My journey to Christ was a long one. I really realized that I wanted Jesus to be apart of my life when I was in sixth grade. A lot had changed in my family and it all seemed like a war zone. Everyone had to be careful of another, making sure we didnt say anything that might have been slightly offensive in fear of a huge blow-up. I was eleven-years-old and I felt like I was constantly walking on pins and needles that entire summer. Things between my father adn I were strained adn that was mostly on my part but I was to young to understand what I fully wanted at that time. I had known that there was always a part of heart that felt like it was missing. But not until I became a counselour at Five Pines Ministries did I realize that missing piece was Christ.

I had grown up in the church. But for me it was like going through the motions every Sunday without the recognition of what going to church actually meant. Years go by and I still feel empty. I put myself into situations where a child should not be. I allow myself to do things that now I can't believe I did. In sith grade, domestic abuse entered my life. It threw everything that I had ever known out the drain. It screwed up my entire life. For months I felt even more worthless than I had ever felt before. It wasn't until my mother got a phone call, on my twelveth birthday allowing my dad to come home. My situation in this instincence was different than most. My father and I both knew that we had made a mistake all those months ago that led to the repercussions that we faced at that moment. But I had forgiven him, and I was on the long journey of forgiving myself.

When my mother received that phone call it was like a switch turned on and I realized that there was more to life than just myself. I remember my mom thanking God that he was going to be able to come home. After that moment, I started paying attention in church, I began to read my bible, diving into his word. But I was only twelve and opening that door was scary. So I fell back out of God's word. I began to retreat back into myself, allowing my trust to go awry. I read books filled with sinful nature, I watched shows that I shouldn't have been watching, I said unholy things.

Fast forward to freshman year of highschool. It was a time where I was introduced to the topics of drugs and sex. I was fifteen by the time I became a counselor at Five Pines. It was the first time where I was fully involved with a Christian Community. It was different, and I didn't know if I fully enjoyed it or not. But after counselor orientation and getting to work with campers for five weeks, I began to come to that realization again that I was missing something. This was where it really began to stick with me, I created a bible study for myself and stuck to it. I became involved in my Christian community. I helped in my kids ministries at my home church.

Everything was going great until sophomore year. I turned sixteen and thought that I could rule the world with God by my side. But I fell out of touch with his word. With the true meaning. Thats when I put myself into yet another compromising situation.

My entire life I have always struggled with who I have placed my trust in. I have begun to back away from trusting anyone at all. I have lived my life fearing who could hurt me next. Anxiety has always filled me but now it has begun to rule my life. So now, in 2024, I am challenging myself to dive deeper into trusting God and his plan for me.

I hope that people like me, in similar situations, can come to find that trusting God and his plan works miracles.