Bold= Swedish.

(If you read the title name in the cook's voice from Corpse Bride, I love you.)

T H I R T Y   T W O | NEW ARRIVAL

Everybody has different ways of dealing with a sudden loss. Some cry and scream out, some demand for answers, some suffer silently and others are in denial.

Watching as the Exodus ship her father was supposed to be on crash only a few miles from where she stood, Carter definitely felt the last one. Kane wasn't dead...

...He couldn't be dead.

There was still so much they had to mend, so much they needed to rebuild. Carter recalled the last time she spoke to her father and she never even told him that she loved him. Kane died not knowing how Carter really felt because, like always, she pushed it off.

After a few hours of just sitting in her tent, staring vacantly at the floor, Carter stood up, sick of moping around and made a beeline towards her best friends' tent. She didn't bother herself with knocking and rushed straight in, glancing between Raven and Finn who both sported forlorn expressions-- Until they saw her appear.

"Carter." Finn stood up suddenly, his eyebrows weaved together. Carter may have pissed him off when she decided to defend the ones that ruined his plan to make a peace treaty with the Grounders, but his anger dissolved instantly once he heard the explosion of the Drop ship. Now, he wanted nothing but to comfort his best friend. "I'm so sorr-"

"-Did you see it crash?" She rushed out, too busy with her buzzing thoughts to hear what Finn was trying to say. "Did you see the way it fell?"

Neither of them needed three guesses to know that 'it' was the Exodus ship. Raven was the first to answer her, or at least attempt to answer her. "Well, yeah bu-"

"-Then you should have seen everything that was wrong with it, right?" Cater zoned in on Raven. "You're a mechanic, you should have noticed that there was too much wrong with it to just be an accident."

"Carter, I-"

"- I'm a freaking engineer, I learned about those pieces of crap for a living! That ship wasn't ready for launch, the way the thrusters didn't kick on time-- they weren't charged properly! They weren't... They weren't ready," Her eyes began to glisten with a thin layer of tears as she took in the way neither of her friends could look her in the eye. They didn't agree with her. "I mean, they were two days early too! Why would they make a launch like that without telling us? Something was wrong... maybe... maybe the Exodus ship launched by mistake and no one was in it?" She frowned deeply as realization struck her hard, pushing her denial away. Carter shook her head. "No... No! He's not dead!"

Raven and Finn exchanged dejected expressions. How could they tell her that her dad was gone? Her only parent left. Carter's bottom lip began to tremble and she felt her knees weaken. A sob hitched in her throat as she slowly came to the fact that her theory was too far fetched to be considered a possibility. Her hands flew to her mouth to silence the sobs that threatened to spill as the tears finally fell from her eyes. Before her legs could buckle, Finn caught her before she fell and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, giving in to the overwhelming emotions she felt.

Her dad was dead. Gone.

"It's gonna be okay," Finn assured in a soft voice, leading her towards his bed. Raven followed and sat beside of her grieving friend, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, hoping to comfort Carter.

"I... He's gone. My dads dead." Carter bleated, resting her head against Finn's shoulder as each sob wracked throughout her body. It felt like a part of her had literally been ripped out of her chest and it hurt like hell. There was nothing Finn nor Raven could do but hold her in an attempt to soothe her, but all she could do was cry. Mourn the sudden loss of the only parent she had left. For a long time, the only thing that filled the tent was Carter's strangled sobs. She didn't care. The whole camp could witness her weakness and she wouldn't give a shit. She was allowed this.

"Hey-- Hey," Finn finally spoke as she began to quieten down grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. Her cheeks were tear stained and her eyes puffy. "I know it's hard okay? But just take deep breaths and calm down." Carter nodded her head and obeyed to his instructions, filling her lungs up and holding it for a moment before breathing out slowly. She did this a few times until her breathing began to regulate and the sobs became less frequent. "I'm so sorry Carter, I really am. But I just want you to know you're not alone. You weren't when your mom was..." Finn trailed off with a wince. "And you're not alone now. I know it doesn't seem like much, but you've got me and Raven. We're family. We always have been, always will be-- even if you are a pain in the ass." He smirked and Carter emitted an airy chuckle as she wiped away remnants of her tears with the sleeve of her jacket. "We are always here for you Carter."

"There was s-so much I never to-told him," Carter stuttered, her voice shaky. "I ne-never told him that I forgive him for what happened to my mom, I-I never told him that I love him."

"He already knows," Raven calmed, rubbing Carter's back. "You didn't need to tell him anything because he knew. Look, it's been a long day and you need to rest before you end up passing out from exhaustion. You can stay in here tonight, if you wan-"

"- No," Carter shook her head, clearing her throat as she did. "I can't leave Clarke."

"Only if you're sure," Finn offered a smile and Carter nodded meekly, slowly standing to her feet. "Do you want me to walk you?"

"It's okay," Carter gave him a small smile. "I haven't lost the capability to find my tent."

"Alright, Bambi, I was just asking." Finn held his hands up in mock surrender. Of course she still had to be sassy even though she had been bawling her eyes out a few moments before. Carter nodded to the two in goodbye before leaving their tent. She kept her eyes on the ground, not wanting anyone to see her red-rimmed eyes. She hated crying. She hated having a reason to cry. It left her feeling embarrassed.

A small group of camp members walked past her, falling silent as they did. She clenched her fists by her side and tightened her jaw. She practically feel their sympathy rolling off them in waves. She didn't want their sympathy. She didn't want any of it. All she wanted was to go back to her tent and never leave.

Carter peered up through her lashes to make sure there was no one else around camp, though she found herself looking towards the wall, where the people on watch were. There was only one person stood on the platform, guarding that entire section of the wall. Before even thinking it through, she made her way over to him, jumping up onto the platform with a small grunt. If he heard her, he didn't turn around.

"Why are you on watch alone? Where's the others?" Carter asked once she got to her feet. Her voice was sore and croaky from her previous episode.

"They were either too drunk or too upset about the crash." Bellamy replied, reluctantly looking from outside of the wall to Carter's puffy face. "I'm sorry about your dad."

"Me too." Carter nodded with a sad smile. She leaned against the wall and peered outside, searching the darkness for any suspicious movements. "Do you think the Grounders will attack for what happened today?"

"I'm betting on it." Bellamy answered grimly. "It's just a case of when."

"Let's just hope it's not soon." Carter sighed, resting her chin against the non-spiky part of wall.

"Are you coming to the wreckage tomorrow?" Bellamy asked, his gaze flickering between Carter and the woods.

"To try and find the burned corpse of my dad? No thanks," Carter chuckled bitterly. "I don't really want to do anything. I... I just can't. What's the point in fighting anymore? What have I got to fight for-"

"- Shut up," Bellamy interjected, grabbing her forearms making her look at him. "Don't talk like that. You want to know what you've got to fight for? How about Finn, Raven, the camp? Do you really think your dad would want to hear you talking like that?" His questions were met with silence and he carried on, "Do you really think Kane would want his daughter giving up? No, he would want you to keep fighting. Because that's what we do now, Carter. We fight and we don't stop, not even when we've got nothing left. We don't get the choice of giving in, because if we do, we're dead." He paused for a moment and sighed. "I know it hurts Carter, god it hurts so much, but you don't have to focus on the pain. Focus on fighting because even though your dad is gone, you're not. And that's what matters." Carter's eyes trailed down to the ground and Bellamy clasped each side of her face to make her look back up at him. In any other situation, she would have found almost comical at how large his hands were compared to her face. "Remember what you told me back at the bunker? You told me that I wasn't fighting this alone, that you were there. Well, you're not fighting alone either. But, you can't think like that, Carter. You can't give up and you've got another damn thing coming if you think I'm going to let you. I get it's hard, but you need to move through it, we can't afford to let our guard down. This might not be the moral support you wanted, but I'm just trying to help you. Letting you sit in your tent all day, crying to yourself isn't going to help you. If you need something to fight for, fight for your dad."

After a long moment of thoughtful silence, Carter nodded her head. He was right, and she knew it. The world they lived in won't stop because she was grieving. Come on Carter, get a grip of yourself. It's going to be hard, sure, but you need to push through it like you always do. Especially down here. His words, no matter how meaningless they could have been to him, hit her deep. She was a fighter, she fought through her mothers execution-- which, frankly, was worse than her father's death considering she had no idea as to why her mother was floated-- she can fight through this. Her dad may be gone, yes. But forgotten? Not a chance. Noticing the silence which had surrounded them, Carter cleared her throat. "Can I, uh, ask you for a favor?"

It was like Bellamy only just remembered he was holding onto Carter's face and the flustered expression he wore back in the bunker had returned as he quickly brought his hands back down and held tightly onto the gun that was strapped around his shoulders. "Uh, yeah... yeah."

"When you go to the wreckage tomorrow, can you try and find him please?" Her eyebrows weaved upwards. "I'd do it myself bu-"

"- It's okay, I'll do it." Bellamy nodded, not needing her to justify herself. "What if he's too..." Unrecognizable. "Is there anything would have survived the blast."

"His councillor pin and his wedding band," Carter answered almost instantly. "Both of which he never takes off. He has his ring on his finger and my mother's ring on a chain around his neck. You can't mistake it."

"I'll keep an eye out," Bellamy offered her a small smile. "But right now, I need to keep watch and you need to go sleep. It's been a long day."

"Okay," Carter nodded with a weak smile of her own. "Night, Bellamy."

"Goodnight, Carter."

***

From the moment she was awake, Carter had busied herself with work in an attempt to avoid talking to people.

The only people she willingly spoke to were Finn, Raven, Clarke, Bellamy, Jasper and Monty.

The latter two forced Carter to talk to them. They had the intentions to make Carter's mood lighten and oddly enough, it worked. Carter found their company more than welcoming and it was different to the usual sympathetic looks she was given. Her head felt a lot clearer after Bellamy's little speech to her, and even though the loss of her dad hurt like hell, she was beginning to deal with it. There was more important things that she could focus on rather than wallowing in grief for the rest of her days.

Once Monty and Jasper left Carter in peace, she decided to try and improve the weapons again-- since the last time didn't work out so well-- and that's exactly where she planned on spending the rest of her time until the other's got back from investigating the crash site.

Although, someone else had other plans for her.

"Right, the group that went to the wreckage have been gone for two hours and I'm bored," An over-dramatic sigh sounded from behind Carter and she cocked her head to the side to see Kara stood in the entrance of the tent. Of course it would be her. "And there is no way I'm letting you stay in here to drown in your depressive thoughts."

"Hello to you, too." Carter remarked, sitting up straighter. Luckily, this time there was no dismantled gun to hide as she had managed to put in back together properly. Her interest peaked at the idea of not being alone with her thoughts and it was obvious Kara wasn't going to give Carter any sympathy-- for example, her sensitivity towards Carter's 'depressive thoughts'-- so the blonde found no objections to not do something with Kara. "Okay, Chancellor, you've got my attention," Kara wrinkled her nose at Carter's sudden nickname for her. "What shall we do?"

"I think we should shoot up some trees, because from what I saw on the bridge yesterday, your aim is shit."

"Hey, I managed to injure a Grounder with just one bullet." Carter defended. "Not all of us used to be on the guard you know, I'm allowed to have a shit aim. Besides, I make up for that when I'm fixing up these crappy guns for you lot." She scoffed, standing to her feet and stretching her arms. She grabbed herself and Kara a gun and smiled slightly. "Don't we have some trees to shoot up?"

Kara took the gun and they both walked out of the tent and made a beeline towards the gate. Considering most of the people on watch never cared much about people going in or out of camp as long as they stayed close, Carter figured that it would be a breeze getting out, but she was wrong-- which seemed to be coming a common occurrence.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going with those guns?" Conner shouted after the two of them. Carter had only really noticed the boy once and that was when Murphy was taking a leak on his back.

"Out?" Carter answered unsure, not knowing whether it was a trick question or not.

"No you're not," Conner shook his head, hopping off the platform for watch. "Bellamy said no guns were to leave camp."

"Well Bellamy's not here is he?" Carter retorted.

"That doesn't mean you can break the rules the second he's gone." Conner narrowed his eyes. "What would he say if he found out you two weren't listening to his orders?"

"Wouldn't be the first time." Carter quipped, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Can't you see we're busy, Conner?" Kara flicked up an eyebrow at the boy. "If you're that bothered, go write a complaint letter." And with that, both girls left camp, ignoring Conner's cries in protest for them to get back. A pregnant pause ensued between the two girls as they walked in content through the forest. When they finally hit their destination-- a bunch of trees with different shaped targets craved into them, it was where the camp came to practise-- Kara stepped to the side with a smirk. "Show me what you got, Conners."

Carter returned her smirk with a half-lidded scowl and prepared herself to shoot the targets. There was five of them. Five targets. After five bullets sounded throughout the surrounding area, Carter looked from her scope to see what she hit. Three targets and a branch. And the one's she did hit weren't even on the outside of the bullseye. "Dammit." Carter growled in frustration.

"All the while you're getting pissed, you're not gonna hit them," Kara sing-songed teasingly, further infuriating the blonde. "You don't shoot from emotion, you shoot from concentration. And to be concentrated you've gotta be calm."

"Yeah, thanks for that Miss Renolds," Carter drawled sarcastically causing Kara to snicker lightly. Carter exhaled slowly and tried to clear herself from all emotion, which turned out to be easier said than done. Once she managed though, she took the shots again.

Three targets and skimmed the fourth. But this time, the bullets sat just on the outside of the bullseye.

"See? You've already improved." Kara praised, raising her gun and taking five shots consecutively with no pause. They all hit their targets, pretty much in the center, except for one which had hit the outline of the bullseye. "Soon, you'll be able to do that."

"Do both of my teachers have to be obnoxious?" Carter asked rhetorically, raising her eyebrows playfully.

"Says the engineer. Please, you guys pretty much invented being obnoxious." Kara retorted. There was no plausible argument Carter could make against that statement so she merely shrugged. "Now come on, your turn again."

They stayed there until it darkness had began to fall upon them, just talking and shooting-- which worked greatly as a distraction for Carter as well as beneficial lesson on how to shoot a gun 'properly'-- and then Kara suggested they should head back to camp before Bellamy came back and had a bitch fit. When they did hit camp, the others still hadn't came back to the pair decided to sit with Octavia and Monty, all of them trying to find a way to kill time. Although, Carter quickly found amusement in Jasper as he retold the story of what happened on the bridge to a few camp mates-- only he told his version, which wasn't exactly the true version.

"Fears only a problem if you let it stop you, right?" Jasper had them all hanging on to every word he said and Carter had to seriously hold in the urge to scoff loudly.

"That's not even his line." Octavia pointed out with a bored tone. 

"Finn said that." Kara added, rolling her eyes.

"When I saw the Grounders in the trees, it was like nothing I've felt before. Pure animal instinct took over. One pull of the trigger, two Grounders dead." Jasper's voice lowered to add theatrics to his story.

"He and I remember it very differently," Carter pointed out, looking between her friends. "I think it was more like, one pull of the trigger, fifty bullets later then two Grounders dead."

"And 'pure animal instinct'?" Octavia frowned. "More like pants-wetting panic."

"You don't really know what you're made of until a moment like that, you know? When it's kill or be killed and there's nothing between you and the tip of the spear." The few members of the Hundred that were latched onto Jasper's story nodded their heads almost in understanding.

"Kill or be killed?" Carter repeated with disbelief. "That bitch stole my line, too."

"Okay," Octavia sighed, standing up. "This has to stop."

Monty grabbed her arm before she could go and interrupt the Wonderful Tales of Jasper Jordan. "Come on, let us have this."

"Us?"

"Look at him," Monty gestured with his head over to his best friend. "The boy is a folk hero. They even gave us a bigger tent."

Before anymore could be said, the sound of metal clattering caught everyone's attention and Carter's eyes widened with what it could mean.

"Somebody hit the tripwire!" Someone yelled. Frantic talking relayed back and forth until one of the boys on watch took two shots and whatever they saw moving.

"I think I got them!" The boy reported, jumping down from his post and towards the gate, where most of the people had began to run to, most of them eager to find out if it was a Grounder. All except one person; Octavia. Her face had visibly paled and she was the first to dart ahead of all the others. Carter could only assume it had something to do with Lincoln, the Grounder she was romantically involved with.

Carter decided to hang back in camp, not wanting to get caught up in the crowd. And apparently so did Monty.

"What do you think it was?" Monty asked, his eyes fixated on the gate as they waited for the others to come back in and notify them on what had hit one of their traps.

"I'm hoping it was an animal." Carter replied uncertainly.

"But knowing our luck? It was probably something that could kill us." Monty mumbled. And as if on cue, the others returned, whispering among themselves, and that's when Carter saw a small group break through the crowd, holding a broken form between them. Even with all the cuts and bruises his face harboured, Carter saw his identity as clear as day and her breath hitched in her throat as her eyes widened to their maximum capacity.

Murphy.

Ah yes. Another cliffhanger. I'm sorry, it was supposed to be all one chapter, but I got carried away with my words... again. I think I may have a problem considering I set myself the target of 2500 words and always manage to go over it.

Anyway, as you can see, I actually learned how you do covers *throws truck-load of confetti* It took me near on an hour, but I did it. Woop.

Can I also just profoundly state, I almost lost my last shred of sanity writing this chapter. You will never know how many times I had to rewrite because I wasn't happy-- I'm still not-- but that's mainly because I had no idea how you react to the loss of a parent. Fortunately, I still have mine so my understanding on that matter was pretty poor. If I didn't get it right, give me a bell so I can edit it and make it more realistic because I really don't want to overdo it nor underdo it.

Thank you ever so much for reading :) It's good to know people still find this good. So yeah, thank you and have a good day/ night/ whatever it is where you're at. I have another chapter to work on:D