I didn't come out of our suite at all the next day. Or the next. I had indeed shut down, had retreated into myself. I had sunk back into that pit of nothingness, the undertow sucking me down before I could breathe. I didn't sleep. I hardly ate or drank and didn't speak to anyone.

Mom came in every so often with trays of bubble tea and shrimp, which, for the most part, went untouched on the table beside our bed. It was an effort to draw breath, never mind eat or drink.

Whenever I rallied myself and placed a piece of shrimp in my mouth or took a drink of tea, I imagined Raina's lifeless body and the eyes that would never open again—the mouth that would never smile or laugh again. That quickly took away any shred of an appetite.

I hadn't cried since before we'd found her. Where all those tears and anger and heartache had been... There was an empty hole in their place. Jonah always came in late at night when I was already asleep. Or so he thought. I hadn't slept since we'd found her. The lack of sleep was quickly taking its toll.

I was sluggish all the time now, my movements slow and clumsy. I felt permanently stuck in the "depression" stage of the grief process. It had even affected my appearance.

My hair hung limp on my shoulders, framing my hollow expression. I had been in the same dress for three days simply because I couldn't rally the energy to get out of bed. I spent my days watching the sun rise over the water, progress through the sky, and promptly set in the evening. On the morning of the third day, I heard a knock on the suite door.

I blinked, turning my head toward the sound. I wasn't sure I remembered how to smile—wondered if it had become as foreign as laughter. When the door opened and shut, I heard a soft voice. "Faye? It's Aunt Izzy."

My expression didn't so much as shift, nor did I open my mouth to respond. Curly black hair appeared in my vision first, followed by a face lined with concern. As Aunt Izzy swam inside, I immediately saw the bundle in her arms, the little fist poking out from beneath the blankets.

She silently swam into our bedroom, eyes scanning my face. Wordlessly, I gazed down at Elle, watching that tiny face scrunch up—that little fist clench—as she fussed in her sleep, then relax as she calmed down. We both stared at her daughter for several moments, a comfortable silence between us.

When she finally spoke, her voice broke. "Bella told us about Waverly. Honey, I'm so sorry." After a beat, she added, almost hesitantly, "And about Raina, too."

I waited several moments before trying to speak. Waited for me to feel something. Anything. "I don't sleep anymore. I haven't since..." My voice trailed off, my heart clenching as I swallowed hard. Aunt Izzy nodded at my unspoken words. "Every time I close my eyes, I see her."

My voice had no emotion whatsoever; it was empty and hollow. "It was my fault." Voicing those words felt like stabbing myself in the chest. "I should have anticipated this. After Waverly, I should have realized that Zander wouldn't stop. That he would keep going until he broke me irreparably. I just hadn't expected... this. I don't feel anything anymore. I forgot what it feels like to smile or laugh.

"I haven't gotten out of bed in three days. Mom comes in every so often with trays of shrimp and bubble tea, but it's an effort to even draw breath, never mind eat or drink. Whenever I rally myself to take a bite or a sip, I see Raina's face.

"I imagine her lifeless body, the eyes that will never open again—the mouth that will never smile or laugh again. That quickly takes away any shred of an appetite. I haven't cried since we found her. Where all those tears and anger and heartache were... There's an empty hole in their place now."

My chest was heaving, my lungs working overtime to pull in water and push it out. I knew that if I stopped trying to breathe, I wouldn't start again. Elle was silent in her mother's arms now, those big, beautiful eyes blinking as she looked from Aunt Izzy to me.

"There's a heaviness inside me... A nothingness. When we found Raina, my first thought was to find Waverly, and we could grieve together. Then I remembered our fight, the harsh words on both sides. I wish more than anything I could take them back."

I swallowed hard, sucking in a breath so sharp I nearly choked. "I don't want to feel like this. I hate what Zander did to me. I hate that he took away my sense of safety, of peace."

When Aunt Izzy spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. The tears forming in her eyes spilled down her cheeks as she exhaled. "When Mom finally told me how she died giving birth to me, I immediately blamed myself. I thought I didn't deserve to be here; I'd convinced myself that even though she'd lived, I had nearly been the cause of her death. Everyone in our family has felt what you're feeling now, Faye. And I wish I could take it away, sweetie.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed but also secretly terrified. I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if what happened to Mom happened to me. I remember nothing except waking up to Kai squeezing my hand."

She took a shaky breath, shuddering as she exhaled. "I'll never forget that look on his face. I'd never seen him so... terrified. When he told me what happened, I was heartbroken. But when I heard that loud wail..." She trailed off, fresh tears leaking down her cheeks as she again looked down at her daughter.

As if she sensed her mother's distress, Elle began to fuss, squirming in my aunt's arms. Aunt Izzy's voice broke. "I love her so much it physically hurts when we're apart. I've spent many a sleepless night relaying my fears and worries to Kai when we're alone, when everything comes crashing down again. I haven't even allowed anyone besides our immediate family to hold her because I don't trust them. I feel this fierce urge to protect her as Mom did me. She is my heart."

I hadn't expected the words to come out, but there they were, waiting on my tongue. "When did you finally feel comfortable around Uncle Kai? What made you finally realize that you could really and truly trust him?"

Her eyes took on a far-away look, and I knew she wasn't here anymore. I knew she was back in the past, reliving one of the most painful moments of her life. When she spoke, her voice was hollow. "When Kai's father passed, it was completely and totally unexpected. I can still remember him returning to our suite and seeing the hollowness in his eyes and the slump in his posture.

"He didn't say anything; he just swam into bed and cried. When I found out what had happened, I was furious and heartbroken. It sickened me that someone had that much hate in their heart to kill such a wonderful, kind, and innocent merman.

"In the following weeks, there was a shift in the palace. Everything was different. Hardly anyone smiled or laughed. A terrible, empty silence replaced the usual lively chatter in and around the palace. It took a while, but eventually, even Kai's mother realized she couldn't stay in that state of grief and heartbreak. It still hits her and Kai at odd times, but neither she nor Kai allowed it to break their spirit."

She blinked rapidly as she returned to the present, then took my hand, shifting Elle to the crook of her arm. "My point is, even though you may feel the loss of Waverly every single day like a physical wound, don't let it stop you from living your life. Focus on the good things that make it possible to get out of bed in the morning."

As if to echo her statement, a quiet knock sounded on our suite door. A deep, smooth voice spoke up from the other side. "Faye? It's Jonah."

Aunt Izzy squeezed my hand before quietly leaving the suite. I heard the door open, and her murmur a hello to Jonah, then the door shut behind him. He scanned my face when he swam into the bedroom. "What happened? Are you okay?"

For the first time since what happened with Waverly, the hollowness in my chest eased ever-so-slightly. It didn't disappear completely, but it eased enough that I could take a deep breath and exhale without that feeling of emptiness threatening to consume me. I knew that when Jonah looked at me, he saw my red-rimmed eyes and my tear-stained cheeks.

Instead of answering, I locked eyes with him, rose from the bed, and swam to him. I opened my arms, the gesture conveying what words couldn't. Without hesitation, he swam into my embrace, wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my shoulder. I decided right then that I would take Aunt Izzy's advice.

Focus on the good things that make it possible to get out of bed in the morning.

Jonah pressed a kiss to my cheek. "I know you're hurting. And I know you're healing. Whether that takes months or years, I want to be by your side for all of it."

That simple declaration—even after hearing the ugly particulars of the fight—comforted me more than any single embrace ever could. We stayed like that for the rest of the day, silently enjoying each other's company. For the first time in a long time, I fell asleep with a calm heart.

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