Hello hello everyone I'm back with another chapter!  Kinda hate how my writing for this book is so sporadic because I really can't tell if I'm happy with what I've written for these important scenes or nah. Idk

Also I looked at so many pictures of people with heroin overdoses in the hospital in order to write this part of the scene and it was fucking sad to do so. I basically cried writing this chapter, addiction is truly a very tragic.

ANYWAYS I hope this chapter makes you feel something! Please comment and excuse any errors xx

Also the song below is Hey Lord by Labrinth, very good song and very relevant for this chapter more so how Adriana probably feels at this moment.

TRIGGER WARNING [SUICIDE MENTIONS]

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Hey Lord, you know I'm tired

Hey Lord, you know I'm tired of tears

Hey Lord, just cut me loose

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The faint beeping of a hospital heart monitor was the first thing Adriana was aware of when she woke up. The steady beeping sounded muffled at first but eventually grew clearer, planting a seed of anxiety in her heart. Her vision cleared after a few seconds of opening her eyes, recognizing her surroundings to be the inside of a hospital room. There was no one else around her, the door of the room was closed, and it was dimly lit. A groan escaped her open mouth causing her to move her gaze to the large tube that was occupying her mouth and throat, providing her with oxygen. Her eyes moved to the IV drip connected to her right arm. Her eyes darted to her left arm, widening slightly when she noticed the track mark on the area where she injected herself with heroine. It suddenly dawned upon her why she was in the hospital room.

  The beeping on the monitor began to rise as her eyes grew glossy with tears of utter disappointment in herself. She felt like her heart was banging against her ribcage violently as she was bombarded with images of her last night sticking a needle into her arm with the deadly drug that made her overdose. When she remembered that Mateo witnessed her overdose, it was like she felt her heart was physically, painfully struck with a bout of anxiety. The tears began rolling down her cheeks as she looked to remove the tube from her mouth and unplug herself from the saline drip bag so she could search the hospital for her son. She struggled to sit up due to the breathing apparatus and tubes stuck to her. She felt trapped and even though there was oxygen being shoved into her lungs she felt like she couldn't breathe.

  The beeping on the monitor was louder now, and luckily it attracted attention from the outside. Adriana's heart lurched in her chest when the door opened, only to see that it was Harry who walked in, causing her heart to sink in her chest. No no no no. The words echoed in her mind as she locked gazes with him. The first thing that she noticed was that his eyes were puffy and red around his washed-out green irises. He had a coffee in his hands that he almost dropped when he noticed that Adriana was awake, and her heart monitor was going crazy. A muffled sob escaped her lips, eyes closing tight shut because she couldn't bear to see the pain on his face.

    "Hey hey hey," Harry quickly ran over to her, setting the coffee on the table and sitting on the side of the bed next to her. "You're okay."

    "No, no, no," was the most she could manage. The words came out strangled and it frustrated her greatly. She wanted to rip the tube out of her mouth and let out a guttural scream. She wished she died. She was never supposed to OD.

   "Hey, don't speak, you need to rest. We can talk properly in a few days when you don't need intubation," Harry assured her, grabbing some tissue, and crumpling it up so he can carefully dry the tears soaking her cheeks. "I know you probably feel incredibly trapped and uncomfortable right now and you don't like not having control over your body," he continued to say in a soft tone, trying to be considerate of how she must've been feeling due to her rape trauma. "But it's just for a few days, you need your body to heal. Then you'll be out soon and much more comfortable."

   Adriana found his words incredibly thoughtful and gazed at him with utmost appreciation. Then she tried to say her son's name in order to find out if Harry knows what happened to him. Again, the word 'Mateo' came out incoherently. But Harry got the idea.

   "Mateo is okay, and he's with Jazmín. They're taking care of him, and I've been to see him. I'll keep seeing him until you're better," Harry told her, causing her heart to fill up with a little relief. "He's been worried, but he'll be happy to hear you're awake and okay."

  Adriana began crying again when Harry spoke those last few words. He knew it was because she was thinking about how she overdosed in front of him. It was one of the worst things that a parent could do to a child. She was never supposed to put her son in such a frightening position, having to call for help because your own mother was dying. It was awful. She was never going to forgive herself for this, and Mateo was never going to forget that moment. She traumatized her son.

   "Adriana, hey, don't think about it right now," Harry said, trying to figure out a way to carefully curate what he was going to say without making her too upset. She shot him a look that said, 'how could I not?' "Love, we will deal with it when we see him after a few days when you're strong enough to get off intubation. Right now, you need to rest your mind and focus on healing."

  She nodded slightly in agreement, focusing on him instead of her son for a moment. They looked at each other and he started crying, even though he really didn't want to make her even more upset than she already was. He gestured to hold her hand, and she nodded as a sign of consent. Her hand squeezed his tightly and she felt the tears coming again.

   "I'm just so glad you're okay," Harry added right after, suddenly looking at her with glossy eyes too. He reached out to touch her hair with his other hand, before his thumb reached down to stroke the top of her cheek, whatever the tubes weren't covering on her face.

   "You're okay, Princess."

  Harry knew the breakup was what caused her to overdose, and he had never felt more at fault. He fell sick the day he broke up with her, the stress of worrying about her took a toll on his body and he had to delay his flight to the next week. He couldn't describe the way his body became paralyzed with fear when the hospital called him because he was Adriana's emergency contact and told him the news. He knew she had never relapsed before and doing so in front of Mateo was going to be incredibly hard on her. Especially when she finds out what was going to happen to Mateo, but he wasn't going to break the bad news to her right now.

   "I delayed my flight to be here, and I'm going to be here until they discharge you," Harry continued to say, mumbling softly as he looked down at their joined hands. He noticed that she was wearing the ring he gave her, and it made him incredibly sad. "My parents told me not to come here, it wouldn't be good for me. But I didn't care. I needed to see you."

  Adriana desperately wanted to speak and tell him that she wished he didn't come. She wished he didn't know she overdosed. She wanted him to leave for England without ever knowing this about her, that she overdosed. She felt ugly, and ashamed to be seen this way by him. Deep down she knew he would never think of her in the ways she thought of herself at this moment. But that didn't stop her from loathing herself. For being a terrible mother, scarring her son for life by overdosing in front of him. For being a terrible girlfriend, hurting the love of her life this way. Nonetheless, she looked at him with all the love she felt for him clouding her eyes, and she squeezed his hand. She was in shock, that even after everything that had happened, Harry was still here to support her. She didn't know what she did to deserve his love.

   "Thank you," she told him, her words pushing the tears out of his eyes as he reached down to kiss the palm of her hand. She touched his cheek, sniffling heavily before speaking again. "I love you."

   "I will never stop loving you," Harry told her fiercely. "There's so much I want to say right now but I'll refrain from doing so because I know you can't respond. But all I'll say is that I'm so sorry I was harsh with the way we broke up."

  Adriana shook her head in response, wishing once again she could speak and tell him she understood him and the reasons he wanted to break up with her. She wanted to let him know that she supported his decision, even though it hurt her to be apart from him. She knew it was for the best.

    "You have to know that I think our love for each other is beautiful, and I will always cherish it, never regret it," Harry continued to tell her, essentially saying everything he should've said when he broke up with her. "You need to know I'll always think that."

  Adriana squeezed his hand tightly in response, looking at him with love and understanding. I know, Harry. He reached down to kiss the palm of her hand again, the action making her heart jump in her chest. She wiped his tears away with her fingertips, before she traced his perfect lips with her thumb, wishing she could kiss them again. Her hand dropped down from his face to lace her fingers with his as much as she could. She was so grateful he was here to support her, judgement free and full of love. She wasn't ready for what's to come when she was going to get better, but right now her heart felt a little bit lighter having Harry by her side.

~-~

Around a week later....

  The first thing Adriana did when her lungs were able to support themselves and she was freed from intubation was hug Harry. She inhaled deeply as her eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of having Harry back in her arms. They barely spoke a word to each other except uttering each other's names when he first laid eyes upon her, before rushing to sit on her bed and wrap his arms tight around her. His face buried into the crook of her neck, and he sighed deeply, reveling in the indescribable feeling of having her so close. He pulled back to look at her, arms still coiled around her. His green eyes gazed into hers, trying to read for any signs of discomfort with the physical touch but there weren't any. He wanted to kiss her, and he didn't try to because he wasn't sure if she was comfortable with physical intimacy like that.

   "How are you feeling?" he asked her, pulling back slightly, rubbing her arms with a smile.

   "Better," she admitted, returning the smile. "Is Mateo here?" she wasted no time in asking him. Harry's smile faltered a little and Adriana immediately noticed, frowning a little.

   "Um look, there's someone else you need to meet before you get to see him," Harry explained carefully.

   "What are you talking about? You said he was with Jazmín, right?" Adriana pulled her brows tight over her eyes, as her hands slid down his chest, unravelling herself from him.

   "Yes, he is, but Adriana, please just trust me. I need you to talk to this person before you see Mateo, okay?" Harry said firmly, squeezing her hand.

   "Well, who is this person?" Adriana questioned with confusion.

  Harry got up from the back, telling her he'd be right back because he was going to go fetch the person. When he returned, a woman trailed behind him, and when he stepped aside and she was revealed to him, Adriana froze in place as if she was submerged in cold water.

   "Adrielle?"

   "Hello, Adriana," Adrielle, Adriana's sister, responded with a tight-lipped smile, unable to shift the tension that had settled in the air. "I'm so happy you're okay," she said awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable under Adriana's wide-eyed gaze.

   "What the fuck are you doing here?" Adriana questioned loudly; brows pulled tightly over her eyes.

  Adriana had barely spoken to Adrielle in years. She thinks the last time they saw each other was when Adriana stayed with her after breaking up with Dean until she gave birth to Mateo and moved out into her own apartment in the city of New York. Adrielle took her in because she felt guilty for all those years, she didn't protect her little sister against their monster of a father. Adriana was still resentful about that when living with Adrielle but forced herself to accept the accommodation and be grateful because she needed, being pregnant.

   "Do you want to explain? Or should I?" Adrielle looked at Harry with a bit of worry creased between her brows.

  Harry sighed heavily, nodding to indicate he was going to break the news to Adriana. He went over and sat down next to her on the bed, taking her hand into his. Adriana's eyes searched for his, looking at them with confusion and slightly worry now because this all felt wrong. Something terribly wrong must've happened if someone from her past is here.

   "Adriana, the doctors called me because I was your emergency contact but when I got here, I was first met with the Child Protective Services," Harry explained slowly, watching her eyes widen drastically with the last three words.

   "No," Adriana uttered, her heart had shattered in her chest because she already knew of what Harry was going to say next. "Where is Mateo?" she demanded loudly, pulling her hand out of his.

   "Mateo is staying at my place with my husband and kids," Adrielle told her immediately. "You don't have to worry he's safe and in good hands."

   "Good hands?" Adriana scoffed loudly, feeling the anger fill up her and her body started shaking. "That is bullshit, who the fuck told you to come here?"

   "Adriana, I did," Harry told her with guilty eyes.

   "What?"

   "I-I told them about your sister, I figured you'd want him living with family rather than foster parents-"

   "You did what?" Adriana snapped at him with wide eyes, feeling the panic rise inside of her like a hot air balloon. "What the fuck do you know about what's good for my kid?" Adriana yelled at him, the sheer volume of her tone made Harry stand up and step away from her, wincing a little. "He's not going anywhere he's going home with me, I'm gonna be more careful this time-"

   "More careful? What are you talking about? You just overdosed and you still want to do drugs with your son living with you?" Adrielle exclaimed with an appalled expression on her face.

   "Shut up! You do not get to fucking judge me okay," Adriana spoke in a brusque manner, attracting wide-eyed gazes and looks of shock from Harry and Adrielle as they've never seen her this angry and unhinged before.

   "Adriana, I-I'm sorry I'm not trying to judge I reacted badly-" Adrielle backtracked quickly, realizing that this conversation was going down a bad path and all she really wanted to do was help Adriana not upset her.

   "I am a good mother okay! I may not be a good person but I'm a good fucking mother! I would never let anything bad happen to Mateo," Adriana started rambling loudly, pointing a finger at her sister. "You let bad things happen to me all the fucking time!"

   "I was a kid too, I didn't know what to do! He scared the shit out of me too!" Adrielle began defending herself, infuriating Adriana even further. She swung her legs off the bed ready to stand up but her IV drip was preventing her from doing so.

   "He never hit you," Adriana spoke quietly, shaking with anger. "You could have stood up for me."

   "Adriana," Adrielle sighed heavily, breaking her intense gaze. "I'm sorry, I should have been a better sister to you."

   "Fuck your apologies," Adriana spat at her, point a shaky finger at her. "It's too late now."

   "I-It's not too late! Please Adriana, let me do this for you. Let me take care of Mateo and make it up to you," Adrielle dove forwards and took Adriana's hands into her own, staring at her with a pleading, earnest gaze. "Y-You don't have much of a choice anyways, the services say it's either me or some foster family-"

   "No, Mateo is not going anywhere," Adriana snapped back, pulling her hands out of Adrielle's. "Now where is he? I need to see him, I need to go get him."

   "Adriana, calm down. Mateo is fine you will get to see him-"

   "Well, I don't know about that for sure, you people fucking took him from me," she yelled at her sister, throwing her hands up in the air but one of her arms was restrained by the IV drip attached to her. "Get these fucking wires off me!"

   "What's going on?" Adriana's nurse entered the room, hearing all the yelling from the outside.

   "We just told her the news about her kid, she's just a little distressed!"

   "You need to get her under control or else I'm calling security and we will sedate her," the nurse warned them, causing hysterical Adriana a wary look.

   "Oh c'mon, there's no need for that-"

  Harry's words were interrupted when Adriana let out a cry of pain, pulling everybody's attention. She sat there with the saline piercing needle in one hand, looking at her left arm where she had just retrieved it from, bleeding intensely now. Before the nurse could make any move, Adriana leapt off the bed to try to run out of the door. But she saw Harry immediately moving to block her way. She grabbed the heart monitor that was nearby and with two hands, she pulled it to the ground in one quick motion causing it to crash and break.

   "Adriana, please stop that," Harry begged calmly, arms out ready to catch her if she tried to escape.

   "No, you get the fuck away from me!" Adriana screeched at him; tears welled up in her eyes. "I need to get to Mateo, and you cannot stop me."

   "You're not allowed to see Mateo right now, so you need to calm down before these people restrain you for fuck's sake," Adrielle hissed at her, causing Adriana to snap her gaze to her sister, face warping with anger. "Behaving like this is not helping your case, you need to stop that right now!"

   "What the fuck are you talking about?" Adriana brought her hands up to her head, grasping at her hair as she tried to process her sister's words.

   "They took Mateo away from you because you aren't a fit parent, you need to start acting mentally stable if you want to get your son back!" Adrielle responded to her, making Harry frown deeply and put a hand on her shoulder. "You need to calm the fuck down!"

   "Hey, let's not yell at each other right now, please," Harry shot her a look before turning to Adriana.

  But the moment he turned to look at her, Adriana attempted to jump over the broken heart monitor that was on the floor and speed past Harry. Harry managed to catch her just as she jumped past him, strongly grabbing her arm and causing her to yelp loudly. He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her, and the needle dropped from her hand with a gut-wrenching cry leaving her lips.

    "Hey, hey, hey stop, Adriana," Harry spoke softly as she pushed against him, blood smearing across his shirt as she pulled her arms to shove his chest.

    "Let me go, I need to see my baby!" she wailed, looking up at him with narrowed eyes filled with tears. "I-I can't be without him, he needs me."

   "I know, my love. I'm so sorry," was all Harry could say in response, tears welling up in his own eyes.

   "I hurt him, Harry," Adriana whimpered against his chest, shaking her head slowly. "I let him see things he never should have seen. Feel pain and fear he never should have experienced. I told him he always had me, and he could never be alone but now he's all alone. I-I can't imagine how he felt that night, all alone and scared."

   "Adriana," Harry simply uttered, unsure of what to say but allowing her to ramble quietly and cry against him.

   "I was alone throughout my whole childhood, Harry," Adriana sniffled softly, clutching his t-shirt against her hand. "Now, he's going to feel the same way. He's going to be all alone."

  Harry knew that wasn't necessarily true, but he didn't bother to try convincing Adriana of that right now. He simply held her in his arms and allowed her to ramble and cry quietly about the guilt that burdened her heart currently concerning her son. Adriana was overwhelmed at that moment and Harry understood that, and he knew she'd come around and understand why Mateo was taken away. He just really hoped that this doesn't push her into wanting to do more drugs or something worse. He dare not think it but the word was floating around in his head. Suicide. He wanted to believe that she hit rock bottom, and this will persuade her to finally get her the help she needed.

  But for now, he held her and she let her tears fall freely. Words failed her by this point. It didn't do a good job at adequately conveying her hurt.

   So, she cried. Cried as if the ferocity of her sobs could erase the events of her past and bring her back to a moment where Mateo was in her arms again and she had never overdosed.

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What do y'all think of that new chapter? Thoughts? Comments? Feelings? What do you predict will happen next!

I hope I conveyed the feeling of disgust and shame Adriana felt well. I wanted to showcase how she always felt like she had her addiction under control because she never overdosed but now that it happened she's ashamed of herself for letting it go too far but also for letting Harry see her at her worst, at her ugliest moment. So yeah I hope that feeling of shame makes sense and you can see that in the picture of the quote I put at the beginning of the chapter.

This chapter was influenced by Euphoria S2 idk if y'all watched that recently but there was a very good scene of the main character acting really unhinged due to withdrawals from drug usage so I wanted to depict that kind of unhinged-ness with Adriana when she like loses her shit finding out about Mateo. Honestly for a scene like that watching it like a movie or a play or something does it justice, not writing it out like this lol the effect isn't as strong but I hope you guys still liked it.

Anyways there is ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT AND THEN ITS THE EPILOGUE! I was gonna do this chapter combined with the next one but this scene was so damn long I was like ok I'll just do another chapter.

To those who read all of this and the A/N and this book I love you, I appreciate you and thank you so so much for your patience ❤️

Love, Thiora

Until we meet again....