Air: *inhales*

Air: JACK. YOU REBELLIOUS LITTLE FLEDGLING. SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND DON'T BE MEAN TO YOUR FATHERS.

Nightflyer: What the hell-

Air: I saw a preview for an episode where Jack says Lucifer's his dad, except that he's NOT. TEAM FREE WILL ARE YOUR DADS, JACK, DAMMIT, AND YOU KNOW IT. 

Nightflyer: I wanna slap him.

Air: He's too precious to be slapped, and yet I wanna bitchslap him.

Nightflyer: It's difficult bein a parent. Knowin' when ta hug your child, when ta kill 'em.

Air: SHUT UP ROWENA, NOW IS NOT THE TIME.

*players appear*

Starflight: Do it.

Fatespeaker: but why-

Starflight: Just do it!!

Fatespeaker: *sighs*

Fatespeaker: WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY, WE'RE ALL CHILDREN OF JESUS!

Starflight: *snorts cocaine*

Fatespeaker: KUMBAAYAAAAA MY LORD!!!

Rainkeeper: We really need to get him off the cocaine.

Starflight: NO. I LIKE COCAINE!

Joy: Honey, I have two seasons worth of Narcos that shows you why you SHOULDN'T do cocaine.

Starflight: *starts humming Bubblegum bitch*

Clay: What's the dare of the day?

Air: Day of the dare, I like that.

Nightflyer: You know what it reminds me of?

Seashell: Oh no.

Rainkeeper: A certain type of poetry, perhaps?

Joy: Not this again.

Kelp: What-

Nifghtflyer: H-O-T-D

Rainkeeper: H-O-T-D

Rainkeeper/Nightflyer: H-O-T-D HOTDHOTD-

Joy: H-T-T-Y-D, H-T-T-Y-D 

Nightflyer/Rainkeeper: HOTDHOTDHOTD HOTD HOTD- HAIKU OF THE DAY!!!!!

Kelp: What the heck?

Nightflyer: One day someone will understand that reference.

Rainkeeper: One day, eye candy will find us.

Nightflyer: ooooo, eye candy.

Rainkeeper/Nightflyer: *sighs*

Air:......Should I be concerned right now?

Joy: I don't know. I think this is their gay thing.

Umber: What about a gay thing?

Qibli: He was my gay thing.

Winter: Your what?

Qibli: Nevermind.

Joy: Everybody gets one. 

Kelp: I'm so confused.

Joy: Think about it this way. In every fandom, usually ones that are TV show or movie based, there is one character that no matter what your own personal preference is, you would not turn this character down if they wanted to kiss you.

Nightflyer: Yeaaaah, that's accurate.

Air: You all know who they are in your fandoms.

Nightflyer: You know.

Air:.......

Nightflyer:.......

Air: It's Emma Watson, isn't it?

Nightflyer: Yes it is. Misha?

Air: Oh yeah.

Nightflyer: Okay, moving on.

Seashell: I.... I don't even know how we got here.

Rainkeeper: We need you all to share your deepest darkest secrets.

Players:.........

Deathbringer: Well SHIT.

Umber: Uh oh.

Winter: And if we refuse?

Joy: You have to brush your teeth.

Moon: Oh. That's not so bad.

Carnelian: What kind of a punishment is th-

Joy: And then drink orange juice.

Players: *screams*

Glory: WHAT KIND OF HORRIBLE MONSTER DOES THAT!?!?!?!

Sunny: YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL US!

Joy: *slowly raises up orange juice container*

Players: *scramble away in fear*

Kelp: Okay, Clay, you're first! What's a deep dark secret you have?

Clay: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............................................

Air: You gotta answer.

Clay:............ DAMMIT WHAT SECRETS DO I EVEN HAVE!?!?

Peril: Clay doesn't really keep secrets.

Clay: I like Peril?

Sunny: Honey, that's not a secret.

Glory: We all know that.

Clay: Uh..... Oh! I know!

Clay: Oh dammit, I meant to take this to my deathbed.

Tsunami: SPILL!

Clay:..... Do you guys remember a scroll called The Little Dragonets?

Sunny: Oh my moons, YES.

Tsunami: We LOVED THAT SCROLL!!!

Starflight: It was the BEST!!!

Glory: We read it nonstop until Kestrel took it away!

Clay: Yeah, uh..... She didn't take it, actually....

DOD:.......

Sunny: What do you mean?

Clay: I secretly hated the scroll, so one night, when you guys were sleeping, I took it and threw it out the little sky hole....

DOD:.......

Glory: You bitch.

Starflight: IT WAS AN INNOCENT LITTLE SCROLL, YOU BASTARD, I OUTA- *lunges at Clay*

Tsunami: You know, I like cocaine Starflight.

Fatespeaker: It's definitely interesting.

Seashell: Peril, your turn

Peril: Oof, um......

Peril: There was this dragonet when I was little....

Glory: Okaaaaay.

Clay: Oh no. 

Peril: And she was REALLY MEAN, OKAY? A big bully, nothing more! She used to throw things at me and laugh at me and call me names.

Clay: Aww, Peril....

Peril: So I burnt down her family's house and killed her.

Clay:.........Oh.

Deathbringer: See this is why we're besties, Peril.

Sunny: *horrified*

Peril: No regrets.

Air:.........Tsunami?

Tsunami: I really hate the Kingdom of the Sea.

Riptide: Wait WHAT?

Tsunami: I do. I HATE it. The stupid currents and the salt water and the darkness- ugh. IT's miserable. I like fresh water and light, and well, land, really. Islands are nice. But the ocean is just so complicated and it HATES me.

Seashell: Wow.

Kelp: I can understand that. Riptide?

Riptide:.........I hate my father?

Tsunami: We know.

Glory: We hate him too.

Fatespeaker: Next?

Riptide: I like leading the Talons of Peace.

Tsunami: but they're PURE EVIL AND THEY-

Riptide: Yeah, yeah, I know, but I LIKE IT.

Tsunami: WHY.

Riptide: BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY PLACE I GET ANY DIGNITY AND RESPECT, SO THERE.

Joy: Glory?

Glory:..............

Glory: I may have threatened Icicle....

Winter: Wait WHAT?

Deathbringer: Threatened is a light word.

Glory: Yeah, yeah....

Winter: WHY?!?!?

Glory: HEY! She tried to hurt Kinkajou! And Starflight! Bitch had it coming!

Starflight: I remember that.

Kinkajou: Awww, you threatened her because of me.

Starflight: Icy talons on my neck...

Deathbringer: More like she held her over a river of lava and said that if she dared to harm anyone Glory cared about or set foot in the Rainforest again, she'd peel off her scales one by one and ditch her in the lava.

Starflight: ICY TALONS OF DEATH.

Kinkajou:....wow.

Tsunami: Glory, I think Deathbringer's been a bad influence on you.

Peril: I concur.

Clay: I don't even know what that means.

Glory: I agree with Tsunami, he is a bad influence.

Deathbringer: *smirks* I'm a terrible influence.

Glory: Deathy, the goal of bowling is to stay OUT of the gutter, remember?

Deathbringer: Right, right.

Joy: Speaking of the bringer of Death, what's your darkest secret?

Deathbringer:....... Greatness is my half sister.

Glory: Wait WHAT?

Fatespeaker: WHAT!?!?

Starflight: WHAT. THE. ACTUAL FUCK.

Deathbringer: *shrugs*

Glory:....HOW-

Deathbringer: She just is.

Glory: Well you can't just drop a bombshell like that and then not explain!!!!

Deathbringer: Yes I can.

Kelp: Fatespeaker? Deepest Darkest secret?

Fatespeaker:......There was a split second where I considered enlisting Viper to help me kill Starflight because I wanted in the Prophecy.

Starflight: WHAT?

DOD: *gasps*

Sunny: TRAITOR!!!

Nightflyer: Traitor! Spin spin spin spin spin spinspinspinspin

Fatespeaker: It was JUST FOR A SECOND!

Clay: WOW. Just WOW.

Starflight: So betrayed....

Glory: Eh, I've thought about throwing her in lava before too.

Deathbringer: Same.

Tsunami: We all have.

Fatespeaker: HEY!

Nightflyer: Back off, she's the parent I like!

Starflight: What am I, chopped liver?

Nightflyer: No, you're high on cocaine. Your turn.

Starflight:.......Whenever I couldn't sleep at night in the caves, I'd watch you guys sleep.

Sunny:.......AAAAAaaaand, I'm thoroughly creeped out now.

Glory:...........Can't I just have ONE night where there's NOT a Nightwing watching me sleep?

Deathbringer: No.

Glory: But-

Deathbirnger: Nope.

Clay: Creepy.

Air: Indeed. Sunny?

Sunny:........

Sunny: Not my finest moment, but Six-Claws and I thought Smolder was unworthy of Thorn, so we poisoned his food.

Qibli: Wait WHAT? That was YOU?!!

Sunny: He survived, just got really sick. 

Sunny: Oh dear moons, nobody tell me my mother.

Nightflyer: WOW.

Joy: Okay, we're breaking this into two parts. This is just too damn long of a part.

Moon: Is it, or are you just lazy?

Hosts:...........

Air: Both.

Rainkeeper: Starflight, give us a send off!

Starflight: *starts blasting Bubblegum Bitch on a kazoo*