Part 1 Justified Anger

Gorakhpur

A boy in his sixteen years went to the playground as it was Sunday. There was a team of boys playing cricket already. One of the boys saw him and signalled another. They shared an evil smile.

"Hey, see, Sachin Tendulkar is here", one of them said.

The boy looked at him and approached the team captain, who smiled at him.

"Come on, ARNAV, you too join us," he said, giving the bat.

Taking it from him, Arnav walked to the pitch. The boy who called him Sachin Tendulkar was ready to bowl with a ball.

"Arnav, what's your initial?" He asked intentionally.

Boys around them chuckled at Arnav, who fisted his fingers.

"Do you know your father's name?" the same boy asked.

Arnav glared at him.

"Don't you know? Is it only you or even your MOTHER doesn't know who your father is?"

Arnav gritted his teeth and hit him with the bat. The bat hit his ears and the boy fell to the ground lifelessly. Arnav stood wrathfully because he didn't regret hitting the boy.

The police arrested Arnav and sent him to the REFORM school. His mother, Amrita, waited for him. He turned his face opposite to her.

"Arnav... ennia paru da (Arnav look at me)" she cried in TAMIL.

His mother always spoke to him in Tamil because Amrita's mother tongue was Tamil. Her family lived in Gorakhpur for generations.

His mother, Amrita, tried to meet him many times, but Arnav refused. He was not ready to meet the woman who caused his condition. Arnav completed his schooling in the reform school.

Even after his release from prison, he didn't want to meet his mother. He could not forgive her for hiding his father's name from him.

A jailer of the prison liked his character. He knew his case, and he justified his anger. The jailer enrolled him in a college and got him a part-time job in a Gorakhnath Ashram. He became the assistant to the Guruji of the Ashram. Arnav accepted the job even though he didn't trust in God because he had no choice. No one was ready to offer a job to the one who returned from the Reform school. So, he accepted the job. It helped Arnav to meet his expenses. Arnav completed his master's.

Gorakhnath Ashram

Arnav was watering plants in the Ashram. A man in his sixties came to him and said,

"Arnav... Jailer Shankar is here to meet you."

"Jee..." Arnav said, closing the tap and throwing the water pipe.

He knew why the Jailer wanted to see him. He had completed his Master's, so he would be there to offer him a job, Arnav supposed. He went to see the Jailer, Shankar, who was with the Guruji of the Ashram. Shankar smiled at him.

"Hello, sir, how are you?"

Shankar nodded his head slightly.

"Arnav, your mother wants to see you," Shankar said.

Arnav's facial expression changed.

"I'm not ready to meet her, sir. you, too, know that"

"Arnav, she is counting her days"

"You also said the same thing last time, sir. Tell her to stop acting," Arnav said furiously.

"No, Arnav. She is earnest and ready to tell you about your FATHER."

Arnav was stuck. He gulped down hard. He nodded his head from left to right.

"I won't believe this... how the woman who was not ready to tell me my father's name so far would tell that?"

"It's because she is at the end of her life. She wants to meet you for one last time. Please don't be stubborn, Arnav," Shankar pleaded.

"Arnav..." Guruji called his name softly.

Arnav looked at him tensely. If Guruji asked him to meet his mother, he could not deny it.

"I can understand you. You are right, too. I want you to be right ALWAYS. If you don't fulfil your mother's last wish, your heart will not let you be in peace. Go and meet her..."

Arnav could not deny Guruji's words because he respected him like anything. He not only sheltered him but also never spoke about his past life.

"Jee Guruji..." Arnav looked at Shankar.

"Thank you, Guruji. I'm taking Arnav with me."

Guruji nodded yes.

Shankar took Arnav to his house to meet his mother, who was in the death bed. Arnav saw his mother, Amrita, who was REALLY counting her last minutes. He slowly moved towards her and sat on the bed next to her.

"I'm sorry, Chotte..." She said weakly.

Arnav's eyes tear up even though he was angry with his mother.

"I'm sorry for the humiliation you faced because of me. Even though I have a reason, I know it will not be justified."

Amrita gestured to her sister something. She gave Arnav a folded paper. He took it from her questioningly.

"Didi wants me to give it to you. She wrote it two weeks ago," Amrita's sister said in Tamil.

Arnav opened it hurriedly and read it.

Dear Chotte,

I know SORRY is not enough for what I did to you. I betrayed you. Being your mother, I'm the one who should have stood for you, but I didn't. Because of me, you were insulted. I hid the truth about your father and put you on hellfire. I don't tell you his name, not because he is a bad person. It's because he is not responsible for our condition.

We studied together in Delhi. We loved each other. He said he had no one. He got a minor work in Gorakhpur. He married me and settled down with me in Gorakhpur. I conceived. That was when a troop of men came to our house. One of them was your grandfather... your father's father. Till then, I didn't know who REALLY your father was. He was not a SIMPLE person. He belonged to a ROYAL family. He hid the truth because he knew I would not accept him. They walloped both of us mercilessly. Yes, it was your grandfather's order. Throwing me in the Rapti river, they left, taking your father with them. Some people admitted me to the hospital. By God's grace, you were safe in my womb. I came back home and searched for your father's things. I found his address in his pocket diary. I was scared to go to his place because I knew they would kill me if they saw me again. So, I sent my cousin to his village. He went there and came with the heart-breaking news that he was married to another woman who was up to his standard. Your father concluded that I was dead. So, I decided to be the one. Not only because I wanted your father to be happy but also to save your life; they would not have left you alive if they had known about you. That's why I hid about your father. I know you would definitely like to meet your father. It will lead you to danger. I'm sorry for being a useless mother. I spoilt your life. Forgive me if you can.

Your unfortunate Mother

Amrita.

Arnav crushed the paper. Now, she also didn't tell him who his father was. He looked at his mother, whose eyes were stuck to his face. He slowly tapped her cheek.

"Ma..."

Her head slid. Arnav looked at her, horrified.

"It seems she was holding off on seeing her son for the last time," Someone said.

Arnav didn't know whether to cry for his mother or be angry for not telling him his father's name. He completed his mother's final rituals and went back to the Ashram.

Guruji came to Arnav and gave him a cover. Arnav looked at him questioningly.

"This is a job for your qualifications. You worked for me so far. It's enough. I want you to settle down in your life. Go to TAMILNADU and join the job."

"Tamil Nadu?" Arnav asked, frowning.

"Yes... that's the place you belong to. You may wonder why your life is so tough. You would be angry with your mother for keeping you in the dark. Don't be my child. Everything that happens in our life has its reason. I agree your path is harder. Some destinations need more effort to reach. Don't worry. You will forget everything in the upcoming days. Go to Tamil Nadu... you will get to know the reason for your life. Gorakhnath will be with you," he said, blessing him.

To be continued...