now.....

Winter: Shirt off in the lawn
Sizzlin' like grease

Joy: SOMEBODY CATCH THE GREASED UP DEAF GUY!

Kelp: Family guy reference? Really?

Winter: By day his name Gaston
By night I call him Beast

Seashell:........

Seashell: *conflicted screaming*

Nightflyer: arE yoU FRIgHTenEd?

Winter: Bitch, B to the O to the Y to the S
Boys will be boys and with boys I'm obsessed
Boys in their gym clothes, boys in a dress

Qibli: I wore a dress once.....

Hailstorm: You did what?

Qibli: *winks*

Hailstorm: *disturbed*

Winter: And if boys are a crime then I'm under arrest

Narwhal: Well at least he admits it. SOMEBODY ARREST HIM.

Winter: 'Cause I've been boy crazy since the boy scouts

Nightflyer: Um-

Nightflyer: Well.....

Nightflyer: Nevermind.

Winter: Fuck the closets, let the boys out
Don't be a camel when you are a llama, period

Air: It's an alpaca, dumbass.

Winter: No comma, bring on all the drama
Mama, I like boys, I like pecs
Like them arms when they flex
Like that print in them sweats
Tell them girls, "Thank you, next"
I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em
Like them abs when there's six of 'em
Tell them girls I'm sorry
I like boys
Mama, boys like me (I like boys who like boys)
Hahaha (I like boys who like boys)
Work (I like boys who like boys)
Mama (yeah) (I like boys who like)
Boys like me (sorry) (boys like me)
Not sorry (boys like me)
(Boys like me)
Motherfuckin' boys like me, bitch

Amber: Can we all just agree that the chorus is SO FREAKING CATCHY-

Air: *singing along* I like pecs, like them arms when they flex-

Nightflyer: *staring*

Air:........What?

Nightflyer: Nothing, please continue.

Air:.......Like them abs when there's six of 'em,

Winter:......So?

Hailstorm: So how long have you and Qibli been dating?

Winter: WHAT?!!!

Qibli: Only about a year.

Hailstorm: Aw, when's your anniversary?

Winter: HAILSTORM!

Tundra: That was disgusting, I only have two children, can I go home now?

Joy: You're excused, stupid cow.

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*Winter's family disappears*

Winter: Can I be a real boy again yet?

Nightflyer: One more dare yet, Pinocchio.

Winter: *inhales*

Winter: *world's longest sigh*