Bury me in these hoodies and open tabs, Could you make it okay? These cigarettes don't do me good anymore, these scars are here to stay. Sunbleaching couldn't begin their process to fade. 3D white in a tube, flashy flashy flashy, I'll dress in chains, accessorize my pain, I need to pour all of this out of me, fuck writing dates.

4-29-18
I wake up to the palm trees,
A curtain of iridescence.
Last night's whiskey
And dirt that pushes
Beneath my fingernails,
Still lingers.
I smoke pineapple cigars
And sit at the doorway.
My window here
Is no longer
The chipped paint,
Crusted over with dreams
And cracked wood,
It used to be.
I'm on my own here,
Foreign place,
Foreign me.
I wear Dad Shirts,
And I try to figure out
How I can wake up
Everyday
Sure that this person
I want to be,
Is the right one.
Problems,
It creates.
Can't shave my head
Cut my hair short
Dye it blue
And get a perm all at once.
I think I'm multidimensional
And I had so many routes
They could take,
But now
They just meet at the same
Intersection
Who goes first?

I want to gather the sheets,
The rivers of lives, all over
Inside of me.
I want all of you back
But yet
You don't fit here anymore.
Shapeshifter.
I still hold my tongue
Keep the purple
Till I'm numb.
My eyes don't crave destruction,
These hands push back
In very different ways
I'm no victim, I swear to god,
But I ask why I haven't left you?
I see the horizon
As it meets the sky,
The clouds dripping down-
Too light to touch anything of substance.
There's a sparkle at that line,
The black
You can't see up close.
Coloring book.
My coffee is cold,
No ice,
I wake up to a cold,
I'm fine,
And my hands have found dexterity
In a controller,
And I don't type out my words
Like I should.

He tried to find it-
Between sleep and awake,
And I walk through it
Like a drug induced state.
Your blood is bright in my dreams,
It's not right,
And I look at you now,
The stars fell from your eyes-
A cosmic encounter
And the crash of your empires.
Did you feel deeper then?
Did you feel your own intellect,
Or was I just crazy?
But you knew that,
---
We knew that
And I understand why you'd go.

I'm soaked in Old Spice,
Maybe I'll burn if I get the chance.
Play with fire.
The slits to your wrist
Tie us together,
Cornered against chicken wire.
You take me home.
What the fuck is home,
Maybe a mirror,
Watercolors to admire,
Is it the laugh of a junkie,
Who's job,
Didn't need a resume for hire.
And maybe he wished it would've,
And maybe he wished he'd gotten
Declined.
Let it slide,
Though, aye?
Smooth like a credit card,
I'll hold numbers
Under the roof
That houses language,
And I'll make the transactions,
And if I'm not innocent,
Can somebody fucking take it?

Sign me in.
Sign me in.
I'm ready to go,
I'm ready to start sculpting,
Chipping away,
Never soft as clay,
River mud and
The heat of the days,
How they repeat
And take a seat
In your car
With the moonlight.
It's the illegals in my pocket,
And the keys, I know you got em.
No vacation for me here,
But the cities
And the palms
And the decks
And the dice
And the rounded roofs,
All reside here.
I take my shoes to my nails,
And I think that tonight
I'll die here,
iMessage
And maybe I'll sleep in your bed.
Stay the night in my head?
⁃ (m.m)