Okay this one is short but you'll see why it needs to be. Currently listening to 'When We Were Young' by Adele on repeat. I have no clue why. I dedicate this chapter to heeyitsm becuase you are amazing awesome and very sweet. Thank you. 

Chapter 18:

Keefe was running. Keefe was lost. Keefe was falling

and falling

and falling.

He started awake, shooting upright in his bed and hitting his head. The nightmare that had plagued him overnight since he left had, unsurprisingly, returned. The dream was always the same. He was lost in a dark cavern. He could hear Sophie and Fitz calling for him, telling him he made a mistake and saying they missed him, that he could come home. He would always run towards the voices, believing them. Then walls would appear, sliding in front of him from nowhere, crashing together in the dark. And then, at some point, he would reach the voices and find no one there, sure it was the right place. He would end up lost in the dark, and would stumble, fall over, and keep falling in the dark, without ever hitting the bottom. He aways woke up before he hit the bottom.

He knew it was a dream, of course, but even after he woke up he couldn't shake the feeling of falling. Keefe reached up and rubbed his forehead, scrubbing his hands down his face, and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to disperse the feeling, the images stuck in his mind.

Sighing, he fell back on his bed, careful not to wake Alvar, whose bed was across the room. He was a full member of the Neverseen now, but they were all cramped into one safe house after the Black Swan had figured out to access their hideouts. The Neverseen, Keefe still couldn't think of himself as a member of the group, was planning their strike on the other organization, of course, using all the information Keefe had given them. And yet, as they got closer to victory, he felt further and further from the cause he was allied with.

They had found his mother. He knew that. There was a meeting the next day, to discuss her rescue. He was to be in charge of the mission. His first command. His mission. But he knew they were using him. They had to be. No one would look at each other. They were all corrupted by their fear. By their guilt. No one would look at him. But he knew she was alive. As long as he could still rescue her, everything would be okay. He could talk his way out again. Of course they didn't trust him. No one did. He had burned every bridge, and now he was stranded in the water without a boat.

Slowly, Keefe fell asleep, still thinking about betrayals and possibilities. Slowly, he sunk back into nightmares, never quite sure if he was thinking or dreaming, tossing and turning all night. Slowly, Keefe started falling, deeper and deeper, but never stopping, and never reaching the bottom.

When Keefe woke up, he had no memory of his dream. He never did. All he ever remembered was the fall.