Shore: Some people want a spinoff book after LTCC.

Haze: A spinoff book?

Shore: yeah.

Haze: About WHAT?

Shore: I don't know.

*players appear*

Joy: Hey, wanna go free fall 48 feet?

All:.....

Rainkeeper: No.

Kelp: That sounds terrifying, yet fun.

Joy: Kelp gets it.

Seashell: How many more of these cat dares do we have left?

Permafrost: Including this one? Two.

Seashell: *sighs* Okay.

Ember: But for nooooowwwww,

Ander: *snaps talons*

*Pear's parents appear*

Joy: Wait...Why are they-

Rainkeeper: MY TURN?

Ander: *turns Pear's parents into cats*

Ember: Yep.

Rainkeeper: YES!

Pear's father: For starters, what-

Rainkeeper: I've been waiting several years to do this.

Rainkeeper: And I don't care if you land on your feet because you're cats.

Rainkeeper: THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!!!

Rainkeeper: *dropkicks them off the mountain*

Joy: *applauds*

Pear's Parents: *fall, die, respawn*

Rainkeeper: Cue the music.

Shore: *clicks on boombox*

*Dumb Ways to Die starts playing*

Set fire to your hair

Rainkeeper: *lights Pear's mother on fire*

Poke a stick at a grizzly bear

Rainkeeper: *unleashes a grizzly bear on Pear's father*

Eat medicine that's out of date

Rainkeeper: *pours expired medicine down Pear's mother's throat*

Use your private parts as Piranha baitDumb ways to die
so many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie
so many dumb ways to dieGet your toast out with a forkDo your own electrical work

Rainkeeper: *electrocutes Pear's father*

Teach your self how to fly

Rainkeeper: I believe you can fly!

Rainkeeper: *throws Pear's mother off the mountain again*

Eat a two week old unrefridgerated pie

Rainkeeper: Eat the pie.

Pear's father: *cries and eats the expired pie*

Air: Lucifer rises because Dean wanted pie.

Nightflyer: We know.

Air: Dude. PIE.

Nightflyer: I know.

Air: One day, I want Sam to wake up with super short hair, and for Dean to set down the clippers and go "Long hair, short hair, pie or cake. What's the difference, right?"

Nightflyer:......I want that.

Dumb ways to die
so many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie
so many dumb ways to dieInvite a psycho killer inside

*knock on door*

Pear's mother: Who is it? *opens door*

Joy: Hi, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Smith & Wesson?

Pear's mother: Uh-

Joy:  *shoots her*

Scratch a drug dealer's brand new ride

Cyrus: WHO DID THIS?

Rainkeeper: Him. *points at Pear's father*

Cyrus: *has Pear's father killed*

Take your helmet off in outer space

Rainkeeper: *launches Pear's mother into space*

Pear's mother: *dies of lack of oxygen*

Nightflyer: Did you know that birds would die in space because, due to the lack of gravity, they would be unable to swallow?

Air: Wouldn't.... wouldn't they just die without lack of oxygen?

Nightflyer: Well, yes, but if there WAS oxygen in space, they would still die because-

Kelp: So they're going to die in space, Nightflyer, I don't think many people care how.

Joy: I do. Interesting death facts are interesting!

All:.......

Use a clothes dryer as a hiding place

Rainkeeper: *forces Pear's father into a dryer and turns it on*

Pear's father: *screams and dies*

Dumb ways to die
so many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie
so many dumb ways to dieKeep a rattle snake as a pet

Rainkeeper: *dumps Pear's mother into a pile of angry rattlenskaes*

Pear's mother: *screams and dies*

Sell both your kidneys on the internet
Eat a tube of super glue

Rainkeeper: *makes Pear's father eat super glue*

Kelp: Is.... Is this what you meant by scary Rainkeeper?

Joy: You mean the guy that's torturing Pear's parents with painful deaths?

Kelp: Yeah.

Joy: Oh, yes, definitely. This is scary Rainkeeper territory.

Joy:......It makes me a little proud, actually.

I wonder what's this red button do

Pear's mother: *presses button*

Pear's mother: *dies*

Ember: Wow, the ASDF button took a dark turn.

Shore: Pointless button. Waring: Pointless.

Dumb ways to die
so many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie
so many dumb ways to dieDress up like a moose during hunting season

Air: *starts laughing uncontrollably*

Rainkeeper: *puts Pear's father in a Sam Winchester cosplay and sends him into the woods*

Pear's father: *gets mistaken as a moose and is shot*

Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason

Pear's Mother: *pokes wasp's nest*

Pear's mother: *screams and is attacked by bees*

Air:....

Nightflyer: No.

Air: Today in the garden, I followed a honeybee.

Nightflyer:....Not the quote I thought you were going for, okay.

Stand on the edge of a train station platformdrive around the boom gates at a level crossing
run across the tracks between the platforms
they may not rhyme, but they are quite possibly
the Dumbest ways to die
the dumbest ways to die
the dumbest ways to die-ie-ie-ie
so many dumb
so many dumb ways to die

Rainkeeper: *shoves Pear's father in front of a moving train*

Pear's Parents: *die*

Joy: Feel better?

Rainkeeper:....Sure.

Ember: Great, dare done, now we can get back to our conspiracy theories.

Seashell: Your what now?

Ander: Yes, they come up with conspiracy theories for some bizarre reason.

Kelp: Can.... can we hear one?

Shore: Sure.

Haze: Pink Floyd is secretly the Illuminati and their songs are brainwashing you without you knowing it. 

Players:........

Joy: Wut.

Permafrost: IT's because the album cover reminds us of the Illuminati, look.

Seashell: Okay, yeah, now I see it.

Kelp: Huh, and here I thought Bill Cipher was the Illuminati.

Ander: REMEMBER! Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, BYE!