Air: I cant breathe, I Can't Breathe, I cANt brEATHe, I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!!!!

Rainkeeper: Scientifically speaking, if you can say the words "I can't breathe" you must be able to breathe. You can't speak if you can't breathe.

Air: I CANNOT BREATHE!!!!!!

Seashell: Nightflyer, explain

Nightflyer: Oh, she met Misha Collins

Joy: WHAT!

Air: *screaming*

Air: HE SIGNED MY BOOK WITH A HEART AND WINKED AT ME!!!!

Air: YES HE IS THAT BEAUTIFUL, EVEN MORE IN PERSON, HIS EYES ARE SO FUCKING BLUE AND THE. SEX. HAIR. IS. REAL.

Air: MY LIFE IS COMPLETE, OF MY FUCKING GOD, LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL SPECIMEN.

Air: I- I- *hyperventilating*

Nightflyer: Maybe you should lie down

Air: I NEED TO LIE DOWN. *Faceplants on the floor*

Joy:.....So, if we destroy that autograph while she sleeps, do you think she'll be-

Air: *fuckin TELEPORTS to Joy, grabs her by the throat and slams her against the wall hard enough to break stone*

Joy: *squeaks* mad?

Kelp: *squeak of fear*

Air: You fuck with my Misha autograph of love, I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING SPINE OUT THROUGH YOUR THROAT.

Rainkeeper: Is that even possible-

Air: I WILL MAKE IT POSSIBLE.

Nightflyer: Air look! *holds up Misha picture*

Air: *fangirl screams, drops Joy, and starts skipping around happily*

Joy: I didn't need your help with that

Nightflyer: Yes you did.

*players appear*

Air: *screams*

Players: *screams louder*

Qibli: I'M INNOCENT, I SWEAR!

Moon: AAAHHHHH, IT WAS ALL WINTER'S IDEA!

Winter: How DARE you.

Moon:.....I don't dare to o anything, I'm always forced to y this dumb game!!!

Rainkeeper: Rude.

Seashell: We don't call you dumb.

Joy: To your face.

Carnelian: What are we doing?

Air: Slowly dying. 

Turtle: Well-

Nightflyer: Everybody take a deep breath.

Players: *inhales*

Nightflyer: Yesssss, fill your lungs with the stuff that will slowly oxidize your blood and kill you...

Joy:....WHY ARE YOU NOT IN MY SQUAD?

Nightflyer: Because you have Kelp, and my loyalty is to the Air Force.

Air: Even though....It's kinda dead....

Rainkeeper: Like all our books....

Kelp: EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE!

Seashell: So anyway, we need you guys to be a family.

Players:.....

Kinkajou: Aren't we already a kind of family.... *reaches for group hug*

Winter: *jumps back* Oh hell no.

Carnelian: Fat chance!

Umber: *slowly lowers Kinkajou's arms* No, honey, no...

Qibli:.....

Turtle:.......

Moon:.....

Moon: OF COURSE WE ARE!!!!

Qibli: FAMILY GROUP HUG! *tackles Winter*

Turtle: I always wanted a family....

Kinkajou: *hugs Turtle*

Kinkajou: Well good, because you're mine now, and you can never leave.

Moon: *dragging Carnelian back*

Moon: So how exactly does this family work?

Air: Moon is the mom.

Umber: DUH.

Air: Winter is the dad.

Umber: *gasps* HOT DAD BOD!

Qibli: *grins smugly*

Winter: Don't you dare-

Qibli: Hi Daddy.

Carnelian: *smashes Qibli over the head with a guitar*

Carnelian: nO.

Joy: Qibli is the eldest son.

Winter: Then he's the child we use as sacrifice, wonderful!

Moon: Why can't you be more of a Patton dad instead of a 'I hate my children and my life' dad?

Winter: BECAUSE I DON'T CARE. AND ALSO I HATE MY LIFE.

Kinkajou: *tying a cardigan around Winter's shoulders* 

Kinkajou: Too late, Mr. Patton.

Joy: And Umber is the youngest baby.

Carnelian: HA!

Umber: Qibli! I'm your hot younger sister, how do you feel?

Qibli:......Awkward.

Umber: Good!

Kinkajou: What about the rest of us!?!?

Rainkeeper: You weren't given roles, soooooo

Kelp: Carnelian and Kinkajou are twins, Turtle is the homeless man that lives with you.

Kinkajou: YAY!

Carnelian: NO.

Turtle: I thought this was supposed to be a game, not my life.

Moon: So how do we be a family?

Hosts:......

Joy: I have no idea.

Air: Just do normal family.....stuff?

Winter: Sooooo fight?

Air: NO!

Nightflyer: Play board games, go for a drive-

Players: NO MORE ROAD TRIPS.

Moon: The first one was a disaster enough, seeing as SOMEONE can't ask for directions.

Winter: WE DIDN'T NEED DIRECTIONS! I knew exactly where we were going!

Moon: THEN HOW COME WE PASSED THE SAME GAS STATION NINETEEN TIMES?

Winter: BECAUSE IT WAS A POPULAR GAS STATION CHAIN, IT WASN'T THE SAME ONE EVERY TIME, THREE MOONS! 

Moon/Winter: *keep arguing*

Umber: Well, if I have to be the baby, then I have to be the baby.

Umber: *sits down, tilts head back, and wails*

Umber: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Moon: Great, now you woke the baby!

Winter: I didn't do that! You woke him up!

Moon: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME?

Qibli: stop fighting!!

Winter/Moon: GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Turtle: Hey Kinkajou, if I'm the homeless man living with you, can I still date you?

Kinkajou: Yes. Yes you can.

Carnelian: Oh, that is SO like you, to date every homeless guy that comes along.

Kinkajou: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS CAUSE YOU CAN'T GET A GIRLFRIEND.

Carnelian: That- That THAT IS NOT TRUE!

Kinkajou: Yes it is.

Turtle: Yes it is.

Qibli: Yes it is!

Carnelian: STAY OUT OF THIS, QIBLI!

Turtle/Kinkajou: *go to kiss each other*

Winter: Oh, HELL NO. *grabs Kinkajou and pulls her away*

Kinkajou: But DAAAADDDD!!!

Winter: No daughter of mine is going to date a homeless person! Just look at him! He's filthy!

Kinkajou: That's only because you won't let him use the shower! 

Winter: NO HOMELESS PERSON IS GOING TO USE OUR BATHROOM!

Kinkajou: But he's not homeless, HE'S LIVING HERE!

Winter: THAT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Turtle: That's LITERALLY THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOMELESS AND HAVING A HOME.

Winter: And YOU! Stop trying to kiss my daughter!

Turtle: I can't help it if she's beautiful!

Winter: Alright, that's it, your time is up- GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!

Kinkajou: Dad no!

Winter: DAD YES.

Moon: Winter, you can't! We love Homeless Joe!

Hosts: *eating popcorn and watching like this is their favorite soap opera*

Winter: NO. HOMELESS JOE NEEDS TO GO.

Umber: I'm hungrrryyyyy

Winter: HI HUNGRY, I'M DAD!

All: *gasps*

Carnelian: Awwww, his first dad joke!!

Players: *hugs Winter*

Winter: Wait, no. GET OFF.

Moon: Never.

Umber: We wuv you, Daddy.

Winter: OKAY, NO, GO AWAY. *shoves them off*

Turtle: So.... Can I stay?

Kinkajou: YES!

Winter: NO.

Moon: Don't listen to him, Joe. You can stay in the basement. Winter will never know.

Winter: I'm literally RIGHT HERE-

Moon: AND WHOSE OPINION MATTERS MORE IN THIS HOUSE, YOU OR ME?

Winter:......You.....

Moon: Exactly. KINKAJOU'S HOMELESS BOYFRIEND STAYS!

Players: YAY!!!!

Rainkeeper: We....we need to do this more often.

Nightflyer: And next time, we bring more popcorn.