Air: Sooooo, how was everyone's Valentine's Day?

Seashell: Another depressing reminder of how unloved I am.

Air: Oh come on, Seashell, surely you got ONE valentine!

Seashell: Yes, I got ONE. It was an email from Walgreen's.

Air:.....Oh.....

Rainkeeper: What about you, Air? Did you have a nice Valentine's Day?

Air: Of course! Nightflyer always makes a ton of plans on it.

Nightflyer: Well no duh. I'm a hopeless romantic, and Valentine's Day is the day when you allow me to spoil you.

Air: It's the best day. 

Nightflyer: Hell yeah.

Seashell: I hate Valentine's Day.

Rainkeeper: I know.

*players appear*

Air: Hey Umber?

Umber: Yeah?

Air: Remember how you told me you'd make Dean Winchester really gay so that Destiel would sail?

Umber: Ah, of course. How's that going?

Air: I think you tookit a little too far.

Air: Look.

Umber: Oh......

Umber: Still hot though.

Air: Change him back.

Umber: But.... tank tops....

Air:.........

Air: We'll talk later.

Turtle: So, what's today's dare, other then Umber making more people gay?

Umber: Oh, thanks for the reminder. Qibli, Winter, if you would.

Winter:......I hate you. SO MUCH.

Qibli: Don't hate on Umber, he was just releasing your inner self. 

Winter: No he wasn't-

Qibli: *kisses Winter*

Winter:.......

Qibli: Still hate him?

Winter:.......No.....

Moon: THIS. THIS IS ALL I WANTED.

Joy: Speaking of Moon.

Moon: Oh no.

Umber: Are my gay powers needed?

Seashell: That might be helpful actually, yeah.

Umber: Yay! Moon you're gay!

Moon: Why....

Nightflyer: Turtle, we have some bad news.

Turtle: Oh no.

Rainkeeper: We're very sorry.

Turtle: I'm scared.

Air: I promise you, we will fix this as soon as we can.

Joy: We're so sorry.

Turtle: WHAT HAPPENED?

Rainkeeper: We need to break up Turtlejou for a little while.

Turtle: WHAT?

Kinkajou: WHAT? EXCUSE ME! I WAS NOT CONSULTED ON THIS!!!

Air: I know for a fact the females were not consulted about this.

Kinkajou: hELL NO. You can't take me from my Turtledove!

Seashell: Actually, we need you to marry Moon for three dares.

Moon: Um..... I'm sorry......WHAT?

Kinkajou: BUT-

Joy: No cuts, no buts, no fucks, no coconuts.

Kelp: That doesn't rhyme the way you want it to.

Joy: Don't care.

Kinkajou: But I don't WANNA MARRY MOON! 

Moon: And technically I'm already married to Qibli AND Winter! I can't marry her too!

Nightflyer: Technically, yes you can. It's called polyandry.

Air: I thought it was called Mormonism...

Nightflyer: That's...... 

Nightflyer: Wait a minute.

Joy: Single he told me. Single my ass. Not only was he married, no. He had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know?

Kelp: Pop.

Joy: Six.

Kelp: Squish.

Joy: Ah ah.

Kelp: Cicero.

Joy: Lipschitz.

Kelp: DE DU DUUUU

Joy/Kelp: *violently sing along to the Cell Block Tango*

Rainkeeper:.....And this is why Kelp is here.

Air: Ah, a marriage. SEASON 7 TIME FOR A WEDDING!

Nightflyer: Did you ever stop and realize that if Sam Winchester and Gabriel get married, Sam's ex wife dated Gabriel's father, and Sam's father in law?

Air:....The more you think about how entwined the angel family tree is with the Winchesters, the more messed up it gets.

Kinkajou: I DON'T WANNA MARRY MOON! She's my best friend, yes, but TURTLE!

Moon: Aren't you technically married to Turtle?

Kinkajou: Yes.

Turtle: We got married in a pool of holy water.

Kinkajou: That was a fun day.

Nightflyer: MAWAGE.

Air: *starts giggling uncontrollably*

Nightflyer: IS WOT BWINGS US TOGEDER TOODAY. MAWAGE, THAT BWESSED AWANGEMENT, THAT DWEAM WIFIN A DWEAM!

Nightflyer: *puts colanders on Kinkajou and Moon's heads*

Moon: NU-

Nightflyer: BOOM! You're married. Tough shit.

Moon:.......DAMMIT.

Umber: JANET.

Moon: Oh no.

Umber: Come on , Carnie, be my backup.

Carnelian: Do I have to?

Umber: Hell yes, you're my bestie and I'm your Gay BFF.

Carnelian:....No....

Umber: YEP! 

Umber: The road was long, but I ran it!

Carnelian: Janet.

Umber: There's a fire in my heart and you fan it, 

Carnelian: Janet.

Umber: If there's one fool for you then I am it

Carnelian: Janet

Umber: Now I've one thing to say and that's-

*Starflight falls from the ceiling, high on cocaine*

Starflight: DAMMIT JANET.

Umber: I love you!!!

Winter: You do realize it's the wrong time of year to be referencing the Rocky Horror Picture Show, right?

Umber: There's never a wrong time to reference Rocky Horror.

Winter: But-

Umber: I'M JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE, FROM TRANSSEXUAL TRANSYLVANIA!!!

Winter: *facetalons*

Kinkajou: So Moon is my wife now.

Moon: Yep.

Kinkajou: By extension, does that mean I'm also married to Qibli and Winter?

Qibli: Three moons, I hope not.

Air: Oh hey folks. Since it was Valentine's Day.....

Air: WHAT'S THE FLUFFIEST MOMENT YOUR OTP HAS EVER HAD?