The next time I opened my eyes, it was to bright sunlight shining down on the water and familiar surroundings. Sometime during the night, someone (most likely Mom) transferred me from the bathing room floor to our bed. I still felt tense but also stiff and sore as well. I took a shaky breath, exhaling slowly.

I knew I would never be able to get the sensual look in Zander's eyes out of my head. I swore I could still feel his hands as he'd bound my own with rope, still feel his touch as he'd stroked a hand down my cheek. The only thing that kept me from screaming as I recalled his touch was reminding myself that I'd done it to keep Waverly safe. My head was still foggy, but I no longer had a haze hanging over me.

The blanket in the chair by the side of our bed indicated that Jonah had slept there the night before. I couldn't stop the shudder that zipped down my spine. Despite knowing full well that none of the mermen in our family would even think of harming me, I couldn't get rid of that uneasiness whenever I recalled what Zander had done.

When the knock sounded on our suite door, my heartbeat sped up as I clutched the blanket tighter around myself. I didn't blink until I heard a gentle voice on the other side of the door. "Faye? Sweetheart, it's me."

Mom. The more deep breaths I took, the slower my heartbeat became. Slowly, I unclenched my fists from where they were white-knuckled on the blanket. "Come in," I called out, my voice barely a whisper. At first, I was afraid she wouldn't be able to hear me. Then I saw the handle turn as she opened the door.

She halted just inside the suite, her eyes wide. "Jonah was worried sick when he woke up and couldn't find you."

I wasn't sure what triggered it—maybe it was the tone of her voice, the expression on her face, or the mention of Jonah. Whatever it was, tears were sliding down my cheeks before she even finished speaking. It started as soft sniffles and eventually morphed into uncontrollable sobbing. She put a hand over her heart as her eyes filled. 

I wasn't exactly sure why I was crying. Maybe it was misplaced guilt for allowing Zander to take advantage of me, much like he'd done with Waverly. But I couldn't stop. A dam had broken inside me—one I'd kept stopped up since it happened. Everything—guilt, shame, regret, anger, fear, doubt—came back in full force.

I heard Mom swim towards me, halting in front of the bed. "I'm so sorry, honey. I'm here. I'm here with you, sweetheart. I love you so much." Sobs choked her words, and soon, she was crying as well.

I wanted so badly to voice what had happened to me—if only to get it off my chest and out in the open. But every time I tried to form the words, I saw the faces of those unsuspecting mermaids. They didn't deserve what happened to them—what I had done. The fact that I was responsible for such a heinous act was almost worse than the act itself.

I shivered, wrapping the blanket tighter around myself. "I-t h-appened s-o f-ast. I didn't have a choice. He said he would kill them if I didn't... If I didn't..." Squeezing my eyes shut as I trailed off, I blew out a heavy breath.

Mom never pressed me. "Take your time, sweetie. It's okay." The concern in her eyes was stark, as was the worry edged beside it. She squeezed my hand, drawing a choked sob from my throat.

Steeling myself, I took another deep breath, and everything spilled out. My voice wavered as I described what Zander had done, but it didn't break. My hands clenched into fists as tears spilled down my cheeks. Fresh shame and guilt rushed through me as my cheeks burned.

When Mom spoke, her voice was steady despite the tears in her eyes. "Faye. Look at me." My chest hitched as I met her gaze and saw the tears glittering in her eyes. "You did nothing wrong. You were forced into an impossible situation, and you made the best decision possible under horrible circumstances. It may not seem like it now, but I promise someday—whether tomorrow or years in the future—it will get better."

I wanted to believe her—more than anything—but I just kept seeing Zander's face in my mind. "I killed them." My entire body shuddered as my voice broke, tears spilling down my cheeks.

Mom stayed by my side as I broke down all over again. I let out a strangled cry as memory washed over me, unearthing a detail I guess my subconscious had intentionally blocked out in the aftermath of the attack.

After first hearing the song, I had left the palace in a daze. I had no idea what to expect, so I'd been shocked when half a dozen mermaids had appeared. What had terrified me the most when he'd unearthed the replica of Lost Soul Pendant—something I hadn't yet let myself consider the implications of—was how Aunt Nerissa would react when I broke the news to her.

"Oh, gods," I breathed, closing my eyes as a shudder rippled down my spine. I knew I had to eventually—I wasn't sure if I could. Intentionally force Aunt Nerissa and Aunt Izzy to revisit those painful memories? I knew almost better than anyone how your past actions could haunt you for the rest of your life, so how could I possibly go through with it? 

"What is it, Faye?" Mom's voice was concerned, but I detected an undercurrent of worry in it as well. Aunt Nerissa and Uncle Jay were our parents' oldest friends—they'd been with Mom and Dad since the beginning. Drew and I had heard countless stories of Dad's childhood friendship with Uncle Jay and the trust and bond they shared.

I knew Aunt Nerissa didn't have the relationship with Mom that Dad and Uncle Jay had, but I also knew they'd do anything for each other. The thought of facing Uncle Jay and Uncle Kai—never mind Dad, Drew, and Jonah—almost made my resolve crumble. I also knew that no matter how often I recounted what had happened or how much time had passed, the unease I felt around mermen in general would never entirely disappear. 

I took another shaky breath, steeling myself yet again. "We need to go to Aegrem. There's something all of our family needs to hear." I didn't elaborate, but the grave tone in my voice told Mom everything she needed to know.

Wordlessly, she nodded, closing the door as she left our suite. I used that time to change out of my old dress and into a fresh one. It was a pretty red-and-black one that Mom had gotten me for my most recent birthday. Doing something productive gave me little time to dwell on what was minutes away from occurring. I saw my reflection in my closet mirror, pausing briefly.

I could honestly say I did not recognize the mermaid staring back at me. The old sparkle in her eyes that had been there when Mom and Dad had adopted us was nowhere to be found. There were permanent stress lines etched on her face, along with a hardness in her eyes. When her biological father died, that mermaid—the one who trusted unquestioningly and believed the best in everyone—had also.

In her place was a cynical mermaid with deep-rooted trust issues. A mermaid who'd seen—and done—appalling things, who now believed, until proven otherwise, that every single merman had a hidden agenda. I hated that mermaid. I hated that her actions, and those of others, had forced her to reevaluate her entire personality.

When I emerged from our suite, my eyes and face were expressionless. Whether Mom noticed the abrupt change in my demeanor or not, she didn't comment on it. Dad and Drew floated a few feet away from us, worry and concern in their eyes as they looked from Mom to me. No one said anything.

My heartbeat sped up as I met Dad's gaze, then my brother's, reminding myself over and over that I was safe with them, that neither of them would ever so much as think of harming me. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to," Mom said softly, halting inches from me. "No one would blame you if you stayed behind."

She was wrong, though. I would blame myself. Staying behind would mean Zander had won, that he'd succeeded in breaking me irreparably. I shook my head. "No. I want to do this." I let out a steady breath, firmly adding, "I need to do this."

The swim to Aegrem seemed to take forever, yet before I realized it, we'd reached the entrance. Despite my resolve, I found myself faltering, second-guessing my decision. As if guessing my thoughts, Mom reached for my hand and squeezed gently. "Take your time." The words were mirror images of those she'd said only hours earlier.

I held my head high and looked straight ahead as we swam through Aegrem, ignoring the curious glances and whispers thrown our way. When we reached the palace, the guards at the front doors bowed before opening them. As we approached their suite, I felt my breath hitch but didn't panic. Uncle Jay answered on the first knock, eyes filled with worry as he scanned my face.

Unbeknownst to me, Mom had contacted Aunt Izzy and Uncle Kai, who were also waiting inside the suite. Mom's grip tightened on my hand as the tremor shuddered through my body. Wordlessly, we swam inside, the door closing silently behind us. 

Uncle Jay's voice was quiet as he spoke, concern etched into each word. "Faye? Is everything okay?"

For a heartbeat, I froze as Uncle Jay's face morphed into Zander's. Zander's cruel smirk replaced the former's concerned frown, chilling my blood and stealing the water from my lungs. Suddenly, I was back in front of Aegrem's palace, frozen in place as Zander pulled out the Lost Soul Pendant, clutching it in his fist. His words floated through my head like a never-ending nightmare. "'You have two choices: you use your voice to end these mermaids' lives—the easy way—or I kill them slowly and painfully—the hard way.'"

Blinking rapidly, I pulled myself out of the memory, forcing myself back to the present. Reminding myself for the umpteenth time that each merman here loved me and would never even think of harming me. The love and worry in each of their gazes only reinforced that belief. This time, when I took a deep breath, no panic seized me.

"Zander Marshal ambushed me just before dawn yesterday morning, using the Siren Song to draw me out of my and Jonah's suite. At the time, I had no idea what he'd had in store for me, only that Waverly had nothing to do with it. I had no idea what to expect, so I was shocked when half a dozen mermaids appeared, filling me with apprehension and uneasiness. When I saw him interspersed between them, my heart stopped dead in my chest.

"He then pulled a dark blue pendant on a string from his jacket pocket." I watched each face as the words left my mouth, noting the varying reactions. "'You have two choices: you either end these mermaids' lives—the easy way—or I kill them slowly and painfully—the hard way.'"

I paused as emotion choked me. It took several minutes before I was able to speak again. "Zander had grinned as he approached me, running a hand down my cheek." I shuddered now as the memory resurfaced. "I'd known I was taking a significant risk, but I had no choice. I would have done anything to keep Waverly from getting mixed up with the Sirens.

"He didn't touch me besides binding my hands and running a hand down my cheek, but..." I trailed off, a shudder running through me as I forced myself to meet each merman's gaze, letting my unspoken words hang in the water. The subtext in them was painfully clear. Zander had managed to do what no one else had: he'd taken the last shred of trust I'd managed to cling to over the past few years and utterly destroyed it.

Later that night, I lay awake in bed, unable to close my eyes. Jonah slept in his usual chair beside our bed, calming yet unnerving. Despite my best efforts, exhaustion finally claimed me sometime around sunrise.

Read and review!