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It had been an exhausting day. Kai felt drained both physically and emotionally, but she doubted she would be able to sleep until she heard their verdict. She was tired of being poked and prodded, but before she could take some much needed alone time there was one more thing she had to do.

Kai knocked on the door of the one person she felt she owed an explanation. The one person she was surprised had not been at her interview. Doctor Zelenka opened the door a few moments later. He was in his pajamas and his hair was mussed from sleep. Kai wasn't sure what time it was, but it was late. She felt guilty for waking him, but this couldn't wait until morning.

"Kai," he greeted in surprise, shoving his glasses up his nose. "What's wrong? Are the radios not working?" He asked, baffled why Kai would be at his door in the middle of the night.

"Radek," she said. "I have something I need to speak with you about, may I come in?"

Radek nodded and stepped back, ushering her into the room. "Can I get you some tea?" he asked gesturing to an electric tea kettle half buried beneath papers.

Kai nodded, wringing her hands together. "Tea would be good," she was surprised how nervous she was. The Major made her nervous but it was for other reasons. Radek had been nothing but kind to her, she understood how truly rare that gift was.

Radek quickly began making them each a cup.

His quarters were clean but cluttered. They were the living quarters of someone too busy, with too many projects on his mind to worry about little things like straightening up. The only surface not cluttered with items was a small board covered in wooden pieces. Kai stepped up to it, cocking her head to the side.

"It's called chess. It's a strategy game," Radek explained, stepping up to Kai and holding out a mug with the words University of Cambridge written on the side. "I don't have any lemon or milk I'm afraid," Radek said apologetically, gesturing to the black tea.

Kai wrapped her chilled hands around the warm ceramic mug appreciatively. "It's perfect," she promised him taking a sip of the strong black tea.

He nodded and sipped his own, waiting for her to speak. Kai took another sip of the tea, trying to decide where to start. She owed Radek more than anyone on this base. Not only had he made arrangements with Weir for her to stay in the beginning, but he had welcomed her into his team and given her a place to belong.

She exhaled. "Obviously you know something is going on," she said. "I wanted to be the one to tell you."

Radek listened as Kai told him everything. He was quiet the entire time she spoke, nodding occasionally. When she was done the silence that stretched between them hung heavy in the air. Kai's tea cup was barely warm in her hand, but she forced herself to take a sip as she waited for his reaction.

Radek looked thoughtful for a few moments. When he glanced up at Kai, she was watching him with such concern he smiled kindly trying to reassure her. "To be honest," he said slowly. "I was wondering what it was."

"What, what was?" Kai asked in confusion. She had been so sure he would condemn her and refuse to work with her that this quiet acceptance was all the more nerve wracking.

"You work like you have something to prove," Radek said with a small smile. "I mean most scientists here do. We all have something to prove or someone to compete with in Rodney's case, but you-" he shrugged. 

Kai frowned into her mug of tea.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing. You're a hard worker. I have no complaints...I am assuming what kept you away from the lab today was this?" Raken asked.

Kai nodded. "Doctor Weir, Major Sheppard and Sergeant Bates spent the day interviewing me. Sorry," she added. "Any luck with the Drive?"

Radek's smile was indulgent. "We are continuing to pull data off the drive for you to translate. It will be there tomorrow," he promised.

"Assuming I am," Kai said looking down at her tea. She glanced back up at him. "Sorry," she said, catching herself before she indulged in even more self pity. "I hate waiting."

"You are waiting for Doctor Weir and Major Sheppard to-?"

"Decide if I can stay," Kai finished for him. She downed the rest of her tea. "Look, Radek. You were kind to me and I lied to you-"

Radek shook his head. "I don't care about your past Kai, everyone is entitled to their secrets and their past. You work hard in the lab and you are not easily bullied by McKay. Nothing beyond that matters to me."

The ugly churning in the pit of her stomach that had been there since the hive loosened a small amount. "Thank you Radek," she said setting her empty cup down.

Radek nodded. "I will teach you to play some day," he said gesturing towards the board.

"I'd like that."

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John couldn't sleep. He had been tired sitting in Weirs office, but once she had shooed him away and he had returned to his room he found himself pacing restlessly. Weir was right, somehow, despite everything, he did want Kai to stay. In fact, the more he learned about her the more he thought she could be a useful member of the expedition. He hadn't forgotten his promise to her. She wouldn't have to go on combat missions if she didn't want to, but it was useful to have someone on the science team who could defend themselves if necessary.

After pacing for hours John finally resigned himself to not sleeping. He changed into gym shorts and a t-shirt and headed down to the track. He stepped into the gym and was surprised to see the lights were on. He glanced up towards the track that ran overhead in catwalks. The large room was so empty he could clearly hear the echoing footsteps of someone else running. He had hoped to be alone, but whoever was here this late probably wanted the same thing. He stretched and set off at a slow jog to warm up. He only made it halfway around when none other than Kai Zian herself passed him.

She hesitated when she saw him and the two of them stopped, facing one another awkwardly.

"Can't sleep either?" John asked uncomfortably.

Kai chewed thoughtfully on her lip. "No, I doubt I will until-" she dropped off pressing her lips together.

John nodded uncomfortably.

Kai opened her mouth to say something but stopped. She wanted things to be okay, but she didn't know how to fix things.  She had never had to do this before. Her people accepted deceit was part of life, and certainly part of any given mission. Any time she had finished a mission in the past she had always been able to leave the people she lied to behind. Now she had to not only face them, but admit she was wrong and ask for forgiveness.

"I can let you-" he started to say.

Kai spoke at the same time. "Major I'm-"

They both stopped. John rubbed at the back of his neck while Kai looked down at her hands.

"I just wanted to say..." Kai started "That I'm sorry Major."

"Yeah," John replied. "You said that already."

She sighed. "I know I did. And if I'm allowed to stay I don't know if I'll ever feel like I can stop," she said toeing at the rubber of the track with her athletic shoes. 

John shrugged. "Technically you didn't," he told her, surprising himself in his desire to make her feel better. "We just don't like being lied to."

"I understand that...it's strange. I don't know if I have ever apologized to anyone before this."

John arched his eyebrows.

"My people are a little more...well, they aren't the type to say they're sorry," Kai said with a  small shrug and a shy smile. 

John nodded. "I can understand that..." he dragged off. "Well, Elizabeth will hand down her verdict in the morning."

"And you Major? Have you already handed in your verdict?" she asked.

John nodded. "I did, right away."

Kai nodded. "I suppose that's to be expected." She turned to go her stomach twisting with the realization that it was over.

"Kai," he called after her.

She stopped, her grey eyes were troubled and a small line of stress showed between her eyes. She didn't know why it mattered to her so much that the Major forgave her. She remembered his anger over the people of Hoff, and his desire to protect her and the rest of his team from the Genii. The Major was a good man who cared for his people. 

"The decision is up to Elizabeth, but for what it's worth...my recommendation was for you to stay."

Kai frowned. "Really?" she asked in disbelief. She had been so sure that Major Sheppard would have been the one to push for her to leave.

"Yeah, I mean...you're one hell of a mechanic," he said. "And the way McKay makes it sound Zelenka is impossible to work with so..."

Kai snorted and nodded. "Right," she said chuckling. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well, have a good run Major."

Sheppard nodded briskly. "Sleep well Zian," he said and he turned and jogged off down the track.

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Elizabeth was up before dawn. She had been going over the reports late into the night, trying to make her decision. She was surprised Sheppard had decided so quickly, especially after he had been so adamant she was up to something since the beginning. She had a final meeting at 0900 with the senior staff to make the decision, but before that she had two people she wanted to visit.

Doctor Heightmeyer was her first stop. The psychologist was eating breakfast in the mess hall in the early morning light. She smiled but didn't look at all surprised when Elizabeth sat down across from her.

Doctor Heightmeyer took a bite of her yogurt before she spoke. "I reviewed the interview transcripts, mission reports, as well as the videos you sent."

"So," Elizabeth said after a moment. "What is your recommendation?"

"Well, I'm afraid it's not that easy. I wish it was. I feel I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that given the information on her past and her people that every psych 101 student out there would say that she should be a textbook sociopath."

Elizabeth tensed. Something like this was exactly what she was worried about. She needed reassurance that Kai wouldn't betray them.

"However-" Heightmeyer continued. "From what I have read Kai seems genuine in her desire to stay. All the reports show she is loyal and hard working."

"Her knowledge of Wraith technology, the jumpers and skills as a pilot make her incredibly useful," Elizabeth interrupted nodding. These were all things she knew. "But-"

Heightmeyer sat back in her seat. "But," she interjected cutting Elizabeth off before she took control of the conversation. Heightmeyer was used to dealing with the scientists on this expedition and Elizabeth herself was used to being in charge and having all the answers, but she had come to her for a reason. "It is difficult enough rectifying the cultural differences with people from another galaxy, but when you take into account a society like the one she had lived in-"

"Exactly," Elizabeth jumped in, feeling at once justified for her decision.

"Wrong," Heightmeyer said shaking her head.

Elizabeth scowled.

Heightmeyer leaned forward. "For all intents and purposes Kai should have gotten what she needed from us and moved on. Instead, she chose to stay. She worked to find a place to belong and is actively seeking fulfillment from being part of a working team. These all indicate if not a well adjusted individual, then one seeking self betterment."

Elizabeth sighed, cupping her forehead in her hand. she had hoped the psychologist would make her decision easier, but instead she only made things harder.

Heightmeyer smiled gently. "It's a difficult decision to make, but other than hiding a past she is ashamed of, has she actually done anything to make you not trust her?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "It isn't that easy."

"I think it can be," Heightmeyer said taking another bite of her breakfast. Elizabeth was looking for someone to justify her considering throwing Kai out.  Heightmeyer wasn't willing to do that. "I think Kai has suffered a lot of trauma in her past. I think we could show her that it can be another way. We all deal with shame and questions of self-worth. I think Kai deserves a chance."

Elizabeth pinched her lips together but didn't argue. "If Kai stays I would like to have her speak with you regularly. I think it would be important to monitor her status."

"Of course," Heightmeyer agreed with a smile.

Elizabeth climbed to her feet. "Thank you for your help."

Heightmeyer nodded as Elizabeth left her to finish her breakfast.

Elizabeth was no more convinced either way as she made her way down to the science labs. She wasn't sure if he would be working yet, but she wanted to get his opinion before she met with the other senior staff about the situation.

She found Zelenka working in his lab. She hesitated as she stepped across the threshold when she spotted Kai sitting at one of the work stations. It surprised her. They hadn't formally suspended her from working, but she would have expected the woman to wait for their decision before spending more time working on a protect that might not effect her.

Kai looked up when the doors opened, but went right back to work when she realized it was Weir.

"We have not recovered any additional information off the drive Doctor Weir," Zelenka said without looking up  from his laptop. "Kai is translating now. I will send up a report once we know more."

"That's actually not why I'm here Doctor Zelenka," Elizabeth said.

Zelenka lifted his eyes from his screen. "What do you need?"

Weir's eyes flickered over to Kai who was steadfastly studying her laptop. "I was wondering if I could have a moment to speak with you in private."

Kai tensed at Weir's soft spoken request. The only possible thing would be for her to notify Zelenka of her termination. Nothing else made sense.

"No," Zelenka responded, surprising them all.

"Excuse me?" Weir asked.

"Whatever it is you have to ask, you can do so in front of Kai."

"I need to ask you some questions, it would be better-" Weir started to say.

"I can save us all a lot of time," Zelenka said lifting his chin defiantly. "I don't care about her past, what I care about it decrypting this data drive. Now,Kai is the best we have for dealing with Wraith tech and engines on the Jumpers. She is hard working, she shows up early, stays late and has given me no reason not to trust her. That is enough for me."

"And that's it?" Weir asked in disbelief.

Zelenka turned back to his laptop and resumed typing. "That's it," he agreed. "Please excuse me, we have a lot of work to do."

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Elizabeth and John were the first to the staff meeting.

"So?" John asked, turning himself back and forth in the wheely chair. "Made your decision yet?" His tone was light, but he knew how hard this one would be for Elizabeth.

"I thought I had," Elizabeth confessed. She glanced around. They were still waiting for McKay, Bates and Teyla.

"What changed your mind?" He asked.

"Everyone else," Elizabeth said. "You know, of everyone, you surprised me the most John," Elizabeth confessed. "After how adamant you were when she first arrived that she not stay..." she shook her head. "It gave me a lot to think about."

Sheppard shrugged. "You weren't there on Hoff when things went bad in the hospital. Or on that Hive when she saved Rodney's life and put herself between me and the Wraith guards without hesitation...I know what it looks like on paper but situations like that...they show you what a person is really like."

"And you think she should stay," it wasn't a question,

John nodded grimly. "I do."

Elizabeth sighed. "Okay, lets get the others in here and go from there. I hope I don't regret this decision."

John flashed a smile. "Me too."

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