Chapter 19

“What’s wrong with eating pancakes with ice cream?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it. Except of course, that you already ate two cups of ice cream while you waited for the pancakes to arrive,” I replied to Aaron.

“So the problem is….”

“That you’re going to get a sugar rush,” I flatly stated.

It was strange, we both thought so, but ever since the accident, Aaron’s sleeping habits had gotten a lot better.

He claimed something in his head must’ve shaken him up, and imaginarily fixed his insomnia. I knew the real reason though. Ever since the accident, where people had died or been severely injured, his family wasn’t as dysfunctional anymore.

We only had finals left before the semester was over. In the past two months, we had been over to his house about five or six times. His parents didn’t suddenly turn into the perfect family, but it was obvious they were trying hard to be better.

His mom would criticize Jordan less. That was something Jordan enjoyed more than he should. It wasn’t because he cared, at least he pretended like he didn’t, but he made fun of Aaron saying that their mom now liked him best.

Aaron’s dad was less harsh with him as well. He still had his doubts on Aaron’s career choice. About two weeks after the accident, Aaron told me his father wanted him to go into Business instead of Computer Science.

Their company, which was doing really great, needed a CEO after Aaron’s father retired. There was still time before that happened, but his father wanted some assurance that one of his sons would take over for him.

Aaron promised his father he’d try harder, or at least be more involved with the company. So far though, he seemed just fine with letting Jordan run things.

The problem with that though was that Jordan wasn’t interested in the ‘big family company thingy’, as he so often called it.  Jordan was interested in his band and in anything that dealt with music.

It was still a long road for them, but I was sure sooner or later they would have to sit and talk, and really clear things up.

“Annabel,” Aaron said, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I grinned at him when I saw him roll his eyes at me.

“Were you by any chance thinking about my proposition?” Aaron asked me, completely changing the subject from the sugar rush I’d have to put up with as soon as we left the diner.

“I’m not sure I can do it,” I replied.

“Oh come on, it’s just a summer. I’m sure your parents won’t mind,” he said, but I knew they would.

Aaron wanted for me to stay behind in the summer. He planned for us to spend half of the summer with his family, which just meant we were staying in his apartment, and the second half would be spent with my family.

Aaron told me that last year, before we met, he stayed as busy as he could and as far away from his family as possible. He took summer classes, which he didn’t want to do this year, now that we were together.

My parents would go for the idea if I’d been taking summer classes, but I wasn’t. All Aaron wanted to do was take a break, which was fine, if only my parents bought that.

“They’ll mind. My parents are really over protective. You saw how they got after this accident. Heck, my mom wants me to call her whenever I get into a car,” I said.

My words only made Aaron laugh.

“You’re mom’s just paranoid.”

“She is and that isn’t going to help. Not like she’s going to admit that she is paranoid.”

“What if I talk to her?”

“You’re not going to.”

“I can,” Aaron offered. “I know she really likes me,” he said, with a light chuckle.

“No, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Besides, I have plans,” I told him, giving him a grin.

“You have plans…” Aaron said, waiting for me to continue.

“I’m not telling you,” I teased him.

I didn’t want to tell him either way. I had been talking with Jeremy the last few days. He was planning something for me, a few of Matt’s closest friends, and him. That day when Jeremy called me, he reminded me it was almost one year since Matt’s death.

Time had passed by fast, but it had been good to me. I had found Aaron.

A few days after the accident, Aaron and I had had a heart to heart on Matt and came to one conclusion: Aaron was going to be jealous of every single guy because that was just how he was.

Although that day he told me, “I get jealous because that’s how much I love you.” It made me both laugh and roll my eyes at him. It was the explanation he had given me after I told him over and over again that Matt was my past.

“Well, what if we spend the first half of vacations at yours and then come over here for the second half?”

“Why don’t you just spend the summer vacation with me?” I simply asked.

Aaron groaned, and he put his head down, hitting his forehead on the top of the table in the process.

“I have to hang out with my mom at least twice a month,” he said, not sounding too happy about it.

“You’re so mean,” I told him, although I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. His mom wasn’t my greatest fan, but I had to admit that she really loved Aaron.

“Yeah you say that, yet every time we go to my parents’ house, you always want to leave.”

“I do not!” I said, louder than I probably should have.

“You pretend like you want to be there, but you really don’t,” Aaron flatly stated, like if there was no point in me saying otherwise.

“Your mom is still a bit intimidating,” I muttered.

Aaron’s mom had eased up on Jordan, but she wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of sharing her son with me.

“She’ll grow on you,” Aaron said, before leaning over the table and pecking me on the lips.

It was just enough to tease me, but he pulled away before I could deepen the kiss. He’d been getting the habit of doing that, because he knew it bothered me when he pulled away.

“Kiss me,” I playfully ordered him.

“Bossy Annabel, hmm... I like it,” Aaron said, smiling at me teasingly, before leaning in to kiss me once again.

Two weeks later….

“Are you finished packing?” Aaron asked me through the phone.

“I am, but I was checking all the cabinets,” I replied.

Things were moving fast. I could feel it, but I wasn’t sure if Aaron cared about it. The day I asked my mom and dad about Aaron’s idea for our summer plans, they hadn’t exactly minded. They’d been on board with it. A part of me had actually been prepared for them to reject the idea.

“Alight, I’m on my way right now.”

“Ok, I should be ready by then.”

“I love you, Annabel,” Aaron said in a sing song voice.

I laughed and gave him a short, “love you,” back before ending the call.

Since I was staying with Aaron, we were going to share an apartment. It was more like we were making it official we were sharing an apartment, because we’d already been sleeping at each other’s place way before these plans had been made.

Now that finals were finished, it was just a matter of waiting for our grades and then the semester was finally over. I couldn’t even believe I’d made it through the semester. My hardest class, which had been Calculus, I’d practically passed because of Aaron.

He had helped me out so much, and had reviewed with me for hours before my final. I almost felt like I was cheating, because Aaron knew so much more than the professor was teaching us in class.

I was losing myself in thought once again, when I felt my phone vibrating in my hand.

I thought it would be Aaron, who had forgotten to tell me something, or wanted to hurry me up. I was more than surprised when Jeremy’s name popped up in my screen.

“Hello?” I answered.

I was aware that it was him, but I couldn’t shake off the surprise. We’d been talking more through the phone and emailing each other, but I usually knew when to expect his call.

“Annabel,” Jeremy said.

The way his voice sounded so serious, it made a shiver run through my body.

“Is something wrong?” I asked him.

Lately, I felt like bad news was just following me around.

“Well, something’s happening.”

“What is it?” I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with you, it’s just. I feel like you should know,” he said.

“Just tell me. I’m already imagining the worse.”

“Do you remember that I told you Liza was staying with her grandmother, Sam’s mom?” Jeremy asked.

At the mention of Liza, Matt’s little girl, I got that strange pang in my chest that always came along whenever I thought about how long that secret was kept hidden from me.

“I remember,” I said.

My voice sounded a lot lower than it did when I answered the call.

“Her grandmother passed away four days ago,” Jeremy said, without beating around the bush.

I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting him to say, but it definitely wasn’t that.

“Okay…” I mumbled.

“I just thought this was something you would want to know. Sam called me yesterday. She said the government’s taking Liza into the system.”

“Why doesn’t Sam keep her?”

“She can’t, or so she says. She doesn’t have a job, and she can’t keep one. She’s not going to school. Basically, she was living off her mother. Now that that’s gone, and Matt isn’t around…” Jeremy said, letting the sentence hang.

“Why are you calling me about this?” I suddenly felt defensive, and the way Jeremy was talking was making it worse.

“Liza is Matt’s little girl. I’m not trying to add any pressure on you. Hell, you’re probably the one from all of us that deserves a break. It’s just that…” Jeremy didn’t have to say anything else for me to guess what he wanted me to do.

“You want me to take Liza?” I asked.

“I would take her if I could, but I doubt they’d hand her over to me,” he said.

It sounded like if he had really thought things through and that only made me want to consider his words. But at the same time, thinking about taking a little girl, it was a huge responsibility.

“They won’t hand her over to me either,” I said after a few moments of silence.

“You’ll make a hell of a better case than I could, but I think they will let you take her. Sam doesn’t want her, Annie. If you don’t take her, she’s going into the system. You know how most kids grow up there.”

“You do realize what you’re asking me to do, don’t you?” I asked.

I felt like I was accusing him, for putting me in that position, but I knew it wasn’t really Jeremy’s fault.

“I’m not asking you anything. I’m telling you what’s happening with Liza, and what might happen if we don’t do anything.”

“It sounds like I’m going to be the one who has to do anything,” I snapped unintentionally.

The more we talked about it, the more I started to freak out.

“If you don’t want Liza with you at least fight for her. I’ll take her off your hands after that.”

I could feel my eyes tearing up, my vision was getting blurry. I suddenly felt like getting into my bed to cuddle with my pillow and bawl my eyes out.

“I don’t think I can do it,” I replied, honestly.

“You can,” Jeremy told me softly.

“You don’t know that.”

“She’s Matt’s baby girl,” he insisted.

“I know she is, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to do it.”

“You can, because Matt is her dad. I know you Annie, you can do it, and you’ll be good at it. That is, if you decide you want to do it.”

Aaron had a huge grin plastered on his face when he arrived at my apartment.

Now I wasn’t only feeling emotional because I was moving out and leaving the place, but I hadn’t stopped thinking about Jeremy’s words.

Aaron’s grin was wiped clean when he saw me, sitting on the couch, holding on to Matt’s journal. I hadn’t grabbed Matt’s journal in so long. It had just sat there in the white box, along with all of his other stuff.

“Something’s wrong,” Aaron carefully said, but he didn’t try to approach me.

When he didn’t come to me, I got up from the couch and ran to his arms.

Being with him, smelling his intoxicating scent was enough to calm my mind. My thoughts took a break, and I allowed myself to relax.

Aaron seemed surprised that I threw myself at him, but he quickly recovered and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“What happened?” Aaron asked, running one of his hands soothingly on my back.

I didn’t reply. I just nestled my head against his neck, and pressed myself even closer to him.

When I did this, Aaron just wrapped his arms tighter against me, practically carrying most of my weight in his arms.

“You love me?” I asked Aaron.

Aaron chuckled at my words. I’d probably surprised him with the question.

“More than anything,” he said.

I knew it was true. We had only known each other and started dating a few months back, yet we had gotten so close during that time, it was almost surreal.

“I love you too,” I said, finally pulling away from him.

I had only moved away from him for a second or two and I found myself missing the warmth of his embrace.

“Jeremy called me.”

“Oh?” Aaron said, cocking an eyebrow.

“I just need to know that you really love me.”

“Well, I love you,” Aaron said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

He pecked my lips, and chuckled when I moved closer to deepen the kiss.

“Longer?” He asked, teasing me.

I nodded at him, before getting on my toes to reach him. I could feel the smile on his lips, as he pressed them against mine. The kiss started slow, sweet. I felt his lips move against mine gently, while his hands soothingly molded against my waist.

“I love you,” he whispered against my lips.

“I love you back,” I told him.

I threaded my hands in his hair, one of my favorite things about him, and pulled him closer to me.  This time, our kiss was more intense. His tongue slipped in my mouth and massaged mine, while his hand started rising higher on my waist, stopping just below my breast.

I stopped his hand before it got up any further, and chuckled when he groaned.

“Sorry,” I said in between giggles. “You are a great distraction, but right now we have to talk,” I said.

Aaron must’ve sensed that something big was coming, because he sobered up, although he kept looking down at my lips.

“Alright,” he sighed. “What’s up?”

“Jeremy called to tell me something important, and, I’m,” I said, stopping to take a few moments.

“You are…” Aaron prompted.

“It’s really unfair of me to ask you this, but if you love me like I think you do, I am hoping you stay with me after I do this,” I told him.

Aaron scrunched up his eyebrows, but I couldn’t tell what exactly was running through his mind.

“I might be starting to have an internal freak out right now. Should I?”

I shook my head at him, and offered him a smile. I took the distraction to pull myself away from him. It was too distracting to have his warm hands pressed against my waist.

“No, but it’s selfish of me to ask you this. I just want to know if you’ll be with me, no matter what.”

I knew I was being unfair by having him make promises while I was being so vague. I just wanted to have some sort of comfort that Aaron wouldn’t run for the hills once I told him everything.

“Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to get far away from you. Don’t you know how much I love you, Annabel?”

Aaron didn’t give me a chance to reply. He closed the distance I’d created between us and crashed his lips against mine. Any doubts I might have had before, went out the window with that kiss.

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