Ok back to this. I don't really know what I was gonna write before but this is it.

Look at my new school I've obviously been nervous. Very anxious.

There are a few reasons including being bullied etc.

But the main one is chocolate.

As you know, we were friends, texted each other a lotttt.

And I relied on him and he was always there and I was always there for him.

Then he ghosted me.

About a month later school starts again

(AN: ok I haven't like been in and writing abt this for a bit but I'll try to kick off from here...)

And I WANT to start a conversation. To say hi again. To hear him say my name, to listen to him. To stop wondering if he's okay and run up and hug him and just fall into him and never let go...

(In a platonic way ok)

Anyways. I didn't.

It's week five.

So far there's been no conversation. I had to sit next to me a few times because he got moved there for mucking around in class.

I could've talked to him there.

But me being there just sat there.

Froze even.

I've had many opportunities but haven't done it. That's just me.

I'm afraid.

I mean he's said thank you to me when I passed him the worksheet and what not. He didn't look me in the eyes, but I didn't look him in the eyes either.

Thai guy was being really annoying  and did this thing on to make me freeze in horror as the class watched. Then chocolate said
"_______ don't be a retard." Of course he got sent out of the room but it was kinda sweet.

I've looked over and seen him staring at me but he could've just been zoning out. I do that a lot.

He hasn't change. Not really. Sure new haircut, gotten a bit taller, getting a bit more matured. Deeper voice. But mentally and emotionally he's still teh same old chocolate who I talked to in sixth grade whirl we detached a robot we'd made together.

He's still the person I'd trust with my life.

Earlier today I was wondering if maybe it's better for him to be away.

I'm mentally unstable and slightly crazy.

He doesn't need to be dragged down to my level.

I mean I miss him like crazy. I still stare at my phone waiting for a notification from him. But it's for the best.

He deserves better.

I see the way he looks at one of the girls in our class. At least I think I do. They'd probably be a god couple, then she'd break up with him like the b!tch she is.

And he's be hurt.

I hope he's not hurt.

I worry about him. What if he's not okay.

Even if he doesn't want to talk to me again, I need to tell him that if he ever needs someone who can keep a secret and won't pry or pressure him. Just someone to listen or give advice, I'm here.

Ya know I've seen his new friends. There actually nice. Quirky and annoying and can be stupid but good friends.

Honestly one reminds me of one of the dogs from bluey. Can't tell which one yet... but it's one of them.

Anyway thank you for reading if you did.

Yours heartbrokenly (jk I'm fineee),
-Violet.