I haven't officially updated this book since October 2016. It's been such a long time since I've started this book and I've changed so much, even a lot more after the last support update that I posted back in November. But don't worry, guys! I'm still emo!

So buckle up, guys. You don't have to read this entire message, but if you'd like to know more about my life and what inspired this book then I suggest you should read on!

I think one of the honest reasons why I want to delete this book is because it's the only notifications I ever get. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love all the votes and comments, because they make me laugh so hard. But my entire feed is just flooded with notifications from this book and nothing else. As a writer, this seriously puts me down because all of my books like this one tend to get much more recognition than my actual stories that I've put much more effort into.

It was around 2015 when I started this book. I was super emo, super cringey, and mentally unhealthy. 2015 was, by far, the worst year of my life and I never want to look back at it. I think that it is best for me to let this book slip into history and be unpublished.

But I don't want to tell you all my sob story, because things got so much better for me! It took over six months for things to be back to normal, but I finally figured out who I was and it was one of the best feelings that I've ever had. I started to change my looks in May 2017, three months ago. I brushed back my scene bangs to the other side of my head and wore my hair up until I made the brave decision to get it cut super short.

I went from this:

June 2016

to this:

June & July 2017

I'm so happy now, I've found God, I've found my calling (in biology!!) and I've found passion in science, music, writing, and reading. The best advice that I can give to anyone who reads this and is suffering in silence is to find things that make you the most happy and focus on those. For me, that was getting better in school, getting better at guitar, writing, and musical education.

Marching band is my life now. I've played the flute for about four years now, and I was about to quit band back in 2015, right before my freshman year of high school started. I guess all I can say is: thank God that I didn't. I joined the marching band at my high school that year and I was so quiet and depressed. Marching band didn't save my life, because I did that on my own, but marching band was one of the things that helped me find myself. I didn't put much effort in until about a year ago, but once I did, my confidence level boosted majorly and I became louder, sociable, and even smarter. Every time I step on that field I feel at home. And I'm only a sophomore! That says a lot!

I'm still in all of the same fandoms that I was in before. I still love all the metal bands, the emo music, and Eminem, of course. My recent loves in music are David Bowie and Depeche Mode, but my all-time favorite band will always be Of Mice & Men.

I also started watching BBC's Sherlock about six months ago, and wow, that show changed my life. If you haven't read Arthur Conan Doyle's classic Sherlock Holmes novels, you're missing out. The books are set in the late 1800's, but BBC did their own version of Sherlock in a show, set in modern day. Sherlock Holmes is portrayed by my favorite person in the entire world, Benedict Cumberbatch. 😍 But in all honesty, that show has made me so much smarter in ways that I cannot explain unless you watch the show.

Okay, okay, I'm rambling about the things I love. How typical! But as I said, don't worry, I still do my eyeliner just as dark (but with better quality now!) and I still wear a ton of black and listen to the same emo bands. My major improvements have been in my mental health, appearance, talent, focus level, and intelligence. I believe that all of these things go hand-in-hand and because I found myself, things got better. So, again, if you are in need of some mental help, please seek it! There are plenty of counselors and therapists out there that are willing to help you and get you back in touch with yourself.

So it's goodbye for this book. I'll wait a few weeks before I take it down, but after that I can refresh my feed in peace. It's been a journey with this book, but there's so much more in store for my wattpad account!

I still write the same trilogy with DarcyDarcyDarcy (my best friend in the world) that we started in 2015 and we're almost done writing the third book. I've mentioned the stories before, but it's in alternate world where all the members of Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots, Gerard Way, and Brendon Urie are all vampires. The Youngblood Clique (pretty self explanatory) have devoted their lives too goodness, whereas some others, The Sinner Killjoys, have not. Read to figure out how to best friends get mixed up and separated in the midst of moral issues, injuries, drama, and the bloody feud between The Youngblood Clique and The Sinner Killjoys. The three books in the trilogy are titled:

-Enemies (book 1)
-Alliance (book 2)
-Strangers (book 3)

Okay I'M SORRY I'LL BE DONE NOW. Thank you so much for all your time, your votes, your comments, and your support on this book that nearly reached 85,000 reads!

-Alina