Hey guys! This Is your guys' reward, a story/ experience I need to get off my chest, and yes this may be quite sad but I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for understanding. But I appreciate your guys' support nonetheless! Here we go...

It started back In 2014 I was eleven at the time, a kid? Yes, but happy and joyful without a second look upon my happiness. But things happen and happiness Is easily shattered when events suddenly happen. I don't remember the date but I had woken up In the morning, I believe It was a weekend, my pregnant cat was giving birth! This seemed to just boost my happiness to the roof, but we soon go a call from a family member saying my great uncle Aubrey had passed, he was on life support but they took him off, there had been false alerts of him dead but that one false alert hurt me the most even though I hadn't really known my uncle. At his funeral I wasn't really phased, what was I supposed to do? I didn't know so I stayed silent the whole time. As time passed and summer ended It soon became September, I was now In 6th grade, with my two best friends Jadyn and Gwyn but little did I know that was about to change, on September 18th 6 o'clock In the morning we got a terribly, upsetting call from my Aunt who notified my grandfather had passed at the hospital, my father was crying but trying not to show It which he failed miserably I must say. I was shocked because this was the day we got my guinea pig, Marble. He was a friend for our little pal Mr. Pig our other guinea. But after I made sure he settled at home we went to my grandmothers, but at his viewing I was there with my parents and brothers. I still was not very phased I did poke my grandfather hoping he'd awaken, but to no avail he didn't. But this was the most upsetting part, his funeral.. I had poked him again but his cold limp face still haunts me to this day. I sat curled up In a chair trying hard not to cry before his funeral started, my brother Zack, Mother and relatives tried talking to me but I never responded. The time the actual funeral started I couldn't take It, In my mind I was begging him to get up and jump out of that casket was sadly It was true, he's gone. That night I must've cried because who wouldn't? I'm not one who shows my emotions around others, I keep my sadness, grief and other emotions hidden. It was now a Tuesday the day after my grandfathers funeral. I went back to school, I was greeted by another friend of mine, Alexis. She told me Gwyn and Jadyn had been saying mean things behind my back. Which made me sad but I forgot what I said to them but they soon became well, not my friends and worst of all my friends birthday party was that weekend and since that 'fight' happening well she told me I couldn't go.. I have a feeling they might of been laughing at me but at the time I had a very good friend, Bryant and I am still friends with him. I stayed distant from everyone, This was In November or- October now and I was walking around the snow covered field upset of this. They became my friends but soon not multiple times but I now stay away from them. Come around the time of early 2015 Around spring March I believe my cousin passed In the hospital, my cousin Irene. (Ikr what a coincidence right?) again I didn't know her but she was the child of my great uncle Aubrey. And soon on later but not real later my dear best friend, and beloved pet Mr. Pig died. I had wandered down the stairs In the morning to go feed them, he was In the corner laying there not dead but he looked sick I thought something was wrong with his leg so I brought him upstairs crying, scared was an understatement I was frightened for my little furry pal. He was a white one brown ear, one orange patch on his face and a brown orange bottom. He had bit me while my brother tried feeding him a carrot which hurt and scared me but I think It was his way of saying goodbye. He later died In his old cage but In my hands as I held him. I of course broke down, ran to my room. He's now hurried In our backyard. I told myself multiple times over the months. "One more death and I'm done!" but and that's exactly what happened. This year, 2016 In February my dear beloved pet budgie Flexi had passed In the morning before school but I only found out about this after school, I had walked In after being dropped off by my bus driver Harvey, a nice man who brightens my day. My mother had said she had bad news I started to get scared the second she said Flexi died I stayed silent forcing my emotions down but I'm sure she could tell the pained expression on my face. But today I now share a love bird Voltor with my brother Andrew who's 21. That night I had literally broke down, crying to myself. Like I said "One more death and I'm done!" Is true, but I'm still living I just keep having emotional break downs at night when alone, I had one last night.. And to say I almost broke down at school well because my grandfathers limp, dead body In that casket had come back again. And that day a classmate had swallowed a nail for attention, stupid right? My friends, Bryant, Destiny, and Jordan and I all sit together In a group In class. Jordan asked If I was okay I told him I was now I've known Jordan since daycamp when we were really young to say I never thought I'd see him again was a surprise. But anyways yea.. I still am slowly falling deeper Into a slight depression.

A/N So yea, there you guys go sorry If I made you cry! But yes, I sure did and this Is all TRUE! I still do have my breakdowns and I have snapped at people (Possibly because of hormones) but anyways, just remember keep pushing, that's what I'm doing I keep saying I can't do this anymore but I'm still here and alive, so I thank you all for 1.1K Reads! I love you all! <3