A/N: One day late, sorry.

Can't believe I wrote 4k words about Megumi having a mental breakdown (lol)

Important notice at the end of this chapter!!

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Megumi's eyes tore themselves away from the picture and he was then met with the same ice-blue eyes as one month before. The blue eyes that had had him enchanted. The blue eyes and the pretty face and the charming body of the person whom he had lost his virginity to.

Gojo.

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It was indeed him. Megumi was face-to-face with Gojo. Here. Right now. They were meeting again.

"Oh..." Gojo uttered lowly as he halted in his tracks.

Gojo was Yuuji's dad. Adoptive father, actually, but... Yuuji was calling him dad.

"What kind of reaction is that?" Yuuji teased Gojo, taking off his jacket. Casually he added, "Don't tell me you two have met before."

Yuuji had positioned himself in front of Gojo, more or less waiting for an answer. He had his back turned to Megumi, and Gojo was watching Megumi silently, lips still showing a small 'o'.

Megumi, who had been in a seemingly paralyzed state ever since entering the house, snapped back to reality.

He realised the fatality of this.

Megumi had slept with him.

Yuuji was Gojo's adopted son.

Gojo was Yuuji's adoptive father.

Megumi and Yuuji were roommates.

Megumi had slept with him!

His heart started to race, he was sensing cold sweat damping his skin. His stomach started coiling.

His eyes quivered. Yuuji couldn't see him, Gojo could. With much needed efforts, Megumi shook his head behind Yuuji. First slowly and controlled, then more erratically and desperate.

Don't tell him. Don't say anything!

There was no way Gojo didn't understand Megumi's begging. He had not once lost eye contact with Megumi ever since appearing. His face lit up. "Actually, yes! I remember him!"

I'm going to faint. Megumi's head started spinning. A ringing sounded in his ears. His eyelids fluttered.

"He bumped into me today!" Gojo finished.

Megumi's inner frenzy cleared a bit.

What?

"Really?" Yuuji faced Megumi with raised eyebrows.

"Uh, y—yes... yes!" Megumi freed himself from his numbness. "Yeah, I... was running some errands during lunch break and... bumped into him. Not forgettable... that hair..." Megumi mentally facepalmed himself for that last statement. It didn't make his bluff any better!

"That white hair looks crazy, right?" Yuuji agreed and then addressed his adoptive father again, "You look like a grandpa."

"I look younger than you, Yuuji."

Yuuji bursted out a mocking laughter. "Yeah, sure. Anyway, this is Megumi. My roommate. We share a class. I thought maybe you'd be fine with helping us out, if we ever need some help?"

"Sure. I can help you." Gojo's stare rested back on Megumi. With a small, innocent smile, he said, "Hello, Megumi."

Megumi was unable to respond to his greeting. Yuuji didn't notice it. A big part of his personality was the ability to overlook things, if they didn't seem strange enough to him. He would need more obvious clues.

"Alright! Come with me, Megs. I'll show you my room." Yuuji went ahead, up the stairs.

Megumi's eyes followed him until he was out of sight. Then he anxiously observed Gojo. The man hadn't moved from his place and hadn't said anything else to Megumi after his greeting.

Megumi, his flight instinct having animalistically taken over his mind, passed Gojo tentatively. He watched him; watched Gojo follow Megumi's every movement excruciatingly silently. He allowed himself a side smile when Megumi passed right next to him to get to the stairs.

Anxiety was searing through Megumi's bloodstream as he mounted the stairs. He was restless, on the edge, irritable, desperate, distraught. Yuuji had been waiting for him at the top, one hand on his hip.

"Thought you got lost." he joked, picking up the way to his room. "What do you think about my dad? Peculiar, right? He's always like that, but at least he is not as embarrassing as other parents. That's all that matters to me."

Megumi's irritability was torturing him, his rational thinking suffering from it. "Why are you calling him 'dad'?? He's your adoptive father!" he snapped.

Yuuji stopped in his tracks, one hand in the air as he'd been about to open the door to his room. He looked at Megumi with eery confusion. And with an eery voice, he said, "How did you know? How did you know I'm adopted?"

Fuck.

Megumi's body stiffened, his senses on hold. He had made a foolish mistake. His restlessness had given him away. Of course, officially, he couldn't have known that. Yuuji hadn't told him anything about it. Gojo had.

He tried warily, "Uh—I mean... the hair colour... You... You two look nothing alike... I—I was just... guessing!" Megumi bit his lip until it hurt, lowering his gaze. He had fucked up. "I'm sorry."

Would Yuuji even believe that?

Would everything come to a revelation now?

Megumi wouldn't have to tell him all about it, but just Yuuji knowing that he and Gojo knew each other would lead to unnecessary and unpleasant questions Megumi didn't want to deal with. The more Yuuji would dig out of curiosity, the higher the chances of him finding out.

"It's okay. You don't have to feel sorry or ashamed for making that assumption. I don't know my real parents. And I don't mind being adopted." Yuuji said appeasingly. "He adopted me when I was nine years old. I feel very grateful towards him. He's always been good to me. That's why I call him 'dad', I guess. I'm used to it."

Yuuji really did not suspect anything on first sight, so it seemed. Megumi had thought that he'd made a grand mistake, but Yuuji hadn't perceived it that way. He perceived things positively, not thinking about the worst of possibilities when something strange was said. One would have to express obvious signs of distress to him.

"That's my room." He pushed the door open and let Megumi inside. It was a big room with a balcony, kept clean and tidy. Posters on the wall, albums on a shelf and figurines in a vitrine gave the room a personality. Yuuji added, "You can sit down on my bed. I'll be quick packing all the things." and took out a bag from his closet.

Megumi sat down on the bed gingerly, still recovering from the shock. He didn't utter any replies. If he was lucky for once, Yuuji had already been able to come to the conclusion that Megumi didn't like talking much anyway.

Shortly after, Gojo came inside with a knock.

Megumi's heart lept a beat.

He was carrying a tray with two self-made lemonades. "Refreshments?" he suggested merrily.

Yuuji was still busy with packing. "Thanks, dad. Just put them on the table." And then – to Megumi's horror – Yuuji left the room, muttering something about 'bathroom' under his breath.

No, Megumi panicked, don't leave us alone!

After Yuuji's departure, Gojo placed the tray down and faced the only other person in the room. Megumi was unknowingly holding in his breath, dreading whatever would come next. He put a hand behind himself, ready to scoot back on Yuuji's bed, as though that could save him in any way.

Megumi's entire being was rejecting the prepossessing entity he'd craved a month before.

Gojo strode leisurely towards him. Megumi's body tensed up defensively. Gojo crouched down in front of him, prepping up his elbow on his knee, resting his right cheek on his closed fist.

He didn't show any emotions—just a plain expression and a little tilt of his head. "You almost passed out there." he said unworriedly.

That moment was still so vivid to Megumi. He had honestly thought that Gojo would give everything away right there and then. You tricked me!

He didn't answer, breathing shallowly. Gojo dared even more. He placed a finger under Megumi's chin, keeping his head in place. His own face scooted closer. Closer, closer, even closer.

Megumi shifted his head to the side when their lips almost touched—they had been merely inches apart. Everything inside him was protesting.

He couldn't look at Gojo. It strained him looking at the person who he had shared an intimate moment with, and now turned out to be the adoptive father of his roommate.

Gojo scoffed, amused. "Funny how destiny works. You were insisting on it back then."

This is not destiny, and it is certainly not a blessing. Megumi fought with himself. This is a curse!

He gathered all courage to lock eyes with the other. His voice was trembling when he asked, "Are you going to tell him?"

"Hm?" Gojo hummed, playfully pouting. He stood up, hands in pockets. His posture was the exact opposite of seriousness. "That's all you're thinking about?"

What does that mean? Megumi questioned, but couldn't say it out loud.

Gojo spun on his heels and that was when Yuuji came back with toiletries in his hand.

Gojo was at the door, when he looked back for a last time and announced with a wave, "Don't be shy about accepting the offer. I would love to help you two out!"

What does that mean?! Megumi asked himself again, and almost broke down.

Yuuji jabbed a thumb back over his shoulder. "See? It's totally fine. He doesn't mind helping us out."

You don't know what's going on, Yuuji! Megumi wanted to scream that out. Thinking about it again, he was glad he didn't.

He took a deep breath.

Fuck.

The worst thing that could have happened in his life.

He was fucked.

***

First week of university had passed by. Megumi had constantly been thinking about Yuuji and Gojo and the situation he had been woven into. He had entered a state of constant overthinking, causing him anxiety.

It pained him. Messed up his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about worst-case scenarios. Ways in which Yuuji might find out. Many different possibilities of Yuuji asking an innocent question and Megumi taking it the wrong way, and saying something that Yuuji shouldn't hear.

Next Monday, after classes had ended for both and they were in their room, Yuuji came up with a brilliant idea.

"Wanna go to my dad's with me?"

Megumi stared him, as though he had been a witness to Yuuji confessing the worst sin in the history of mankind. "Why?"

Yuuji scoffed good-humoredly. "You know why. Or did you already forget? Let's ask him to help us out with our class. It's better, if we ask him for some advice now than later."

Megumi had the sudden wish to drop dead.

So Yuuji was serious? He had actually been serious with his idea? He hadn't just said it casually? He actually wanted to go and ask Gojo for help? Together with Megumi??

Megumi's chest churned. He attempted an ordinary voice, an ordinary stance, an ordinary attitude.

"You were actually for real? With the offer, I mean?"

"Yeah." Yuuji shrugged his shoulders, boasting, raising a brow suggestively. "It has its perks having a doctor as a parent."

Was this Yuuji's motivation speaking, since they were still at the very beginning of their university years? Megumi couldn't tell.

But he didn't like it. At all. For obvious reasons.

Why did Yuuji want to actually do this? Didn't he say a week ago that he cared more about other stuff than his studies? Megumi had been desperate enough to cling to the possibility that Yuuji would soon enough forget about his offer. Forget about the fact that he wanted to take Megumi with him when going to his dad.

"Wanna go?" Yuuji inquired curiously.

And Megumi couldn't answer.

"I—" A knot restricted his voice.

Like vile hands of guilt wrapping themselves around Megumi's throat and pressing, throttling him.

Silence. Megumi wrung his hands together, almost breaking his knuckles. The inside of his ribcage felt heavy and he could sense his rigid heartbeat at the tip of his toes.

Shit, was all he could say to himself.

One hour later, they were at Gojo's. Megumi had helplessly given in to Yuuji's plan.

What would have happened, if I had declined the offer right from the very start? Megumi thought anxiously.

He couldn't tell.

Ever since stepping into this house again, he hadn't found a moment of clear calmness.

He had avoided Gojo's gaze as much as he could, and he had barely said anything. His mind was torturing him. As if electric spikes were abusing his head, making him unable to function like a proper human being.

First problem.

How would have Yuuji reacted if he saw Megumi vehemently attempting to decline his offer from the very beginning? Would he be able guess that Megumi's demeanour changed after their first visit to his childhood home?. Would he be able to guess that these two incidents are linked together? Would he start getting suspicious? Asking questions? Digging in more? Asking Gojo questions instead, if Megumi didn't give him any answers??

Megumi couldn't tell.

And it wrecked him.

Second problem.

Which one was worse?

Yuuji staying at his dad's alone with Gojo's newly obtained knowledge of Megumi being Yuuji's roommate? Or Megumi being with them—and Gojo nonetheless being well aware of what had happended between them a month ago?

Megumi was on edge. He knew that Gojo was a very carefree and unpredictable person when it came to things he'd say or do. Megumi couldn't tell if Gojo would drop ambiguous comments that were alarming, especially when Yuuji was around. Megumi didn't want to think about anything that could possibly happen, when he wasn't with them.

Yeah... He got it now...

Gojo and Yuuji being among themselves was far worse.

Him being present meant that he could intervene. If Gojo said something he shouldn't say, he would break him off, if needed.

Yuuji would probably get suspicious because it would be so unlike Megumi, but Megumi would have to deal with that sort of damage control.

Anything was better than the truth.

Thirty minutes into the study session with a helper by their side (Gojo), Megumi found out why Yuuji has been so eager about all of this. He wasn't interested in understanding the class as a whole. All he wanted to know were the most important basics.

So that's what it was. That was why Yuuji had been so adamant about it. He just wanted to shorten his study time. This was so much more like him. Not studying as much as he should but as much as was needed to pass the course. Since Gojo had studied medicine, and this was a joint class for medicine and pharmacy, Yuuji would of course not miss out on getting valuable tips and tricks from Gojo to get good enough grades. The class they shared didn't require a written exam to pass, but the project they'd be assigned to in the future required knowledge about the subject nonetheless. Learning only bits of a subject but still enough to pass, academically scraping by instead of taking it seriously as a whole... Yeah. That was more like Yuuji.

How could Megumi make sure that Yuuji wouldn't go to his father for help? He wasn't good with talking. He didn't know how to convince Yuuji that he didn't need Gojo's help. Megumi could offer his own help (something he'd have never dreamt of a week before), but it was better than Gojo being on the scene.

Would Yuuji even agree to it? After all, he wanted to cut off study hours for this seminar. Not even Megumi could help him with that because it was his first time taking the class, too. Gojo knew more about it than him. Yuuji would never drop Gojo's help to accept Megumi's one.

Third problem.

Would Gojo ever say something? Reveal the truth? Yuuji was Gojo's son — adopted son — after all.

As long as he didn't know if Gojo would say or do something, Megumi was at despair's mercy.

Would Gojo actually say something? Would he make some allusions just to mess with Megumi? Would he think that it was totally fine telling Yuuji? Or make allusions for Yuuji to find out himself what had happened? What did Gojo think about all of this??

Megumi had no clue.

Gojo was unpredictable. And he loved fooling around.

To Megumi, it was of the utmost importance that Yuuji mustn't know. But to Gojo... he probably didn't care... or did he?

Megumi couldn't tell at all, and that gnawed on his mind—eating away at his sanity.

Back in Yuuji's room, Gojo hadn't even answered Megumi's question about whether he'd tell Yuuji.

Gojo was having his own fun, huh? Megumi's mind was torturing him. It was kinda ironic. It was Gojo who had advised him not to start his first year with any troubles and now here Gojo was—being amidst said trouble.

As long as he didn't know what Gojo had in mind – not knowing whether Gojo was playing one of his own little game just for fun or not – Megumi was forced to sit back and watch.

This was the worst.

"—g?"

He couldn't keep calm, overthinking literally everything.

"—eg?"

He was a prisoner inside a maze with too many open questions lurking around.

"Meg?" Yuuji's voice eventually reached his ear.

"Huh?" Megumi blinked. He had been dumbfoundedly staring at the wall the whole time. He must have looked like a crazy maniac.

"You okay?" Yuuji sounded genuinely concerned.

Megumi looked at Yuuji. Yuuji looked at Megumi. Megumi's peripheral vision told him that Gojo was staring at him too. Megumi forced himself to keep his eyes on Yuuji. If he looked at Gojo now, anything could be possible. If I look at Gojo now, I will lose the last bit of self-control that I have left.

"Yeah... yes! All fine." Megumi blinked a few more times to gather himself.

His fingertips twitched, his leg was whipping up and down furiously, his heartbeat on a high altitude, going irregular.

He was so close to standing up and dashing out of the room. Flee the scene.

The worst he could do, actually, if he wanted to appear inconspicuous.

"I was thinking about one of my other classes. Something that still doesn't make sense in my head." he said weakly.

"I can help?" Gojo offered kindly.

Megumi flinched involuntarily. "No—no, there's no need. I'll just go over—... the slides again. Will probably figure it out myself sooner or later. Have to." Megumi reverted his attention to his tablet, randomly opening one of the presentation slides of his med classes. He busied himself with that for the rest of the session.

That day nothing critical had happened, but Megumi had left the place with a heavy mind and an aching chest.

Throughout the week Megumi had undergone moments where his thoughts would whirl back to the obvious and tough problem he had.

What should he do? What should he do? What should he do?

There wasn't a lot he could do, and the things he could try came with problems.

Should he distance himself from Yuuji? Strictly staying roommates with him to avoid relations that could make the matter at hand more difficult for both to handle?

Almost impossible. Yuuji would get suspicious. He was already on the track of getting closer to Megumi as a friend. If Megumi backed away right now, all of a sudden, Yuuji would annoy him with questions. Yuuji was the type of person who would want to know why someone, who he liked, wanted to distance himself from him. He'd probably start getting more clingy, not shaking off his suspicions.

Should he change dorm rooms then? If they weren't roommates anymore, it wouldn't matter anymore what Megumi and Gojo had done.

Impossible. Yuuji would get even more suspicious. Changing rooms out of nowhere, especially since everything had seemed fine to Yuuji so far, would have him rethink everything... The least Megumi would need or want right now was Yuuji questioning Megumi's abrasive behavior.

So, in the end, there was little to nothing he could do.

In their joint class, Yuuji was sitting next to him. His sheer proximity caused Megumi's mind to waft over to his problem again. He didn't listen to the lecturer.

Gojo was supposed to stay in the past, he sighed. He was supposed to be the ending part of Megumi's life before university. The part he'd already finished and closed like a book. Gojo was supposed to be a dulcet memory of his youth. He shouldn't have slithered back into his life like a centipede.

Megumi was already kind of foreboding it. Gojo's reappearance was altering the balance of Megumi's life.

It gave him the feeling of being on the edge. Perpetually. Ruthlessly. Unceasingly. Despair was hugging him.

"You good?" Yuuji mumbled next to Megumi's ear. He watched him with a questioning glance.

How had Megumi looked like moments ago for Yuuji to elicit such an expression?

"Just a little nauseous. It'll pass."

"Can I help you? Something wrong?"

"It'll pass." Megumi repeated absentmindedly.

Later that day, Megumi was in his room, alone, lying on his bed, staring at the white ceiling. The monotonousness of it made Megumi even more aware of his multi-shaded dilemma.

Would Yuuji ask him today to go to Gojo again? How many more times until Yuuji was satisfied?

How to get out of this mess?

Everything came back to the fact that Megumi and Yuuji were roommates. The cause of it all was the fact that Megumi and Yuuji knew each other. If Yuuji found out... he would not be able to get along with Megumi as casually. Always secretly judging. Always secretly disgusted—

Speaking of the devil, Yuuji came into the room right at this very moment. Thinking about Yuuji and having Yuuji in the room with him now had Megumi turn around until he was lying on his stomach. Crossing his arms, he rested his head on them, face nuzzled into his pillow.

"Feeling better now?" Yuuji asked earnestly.

Megumi stayed silent.

By now, Yuuji was totally used to Megumi's habit of scarcely using words and his passiveness to things such as conversations.

Megumi heard how the other was taking off his shoes and making himself comfortable on his own bed on the other side of the room. There was a pause, and Megumi could bet on Yuuji watching him to gauge an answer.

"Don't tell me..." Yuuji began after a while, suggestive, "Don't tell me med school is already too much for you to handle?? That was fast."

Megumi stayed silent. At least Yuuji was on the totally wrong track.

Yuuji went on in his usual lively manner. "I'm just a pharm student, but since you're a med student, I'll give you my dad's phone number. He can help you out with stuff, even if it's not about our joint class. He won't mind. Okay?"

Megumi heard a 'ping' sound coming from his phone.

Yeah... no. If only Megumi had enough mental stamina left, he'd have laughed about this. I'm not gonna ask him for help, Yuuji.

Megumi couldn't stop himself from thinking about something...

Should he call Gojo after all? Talk to him? Beg him not to say anything? Convince him to stay silent about the matter?

Would Gojo actually do that? Would he have enough empathy left to consider Megumi's conscience and feelings? Would he even listen to him? Gojo; the one who was living life carefreely?

How pathetically desperate would Megumi appear, if he did this now? Like a helpless, weak child who needed to be constantly helped out by adults.

Megumi stayed silent. This time Yuuji was actually concerned.

"Meg?"

"Fine!" Megumi snapped, giving an answer to Yuuji's question just to keep him silent and satisfied. He rolled in his bed again, facing the wall.

Yuuji understood the hint. He busied himself with his phone, scrolling through his social media accounts.

Untroubled Yuuji on one side of the room and horribly troubled Megumi on the other side.

Megumi pressed his hands onto his face, rubbing his skin sore.

Gojo and Megumi had fucked. Gojo was Yuuji's adoptive father. Yuuji was Megumi's roommate. Yuuji wanted to become Megumi's friend. Yuuji would drag Megumi to Gojo's again in the future.

Gojo and Megumi had fucked.

And Yuuji didn't know.

And Megumi couldn't think of ways on how to get out of this trouble.

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A/N: Next chapter will be VITAL to the story. I'll upload it this weekend!

Comments are appreciated! ^^