Hi everyone! Hope you enjoyed the last update. I'm super excited to continue the story! This update is over twice as long as most, but I'm too excited to break it up, hope you like it! Would love to hear feedback.

Happy Reading!

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Conversion Cont.
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The trip to the infirmary was foggy. John was fighting against the building pressure in his head as he staggered through the halls, he could feel the strength running through his body but it wasn't his own, and now he recognized it for the trap it was. He staggered sideways into a wall and nearly went down.

His senses were out of control. The lights were hurting his eyes and he pinched them shut. He could hear everything, smell everything it was all too overwhelming. He leaned against the cold steel of the wall for less than a minute before he was drowning in the smell of the ocean and lavender. Instinctually, he turned towards it even with his eyes closed he knew it was her. He could hear every puff of air that worked in and out of her lungs and the accelerating rhythm of her heart. 

Gentle but firm hands grabbed one of his arms and pulled it over her shoulders. Her hands were smooth and cool against his sweat damp skin and he leaned towards her. With on arm over her shoulder she held his wrist in one hand and his waist in the other. Her fingers gripped his hipbone as she tugged at him to get him to his feet.

"Come on John," she said through gritted teeth.

She was smaller than him and she wouldn't be able to get him to his feet unless he did it. He forced his body to move, to follow her. He trusted her to help him.

Kai was scared. She didn't know what was wrong with John, but he wasn't himself. He flinched from every sound and he leaned heavily against her. She grunted under his weight, but was determined to help get him to the infirmary. What had happened in the sparring room wasn't like him.

John leaned into Kai. It was taking all of his concentration not to give in to the thing that was growing inside of him. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold it back. It felt like a battering ram against the inside of his skull. The thing inside of him had used his competitive nature to take control and it had used Kai. He couldn't let it do that again. He could feel the intelligence of it. The cunning. Fighting it however took every piece of his concentration and strength. It felt like he had just run a marathon. Every muscle was shaking.

"Kai-" he started to say her name to warn her, but then collapsed to his knees, half dragging her down with him.

Kai didn't let go and went down to a knee beside him. John's hands came up to squeeze his temples as though he could force The Beast out of his head.

Kai didn't have her radio, she cursed herself up and down for leaving it in the gym. She reached down and activated his. She leaned close to him so she could be heard. "Doctor Beckett, there's a medical emergency in hallway 34-g." She reported, fighting to keep her voice steady.

"Kai?" Beckett asked in confusion.

"It's the Colonel, please hurry," and the comm clicked off.

John collapsed towards her and she caught him by his shoulders. His head leaned towards her and she rested her forehead against his. He was trembling beneath her touch and his teeth had started chattering despite the fact that his skin felt feverish.

"I-I'm sorry," he panted. "I can't-" he struggled to explain to her that he hadn't been able to stop it.

"It's okay," she whispered, her breath fanning his face.

He opened his eyes and met her gaze from only inches away. "D-does this mean y-you f-forgive me?" He managed to choke out beyond his chattering teeth.

Kai scowled, not following his train of thought. His expression was tormented as he fought against the pain that seemed to be wracking his body. His heartbeat continued to accelerate. She couldn't imagine what he thought he needed forgiveness for.

"Colonel," She started to say but stopped. She knew him. What had happened in the sparring room had been entirely out of character. As much as she had enjoyed the kiss, part of her knew he would never had initiated it in that way. Despite what was happening to him he was trying to make sure she was all right. Still protecting her.

She let herself lean her forehead more firmly against his. "Always," she whispered their lips only inches apart.

He let out a sigh of relief and leaned into her. There was a moment where it was like a veil was lifted between them. She felt the hard nudge that she knew, knew was him. She had been the one to close herself off before, and she hadn't anticipated how much she missed the feel of him. It was like missing a limb. Uncertain if she was using the connection correctly, she pushed back telepathically, wanting him to know that she was there.

Instead of the answering warmth she expected, she found something else.

John's entire body went ramrod stiff. It snapped up to it's feet too quickly to track as though he were a puppet and someone had pulled his strings. He stopped shivering and went absolutely still, every muscle was in lock down. He slow blinked down at her for half a second.

Kai tried to suck in a breath but it was like there was no air in the room. Whatever stood before her now was not John nor was John on the other end of the telepathic connection. Instead it was something dark and cold. She fought to pull back from it, but she wasn't fast enough. She didn't know enough and protecting herself from John didn't come naturally. It cost her. Wave after wave of cold, malicious, cunning hit her as it sought out any weakness it could use to control her as well. She opened her mouth in a silent scream and cupped her temples. She scrambled back away from him.

The Beast stared down at her through Sheppard's eyes. It had total control of Sheppard's body and it cocked its head as it watched her with cold detachment. There was pounding feet behind them and The Beast whipped around to face the medical staff dropping into a defensive crouch. It was enough of a distraction The Beast lost it's grip on their connection. Kai was able to jerk back, slamming the telepathic door closed between them and suddenly she could breathe again.

The pain of the connection breaking knocked The Beast to its knees. It's hand flew up to grab the center of its chest and Kai saw for the first time a strange blue scaling forming on the inside of his forearm. It turned John's fever bright eyes back to her. Anger, shock and betrayal all swirled in his gaze as it took an aggressive step towards her.

Seeing the fear flicker through Kai's eyes was enough for John to wrench back control. A shudder ran through his body and suddenly it was John staring down at her. He was sweating and shaking as he stood over Kai who had dropped into a defensive crouch. His heart was thundering in his ears as the pressure started to build in his temples.

"Colonel," Beckett called as he took a cautious step towards him.

John collapsed to his knees with his arms wrapped around his torso as his eyes stared desperately into Kai's.

"Help me," he begged.

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Elizabeth hurried through the halls towards the infirmary. She had received word from Beckett that his concerns over Colonel Sheppard's condition had proved to be correct. She had already been on the way to the infirmary so Beckett could explain the test results to her and the Colonel when she was notified The Colonel had collapsed.

The doors hissed open and she hurried in to where Beckett was working over his computer. John was laying down on a gurney a short distance away with his eyes closed.

"Carson," Elizabeth greeted tightly. "What's going on?" She asked, her eyes flickering back to the Colonel. "How is he?"

Beckett drew in a steadying breath. "He collapsed on his way here. Kai called it in. He's resting now."

Elizabeth looked around the infirmary. "Kai?" she asked in confusion. It didn't seem likely the Mortii would call in a medical emergency and then not stick around to make sure the Colonel was all right.

"Aye, I ordered her to her quarters to rest, she seemed quite shaken, poor dear," Beckett said grimly.

Elizabeth frowned at his words and turned to look at John. He appeared to be resting comfortably, but appearances could be deceiving. She couldn't imagine what could have happened to make Kai look shaken. She would use a lot of words to describe Kai, but 'poor dear' wasn't among them. Kai was one of the strongest people she had ever met.

'It's the retrovirus," Beckett confirmed grimly as he stepped towards Weir.

Elizabeth swung back around to face Beckett as a bad feeling went through her.

"All the tests confirm it. I had hoped if he was infected it might break down in his system because he's human," he pressed his lips together and guilt swam in his eyes. "That doesn't seem to be the case."

"You're positive?" Elizabeth asked desperately.

"Yes, I'm certain," Beckett confirmed. Then he turned, a gentle hand gripping Weir's elbow to turn her away from Sheppard. "In fact, it's beginning to alter his DNA. His strength and senses have already mutated exponentially. If it's allowed to continue he'll devolve into a creature similar to what Ellia became."

"How long do we have?" Weir asked urgently. She had just finished reading the mission reports over what happened to the Wraith girl. She couldn't accept something like that happening to Colonel Sheppard.

Beckett shook his head. "I'm not sure exactly."

"Ballpark," Weir ordered. "Months? Weeks?"

Beckett couldn't help feeling that this was his fault. He gaze was pained as he spoke the words that had been weighing on him. "Days. We have days."

Weir's eyes flashed with concern and then narrowed as she settled into problem solving mode. "Okay," she agreed. "What's the plan?" she asked authoritatively.

"I've injected him with a viral inhibitor. It should slow the effects of the retrovirus as far as his cognitive abilities are concerned, but I'm afraid that's it so far. We're exploring the various treatments that may or may not be effective."

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around herself. "No Carson, there's no time to explore. There's gotta be something in the ancient database that can help you find a treatment."

Beckett drew in a tight breath. He appreciated Elizabeth's concern, but he had already chased McKay out of the infirmary for telling him how to do his job. Elizabeth might be the leader here, but she didn't outrank him standing in the infirmary. "I know that Elizabeth," he said patiently. "I'm doing my best."

Elizabeth nodded, scrubbing her hands on her thighs. "I'm sorry, I know you are. Of course you are."

Beckett dropped his voice even lower and leaned towards Elizabeth hoping he wouldn't be overheard. "You should talk to him. He's hiding it very well, but if I was him I would be scared to death."

John lay in the gurney staring up at the ceiling as he processed everything around him. The inhibitor Beckett had given him seemed to be working. He already felt more in control. The near constant pressure against his temples was gone, and it gave him the opportunity to get used to his much more powerful senses.

There were so many sounds. The buzz of the machinery alone was maddening. Weir and Beckett were trying to keep their voices down, but he could hear conversations happening out in the hallway. Their efforts were a complete waste. He didn't like Beckett implying he was scared. He didn't feel scared at all. John sat up and looked over at them. "How am I doing?" he called grimly.

Elizabeth shared a long look with Carson before moving towards his bed. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped, uncertain how to begin.

John frowned shifting on his cot. "Anything that has you speechless has me concerned."

"You're going to be fine," she said unconvincingly as she stepped up next to the gurney.

John lifted his eyebrows. "Wow, that's dead man talk," he observed.

"No it isn't," Elizabeth snapped quickly. Her eyes flickered back to Beckett for help, but he had already returned to his research.

"Have you seen this?" John asked holding out his arm. The strange blue scales had spread from the feeding site and they now covered from his wrist to his elbow.

Elizabeth's eyes widened when she saw the waxy scaling. "Beckett, is going to figure this one out," she said but she sounded less and less convinced.

"I think I already have," John told her grimly. You know what I'm starting to feel like?" he paused for a moment, his lips pressed together. "Ford."

Elizabeth pulled back sharply. "What happened to you is completely different."

John shrugged unconvincingly. "I know. I know," he agreed. "Still. I can feel it. I mean, I can feel it changing me inside like he did."

Weir stopped for a moment and started down at Colonel Sheppard. Over the last two years, despite how reserved he could be she had gotten to know him. He was one of the most loyal, brave men she had ever met and she absolutely trusted him. "I don't think that's even possible," she said honestly. She cleared her throat and looked away from his strangely intense gaze. "Look, you're very worried-"

John interrupted her shaking his head. "But I'm not," he argued. "I know I should be in pain, or at the very least freaked out by this, but I'm not. That freaks me out more than anything."

Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest. "We're going to beat this," she promised him, hoping she sounded more reassuring than she felt.

"We're going to beat this?" John asked in disbelief. "Beckett will figure this out? You're going to be fine? You really suck at the whole bedside manner thing," he growled sardonically.

Elizabeth let out a loud sigh. "I know, I'm sorry," she said shaking her head. For the first time since coming here she felt like she could talk to him normally.

"But I appreciate the effort. Can you do me a favor?" he asked, looking down at his feet for a moment.

"Of course," she said quickly.

"Will you check on Kai? I-" John sucked in a breath and stopped pressing his lips together. He didn't want to admit how afraid he was that this thing had ruined their friendship.

"Kai?" Elizabeth asked in confusion.

"Yeah, just do me a favor and check on her at some point today," John said, leaning back against the gurney he closed his eyes.

"I will." Elizabeth promised and she turned towards the door, pleased to have an excuse to leave the infirmary.

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Several hours later Elizabeth moved back into her office, reading over Beckett's proposed mission. Major Lourne was going to lead an expedition to retrieve Eratus bug eggs. The medical team seemed to think they might be able to generate a cure using stem cells found in the eggs. Infiltrating the nest of the predatory bugs was going to be a dangerous endeavor, but the Major, Beckett and the other members of the Colonel's team were determined.

John swaggered into her office, his eyes were hard and glinting as he studied Weir. She looked wary of him and it put him even more on edge. "Look," he snapped motioning over his shoulder. "I made a new friend."

Elizabeth glanced to the marine trailing behind him. "It's only protocol."

His eyes narrowed. "That's your answer for everything," he snapped unkindly.

Elizabeth ran her eyes over him. There was an aggressive set to his shoulders and his eyes were hard and cruel. He didn't look like himself and it made her nervous. She had seen the Colonel make himself intimidating before, but this was something different. "You look well," she commented her gaze landing on his scale covered hand with it's claws, and the scales that were peaking out of the neck of his shirt.

There was a shift behind his eyes and suddenly he seemed embarrassed. He fumbled as he jammed his infected hand into his pocket so it was out of sight. He shifted his weight and self consciously fiddled with the collar of his shirt.

Weir immediately felt bad for drawing attention to the changes. If they were frightening to her she couldn't imagine how frightening they were to him. She cleared her throat. "Should you be out of bed?" she asked more gently.

John rolled his shoulders. "I was going a little crazy down there so they said I could walk around for a bit. Look," he said, his eyes suddenly hardening. "I'm trying to say I want to go on this mission."

Weir wasn't fast enough to contain her surprise. "You said yourself, you are not fit for any off-world activity."

John's jaw tightened. "The inhibitor that Beckett's got me on that's keeping me lucid...they keep having to up the dose," he confessed. He knew what it meant, even if no one was saying to words. He was a dead man walking if they didn't come up with a solution fast.

"I know, they told me," she said grimly.

"I don't know how much more time I have, but the last thing I want to do is sit on my...mutating hands!" he snarled staring down at the claws on his right hand. "While my team puts their lives on the line trying to find me a cure. I should be with them!" he shouted.

"No, I'm sorry," Weir shot him down quickly.

Seeing his show of temper was hurting his case more than helping John fought to compose himself. "What's the worst that can happen? I die?" he challenged.

"You compromise the lives of everyone else. They have enough things-"

"Wait, wait wait," John snarled talking over her. "Suddenly I'm a liability?" He snarled and took an aggressive step towards her.

Elizabeth stiffened but refused to back down on this. "Your condition can change rapidly."

Tension thrummed through his body as his muscles contracted and his hands tightened into fists. "I know and I also know I can do this!"

Elizabeth tightened her jaw even as her eyes flickered to the marine standing over Sheppard's shoulder. "I'm glad you feel that way, but it would be-"

"This is my life we're talking about," he snarled with an angry shake of his head.

"I know that."

"I'm going on that mission," he growled.

"No, John you're not."

Uncontrollable rage surged through him. He whirled around and struck out at the glass wall. "Damnit!" he roared. The glass shattered, raining down all over the floor.

Elizabeth jumped up to knock down the stunner the marine was pointing at John. "It's okay, put it down!" she yelled sharply.

John froze as he stared down at his clenched fist as though he didn't recognize it. "I'm betting that didn't sell you," John said sardonically.

Elizabeth eyed him warily. "No, no not really."

"I should go back to the infirmary," John said motioning towards the door.

"Yes," Elizabeth agreed breathlessly.

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Kai returned to her room. She didn't like having to leave Sheppard, but Beckett had been right. She needed to rest. What had happened when she tried to access the mental connection had worn her out. She could feel a headache building but she didn't want to go to the infirmary. They had to focus on helping Sheppard.

She took a shower and changed. She tried to lay down and rest but her thoughts kept going to the thing she had felt in her mind where John should have been. Shoving herself to her feet she hurried out of her room. She didn't want to bother them in the infirmary so she headed towards the control room. She was halfway there when she heard McKay and Lorne talking down one of the side hallways about Sheppard.

She turned and hurried to catch up to them. "Major Lorne," she called.

He turned. Both he and McKay were wearing their off-world gear and flak vests.

"You're going on a mission for the Colonel?" she asked unnecessarily. She was too anxious to bother pretending she hadn't been eavesdropping on their conversation.

Lorne nodded. "Yep. Beckett thinks he might be able to come up with a cure."

"I would like to come with," Kai said. "I can help on the mission."

Lorne opened his mouth to respond but Colonel Caldwell marched around the corner. "Just what in the hell is going on here?" Kai turned to face Colonel Caldwell as his eyes narrowed on Major Lorne. Caldwell swung around to glare at her and shoved a finger towards her chest. "You aren't approved for any mission. I just read over your file and correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't have any military clearance what-so-ever."

Caldwell turned towards Major Lorne. "What mission is this? I haven't seen any off-world requests come in."

Major Lorne stood at attention. "Doctor Weir approved a mission to retrieve Iratus eggs for a possible cure we-"

"Doctor Weir is not in charge of military operations on this base," Caldwell interrupted stiffly. "Any off world missions have to go through me."

Major Lorne stiffened, but didn't argue as the Colonel got in his face.

Kai scowled, she liked Lorne and it bothered her that Caldwell was using his power to intimidate the other man. "Since when? Isn't that Colonel Sheppard's job?" She was anxious about John and that made her snappier than she should have been with Caldwell.

Caldwell turned his head to glare down at Kai. Kai knew she had overstepped but instead of backing down she lifted her chin defiantly.

"Last time I checked you are a mechanic and that information isn't your concern," Caldwell replied sharply.

McKay stepped up next to Kai. "No, but as a senior member of staff it is my concern." He puffed himself up. It was clear Kai wasn't the only one Caldwell was rubbing the wrong way.

Caldwell turned his head to shoot McKay a disgruntled look. He sighed exasperatedly. "Doctor Weir has asked me to step in while Colonel Sheppard is ill Doctor McKay," Caldwell explained tightly, keeping his entire focus on Rodney and purposefully ignored Kai. "Now, I understand Sheppard was fairly casual about this, but there will be no off world missions without my direct approval."

"We are going to get the eggs Beckett needs to cure Sheppard," McKay snapped impatiently. "Are you planning on not approving that?" He challenged.

Caldwell looked back and forth between McKay and Lorne and finally nodded. "Fine, I'll let it go this time, but next time I expect a written request on my desk before you go." He turned back to face Kai. "You're still not going," he said severely and he stalked away down the hall.

Kai turned to Major Lorne who shrugged apologetically. "You could try Doctor Weir," he suggested. And he and McKay walked away.

Kai headed back towards the control room. She stepped into Weir's office, side stepping the broken glass that was spread across the floor.

"Redecorating?" she asked.

"You heard?" Weir asked, her hands were still shaking slightly as she straightened the items on her desk for the third time.

Kai looked down at Doctor Weir's trembling hands and then glanced back over her shoulder at the broken window.

"He's not himself," Weir said justified, forcing herself to sit.

"Yes," Kai agreed. "I was sparring with him earlier." She said thoughtfully.

Weir's eyes widened in alarm. "Are you okay?" She asked, her eyes running over Kai.

"I'm fine," Kai promised, "but Colonel Sheppard was...different," she finally settled on. She didn't want to go into detail over what had happened. It was too intimate and she had such mixed feelings over it.

Weir nodded though she was frowning as though she didn't believe her. "Earlier he asked me to check on you."

Kai swallowed. It would have had to have been after he was taken to the infirmary. He was still worried about her even after he collapsed. She didn't know what to do with that. She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight.

"He's having a peculiar reaction to the retro virus," Weir explained. "Doctor Beckett says it's transforming him. Taking over his mind and body. When he reached the infirmary his heartbeat was dangerously high. It was taking all his control to fight it. Beckett administered an inhibitor. It's allowed him fairly stable mental
control...up to this point," she added shakily. Elizabeth cleated her throat. "He's resting comfortably while Beckett works on finding a cure."

"That's why I'm here," Kai said tightly.

Elizabeth arched a brow, inviting the other woman to continue.

Kai cleared her throat and stood up straighter. Weir would never agree to her proposition if she thought Kai needed to be protected. "I understand there is a mission being coordinated to retrieve a cure-"

"Well, the possibility of a cure," Elizabeth corrected.

Kai nodded sharply. "I asked to be included on the mission, but it seems Colonel Caldwell is now in command of military operations. And he...well, I don't believe he trusts me."

Elizabeth steepled her fingers in front of her mouth. She had already had a run in with Colonel Caldwell earlier that day over sweeping changes he was making to Sheppard's military policies. She wasn't at all surprised to hear he refused to allow Kai on a mission. She pressed her lips together in a grim line. "It is Major Lorne's op," she clarified.

Kai nodded.

Elizabeth wasn't sure there was much Kai's presence and particular skill set would add to the mission. Mostly she was fairly certain Kai, similar to herself, just needed something to do to help. "And unfortunately I believe the jumper is full," Weir added.

Kai exhaled as frustration coursed through her. She couldn't get the feeling of that thing taking over him out of her head. She couldn't sit by and do nothing while he struggled against it. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help," Kai said, turning to go.

"Kai wait," Elizabeth called after her.

Kai turned back around.

"I was going to go check on him and notify him of his team's status. Would you like to join me?" Elizabeth asked as she fidgeted with her hands.

Kai wasn't sure if Elizabeth was wary of seeing Sheppard alone or if she thought Kai needed to be kept busy. Either way, she would happily take the excuse to check on John.

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Kai was surprised to see a guard stationed outside Sheppard's quarters. Elizabeth nodded once to the marine who nodded back. It wasn't one Kai was familiar with and she wondered if this was yet another change Colonel Caldwell had instituted.

Elizabeth swiped her hand over the door controls and they two women stepped into the room together. Kai had only ever been to the Colonel's quarters once before. They were still just as spartan. With only a single piece of art on the wall, his golf clubs and a single photo on the night stand. They were also dark. While Kai could see just fine, Elizabeth reached for the light controls.

"John?" Elizabeth called into the darkness of the room nervously. She glanced at Kai but the Mortii didn't look concerned.

Elizabeth reached for the lights.

"Leave them off." Sheppard ordered sharply.

Kai turned towards his voice. He didn't sound right. There was something off in his tone that made her wary. Even in the darkness she could see the outline of where he sat on his bed with his back to them. His shoulders were slightly hunched and he didn't look their way.

Elizabeth hesitated in confusion. "What?"

"The lights," he clarified, speaking slowly as though she were stupid. "They hurt my eyes."

Elizabeth subconsciously moved closer to Kai. "I came to practice my bedside manner. How are you?"

John's voice was hard and without emotion and it made Kai's chest tighten. "My body is mutating into a giant bug. How are you?" he asked sarcastically.

"I came to give you an update,"
Elizabeth continued on with forced brightness but her fear was almost palpable. Whatever had happened in that office, it was clear to Kai it had made a lasting impression on their leader.

Refusing to admit she was afraid Elizabeth strode purposefully towards John. "Your team is preparing to leave. Major Lourne is leading the team. He's bringing Walker, Stevens, Ronon, Teyla and McKay. They have a plan to locate eggs and then be back here in no time."

"No time," John observed, turning his head to continue to stare at the walls as the women moved around to his side of the bed. "Then what?"

"Honestly I don't know."

John nodded, but he still wouldn't look at them.

"Hey, are you all right? Do you need me to call someone?"

"Who would you call?" John's voice was a low growl in the back of his throat.

Kai was locked down telepathically, but her instincts were tingling. There was something very off about John right now.

"Do you need to see a Doctor?" Elizabeth asked, pushing to move around Kai.

Kai held up her hand, stopping the other woman from getting closer. She was watching him closely. The tension thrumming through his body continued to rise the longer they were in the room.

"I need a bigger security detail," John mumbled, keeping his face averted.

"Excuse me?" Elizabeth shoved past Kai so she was closer to Sheppard.

John cleared his throat and tightened his hands into fists. He could feel his new claws dig into his palm. "At least two men, stationed at my door. Sooner rather than later."

Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief. "What are you talking about?"

John drew in a deep breath. He could hear and smell Kai, but she hadn't said anything yet. He wondered if she was as scared of him as Elizabeth. Something in his chest twisted painfully at the thought of her fearing him. "Just trust me, you're going to need them," he warned them. Elizabeth could be stubborn, but he trusted Kai to be pragmatic.

Elizabeth took another step towards Sheppard. "Listen John-"

Kai reached out and caught Elizabeth's arm, stopping her progress. Elizabeth turned to snap at her the same moment John turned to face them.

"Oh my god," Elizabeth gasped when she saw John's face. She stepped back so fast she stumbled into Kai. Kai moved Elizabeth around behind her so she was the one facing John.

The virus was spreading. One of his eyes was slit and the light green of a wraith. While the other was still his normal warm hazel. Blue scales were climbing up his neck and the underside of his jaw. A few of them had worked their way up one cheek.

John followed the motion like a cat, then his gaze snapped back to stare into Kai's eyes. Strangely, Kai didn't look afraid at all. Her grey eyes held his without hesitation or fear of what he was becoming. "They need to hurry," he told her, his voice rough with emotion.

Kai nodded, pressing her lips together as she fought back the desolation she felt. She was losing him.

"You should be in the infirmary," Elizabeth continued to argue.

Kai glanced over her shoulder in annoyance. "The infirmary isn't secure," Kai said in a low tone, unable to hide her aggravation.

John held her gaze with an intensity that wasn't his own. He nodded once briskly and she knew that was why he was here. John would do whatever was necessary to protect the people around him. He would never risk anyone else's safety.

A pained expression flashed through his hazel eye. "The inhibitor is only keeping my lucid it isn't stopping the retrovirus. I can feel it, slithering around in my head all the time now."

Kai closed her eyes at that. She couldn't imagine what it would be like for someone like John to be painfully aware as this was happening to him. For John to protect and care for the people under his command was so ingrained in him that to feel this thing that could use his body as a weapon take over would be the worst kind of hell.

"Still-" Elizabeth started.

John shot to his feet, faster and more powerful than Kai had ever seen him move. "Don't argue with me," he snarled at Elizabeth.

Kai reached out between them, placing a gentle hand against his chest and all that power stilled. She could feel his heart thudding away nearly out of control beneath her hand. She frowned down at where her hand rested against the warmth of his black t-shirt.

John looked down at Kai's small, delicate wrist, knowing with the virus in his system it would take nothing to snap it. He could feel how delicate the bones were. He closed his eyes and shuddered. He could feel the toxins moving through his blood like poison, stealing away parts of his mind, but he wouldn't hurt Kai. The pounding in his temples was constant now. There was no escaping the pain of The Beast fighting him for control and Kai was so warm and soft. He took a fast step towards her, closing the distance so only centimeters separated them.

"John," Elizabeth said in a warning voice.

Kai held up her other hand to stop Elizabeth, but she never looked away from John. "He's not hurting me."

"I wouldn't," he whispered, his breath fanning her skin. He swallowed. "Never," he promised her in the same low tone. "Kai," he gasped and he ducked his head, almost nuzzling against her neck. Every one of his senses was heightened and it was difficult to focus on anything but her. Images of how soft and pliant she had been in his hands in the training room kept playing over and over in his mind. "You smell-"

"John," she said in a low tone, cutting him off before he could finish. The tone of his voice had changed and even though she couldn't feel it, she knew he was slowly losing control. She needed him to focus.

His body tightened, the predatory fluidity gone from his muscles and he was just John again. He forced his body into lock down so he wouldn't give in to the images the beast inside him was pushing to the forefront of his mind.

"You need to get out of here," his voice was a dangerous purr and his lips grazed her skin as he spoke. He was trying to resist, but her scent to his heightened was too much. She smelled like the ocean and lavender. She shivered sensually beneath the touch of his lips and a spicy scent hit him that made his blood roar through his body.

Kai could feel the effort it was taking for him to keep control. She wanted to help him so badly, but she didn't know what would happen if she tried to reach for him telepathically again. She reached up and caught his cheek in her hand. The skin was slick and strangely waxy beneath her hand. He turned into her touch, his lips resting against the warmth of her palm.

"John," Kai's voice caught in her throat desperately.

Hearing Kai's voice so breathy was like a bucket of cold water for John. The Beast was using her again. It was manipulating the two of them to gain control, and John couldn't let it anywhere near her. Suddenly, John was in absolute control.

"I'm not safe to be around anymore," he warned her. He was desperate for her to understand that he couldn't protect her from himself. His body shuddered with the effort of keeping The Beast at bay. He hung his head in defeat as his breathing kicked up and his heart started to pound as though he had just run a marathon.

Kai could feel the strain it was taking for John to keep control. He moved painfully slowly as though worried about scaring her until his forehead rested against hers. Kai laid both hands flat against his chest and closed her eyes for a brief moment of comfort. It was distant, like hearing someone call out when you were underwater, but she felt the faintest nudge.

"There you are," she whispered so low only he would be able to hear her.

"You can't be here," he told her without opening his eyes and for some reason Kai knew, knew he meant the connection.

She closed her eyes against the effort it took to lock down the telepathic link once more. When it was done she opened her eyes to see him grimace painfully.

Behind them Elizabeth moved catching them both by surprise and John was suddenly in motion. He moved inhumanly fast as he twisted around protectively so he was between Kai and Weir. Something like a growl bubbled up from his throat and Elizabeth's eyes widened in fear.

Kai reached out and touched his forearm to steady him. The thing that was taking over him for some reason seemed to recognize her just fine, but she wasn't sure if Elizabeth would be safe. John looked down at her hand where it touched the waxy, blue scaled skin covering his arm. He ripped his arm from her hand and jumped back from her as though he had been burned.

He wrapped his arms around himself protectively and John's eyes were tormented as he met Kai's gaze once more. "Get some more men at my door and get the hell out of here."

Kai tried to take another step towards him. The need to comfort and help him was overwhelming. Elizabeth stepped up beside Kai and grabbed her arm, tugging her towards the door. "Okay John," Elizabeth agreed fearfully.

John watched the motion, his eyes locked on where Elizabeth was touching Kai. John closed his eyes and shuddered as he fought to control the instincts to protect what was his.

><><

So...what did you think?

This has always been one of my favorite episodes and I took some artistic licensing with it, but I hope you still enjoyed it!

Thank you all so much!