The air was thick with grief and sadness. No one could speak for the first few minutes.

I refused to believe it was real. That she was gone. Forever.

The others were talking, but I didn't care enough to tune in. Instead, I sat still on the edge of the dock, my legs dangling over the water. Thoughts of jumping into the water and letting myself go limp came to mind. I was too consumed to move, though.

Footsteps got closer to me and I felt someone stop right behind me. "She wanted me to tell you she was sorry." Clint's voice was rough, evidence of his grief.

His words made me close my eyes, and I leaned my head down more. Even when I thought I was out of tears, more crept through and followed the pre-existing tracks down my cheeks.

My chest shook with more sobs and I cried silently by the water.

Even though I didn't want to, I couldn't stop from listening to the way Clint and Thor argued. How the guardian of the stone said it couldn't be undone. The action was permanent. She was gone.

And suddenly I was consumed with rage.

My sobs stopped and my eyes opened at the realization. "She knew," I said, just loud enough to grab people's attention.

I stood quickly from where I was and turned to face the others, all already looking at me. "She knew!"

"Who knew?" Tony asked, his calm voice a harsh contrast to my anger.

"Nebula. She knew someone was going to have to be sacrificed for that stone, she knew that's how her sister was killed, and yet she didn't tell us a damn thing!" I yelled. The plates of my arm shifted and I tensed up.

My breaths were heavy and my chest heaved up and down. Tony took some careful steps toward me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Rey-"

"No!" I shoved him off and took a few steps to the side. "There's no excuse! There is absolutely no reason for her to not tell us. She knew this is how it would go down and she knew someone wasn't coming back!"

"And how was she supposed to tell us?" Tony asked. "That wouldn't have ended the mission."

"We would have known!" I practically screamed, but despite the anger that surrounded, I could feel myself start crying again. "And we wouldn't have been... blindsided by this... and maybe... maybe we could have figured something out... she could still be here..."

I broke back down into sobs and let Tony wrap his arms around me. Almost all of my body weight was being supported by him at this point. It shook with all the sobs I could no longer hold back.

Bruce threw a bench off the dock, and then turned to the group. "She's not coming back... we have to make it worth it. We have to."

"We will," Steve said, a new sort of determination in his voice.

I heard people moving, and then Tony carefully urged me. "Come on, let's go in and grab you some water, okay?" he offered, his voice low.

I nodded, and we walked back up and inside, Tony keeping one arm wrapped around my shoulders the whole way.

The scientists of the group gathered in Tony's lab to get the Iron Gauntlet set up and see if it would hold the stones. I only hoped they would be successful.

Until then, I hid myself away in Natasha's room. It was similar to mine in decoration: next to bare. This line of work didn't really call for a need to look like you actually lived in your own room.

In fact, this could have been anyone's room. I only knew it was hers because of the framed photos on her nightstand. There were two.

The first one I picked up was from a while ago. It was her and the other five original Avengers. It had been taken by someone else, by the looks of it Tony, and it was all of them together in the tower. They were in cocktail attire, and by the looks of it they were at a party. They all looked so genuinely happy together.

The second one was of us. During these last five years. She had taken this one, and it was a selfie of my reaction to watching Star Wars for the first time, and finding out Darth Vader was Luke's father. I was facing the screen, jaw dropped and mid-soda spill. Nat had the happiest grin on her face as she captured the moment.

It was one of the few times we had been genuinely happy since the Snap.

I think I'll keep that one.

The door creaked and I turned around to see Clint coming in. "Hey," he said, voice quiet and broken.

"Hey," I returned, my voice sounding about the same. I turned to the photos I had been looking at. "Just... reminiscing, I guess."

Clint walked over and picked up the one I wasn't holding, the party photo. I looked over at him and saw a sad smile on his face. "This was a good night. Just a couple hours later, Ultron went on the loose and we ended up destroying an entire country. But... well, the people in the photo didn't know that yet."

I smiled as he talked, laughing a little. "Seems like good times," I said, glancing down at the photo and then back up to him.

He nodded, and then looked at the one I was holding on to. "Looks nice," he said, and I looked down at it, too.

"It was. She had just shown me Star Wars. This is my reaction to finding out Darth Vader was Luke's father." I smiled and let out a small laugh as I reminisced. "She was so excited to have found out I hadn't seen any of those movies yet. Said I was one of the last people on the planet to not know the spoiler."

I took in a shaky breath as my vision started to get blurry once again. "I'm really gonna miss her," I said, words quiet and shaky.

Clint's hand found my shoulder and I heard him take in a shaky, deep breath as well. "Me too, kid. Me too..." I knew he wanted to be the one. The one to sacrifice himself. No matter what it felt like a lose-lose situation.

This wasn't an easy mission. It's never an easy mission.

I thought back to when Nat and I last talked. How she knew this line of work was never easy, never free of sacrifice. You did what you had to do to save lives. That's the job description for 'Avenger.'

Suddenly, I didn't think I could do it anymore. Not after losing this many people.

"You okay over there?" Clint asked.

I looked at him, then down to my hands that were white from gripping the photo. "I don't know if this is the job for me, Clint. I know saving people is the end goal, what we should all want. But I... I can't lose everybody I love in the process. And I'm already heading down that path it seems."

Clint's hand moved from my shoulder to the other one, puling me into a side hug. He still held the Avengers group photo in his other hand. "You have some good points, kid. I want to tell you more, tell you that the job is worth it, but... I don't know anymore. Haven't for five years. Nat... at first I thought I could go back. But now..."

Natasha never told me what Clint had been up to after the Snap, just that his family disappeared and he was nowhere to be found. The only evidence being the bodies left behind.

What I did know was that Natasha loved him, they were platonic soulmates. And I could see that Clint felt the same, especially with the way he took care in holding the photo. One of the few memories left of Nat.

I studied the one in my hands a bit more, taking in all the details of her face. The way her red hair was just starting to grow back in. How, despite the circles under her eyes, she still managed to look so happy in that moment.

Our silence was interrupted by FRIDAY. "Mr. Stark requests everyone in the lab. They've done it."

Clint and I shared a look, a melting pot of emotions between us. Despite what we felt, we still had one last job to finish.

After that, who knows.

A/n: I really loved writing this moment between Clint and Rey, it was really important for me to show how not everyone can keep going in the life of an Avenger. Y'all will just have to stick around to see what she does...