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Epiphany
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"So, are you leaving us?" Weir's voice cut through the silence of the jumper bay and interrupted Kai's tumbling thoughts. Kai slid out from underneath the Mortii fighter where she had been working to disable the tracking transponder. She was miffed with herself for not hearing the leader of Atlantis's approach, but she recognized she was off her game and entirely distracted.

John had left her alone in the jumper bay nearly an hour ago. No, John had kissed her asked her to trust him and stay, nearly an hour ago. And Kai still didn't know how she felt about it, or what to do. Her plan to fly the fighter with the active transponder away from Atlantis was all well and good on paper, but now it needed to be deactivated while she figured out her next step. The Mortii had found her, she had been so sure leaving was the right answer, but John had messed all of that up.

She should have known before he even set foot in the jumper bay that he wouldn't just let her go. It wasn't in his nature. Honestly, there had been part of her waiting for him, but she never expected him to kiss her. Now that it happened she didn't know how to react.

Even if she stayed there could never be anything between them. She knew that. They were just too different. She was a Mortii from the Pegasus Galaxy. She wasn't even human. Not really. Her past, all she had done...John was military commander of Atlantis. A Lieutenant Colonel of his planet's military. They were just too different. Perhaps in another life they would have been together, but wishing and hoping weren't realities in her life. She let out an exhausted sigh. She was so tired of running, so tired of fighting.

"Kai?" Weir's voice actually surprised her for a second time. She had been so lost in her own thoughts she forgot the other woman was there.

"I-" Kai started to say, but she didn't really have an answer, she looked down at her grease covered hands with a frown. Was she leaving them? "I can," she offered hollowly.

Weir's face was locked into the emotionless mask she often used during tough negotiations. That more than anything told Kai that Weir didn't share John's belief that Atlantis was better with her there. While John could be impulsive, especially when it came to his people, Weir was pragmatic. Kai wasn't human, wasn't actually part of the expedition. Weir would recognize that and want Kai to leave before endangering their mission.

Kai climbed to her feet rubbing the grease onto the legs of the jumpsuit. "The transponder is deactivated," she said. "Atlantis is safe."

"For how long?" Weir asked crossing her arms over her chest. Weir pressed her lips together in a grim line. She had read The Colonel's report. She knew how dangerous the Mortii assassin had been, and what it took for Kai to defeat her. If just one was that dangerous, they couldn't risk a fleet of them.

Kai straightened and locked her hands together behind her back as she had been taught when facing The Tribunal. This danger was on her, and she would accept full responsibility. "Mortii jealously guard their successes and are brutally critical of failures. She would not have reported a hunch until she could present a victory."

"Victory?" Weir asked arching a brow.

Kai's hand moved too fast to track and came up holding her Blade cross ways so Weir could look at the elegant black blade. "She would have sought to return with the Blade Kai."

"Not you?" Weir asked in surprise.

Kai looked down at the glistening black metal. "This Blade is over a thousand years old. I'm merely the Instrument who currently wields it."

Weir blanched at Kai's cold words. She didn't seem bothered at all that her life meant so little to her people. Weir couldn't imagine thinking so little of someone as loyal and skilled as Kai.

Kai pressed on before she lost her nerve. It was important to her that Elizabeth understood. "They already agreed to my death when they left me for the Wraith. As far as they are concerned I am already dead. That matters little to them. What does matter is that it is seen as treason both to have survived and to have settled and revealed our secrets to another race. For that, they will send another Mortii to retrieve my Blade and return it home."

"But not for a while?" Weir clarified.

Kai tightened her jaw for only a second when she realized she had misjudged Elizabeth's interest. Weir cared only for her people's safety. As she should.

"This Mortii would not have risked another getting to me before she did. It will take time for them to figure out she is missing and even longer to find out where she went."

Weir chewed on her lip thoughtfully. "Seems like a big risk..." she dragged off. There were times when she considered Kai a friend and found her easy to talk to, but other times it was crystal clear she was alien. As Kai stared at her through storm grey eyes completely unconcerned that her people viewed her as nothing but a commodity Weir found herself at a loss for words.

"I will leave," Kai said quickly. "Now if you wish," she said gesturing to her full backpack leaning against the wall.

Weir turned and when she saw the pack her eyes widened slightly. "I-" she started to say, shocked to realize Kai had not only planned on leaving but was already packed. She would have thought it would be more difficult for her to leave than that. It seemed as though she had ties here, friendships, but perhaps someone like Kai wasn't capable of those things in the traditional sense.

"I will take the Mortii fighter," Kai continued emotionlessly. "I will reactivate transponder once I am clear of the solar system, and lead the Mortii away." Kai fought to keep her emotions contained. She respected Elizabeth and knew it must have been difficult for the kind hearted leader to throw her out. She was resolute to make this as easy as possible on her.

"I meant," Elizabeth said stepping towards Kai. "It seems risky for our one and only Mortii to leave if there is a chance another may come."

Kai pulled up, surprised by Weir's words. Her look must have given it away because Weir snorted. "We don't leave our own behind," Weir said in a low, fierce voice. She looked around the jumper bay, somewhat surprised to find Kai was alone. "I take it The Colonel has already been up to try and convince you to stay?" She asked.

Kai nodded fighting the blush she could feel climbing towards her cheeks.

Weir seemed completely oblivious. "Well, I don't know how he tried to convince you, but I have to say that I will respect your decision either way. But please know that you are a valued member of the Atlantis family. I only ask that if you decide to leave, you wait twenty four hours before going."

Kai frowned not understanding the time constraint.

"Just to think it over," Weir added. "I don't want you to make an impulsive decision..."

She dragged off when Kai arched a brow and Weir chuckled. "Even you make emotion based decisions from time to time," she teased gently. Then her face stilled. "If you decide to go, you may do so with my blessing and sincerest gratitude for all you've done for us. I do ask before you go that you take tomorrow to help Zelenka adapt our sensors so we will be able to detect the Mortii if they come again."

Kai pressed her lips together and shifted her weight. She was endangering everyone here, every instinct she had told her she should run. That staying was the most selfish thing she could do. She had learned so much from her friends here and the first and foremost was to never act selfishly and to never endanger one another. She couldn't in good conscience stay.

"Please," Elizabeth added after a moment.

Kai nodded, unable to deny Elizabeth this last request because she knew it would be the last. The other woman had done so much for her over the last year. Everyone on Atlantis had welcomed her, befriended her, and given her a place to belong. Peace. It was a debt she could never repay.

"Of course," Kai agreed immediately.

Elizabeth smiled warmly. "Thank you, I'll send Zelenka an email. Let him know you want to start in the morning. Don't stay up too late," Weir called over her shoulder.

"Of course not," Kai called after her. They both knew it was a lie.

Kai stayed up all night working on the sensors. She was resolute now that leaving was the right course of action but she would make sure her friends were safe before she went. Zelenka showed up a little after five a.m. and the two of them began working side by side. She was going to miss the effortless, quiet way they worked together.

A couple of hours later AR-1 came into the bay and headed for jumper 1. Ronon nodded hello as they made their way to the jumper. She looked up from her tablet and caught John's eye from across the bay.

Her heart started pounding in her chest as her mind flashed to the kiss the night before. He was watching her closely as his team loaded up into the shuttle. He nodded to her once but that was the only indication of what had happened the night before. She licked her lips and from across the bay she swore she saw his eyes darken which was quickly followed up by a gentle nudge in her mind. She closed her eyes for a second, savoring what she knew would be the last time she felt the connection between them.

Legend claimed Mortii only Bonded once in their life and Kai knew, knew there would never be another. As much as she fought to deny it, there was a part of her that recognized this thing between them for what it was. She sucked in a grounding breath and when she opened her eyes John had turned to follow his team into the jumper.

Kai looked back down at her tablet. She and Zelenka still had hours of work ahead of them, but she hoped they would finish before AR-1 returned. If she had to face her friends again she wasn't sure how she would be able to leave them.

Inside the jumper, John's jaw was like granite as he turned away from Kai knowing this might be the last time he saw her. According to Weir, Kai had agreed to update their sensors before leaving Atlantis for good. There was nothing more for him to say. He had laid all his cards on the table for her, now he couldn't help doubting whether or not he made a mistake kissing her. If that had put some kind of pressure on her that she was running from. He dropped gruffly into his seat, firing up the jumper with jerky movements as he punched the buttons harder than he needed to. He was such an idiot.

"Gate room, this is Jumper 1 we are ready to roll," his voice was more harsh than he'd intended. It was a routine scouting mission and he couldn't come up with an excuse to delay it, other than his fear that Kai would be gone when he got back. Behind him he heard Ronon and McKay shifting in their seats. He needed to get it together. He glanced at Teyla who was watching him in that eerie way of hers.

"What?" He snapped.

Teyla held up her hands in surrender.

"Copy that Jumper 1 this is Atlantis. Good luck out there."

John flipped the controls off autopilot and flew across the event horizon, leaving Atlantis and Kai behind.

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Kai and Zelenka were still working in the jumper bay when a notification of a returning jumper came through her tablet. The tablet beeped in her hands and Kai frowned down at it. The program reported that Jumper One was returning to Atlantis. It didn't make sense. It had only been a couple hours since they left. The jumper lifted up from the gate room on autopilot and parked, but when the back hatch opened only McKay stepped out.

"Kai," he said, his eyes were wide with panic. "I need your help." His gaze landed on Zelenka. "You too," he snapped, pointing at the other scientist. Before either one of them could ask any questions McKay continued. "Okay, every second counts so shut up and listen. Sheppard is trapped in a time dilation field. We need to figure out a way to breach the field which extends over a good portion of the planet."

Zelenka sat up. "Why not use the descent probe. It can be outfitted to one of the jumpers."

McKay snapped in satisfaction. "Get on it. Zian, you're with me." He called and fast walked out the door. He reached up and touched his comm. "Weir, Beckett I need you in my lab in the next five minutes. This is an emergency people."

When they hit the lab McKay's instructions were rapid fire and he made it perfectly clear not a single second could be wasted. Beckett and Weir were only steps behind them, but McKay glared at them like they were purposefully slowing him down.

Kai followed behind Rodney, collecting the additional sensors and conduits they would need to make the internal adaptations to the jumpers sensors for the descent probe.

"So you have no idea if he's injured?" Doctor Beckett clarified. He was still confused about his purpose on the mission and McKay hadn't offered much of an explanation. As usual the arrogant scientist was trapped in his own head five steps ahead of everyone else as he worked to solve the problem. Only Kai seemed calm as she followed behind McKay, collecting bits and pieces as needed.

"The excrutiating pain he was experiencing was a result of the temporal differential," McKay explained as he snatched up coils of wire, shoving them into the hands of a waiting tech. "Get that to Zelenka," he ordered. "Run!" He called when the tech didn't move fast enough.

"And what is that exactly?" Beckett asked, scowling after the poor tech McKay seemed to delight in tormenting.

McKay paused with a huff but when Weir also stepped up for clarification he took the precious seconds to explain. "The-the portal must somehow dampen the extreme tidal forces that would normally occur in the event horizon of a time-dilation field, and we were keeping him from passing through it."

Beckett's face was a mask of confusion as he trailed behind Rodney. "So part of his body was experiencing time at a different pace than the other? Who knows what that could do to him!" He exclaimed in horror.

"I have no idea," Rodney snapped impatiently. "But I suspect he could use a doctor."

"So you don't even know if he's alive?" Weir asked suddenly from the other side of the room.

Kai went cold at Weir's words. It hadn't occurred to her that John might already be dead. McKay seemed so focused on a rescue mission she hadn't considered the possibility.

McKay grunted in annoyance. "The most time efficient approach was to assume that he was alive, but stranded."

"And why not assume he could make his own way back through the portal?" Weir asked.

"Because Colonel Sheppard would have already had hours to try and make it back through the portal in the time I wasted explaining this situation to Conan and Xena," McKay snarled sarcastically. He didn't want to admit it, but he was entirely to blame for Sheppard's current situation. He wanted to fix it as quickly as possible.

"Rodney that's not fair," Beckett admonished.

"No, no I suppose it isn't," McKay agreed, but he didn't seem very sorry. He reached up and touched his comm. "This is McKay. Supplies been loaded aboard yet?"

"Almost there sir, just a few more cases."

"All right, when you're done with that I want you to assist Zelenka in securing the descent probe into the launch compartment," McKay turned off his comm and picked up the bag he had been packing. He tossed it towards Kai who caught it easily with one hand. "Let's move."

The four of them walked rapidly through the halls of Atlantis heading towards the jumper bay. Kai hung back a pace, letting the three make their plan.

"I've loaded everything I can think of..." McKay dragged off thoughtfully.

"Take a minute and be certain. If your theory is correct you won't be able to make many of these trips," Weir said as they moved through the halls at a brisk pace.

"I am painfully aware of that," McKay snapped.

Weir spun on Rodney, her eyes narrowing. "I am reminding you only because based on what you told me it was rushing that got Sheppard in trouble in the first place."

McKay blew out a sigh and looked away as guilt hit him. "This was not his fault, it was mine. I should have looked more closely at the video, the clues were there before he even stepped through. Look, all I can hope to do now is fix this within his lifetime."

"His lifetime?" Beckett asked, shocked. His eyes flickered to where Kai stood behind the group but as usual the mortii's face was a perfect expressionless mask.

McKay nodded. "If it takes a week to ten days to fix this then it won't matter, because he will probably of died of old age."

"Oh my god," Weir muttered as the true depth of what they were facing hit her. It was no wonder McKay had been hustling everyone around them.

"Yeah, hence the rushing," McKay snarled gesturing down the hall as he started fast walking back towards the jumper bay. "Now are you ready?" he asked Beckett. "You don't look ready."

"I'm ready." Beckett promised tightening his grip on his backpack strap. He couldn't think of what else to pack save the whole of the infirmary. They truly didn't know what they were facing.

"I may need to pick up a few more books to help with the translation," Weir said uncertainly. Translating Ancient was not a fast process and with little time to waste she didn't want to delay the group any more than necessary.

"That won't be necessary," McKay assured her quickly. "We're bringing Kai."

Weir turned to look at Kai in shock but McKay didn't miss a beat. "Her ancient is passable and we need a real jumper pilot. I don't trust him," he said gesturing to Beckett. "and I can't fly the damn thing in a straight line."

"Kai you're all right with this?" she asked. "I know you wanted-"

Kai nodded sharply and spoke before Weir could tell the others she was leaving. She didn't want it known. "The Colonel needs help. If I can be of assistance, I will," her tone was a little sharper than she intended but McKay was too distracted to notice and both Beckett and Weir chose to let it slide.

"Gear up," McKay told her.

Kai nodded and turned to head to the locker room.

"And hurry!" he shouted after her, but she had already broken into a run.

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Kai piloted them through the space gate and into orbit over the planet.

"There it is," Weir said leaning forward in her seat.

"According to these readings it's not there," McKay said with a frown as he stared down at his laptop.

"Rodney I can see it with my own eyes, it's right inside that crater," Weir said in disbelief.

"It's hard to say whether the ancients actually built it inside the crater or whether the rim formed as a result of the time-dilation field," McKay muttered as his fingers flew over the keyboard.

Weir turned to Kai. "The jumper sensors aren't picking up anything?"

Kai glanced back at the HUD. "Nothing," she reported.

"All right, position us directly above it and stand by," McKay ordered tapping away on his tablet. "Prepare to launch the probe on my mark."

"What is this probe of your's supposed to do?" Weir asked.

"Well, it's supposed to descend slowly into the atmosphere of a gas giant. A chute opens, the probe separates into two components joined by a tether, hundreds of meters long."

"So we should be able to receive telemetry from inside the time-dilation field, while the other half of the probe is still outside?" Weir clarified.

"Right and depending on the variance we might be able to fly right into the field and rescue Sheppard."

"Very clever Rodney," Beckett called from the back, impressed.

"Ah, yes, it is," McKay agreed then he hesitated. "It was actually Zelenka's idea," he added begrudgingly.

Kai snorted but didn't take her eyes off of the planet as they approached. Her flying would have to be precise to get the probe exactly where they wanted it. She would only get one shot at this.

"All right launch the probe on my mark, three two one mark," Kai released the probe exactly as McKay spoke. Rodney's eyes were locked on his tablet. "The probe is about to hit the field...damnit!" McKay exclaimed as an alarm sounded on his tablet.

"What happened?" Weir demanded. It bothered her to be relegated to sitting in the back with no control over the situation, but she recognized Kai and McKay were the most capable in this particular situation. It was surprising how well they worked together considering how abrasive McKay could be.

"Exactly what I was afraid would happen," McKay muttered. "The probe was ripped apart by the tidal forces of the event horizon almost instantly."

"So we can't just fly through it an rescue Colonel Sheppard?" Beckett asked.

"Not unless we want to be ripped apart too," McKay snarled as he tapped away on his tablet.

"Did you receive any telemetry before the probe failed?" Weir asked. If they couldn't fly the jumper in to get Sheppard they were fairly limited on rescue scenarios.

McKay's fingers flew over the tablet. "Actually quite a lot, looks like mostly giberish though...This is going to take me the better part of an hour to go through," he said apologetically.

Kai tightened her jaw in frustration. An hour could be days if not weeks for Sheppard.

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I hope you enjoyed the update!!