— GWYNETH —

I accidentally woke up a bit too early today, and I turn around sleepily in the covers; yet I know there's no going back to sleep.

I could never sleep under these circumstances - I'm really nervous for the meeting today - everything depends on me.

So I decide to pull myself out of bed and fold my duvet cover, heading to the bathroom to freshen up.

I go back to my desk and sit down, flipping the lid of my blue MacBook open. The calendar date pops up, as well as a notification I set for myself - "THE DAY".

I click into the calendar app. It's the fifteenth of September. Three months ago, just on the fifteenth of June, I left the first arena on that hovercraft, unaware of what my future would hold, bearing my new identity as a victor, filled with grief and pain at the loss of my friends.

I check the dates - September eleventh, Eunice's birthday; September fourth, Zoey's birthday; August twenty-seventh, Aiden's. As I scroll higher, I'm greeted with March thirtieth, Charlotte's; and April eighteenth, Nathan's.

I gulp. But some hidden force in me doesn't want to let me stop. I go higher; February twentieth, Kun's; December fourteenth, Laine's; the Hale siblings'; and everyone else's.

I then click open a new note in the Notes app, and let my fingers loose on the keyboard. Just like Cadence loves reading and drawing, I find my comfort in writing short stories. But today, no prose and poems are to be found in my document; instead, it's filled with typed letters. Letters to everyone.

"Dear Tristan,

I didn't know you that well except for sitting next to you in class, but I want you to know that I really admire you for your academic excellence and bravery; and likewise for Ava's wits.

You didn't deserve to die. I know saying this seems just like an open promise, but no. You were one of the only people who truly listened to me, and I'll never forget how you taught me how to do math when I was having trouble in class.

I'll try my best to get you back here. I know you won't ever have the chance to read this, but we all miss you. A lot. Especially Aiden.

Fly high, Trissy. I'll meet you soon - hopefully in a few days."

Another letter brings a smile to my face, but shortly after, it changes into a sad frown.

"Dear Laine,

We shared laughs and cries. You were one of my closest friends who I admired so much for your sense of logicality and weird humor - yet you were also one of the people who had extreme selflessness.

We could have survived together. You did so much in the arena for me, wanting to keep me safe, but Jake and your parents are waiting for you, Lainey. You didn't have to sacrifice yourself for me. Don't tell me it was your choice or you were already fed up. I left that arena within minutes.

I appreciate you so much, Laine, and will always honor your sacrifice. Thank you for always being here for me, even in spirit. See you soon."

I smile while reading everything. I wrote everything down - how I appreciate Eunice for adding craziness to my life; Nathan for being my biggest academic rival; Kunboss and Zoey for staying by my side since we were babies; Ava for helping me crack up with her ingenious ideas; but most of all...

"Dear Charlotte,

Things change. People change. I killed you, and you'll never be able to fully forgive me.

I killed you knowing you never had a choice. I killed you, knowing you still loved Nathan. I killed you just because I had to. And I killed Nathan too.

Underneath that, our bond is unmistakable and strong. We might have had arguments and yelled at each other; but they all got resolved at the end. Just pity that we all got thrown into the arena with no end.

I'll bring you back, Char. I'll bring you back and I'll tell you, I'm sorry for doing everything I did, and mean it.

Say hi to Nathan for me."

The tears come, yet I'm not ashamed. I scroll through all the unsent letters; all the untold stories and the messages I want to send. They'll never get there, but I want them to stay here so I can look back on them.

As tears flow down my cheeks, I smile. I've finally let go of everything. Wiping my tears away with a piece of tissue, I press the X on the screen and close the document.

I'm starting on a new slate now. I'll remember everything.. but I won't dwell on it anymore.