"Leigh?" I wake up, my mind hazy. Where am I? Looking down, I see the white material scrunched in my hand. I remember.

The door opens- a gasp echoes around the room as Ella tiptoes in. She slowly peels me away from the dress and leads me into the bathroom.

"We have a guest. They're here to make you feel better - now I want you to clean yourself up, put on these," A t-shirt and jeans are pushed into my arms. "And come out as soon as you are ready."

Ella smiles warmly but I stare back, blank-faced. She hurries out the room in the direction of the lounge.

I glare at my reflection in the mirror, boring my eyes into my own. Ella doesn't deserve to be caring after a mess like me. I need to be happy, for her. Or at least pretend to be.

Maybe if I make out that I'm over it, she'll stop feeling like she needs to baby over me. All I want is for her to stop worrying because I'm not worth it.

I splash my face with water and tug on my clothes. Tying my hair up to try and hide the grease, I practice smiling. I need to build a worthy act to be able to pull this off.

Resisting against my usual trudging, I lightly step down the hall carpet and into the lounge. I hear Ella talking to someone in the kitchen but I don't want to face them quite yet.

Curling up into a small ball, I collapse onto the sofa. It seems like the last few weeks have been a constant flow of crying and sleeping. When I'm not doing one, I'm busy with the other. This feels alien to me.

The hinges on the door squeak open, Ella sliding through first followed by someone who is hiding their face with three steaming mugs. I try not to stare at them as they gently place them on the coffee table. They won't look up at me.

"It's nice to see you out of bed for once, Leigh." My roommate chuckles and I stop myself from hissing at her- got to be civil, got to be happy. As soon as this guest- who still won't look up- leaves, I'm heading straight back to my room.

"Yeah, Ella tells me you haven't been the best since Dan left." HOW DARE THIS RANDOM PERSON BE SO UPFRONT- wait a second. I know that voice.

The guest peers over his cup with bright blue eyes.

Phil.

<IV><IV><IV><IV><IV><IV><IV><IV><IV><IV>

"Hey baby, Dan said that he had news to tell us... Ella?" Phil shouts through the silence. I hear him come closer, making his way through the hotel room.

"I have a present for you and our little baby boy!"

"Please don't tell him yet." Ella's words are but whispers as her eyes beg for me to keep the truth quiet. Phil is just on the other side of the door. The handle slowly creaks sideway. It's now or never.

"BLEURGH!" I pretend to throw up in the toilet as he opens the door. His face is red from embarrassment as Ella herds him away, the sound of my fake retching echoing around the room. He tosses something on the bed as he is ushered out. I hear the lock click shut and my roommate runs over, gathering me up into a hug.

Her voice is coarse and dry as she thanks me for covering her. The warm thickness of her breath tickles the skin of my neck.

But I keep forgetting- she lost the baby.

I don't know how much longer I can pretend everything is alright. I simply do not know.