Chapter 6

“Do you like it?” Aaron was asking me, as I looked at myself in the mirror.

A week had gone by since he’d taken me swimming at the river and I’d slept over at his apartment. We had met every night since then- to study or to hang out.

Aaron hadn’t brought up the night when I didn’t show up, or how I had treated him the day after.

That night, he’d allowed me to pay for his pancakes. He didn’t act differently. If anything, he was happier than usual. For the rest of the nights though, there was a line in our relationship.

We would hang out, we would talk, but not once did he try to kiss me again.

Finally, I had allowed him to show me around “The Pent”. The Pent was really only a street that was flooded with stores on either side of it.

I had to admit that most of the stores were really cool. We’d only just entered the third store and I was already carrying a few shopping bags.

I hadn’t even remembered the last time I had gone shopping before today.

“I do, but I also like the blue one,” I replied.

Aaron handed me the blue scarf. I hadn’t been able to decide on which one I wanted.

“Just take them both,” Aaron told me, shrugging.

“Which one do you think looks better?” I asked, turning my body to face him.

“I like the green one, but the blue looks good too,” Aaron said, as he stood next to me.

He put his arm around my shoulder, pressing the side of my body to him. I continued to stare at the mirror. This time, I wasn’t looking at the scarf around my neck. I was looking at Aaron- and me. I loved how we looked next to each other.

Aaron had a playful smile on his lips. He was looking at me, and it didn’t escape me how happy his eyes looked.

“Either one looks great on you,” he said again.

I assumed he thought I was thinking over which scarf to pick.

I turned up to look at Aaron, my body shifting so that I was now standing directly in front of him.

I wasn’t sure why I did it, but I wrapped my arms around his neck, and I brought his lips down on mine. The moment our lips made contact, it was like something inside of me exploded. I couldn’t describe what I was feeling, or how good his lips felt pressed against mine.

It took Aaron a moment to react to what I was doing. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and took over the kiss.

Our lips were moving in sync, almost teasing each other to see who was more dominant. I felt him pull away, only to lightly bite my lower lip. I pressed myself closer against his body, not wanting the moment to end.

It did, however, and it was by something unexpected.

Aaron pulled away from me.

“We can’t do this,” he said breathlessly, as he pressed his forehead against mine. I could feel his uneven breathing blowing softly over my face.

He was much taller than me, so he’d been leaning down and was practically carrying all my weight with his arms around me.

I didn’t say anything after he made that comment. I couldn’t. I had pushed him away before, so it was only fair that he did the same thing to me now.

“Alright,” I told him, as I untangled myself from his arms. He tightened his hold around my waist, but when I gave him a light shove, he let me go. I looked at him once more, before walking away.

I walked to the other side of the store and pretended to look at the accessories they had.

It wasn’t long before Aaron made his way toward me.

“Are you going to buy the scarves?” Aaron asked, holding both of them out for me.

I shook my head, and continued looking at the different pairs of earrings.

I wasn’t sure what to do next. I had gotten to The Pent with Aaron. He had driven me here, and I still wasn’t sure how to use the metro system in order to get back home.

Now, I felt uncomfortable because of the awkward situation I had created by kissing him.

I hadn’t noticed that Aaron had left. When he came back, he was carrying a small brown bag, with the store’s logo on it.

“Both looked really good on you,” he said, before nodding toward the door.

The moment we were outside, Aaron started walking back to where we’d come from. I wasn’t sure why he was going to that side of the street, but I followed him either way.

It wasn’t until the parking garage came into view, when I realized he was cutting out trip short. I followed after him in silence. He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk, so I remained quiet as well.

His hands were in his jean pockets, and he was walking casually. Even his expression was serene.

I thought back to the two short weeks I had known him. Not once had I ever seen him mad before. If he was mad right now- which it looked like he was- I couldn’t tell.

Once we made it back to his black sleek car, he stood on the passenger side- opening the door for me. He couldn’t be too mad if he was still being a gentleman.

I didn’t know what it was that made me do it, but once again, I found myself kissing Aaron. This time, I pushed him next to the car, getting on my tip toes so that I had better access.

At first, he seemed hesitant to respond to the kiss. He wasn’t leaning down, which was making it harder. He was almost a foot taller than me.

I didn’t pull away though. I pressed my lips against his with more force, as I wrapped one of my arms around his neck. I softly interlaced my other hand through his hair.

Something I had done had apparently worked, because Aaron placed his hands against my waist- digging his fingers into my covered skin. He lowered himself down, making it easier for me to reach him.

When he kissed me this time, his lips moved roughly against mine. It felt like he was really into the kiss, or he was still ticked off about something. From how he’d been behaving after I kissed him the first time, I was going for the latter.

It didn’t matter. I was never one to do something impulsive- especially if it was something like going around kissing people. Now, here I was- making out with Aaron in the dark, barely lit parking garage.

The moment when I felt him bite my lower lip, I thought he would pull away and tell me he didn’t want this. I was surprised when his tongue slipped into my mouth.

I was the one who pulled away from him this time. I was out of breath and flustered. I also didn’t know what I was going to tell Aaron.

I had my hands around Aaron’s neck, and his hands were still on my waist. But, he wasn’t holding me as tight anymore.

“Why did you kiss me?” Aaron asked with a husky voice.

He was looking at me with a serious expression. It was one of the very few times I’d even seen him serious about something. The other time must’ve been last week when I told him I wasn’t going to the diner that night.

“I-” was all I managed to say.

I didn’t have an explanation. Heck, I couldn’t explain it to myself. When I kissed him at the store, it just- felt right. But, he pushed me away. Right now, I didn’t want him to get away from me. I wanted to know he was there. Kissing Aaron- it made something inside of me feel happier than I had felt in a long time.

“You can’t even tell me why you did it, but you still did it a second time,” he said, letting out a dark chuckle.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked him.

My voice sounded shaky, and I was sure there was a light tremble in my hands.

Aaron sighed loudly, leaning himself more on his car.

“I don’t want us to have this relationship,” he said, motioning between us.

A single tear left my eyes and I quickly wiped it away.

“You don’t want to us to be friends anymore?” I asked him.

He shook his head.

I felt my heart drop the moment that he did that. I stopped breathing for a couple of seconds, wondering if I’d actually seen him shake his head at my question.

“I want to be more than your friend. But I don’t want you to think that we’re going to be kissing or making out if we’re just friends. I want you, I’m pretty sure I’ve made that clear enough since the moment I saw you,” he said, outstretching his arms for me to go to him.

I was always aware that Aaron was really smart. It didn’t take a genius to realize Aaron was just that- a genius. But out of all the conversations I’d had with him- he was never really serious.

He was always playing around, or teasing me, or tutoring me- while slightly making fun of me. Never had he said something as serious as the words he had just said to me.

I closed the distance between us, and let him hold me. He smelled really nice, and it was already making me feel better.

“So you still want us to be friends?” I asked him, looking up from his chest.

He shook his head, which I thought meant he didn’t want us to hang out anymore.

“If we’re going to be friends, then I don’t think we should be kissing.”

I stayed quiet after he said that. It was true. It was wrong for me to kiss him, not only once, but twice. How could I explain to him that I did want to be more than friends, but I couldn’t?

As I rested my head on his chest, the only things that came to my mind were images of Matt.

I thought Aaron might still be a little mad. When he turned toward his apartment complex, I knew I was forgiven. After shopping at The Pent, we were going to watch movies and order in a pizza. It was Saturday, and Aaron had decided we needed a break from the diner food.

I didn’t really mind the diner’s food. Breakfast had always been my favorite meal. Having breakfast every night easily put a smile on my face.

On the way to the apartment, I figured I should start making it up to Aaron. He was right. If I wasn’t going to date him, I shouldn’t be kissing him.

It made me happy though, that he had told me he wanted me.

I was carrying a few of the lighter shopping bags. We hadn’t really gone through many stores, but we still managed to buy quite a few things. Aaron was carrying most of them and my duffel bag.

“What do you want to watch?” He asked me, as he flipped on the plasma TV in the living room.

“A funny movie,” I told him, as I grabbed my shorts and tank top from the duffel bag. We weren’t going to leave the apartment for the rest of the day, so I figured I’d change.

“Ok, just give me a minute to order the pizza,” he said, as he walked toward the kitchen area.

I took that moment to make my way to his room. Everything looked the same as it did last time. His laptop was on top of his desk, and there were papers scattered all over the place. His bed was made, but there were some books over it.

I changed into the shorts, and was now wondering if maybe I’d picked out a pair that was much too short. Now that I’d had two episodes with Aaron where I’d basically attacked him, I didn’t want him to think my short shorts were something I’d done on purpose.

There was nothing I could do either way. They were the only ones I had brought.

When I slipped on the tank top, things just felt worse. The tank top felt much too tight, and I was scared it was showing too much of my breasts.

I voted on leaving my hair down, in the hopes that it would make my outfit look less revealing. Any other night, I wouldn’t have minded. I was wearing regular sleeping attire. After what had happened earlier today, I wasn’t sure if Aaron would agree with me.

I came out of the restroom, and headed for the living room.

Aaron wasn’t there, so I took a seat on the couch in front of the TV. There were some snacks on the coffee table, which Aaron had probably taken out for the movie.

He walked out of the kitchen area with a bowl filled with popcorn and some cokes. I stood up from the couch, to take some of the things he was carrying.

“Do you think-” Aaron began saying, before his eyes landed on me.

His gaze slowly looked from my face, down to my body.

“Do you need help?” I asked him.

I was sure my face was red, because it was feeling very warm.

“No, I ordered the pizza,” Aaron said, clearing his throat once.

“It should be here soon,” he finished saying.

A knock on the door snapped both of us out of it. Him, from probably thinking I was doing this on purpose. Me, from the embarrassment I was feeling.

Aaron made his way to the door, which was visible from where I was at.

“Hey! I finished season three and four. I came to drop them off,” I heard a girl say.

“Oh, cool. Did you like them?” Aaron asked whoever was at the door.

The girl chuckled, and I was wishing I could see Aaron’s reaction to that.

When I walked closer to the door, Aaron opened it up more to let the girl in.

“Carrie, this is Annabel. Annabel, this is Carrie, my neighbor,” Aaron said, introducing us.

“Hey,” she said to me, outstretching her hand.

I shook her hand, and gave her a small wave.

“Did you want to burrow season five? That’s as far as it goes for now though,” Aaron told Carrie.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks Aaron,” she told him.

I couldn’t help but stare at the overly excited brunette girl. She kept giving Aaron glowing smiles and grins. As much as I was trying not to let it get to me, it did.

“Let me go get it,” Aaron said, as he walked away toward his room.

I stayed next to the door, with Carrie standing a few feet away from me.

“I didn’t know Aaron had a girlfriend,” Carrie said, giving me a once over.

I had done the same thing to her, so it wasn’t like I could complain. Instead of correcting her, I decided to go along with it.

“He does,” I replied.

“It figures he’d go out with you,” she said. I wasn’t sure how to take her comment.

“I think it’s a guy thing to go for the blonde. What’s your major?” She continued.

I was now hoping Aaron would return because it was getting a bit uncomfortable with Carrie.

“I’m still undeclared,” I replied, my voice sounding strained as I spoke.

“Yup, it’s a guy thing. They say most of the below average thinkers go for undeclared, or liberal arts. The smartest guy I know dating a girl who doesn’t know what to study? I think we really know why he’s with you,” she told me, looking me up and down.

I was about to say something, when Aaron came back with a DVD box in his hands.

“Here it is. I wasn’t sure where I’d left this one,” he said, handing her the DVD.

Aaron had already cleared boundaries with me after I kissed him the second time. Part of me wanted to jump in his arms and kiss him again. The brunette girl was now back to smiling at Aaron and I really wanted to show her up.

But, it felt wrong to do it by playing with Aaron’s feelings. So, I settled for the next best thing.

While Carrie began telling him something that she’d seen in one of the episodes, I pressed myself to Aaron’s side. Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around my waist, as he listened to Carrie’s story.

“We should get the move started,” I told Aaron, as I interrupted Carrie’s story. I gave him my best smile and even attempted to pout my lip. It was childish, but it worked.

“You’re right,” Aaron replied.

“Oh, you guys are going to watch a movie?” Carrie asked, taking another step into Aaron’s apartment.

“Yeah, I was just setting everything up,” Aaron told her.

“That sounds like fun. Most of my friends left to visit their parents for the weekend, so I have been alone all Saturday,” Carrie said.

I wanted him so bad to know what Carrie had just told me, but it seemed too problematic. As much as her comments had bothered me, drama was the last thing I wanted. I myself was creating enough drama and problems to my life as it was.

“That sucks. I hope you can find something to do for the rest of the night,” I told her. I removed myself from Aaron’s arms and began closing the door.

It wasn’t hard to push Carrie out, because she wasn’t expecting me close the door in her face.

Once I had the door closed, I rested my back on it. I was sure that Carrie was still on the other side.

I smiled to myself, but when I looked up at Aaron, he was frowning at me.

“Why did you just do that?” He asked, trying to get me to move away from the door.

I didn’t have an answer.

“Annabel, you just shoved my neighbor out of my apartment,” he said.

I wasn’t moving from the door. The more he tried to get me to move, the more I pressed myself against it.

If he really wanted to, I was sure he could get the door opened.

There was a loud knock on the door that made me jump away from it. Aaron took the opportunity to open the door.

I thought it would be Carrie, who was probably going to say something about what I had just done. Instead, the delivery guy was standing there with our pizza in hand.

I was sitting on the couch, and Aaron was staring at me. He had his arms crossed and was waiting me to say something.

“I’m sorry,” I told him, as I looked down at my hands.

“For shoving out Carrie or for being rude?” He asked me, cocking an eyebrow.

He looked serious, but he didn’t look angry.

“We should watch the movie before the pizza gets cold,” I told him, as I opened the pizza box.

It was still hot, and the melted cheese was making my mouth water.

“Annabel, I don’t understand you sometimes,” he sighed, as he came to sit next to me.

I didn’t say anything back. Aaron began scrolling through the list of movies. Once I pointed to the one I wanted, he chose it without arguing with me.

It was another thing that made me like him that much more. Matt and I hardly ever fought. I was always really calm with him. Whenever we did fight, things would escalate because I would just snap. It didn’t help that at times Matt had a short temper.

But if he got mad at something I did, he wouldn’t hang around and forget about it the next second.

Once the movie started, Aaron also grabbed a slice of pizza and we settled in to watch the movie.

When the movie was over, it was still light outside. I checked my phone and noticed it wasn’t even seven yet.

“Do you want to watch another movie?” Aaron asked me, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

“It’s still really early, so yes,” I replied.

He smiled at me, his eyes lingering on me for a second. I didn’t look away from him until he did.

“While I set up the next movie you can tell me why you kicked out my neighbor,” Aaron suggested.

I sighed, and rested my head on the pillow that was over my legs.

“She said something mean. But, I’m not going to say anything bad about your neighbors, so I’m going to leave it at that,” I said, trying to be stern.

“What did she say?” Aaron asked.

“I’m not telling,” I replied.

“C’mon, just tell me what she said.”

“Nope, I told you I’m not telling. But she’s not a very nice person.”

“Tell me,” Aaron said, purposely giving me puppy eyes so that I would break.

“Why? Besides, what if you don’t believe me? I’m just going to feel guilty.”

“I’ll believe whatever you tell me. Even if it’s something really crazy and there is no way its true- I’ll believe you,” he said, grinning at me.

He was joking, and his playful tone showed it. But what he said still meant a lot to me.

“I guess, maybe it wasn’t so bad. I probably overreacted,” I told him.

“You overreacted with what? Tell me what it is.”

“She basically called me stupid,” I told him.

Telling Aaron that his neighbor had called me stupid was the worst thing I could do. Aaron tutored me in Calculus, and anything else I needed help in. He knew how horrible I was with some subjects. It just made me feel worse.

“But you’re not. Why did the topic come up anyways?” Aaron asked, looking like he didn’t believe me.

“She said that it figures you were dating someone like me, because I’m ‘blonde’.” I put air quotes around the word blonde, because I knew the girl was being stereotypical with that comment.

“Why would she think we were dating?”

He didn’t look mad when he asked that, but he was raising an eyebrow. I knew there was no way I would get out of answering that one.

“I might have implied something,” I told him, suddenly finding interest in the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

I grabbed it and began eating some, as I stared at the TV with the movie options.

“I really don’t understand you sometimes,” Aaron said, adding a small chuckle to his words.

“Carrie’s a nice girl. A little uptight, but she’s not that bad. I don’t know why she would say something like that,” he said, as he continued scanning through the movies.

“Well, apparently you’re the smartest guy she knows. And, I’m just a dumb blonde who hasn’t picked out her major- but might end up in liberal arts,” I told him, thinking back to her words.

Aaron put the control down, and turned to stare at me.

Out of nowhere he started laughing, like if I’d said a really funny joke. All I had really done was complain about his neighbor.

I stared at him until he calmed down, which took a few minutes.

“One of my friends, Ronnie, used to date Carrie a few months back. He dumped her for a blonde girl who’s studying philosophy. In Ronnie’s defense, everything was a competition with Carrie. She’s averagely smart, but she tries really hard. Ronnie got sick of all the competition Carrie put in their relationship. He didn’t cheat on her or anything. But he did leave her, and he started dating Jess a few weeks later,” Aaron explained.

“Oh,” I said, thinking over Aaron’s words.

“She’s had a thing against any girl who isn’t in a Science major- especially if she’s blonde,” Aaron said, laughing once again.

“I’m sorry if she said anything. Don’t listen to her. Most of her friends don’t,” Aaron said, shrugging.

He let out another chuckle. When he shook his head, it made his black hair settle in differently. I ran my hands through it, loving how soft it felt. I liked the skater boy look he had.

“I think she likes you,” I told him.

I should have let it go, but I couldn’t.

“Carrie?” Aaron asked.

I nodded as a reply.

“I hope not. But it doesn’t matter. One, I’m already in love with another girl. Two, there’s no way I’d ever date her. Three, she went out with my one of my friends. I respect the bro code,” he said, grinning at me.

In that moment, the movie that Aaron chose began playing on the screen.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his chest.

I could only think back to what he’d just said.

‘I’m already in love with another girl.’

I was sure that other girl was me. A part of me was excitedly celebrating that he’d just said that. My other half- the one that had pushed people away for so many months after Matt had died- was scared of the new feelings I was developing for Aaron. 

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