Rainkeeper: Someone help, I've had 'Gay or European' playing in my head nonstop for THREE DAYS.

Hosts:.........

Joy: THERE. RIGHT THERE.

Rainkeeper: NO.

Nightflyer: Look what we're seein'

Air: What are we seeing?

Nightflyer: IS HE GAAAAAAAAYYY

Air: Of course he's gay!

Nightflyer: OR EUROPEAN?

Hosts:.......

Hosts: Oooohhhhh

Rainkeeper: *screeches*

*Shore, Rin, Ander, Ember, Hopeseeker, Stream, and Apple appear*

Shore: Oh sweet! Are we hosting today?

Joy: Nope.

Kelp: In your dreams, buddy.

Rainkeeper: Buuuuuudddddyyyyyyy

Ember: Then why are we......

Ember: NO.

Air: Yes.

Ember: ABSOLUTELY NOT, I THOUGHT WE WERE EXEMPT!

Nightflyer: No one is exempt from DARES.

Players: *scream in fear*

Apple: Is it singing at least?

Rainkeeper: Not even close.

Apple: *screams*

Ander: *raises talons* I'd like to request my emotional support animal.

Joy: Is it Ray?

Ander: No, it's a mongoose, you idioto. Of course it's Ray.

Kelp: In that case, NO

Ander: WHY.

Kelp: Because I said so.

Seashell: We need you all to share your deepest, darkest secret.

Players:........

Stream: In.... In front of our parents?

Air: Yep.

Ember: NO.

Apple: Oh please no.

Rin: I'll share in front of whoever you want, just not you guys.

Joy: So you'd share your deepest darkest secret with Deathbringer and Grandeur, but not me?

Rin:......I TAKE IT BACK.

Joy: That's what I thought.

Air: Hope, sweeite, you go first.

Hope: WHY.

Air: Because you're cute and innocent. 

Nightflyer: Deepest, darkest secret. Go.

Hope:.....I snuck into a homophobic dragon's sleeping cave at JMA and bound his wings so that Stream and Willow could shove him off a small cliff the next day.

Nightlfyer/Air:..........

Nightflyer: Cute and innocent, huh?

Air: *wipes away tears* I'm so proud.

Seashell: Why didn't you just tie him up yourself?

Stream: He was a light sleeper- Hope is small and super quiet.

Hope: SUPER QUIIIEEEETTT!!!!!!!

Ember: Yeaaaaahhhh, suuuureeeee

Rainkeeper: See this is why the world needs a sarcasm font. So we can stop stretching out words like that.

Joy: I'll start a petition. If the whole squad signs, we'll have over a hundred already.

Rainkeeper: How is your squad, by the way?

Joy: *stares*

Joy: *slowly walks backwards, out of the room*

Nightflyer: Honestly, we might hand the cop show over to somebody else, sad as it'll make us.

Air: WE SUCK AT UPDATING, WE ARE VERY WELL AWARE.

Nightflyer: Wolf.

Seashell: But we're writing a ton more because we're stuck in quarantine, right?

Air:........

Nightflyer:........

Joy:............

Kelp:..........

Rainkeeper:..........

Seashell:.........

Seashell: So.... So that's a no, then.....

Air: I am borderline stalking the supernatural cast.

Nightflyer: I've been reading banned books for the rebellious thrill.

Rainkeeper: Three words. Fantasy book fanart.

Kelp: There's still school so like.... essays count as writing, right?

Seashell: *facetalons and sighs*

Seashell: Stream! Darkest secret!

Stream: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Stream: I met Coral once, entirely by accident. She didn't know who I was, obviously, so I spit in her face and then ran like hell. 

Joy: *bursts out laughing*

Stream: I think one of her guards chased after me, but most of them were just trying to hold back their own laughter.

Kelp: *laughs* She hates us.

Joy: THE WHOLE WORLD!

Kelp: The whole world hates us.

Rainkeeper: Apple?

Apple: When I was younger, I went into one of the caves in the forest, I was completely lost by the way, Pear lost me a lot more than you think, and the bottom of the cave was all muddy, so I did a bunch of cringey finger paintings on the walls, and some Nightwing found them a little while ago, and since the mud hardened on the walls, they think it's some prehistoric cave painting from early Rainwings, and is doing a whole study on them and is attempting to decipher this 'early form of the dragon langauge', but really it's just my horrible writing as a baby dragonet. I don't have the heart to tell him.

Rainkeeper: *starts laughing*

Nightflyer: I.... I think I read his study, actually....

Rainkeeper: *laughs harder*

Air: Ember?

Ember: Hmm, let's see.....

Ember: Oh. Oh nooooooooo

Nightflyer: Spill.

Ember: *shakes head frantically*

Air: Ember-

Ember: JUST SOMEBODY RESTRAIN MY MOTHER WHILE I TALK PLEASE.

Joy: *puts Air in a headlock*

Joy: Proceed.

Air: What the hell-

Ember: When I was little, I was playing with some rocks, and I accidentally broke one Air's sculptures- one of the first ones she ever made, actually- and I was so scared that she'd be mad at me for breaking it, so I decided to try and fix it, but I wasn't sure how. But then I remembered that Nile had told me once that... well, that animal poop helped stick things back together, so I tried it and for some reason it worked, so now one of your sculptures is held together by old, hardened rabbit poop, and everyone was complaining about the smell for weeks, and you couldn't figure out where it was coming from, but I KNEW.

Air:........*struggles to get out of headlock*

Nightflyer: *turns away, trying so hard not to laugh*

Hope: EW.

Ember: I KNOW.

Joy: Alright, best for last. What's your dark secrets, kids?

Rin: Somebody cover Kelp's ears, please, I don't want dragons to die today.

Kelp: If anybody kills someone, it'll be Joy.

Rin:......Nah, I think she'll actually be pretty cool about this.

Rin: If I'm wrong, I'll accept my inevitable death.

Joy: Okay.

Seashell: *covers Kelp's ears*

Rin: I have a secret sex cave.

Joy: WHAT THE FUCK.

Rin: *shrugs* You asked for deepest and darkest.

Shore: I'm- I'm gonna go vomit for eternity now.

Stream: Way ahead of you. *gags*

Joy: So.... So like you and Parrot would-

Rin: Yeah. It wasn't just Parrot, of course, we have a pretty open relationship, so like me and Parrot, me and Permafrost-

Nightflyer: Please, just settle the ship war. Are you in love with Parrot or Permafrost?

Rin: Eh, a little from column A, a little from column B. I'm not picky.

Ander: I think the term is polyamorous, no?

Rin: Something like that. *smirks*

Joy: We're- We're gonna stop there.

Rin: Okay.

Seashell: *uncovers Kelp's ears*

Kelp: Well, nobody died, so what did I miss?

Joy/Rin: NOTHING.

Ander: Rahasia seksual sing peteng.

Kelp: Okaaaaay.

Kelp: Kelp? Secrets?

Shore: *looks around*

Shore: Okay, but you CAN'T TELL ANYONE.

Joy: Cross my heart and pray to Joe Pesci.

Kelp: Cross my heart and pray to Superman.

Seashell: How could you pray to-

Kelp: Hail Superman, wearing tights, Clark Kent be thy name, one nation, under Zod-

Seashell: Okaaaaay.

Joy: Shore, you were saying?

Shore: *whispers quietly*

Shore: Spongebob is REAL.

Hosts:.........

Air: what?

Shore: It's all real. I saw them. I  talked to them. Pretty cool guys, actually, but still. They're REAL.

Ander:......Hermano, have you been sniffing at my special mushrooms?

Shore: Good! You don't believe me. This never happened. MOVING ON.

Kelp: What about special mushrooms?

Ander: NADA!

Ander: Um, super secret.....

Ander: I know about the scavengers.

Rainkeeper: What do you mean?

Ander: They're alive.

Joy: Obviously....

Ander: They have tiny cities, and their own little language. They communicate and live just like us, only with much more fear. There is one who can speak to our kind, but all my attempts to find her have been futile. I wonder how the scavenger lifespan syncs up with the dragon one...

Air: Okaaaaaayyyy

Ander: Fear the dragonslayer. Befriend the leaves and others named for plants....

Joy: Alright then, that takes care of that.

Nightflyer: And now that that's over with.....

Hosts: *glance at each other*

Kelp: THERE. RIGHT THERE.

Joy: LOOK AT THAT TAN WELL TENDED SKIN,

Nightflyer: LOOK AT THE KILLER SHAPE HE'S IN,

Rainkeeper: Stoooooooooop!!

Air: LOOK AT THAT SLIGHTLY STUBBLY CHIN, OH PLEASE HE'S GAY, TOTALLY GAY.

Air: Wait a second....

Air: Tan well tended skin... killer shape he's in... slightly stubbly chin....

Nightflyer: They play peculiar sports, In shiny shirts and tiny shorts

Nightflyer: Well he's not European.

Air: SO IF I MAY, I'M PROUD TO SAY, HE'S GAAAAAAAAAY

All: AND EUROPEAN!

Air: HE'S GAAAAAAAYYYY

All: AND EUROPEAN! HOORAY!!!